A/N: KoLee
Because why not?
Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness
Hushabye Mountain by Dick van Dyke
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. P.S; my knowledge in psychology is amateur at best. In other words, I have no idea what I'm doing so just play along for now.
The door opened and Ko froze in shock.
"K-K... Ko." The figure on his door step stuttered out, staring up at the older man as he shivered and shook from the cold.
Maito Lee.
The boy was drenched from the rain that still raged on outside. His blue jeans clung to his legs while the green hoodie pulled over his head was soaking wet as well and did nothing to stop the boy's hair from sticking to his skin right over his eyes.
"Lee? What are you doing here?"
The boy looked down at his feet for a moment, tightly clutching the backpack in his arms up against his chest before he looked back up and spoke, "I need you."
Thunder roared and lightning flashed, causing a bright light to flash and illuminate Lee's face. Other than the obvious effects of the rain, Lee's eyes were puffy and red, like he'd been crying for hours. Those normally vibrant black eyes were aching with sadness.
Ko blinked and shook his head free of the shock as he quickly stepped forward to grab Lee's arm and pull him inside.
"What are you doing out this late in this storm?"
"I-I had to come." Lee stuttered out as the man moved around him to shut the door before he turned and quickly ran down the hallway. "Stay here, I'll be right back."
Lee nodded and Ko went down the hall to the bathroom. He grabbed a towel and rushed back wondering what on earth was going on.
Lee was standing right where Ko left him when he got back, the boy hadn't moved an inch. Water was starting to pool around his converse sneakers and Lee continued to shiver from the cold.
As far as Ko knows, Lee lives on the other side of town. If he walked all the way there then that meant that Lee really has been walking for hours. Maybe it's best if he gets Lee a change of clothes, let him take a shower and get dressed in the bathroom before calling his father Gai.
But for now-
"Here." Ko said as he pulled off Lee's hood and started drying his hair; the boy still hadn't moved or so much as said a word, "Why are you here? Did something happen?"
Suddenly Lee dropped his bag with a loud thump on the floor and wrapped his hands around each of Ko's wrists, surprising the man greatly.
"Lee?"
Lee's hands tightened a bit around Ko's wrists before loosening and he pulled the man's hands away, forcing Ko to let go of the towel which fell to the floor.
Lee's hair was a mess, pitch black cowlicks went all around his head from the towel dry in a mess of black chaos but Ko just barely paid attention to that. Lee's eyes were filled with so much sadness it made the older man try and pull back only for Lee to keep him still.
"I needed to see you."
Ko took a deep breath, "You're not supposed to be here Lee. If you wanted someone to talk to then I'm sure Miss Shizune could-"
"No, I do not need her I need you." Lee said with his eyes filling with even more heart ache, "She does not understand me like you do. No one does."
Ko looked into the boy's eyes fighting against the urge to wrap Lee in his arms and hold him tight, but he couldn't.
It wouldn't be right.
"Lee, does Gai know you're here right now?"
Lee paused and looked away making Ko sigh as he turned away, "I'll go call him-"
"No!" Lee cried as he pulled the older man back, forcing Ko to stay still as he wrapped his arms around Ko's waist and buried his head in his chest. "Please if... If you do that he will take me away and I might never see you again."
Ko tried to stand still as the water on Lee started soaking through his t-shirt, not trusting himself to move too much with the boy holding onto him like this, "You're not supposed to see me again Lee. Remember we talked about this; I can't be your psychologist anymore. That's why I recommended Miss Shizune; she'll be able to help you-"
"No, no she will not. They came back." Lee mumbled into Ko's shirt with a sob as his arms tightened around the older man's waist. "They came back and they will not go away."
Ko frowned, "Who came back?"
Lee sniffed softly as he leaned into the older man a little more. "First Gaara came back, then Sasuke and Neji-"
Ko shut his eyes and let out a heavy sigh as he gave in and wrapped his arms around Lee's shoulders, slowly rubbing circles over his wet hoodie.
"Lee-"
"You are the only one that makes them go away. You are the only one that can." Lee said as he looked up at the pale eyed man, "Please, do not make me leave."
"You can't stay here. I can't give you what you want Lee." Ko said as he pulled away but stopped when Lee suddenly moved, wrapping his arms around the Hyuuga's neck to pull him down and crush their lips together in a kiss.
