Empty Rooms
K Hanna Korossy

Figured that the decision to start training with Ruby again, and drinking demon blood, and lying to his brother about all of it, would be the easy part.

The hard part, the one he was struggling with that very moment, was simply walking out the door.

Dean's little speech about the thousand heads of the snake and the two of them never having the chance to get older had suddenly made things a lot clearer for Sam. For one thing, he had every intention of Dean making it to geezerhood, doting on the kids he made with Lisa, or someone else, and the grandkids. For the other, Sam was determined that he—they, if Sam survived the showdown with Lilith, which he wasn't too sure about—wouldn't still be hunting while drawing fake Social Security checks. And since neither of them had a better plan or, really, any plan at all for achieving that without Sam's abilities, it was kind of a no-brainer. Sam had gone back to Ruby the very night they'd wrapped up the dead magicians case.

He'd left Dean at the bar then, unsurprised when his brother ended up getting plastered. But tonight, Dean was asleep, sprawled across the bed, vulnerable and unprotected. And that…that was a lot more difficult to walk away from.

Sam turned and dug through the mess of research piled on the table, shifting papers as quietly as possible. There. He dug out the motel notepad and, hesitating a moment, scrawled a note. Leaving a room while the other slept wasn't completely a jerk move. Not leaving any sign of where you were going and when you'd be back, however, was. Sam tented the note so it would stand, and snuck over to Dean's bed to prop it on the nightstand where he'd see it when he woke.

Dean shifted in sleep, breath catching in his throat.

Sam froze, watching his face.

A soft sheen of sweat had popped out across Dean's forehead and in the hollow of his throat. His eyes were darting behind the lids, and his hand had curled into a fist. Then his back arched, a tiny, trapped sound slipping out.

"Hey," Sam whispered, laying a hand lightly on his brother's breastbone. "I'm here. It's okay, man, you're okay."

Dean's next breath sounded almost like a sob. But after a few seconds he quieted, head lolling to the side as his muscles lost their tension. The fine wrinkles by his eyes smoothed out.

Jaw set, Sam couldn't help leaving his hand there a moment to feel Dean's chest rise and fall. He'd just had his own moment's flashback when his brother went limp, to that dining room in New Harmony where Dean had died, and Sam had stopped living. Each beat of Dean's heart chased the memory further away.

Satisfied, Sam straightened, letting out his own long, slow breath. This was another reason why he hated leaving like this. He knew Dean remembered Hell now, and how much he struggled with it, but something about confessing the worst to Sam had seemed to throw open doors Dean had managed to keep locked until then. He had more nightmares now, or maybe just worse ones, and day and night he seemed haunted, fearful. And Sam was one of the few things that had any power to calm him.

Stay or go? Help Dean now, or work to secure his—maybe the world's—future?

Cursing silently, Sam stalked to the door and went out, not looking back, not waiting for Dean to tempt him back.

Ruby was waiting in her car just outside. She looked at him as Sam slid inside but wisely held her tongue.

"Where're we going?" Sam finally asked when he'd managed to get the image of his sleeping, helpless brother out of his head. He didn't turn toward her, staring at the wet windshield. He hadn't even felt the rain.

"Nest of demons one town over. Thought maybe they'd have a lead on Lilith." She was watching him as she drove; he could sense it. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," he said tersely. He didn't need topping off. Didn't feel like he was leaving his guts back in the motel room. Wasn't seriously screwed up.

"That's good," Ruby said cautiously. Then, "Is Dean—?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sam interrupted.

Ruby gave him another look but fell silent.

Nest was probably a generous word for what they discovered in the old farmhouse outside town. As Sam and Ruby did recon, circling the property, peering in windows and taking down the two guards they came across, Sam only counted three demons within. Five total: not much of a challenge, but then, considering demons hadn't used to travel in groups, it was still a sign of the times. And several chances to glean some information about Lilith.

After a silent discussion, Ruby slipped back around to the side door while Sam counted to twenty and burst in the front.

Ruby killed another demon before Sam even made it to the main room, but that was okay, still left two for him. As soon as he strode in, he had his hand up, freezing the two possessed people where they stood, their eyes glittering with fear and rage.

"You already know who I am. Good, that'll make this go faster." Sam cocked his head. "Where's Lilith?"

