A/N: This is the response to the prompt "Let's see _ stuck in a closet with _" from a crossover meme. I couldn't bring myself to write Kurt and Vegeta as a pairing, but had fun with this way of going about things.
Trapped in the Closet
"I can't believe you got us locked in here. I've been out of the closet for two years," Kurt huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
"And I've gone my whole life without being in the vicinity of a man who spends as much time choosing clothes as you do," Vegeta said with a sneer, though Kurt couldn't see it in the dark of the Glee club's storage closet.
"Don't you talk about my fashion sense, mister spandex pants and bulky armor! And remember when you thought it would be a good idea to grow a mustache? That thing looked like a caterpillar died on your upper lip!"
"That armor was designed specifically to be durable, not fashionable, you imbecile. And at least I'm strong, not weak like you, who can't even defend himself against a player of that stupid game you call football."
Kurt's eyes narrowed at the mention of Karofsky. "Fuck you," he spat.
"Not bloody likely. If any fucking were to happen in here, I'd be on top, and you'd probably break, you skinny brat."
Kurt searched for a retort, but gave up after about thirty seconds. "I hate you, Vegeta."
Vegeta let out a single noise that may have been a laugh. "That's something we agree on." He paused. "How long until this Schuester you called will be here to unlock this damnable closet?"
Kurt checked the time on his phone. "I called him ten minutes ago, and he lives a half hour from the school. Can you do the math, oh prince of all Saiyans?"
"You're trying to annoy me, aren't you, brat?"
"You're avoiding the question." Kurt said. "What's thirty minus ten, Vegeta?"
"If it will get you to shut up… twenty, of course."
"Oh, good. You don't have an ape's brain after all," Kurt said and laughed.
"Do you think you can spend twenty minutes in silence, boy? Or will I have to render you unconscious?" Vegeta snarled.
"Fine, fine." Kurt said, resigned.
But after five minutes, he was humming the tune of "Defying Gravity", and Vegeta didn't follow through on his threat. He wished he hadn't promised Goku that he wouldn't harm innocent civilians, otherwise Kurt would be lying passed out on the floor from a punch to the head.