Ko's eyes went wide at the contact but couldn't help but wrap his arms tighter around the boy's waist as Lee's lips moved against his own.
It was just like this a year ago. Of course, it wasn't raining then and Lee hadn't shown up at Ko's door step at eleven o'clock at night.
They were in Ko's practice in the middle of Konoha.
It was four o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon, Lee came in for his session the way he did every week twice a week.
You see Lee suffers from a very strange form of schizophrenia. The boy had paranoid delusions that somehow managed to manifest themselves into imaginary friends that Lee believed to inhabit three of his stuffed animals.
It started when Lee was eight years old, his father Gai often travelled on business and on one of his many trips he bought Lee something on his way home. A brown raccoon with a long bushy tail and green coal rimmed eyes.
Lee fell in love the moment he saw it and soon enough the stuffed animal became Lee's very best friend, a best friend he named Gaara.
The boy didn't really have any friends to speak of when he was little. Apparently the other children in his school found teasing and making fun of him to be much more interesting than making friends with the boy so Lee never really had anyone to play with when he was younger.
When Gai realized how pleased his son was with his new toy and how much happier he was after he got it, he decided to get Lee another stuffed animal on his way back home from a trip.
This time in the form of a cat with soft pitch black fur and bleeding red eyes. Gai had been a little hesitant in buying that one since its red eyes almost seemed to glow eerily in the dark and he most certainly didn't want to scare his son. But fortunately Lee didn't really mind the cat's eyes; he thought it was perfect and no more than two days later the toy also had its very own name.
Sasuke.
And yet again Lee had never been happier.
The problem only came in when Lee turned twelve years old.
Gai got a promotion and because of this they had to move to Konoha and that's when everything changed.
They moved into a new house in a brand new neighborhood and Lee started at a new school. The kids at his new school were a lot more accepting than the ones at his old school if not a little nosy and soon enough Lee made friends.
There was a girl named Tenten, the girl took a special liking to Lee and often protected him from any bullies he encountered in his first few weeks of school. The brown eyed girl was confident and so understanding; even after Lee introduced her to Gaara and Sasuke she never teased him.
Not even once.
She just smiled as Lee talked about his friends. She even humored him by telling Lee to bring Gaara and Sasuke over so they could play. Lee had beamed back with an immediate nod; he visited Tenten often after that sometimes with Gaara and Sasuke and sometimes without them.
Then there was Naruto. The blonde boy was a little loud and maybe just a bit obnoxious sometimes but Lee soon learned that he was one of the best friends he could ever ask for. Even if Naruto laughed at him when Lee introduced him to his toys.
Lee had pouted for days after that, but it didn't take long for Naruto to worm his way back into Lee's good graces. The blonde's smile was nearly impossible to resist, so really it was only a matter of time before Lee forgave him.
Naruto didn't tease Lee about his friends again, although he did frown when the raven haired boy mentioned that the stuffed cat's name was Sasuke. Making some dismissive comment about meeting a boy named Sasuke once but the boy left town a few days later so Naruto didn't really know much else about him.
Lee had new friends, real friends. So naturally he outgrew his toys and rarely ever paid much attention to them. Until about three years later when Lee got his first kiss.
He got it from a girl named Sakura, a girl that Lee liked very much. Apparently Gai absolutely adored the dark blush that covered his son's face when the boy told him about it.
But then, no more than a week later Lee started shutting himself away. He didn't go see his friends anymore, didn't go to athletics practice and barely even said a word to anyone when he was at school.
Gai became incredibly worried, especially after the schools guidance counselor called and told him that Lee got into a fight with one of the other students at school.
Apparently the fight started when one of them caught sight of one of Lee's stuffed animals in his bag and started toying with it as they teased him. No one's exactly sure what happened, since Lee and the other boy were alone when it happened, but somehow the boy ended up with a broken arm and leg.
Lee swore up and down that he didn't do anything wrong but of course, no one would believe him. After all, how could anyone believe him when he accused Gaara and Sasuke of being the ones to do it? The boy who got injured said that he didn't remember how it happened, just that everything suddenly went dark before he woke up in the hospital.
Lee was suspended and Gai decided to get his son some professional help.