The guy, grey decomp showing around the edges of his face, glanced over at the girl who stood staring at Sam. The guy licked his lips. "I don't know, I swear."

The vessel was dead already; there was no use exorcising him. Sam's eyes flicked over to Ruby, who nodded and stepped in behind the guy. A flash of light, and he was lifeless on the floor.

Sam turned his attention to the girl, whose defiance had faded a little with her last companion's death. He gave her a cold smile. "How about you? You don't know, either?"

Her lips pursed, body straining against Sam's invisible hold.

He tightened his fist a little, watching with satisfaction as she gasped and bucked. "How about now?"

"I don't…I don't know where the bitch is. Not all of us s-serve…"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Guess we don't need you then, either." A tug of his hand, and she started to gag.

"No, wait." She coughed, shuddering where she was pinned. Sam could feel the tremors through his hand. "I can-can tell you s-something else."

He eased his hold, just a fraction, eyes meeting Ruby's for a fraction of a second over the woman's shoulder. "I'm listening."

"The house, the-the Gibson house. The kids there. They were hers."

Sam stared at her. The Gibson case had been over a month ago, a fiasco from the start. A family had gotten mixed up in what they'd thought was a straight haunting, the uncle killed while he was trying to help the Winchesters. Then it'd turned out they weren't even hunting ghosts, but rather the two feral kids of the incestuous owner, who'd lived their whole lives in the basement and walls. The Winchesters had messed up several times on that one, but Dean especially had started showing serious cracks in judgment and coping skills.

Which still didn't give Sam the foggiest clue what the demon was talking about.

"What do you mean?" he snapped. "The Gibson kids? They were whose?"

"Lilith's." At Sam's obvious interest, the demon seemed to regain some of her confidence. "Didn't figure that one out, huh? Neither of you wondered why the lights were flickering if they were just human, or how they got so strong, or where they learned to write? Bet you didn't even check for possession." She smiled, her eyes inky.

Sam's mouth went dry. The kids were possessed? How had they missed that? Then again, what would demons have had to gain possessing two crazed humans trapped in a house?

"Still don't get it, huh?" The woman's smile grew. "Maybe Lilith has the right idea, after all."

"What're you talking about?" Sam asked harshly, but they both knew he cared too much about the answer to have real leverage.

Thankfully, the demon seemed more than willing to share. "How's your brother doing these days? Waking up in a cold sweat? Jumping at shadows?" If she hadn't been held frozen by Sam's will, she probably would have been strutting. "Lilith was pushing him a little further around the bend, loosening his screws some more. She wants him out of the picture, Sam. Both of you, but starting with big brother. Only, he hasn't got that far to go, has he?" The teeth she bared were bloody.

The fury that whited out his vision felt like a surge of power. Sam clenched his fist and yanked without making a conscious decision, feeling the demon rip from her host with violent force. There was an inhuman scream and a flare of sulfur fumes. When Sam's vision cleared, it was to see the woman unmoving on the floor, the demon a fading pool of embers around her body.

Ruby stared at him, then crouched to feel for a pulse. "She's cold."

Sam nodded jerkily and dropped his hand to his side. He should've felt bad about that but didn't. What she'd said…what they were doing to Dean…

"Are you going to tell him?" Ruby asked quietly as she stood, her eyes back on Sam.

He swallowed, finally feeling his heart slow as he stopped gulping air. "No." He shook his head. "If I told him, he'd want to know how I knew, and I can't…" He shook his head again. "He doesn't have to know."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "That he's a demonic target? Don't you think that's kind of important?"

One more deep breath, and Sam shifted where he stood, certainty solidifying in him. "Not really news at this point, you know? And he's beating himself up enough already about the Gibson case." Pushing him a little further around the bend. Only, he doesn't have that far to go, does he? The demon's words still chilled him.

Sam lifted his chin. Maybe she was right, but that didn't mean Dean would break. Sam wouldn't let him. This would be one more secret he would willingly bear for his brother. Dean had protected him when they were kids, and now it was Sam's turn; Dean deserved a shield instead of a needy little brother. If that meant Sam had to be on his guard all the time, take charge more often, do more with Ruby, so be it. The Gibson thing wouldn't happen again, no matter how well Dean seemed to be managing.

"Take me home," he said, then nodded at the bodies lying around them. "We can call this in on the way."

With any luck, he'd be back before Dean woke up alone.

The End