And that's how they met.
Lee came in for his session every Wednesday at four o'clock and a few weeks after starting, Lee started showing great progress.
From what he could tell, Lee's manifestation of Gaara occurred because of his isolation and deep loneliness. The boy often told Ko about Gaara and his 'life', why he came to stay with Lee in the first place. According to Lee, Gaara had no friends of his own and was almost always ignored or shunned by the kids his age.
That could easily be interpreted as Lee simply projecting his own loneliness and isolating it onto the physical form of a precious gift that his father gave to him when he was at his worst.
Sasuke was a little more complicated. From what Gai told Ko, Lee didn't start taking an interest in sports or any other academic achievements until after he got Sasuke. Before Lee was always too shy and nervous to really take part in any school activities since the kids from his school usually teased him horribly and made him feel terrible every time he so much as attempted to join in.
But after he got Sasuke, it seemed as though Lee didn't really care. He barely paid any attention to the jeers and taunts that were called against his back when he first joined the track team. Lee's one and only focus was being his absolute best and doing whatever was necessary in order to win. Lee said that Sasuke had an older brother, a brother that he could never measure up to no matter how hard he tried. Sasuke's father ignored him in favor of paying attention to his older brother and so the younger boy always had to work harder just to be noticed. In Sasuke's case it could be Lee projecting his feelings of inadequacy and his desire for success.
These seemed to be the only logical explanation for Lee's psychosis and for a while Ko thought that they were doing well. Until he asked about the incident at school and then Ko wasn't sure what to think at all.
Lee said that it was his fault. He said that Gaara and Sasuke were already annoyed with him when the boy in his class found them in his bag and so they attacked him in anger, but Lee insisted that they weren't usually violent it was his fault for making them angry.
Ko asked what Lee did to make them angry and suddenly the boy blushed. He said that they got angry when he stopped playing with them, that he hurt their feelings when he ignored them and started hanging out with his new friends instead. But none of that was quite as bad as when Sakura came over to study for a test one day and she ended up kissing Lee right there in his room, while Gaara and Sasuke watched from the top shelf of his room.
Apparently Gaara and Sasuke didn't want anyone kissing or touching Lee like that and it upset them when he just let the pink haired girl do that to him. So Lee started spending more time with them over the next few weeks to make it up to them until the boy in class found them in his bag and all hell broke loose. Lee said that Kiba tossed Gaara and Sasuke onto a desk on the other side of the room before he suddenly got too close, whispering something in Lee's ear when Gaara and Sasuke suddenly struck.
Ko had no idea how to interpret that at first until he spoke to Gai after the session and then he suddenly understood.
The boy that found Gaara and Sasuke in Lee's bag was a boy named Kiba Inuzuka and according to Lee's best friend Tenten, Kiba has had a crush on Lee since the boy first moved to Konoha when he was twelve and had been planning on making his feelings known to Lee since the beginning of that year.
Translation:
Lee had two separate but equally intense emotional experiences, the first time with Sakura in his room and the second with Kiba in the classroom after everyone else had left.
Lee used Sasuke and Gaara as his safe place of sorts, when something happens to him that poses either a physical or emotional threat, Lee regresses into his safe place which is when Gaara and Sasuke take over and protect him. When Lee is teased or bullied, Gaara protects him and keeps him safe and when he experiences failure or doubt in his own abilities Sasuke offers comfort and reassurance. So when Sakura kissed him the initial reaction may have been good, but it's also possible that Lee started to doubt himself as time went on. A fear of rejection and loneliness may have kicked in resulting in Sasuke and Gaara's full-fledged return.
The incident with Kiba may have been caused by the boy teasing him or it could have been a caused by another emotional reaction. If Kiba actually did confess to Lee, then the reaction he received may have been from Lee panicking and yet again regressing into his safe place. As a boy Kiba's behavior may have been interpreted in a more hostile way or it could have evoked homophobic thoughts in Lee which resulted in Lee attacking him and thinking that it was Sasuke and Gaara.
Although Lee didn't really seem like he could hold any kind of ignorant prejudices like homophobia but Ko has seen stranger things so he tried not to make any premature judgments just yet.
Still, that theory seemed to make the most sense and so Ko decided to start working on the boy's treatment. The best place to start seemed to be with getting Lee comfortable with the outside world, teaching him how to handle foreign situations he didn't quite understand and above all teaching Lee how to remain as calm as possible in high stress situations.
Of course he couldn't go the direct route of simply telling Lee that Gaara and Sasuke were just figments of his imagination, Lee had to come to that conclusion himself. Lee brought both of the stuffed animals with him whenever he went to their sessions and Ko could sort of observe the boy interact with his friends.
Lee didn't really interact with them too much, from what he told Ko, Gaara and Sasuke don't really talk much although Lee's eyes would wander towards them every now and then during the session. Sometimes he'd blush and other times he'd hiss and tell them to please be quiet when they interrupted while Ko spoke.
It was definitely strange to watch and at times Ko wondered if it wouldn't be best to have Lee taken to an institution where they might be able to offer him better help. But then again the methods they applied at some mental institutions were quite severe and Ko had grown to care too much for the boy to send him anywhere where they might possibly harm him.
Yes, Ko grew fond of Lee. It hurt him to think that the bright and warm young man that sat before him every week could be going through the deep emotional distress that he was clearly experiencing. In an interview with Gai Ko asked if Lee had suffered any kind of physical or emotional abuse prior to his manifestation of Gaara and Sasuke and Gai insisted that Lee had always been a happy child even before Gai adopted him. From what he heard from the social worker that handled Lee's adoption, even though Lee never really fit in very well with the other kids at the home; he seemed to be very well adjusted and never showed those kinds of problems before.
This only served to puzzle Ko even more, but he was still determined to find some way to help the boy finally live a normal life. Until about a year later.
Ko's nephew, Neji, had passed away very suddenly due to a plane crash that year and in honor of his nephew Ko put a picture of him on his desk. Lee came in for his session and saw the picture Ko couldn't help but tell Lee a little bit about him. An hour later it seemed that Neji was all they talked about and at some point during that entire episode Ko suddenly found himself on the couch where his patients usually sat with Lee's head resting on his lap as he spoke. Such interaction between a psychologist and a patient is frowned upon of course, but Ko couldn't help but feel a little grateful at the short reprieve of comfort he received and his affections for Lee grew.
He only realized his mistake two weeks later when Lee came in with a new friend.
A fluffy snow white owl with silver eyes named Neji.
Apparently Neji was a gift from Naruto.
The blonde hadn't meant any harm when he gave Lee the stuffed animal. It's just that he missed his friend so much and he wanted Lee to have something to remember him by, and since Naruto remembered just how much Lee had loved the stuffed animals that Gai gave him he didn't think it would be that big a deal if he gave Lee one too.
It couldn't be helped and really Ko blamed himself for Lee's apparent regression, he should have never told Lee about Neji and above all else he should have never let the boy get as close as he was. So he tried to handle the situation as professionally as possible.
Neji was even stranger than Sasuke.
He didn't really seem to offer Lee any kind of safety at all. Lee said that Sasuke and Gaara didn't like Neji, he said that they were always arguing and when Lee interrupted them Neji would turn on him and call him names, strangest of all was how Lee said that Naruto couldn't come over anymore because Neji didn't want him there.
Jealous, controlling and possessive; Ko's sure that that is not how he described his beloved nephew but Lee was insistent in his fearful descriptions of Neji, so Ko chose to just accept them as Lee saw them. Better to work off of what Lee thinks than what he knows.
And work they did, it took time to work through Lee's insecurities, help him manage his fears and finally get a steady grasp on reality but eventually they did it. Three years later Lee had stopped bringing the toys with him everywhere he went. He got enrolled into a new school and started spending time with friends and other kids his own age. Eventually Lee even put Gaara, Neji and Sasuke away and he barely ever thought of them anymore. Ko was glad with the progress that Lee was making and he was sure that in a few more months Lee wouldn't even have to go to their sessions anymore and Ko almost felt a little sad at that fact.
But then came that day three weeks ago at four o'clock on a Wednesday day afternoon.
That day Lee said that he had something important that he needed to talk to him about, something that had been on his mind for quite a while. He expected it to be something big since Lee wasn't his usual bright energetic self, choosing to stare at his feet and blush right down to his toes when he said it, but he honestly didn't expect what came next.
Instead of telling Ko what was wrong Lee said that he'd show him.
That's when Lee kissed him, moved right off the couch to wrap his arms around Ko's neck and give him a deep kiss. Ko was shocked at first, but then he wrapped his arms around Lee's waist and he kissed back. He let Lee pull him from his seat and onto the floor where he almost made a colossal mistake with a seventeen year old patient. As soon as he came to his senses Ko immediately pushed the boy away and tried to talk some sense into him as well.
It broke his heart to watch Lee's expression fill with sadness at the rejection and it almost crushed his heart into dust when he told Lee that it would be best if he found a different psychologist.
But it wasn't just about Lee. Ko knew his feelings for the boy weren't healthy, it wouldn't be right to continue with the way things were between them. Not just because Lee's attachment to him would in no way help him with his progress but because Ko knew that he wouldn't be able to resist Lee for long if they kept going. He recommended Lee to Miss Shizune, a very kind and capable woman who would be able to help Lee with the rest of his treatment and said his goodbyes.
But now…
Ko forced himself to pull back with a gasp, "Lee, stop."
"You are what I need." The boy whispered, "I need to stay here, with you."
"Lee, you know I can't let you do that."
"But, you want to don't you?" Lee whispered as he started kissing down the side of the older man's neck, "I do not want to leave, please do not make me go."
"Lee-"
"Please, Ko. I need you."
He should've said no. he should have pushed the teen away and immediately called Gai and explained what happened so his father could come pick him up and put an end to this madness once and for all.
Lee kissed him again, harsh and desperate arms, wrapped tightly around his waist as he tried to pull them together as close as possible and Ko kissed him back. It's such a bad idea, Ko knows better than this. So much could go wrong after all.
But he couldn't stop himself as that familiar warmth he felt whenever he was in Lee's presence intensified, despite the wet cold clothes he wore. The raven haired teen was warm and solid and seemed to fit so well in his arms that he just couldn't help himself.
Lee let out a soft moan as his arms went up to wrap around Ko's neck and the older man moved quickly to lift Lee's legs and wrap them around his waist. The teen gasped, pulling back to give the older man a smile as he looked into those pale eyes before he kissed him again, pulling at his wet top to pull it off and Ko helped him toss it to the ground before doing the same with his t-shirt as they stumbled down the hall and into the bedroom.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Deep breath.
Two am.
Ko made his way from the kitchen back to the bedroom where Lee lay sleeping.
He made a mistake. A very bad, very big mistake. He should have felt terrible right at that moment. He should have felt guilt and regret grating at his mind and stabbing at his chest. But he didn't.
Ko didn't regret any of it and that fact scared him more than he ever thought possible. After Lee fell asleep he went to the kitchen to get something to drink and at least try to get his thoughts in order. He kept thinking about what he should do next.
The responsible and honest thing to do would be to call Gai and tell him what happened. What he should do is come clean so that Lee can get over this crush he has on the older man and get the help he really needs to help him deal with his situation. Maybe he should call Shizune, have her come over to talk to Lee, but…
Ko sighed in frustration.
This is all such a mess.
The pale eyed man paused outside the bedroom door at the end of the hall. He couldn't help but smile just a little at the thought of Lee being on the other side of the door; sleeping soundly in the deep embrace of sleep with his lips still bruised and red, while the moon illuminated his pale skin. He shouldn't be happy at the thought of having Lee in his bed. Ko should feel absolutely horrible right at that moment.
But he didn't.
Ko quietly opened the door, making sure that he didn't wake the teen as he stepped inside only to freeze at what he saw.
There were three new figures around the bed, peering down at Lee's sleeping form. One had pitch black hair raking his hand through Lee's hair as he sat on the floor beside the bed. Another had bright red hair and stood by the bed, with his arms folded across his chest and the last one, sat on the bed beside Lee with his long brown hair covering his face as he spoke.
"You shouldn't have shown him how to get here."
Ko blinked, that voice was oddly familiar.
"It wasn't safe and now look what happened."
"I'm not going deny Lee something he wants." The raven said as he just kept dragging his hand through Lee's hair, "Besides, this is all your fault. If it wasn't for you, Lee wouldn't have wanted to see him."
"If it weren't for you Uchiha, Lee wouldn't have met him in the first place." The red head said casting a dark glare down at the other who only glared back.
"I wasn't the one who attacked the dog boy."
"You kept pushing your luck, constantly trying to touch him in human form. We were supposed to wait-"
The door shut with a loud clack and Ko jumped since he hadn't realized that he'd let it go. The three pairs of eyes immediately snapped over towards him. One pair crimson red, another bright green rimmed in coal black and the other a glowing whi-
"Neji?" Ko breathed as he took a step back as the brunette got up and turned to face him, "I-but how-"
"Lee shouldn't be here." The brunette said cutting him off as he folded his arms across his chest, "In the morning send him back home-"
"No." The redhead suddenly said as he turned to face Ko as well, "In the morning, you call Gai and tell him that you made a mistake. Tell him that it would be best if you were Lee's psychologist since he responds better to you."
The raven frowned, "Sabaku-"
"That woman plans on sending Lee away; they'll lock him up and put him on pills until he forgets us." The redhead said clearly and the other two tensed, when the redhead just kept his eyes on Ko, "You're going to keep Lee safe. Understood?"
"I-" Ko stuttered uncontrollably in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as he stumbled back when the redhead's eyes suddenly changed to a bright glowing amber. His form grew bigger and a large brown tail grew from his back as he loomed over the pale eyed man and screamed
"UNDERSTOOD?!"
And then Ko gasped.
He immediately sat up, panting hard and covered in sweat as his eyes darted around the room wildly.
He's in his bedroom.
It's morning.
The sun came pouring in through the windows covered in bright white curtains and Ko could hear birds chirping and cars humming faintly in the distance.
The pale eyed man let out a sigh.
A dream, it was just a dream.
Ko raked a hand through his hair and rubbed at his face when the bed suddenly shifted beside him and he jumped only to find Lee lying next to him. His hair was a mess of tangles all around his head while his hand clung to the pillow beneath his head as he sighed softly in his sleep.
The older man took in a deep breath as he just watched Lee for a moment before letting out a soft sigh as he reached out to thread a hand through Lee's hair.
"What am I going to do with you?"
Lee mumbled something incoherently in his sleep as he moved closer to Ko's form and threw his arm over the older man's lap and Ko smiled. He looked around the room, trying to locate his shirt or at least a pair of pants when he spotted them across the room, on the dresser facing the bed. Leaning in to give Lee a kiss on the cheek, Ko carefully slipped out of the bed but the teen started to stir just as he set his feet on the floor.
Lee's eyelids clenched before they slowly pried themselves open and he lifted a hand to shield against the bright light that flooded the room.
"Ko?" The teen asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and let out a wide yawn, Ko couldn't help but smile. "Good morning."
"Good morning." Lee said as he set his head back on the pillow, "What time is it?"
Ko snatched up his watch on the bedside table, "Ten o'clock."
"It is a good thing I have no school today." Lee said sleepily as he burrowed down a little further under the covers but didn't go back to sleep. Ko's smile grew a little more at how adorable the teen looked before he got up from the bed and walked over to the dresser to grab his pants. "You should get up soon."
"Why?"
"You need to call Gai, he's probably worried sick." Lee let out a groan as he pulled the sheets higher over his head and Ko let out a snort before he finished, "We need to talk about last night as well."
"There is nothing to talk about." Lee said under the covers and Ko shook his head as he stopped in front of the dresser to grab his pants, "There's plenty to talk about. We need to figure out what-"
Ko's eyes went wide and he gasped in shock. Lee pulled the covers down and looked up at the man at the sound, "Ko what is wrong?"
Ko said nothing. He just stared at the three stuffed animals sitting on the dresser one was a brown raccoon with bright green eyes rimmed in black, the other was a black cat with bright red eyes and the other was a snow white owl with pale eyes.
Lee sighed, "They got out of the bag."
"Bag?" Ko asked when he suddenly remembered the back pack that Lee had with him the night before that completely slipped his mind. He remembered the dream he had, the one with the three men standing over Lee as he slept. He remembered Neji standing with them and he remembered the names of Lee's imaginary friends.
Gaara, Sasuke and Neji.
Suddenly Lee let out a giggle and Ko's head snapped back towards him as the teen smiled up at him.
"Gaara says he likes you."
A/N: yeah
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