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So I am extremely sorry to all my New Realization readers who have been eagerly and so politely awaiting an update but I had this spontaneous idea and had to get it down before I forgot it. This is my first Edward and Bella fanfic so hopefully it's decent. It's pretty long compared to most of my chapters but that's cause I plan on making it a one-shot so I had to get it all in at once. Please tell me what you think everyone. Love you all my dearest readers :D!!!
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own the gorgeous Edward or the marvelous Bella; they all are Stephenie Meyer's characters so I have no cred. The story is my own plot though.
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I sighed in complete and utter frustration. It had been almost 5 months since I'd gotten any and I was going crazy. This was so stupid, wasn't it the guys who are supposed to die when they didn't have enough sex? Aren't the girls the ones who are supposed to wait for love and devotion and be dating the guy forever and be head over heels before they even considered 'making love'? Well that's a crock of shit if I ever heard any. Unless I was the only girl on the planet feeling this way, but I highly doubted that. Once you have sex, once you feel the friction, the heat, the waves of pleasure that wash over you, I can't see how any girl could get enough
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of complete tramp that will sleep with any guy that has a dick. I need to know the guy, date the guy for a little, just know him enough that there's a connection. Not be madly in love and planning the wedding night or anything, but there still has to be something there before ill go all the way. Maybe that was my problem, I want taking what was offered to me, and most guys when they realized you're not going to put out after the third date give up and walk out.
Edward Cullen, my roommate of 5 years and closest friend ever since I moved to forks and broke through his hard exterior, looked up from his take-out and gave me a funny look.
"Everything okay Bells?"
"What? Oh yeah, everything's fine Edward" I couldn't help the slight look of annoyance cross my face from thinking of my predicament though, and Edward caught it much to my disappointment.
"Really now Bella? Then why do you look as if someone just murdered your dog and keep sighing every few minutes?" he chuckled at the pout I gave knowing I was caught…"and pout the second you know I've figured you out and you have to fess up. Please Bella you know me better then that, I always know when something's up, just spill"
Well shit.
"Okay, first off I don't have a dog. Secondly I'm not sighing! I'm breathing heavily! It's stuffy as hell in here! And thirdly, you've figured out nothing and I don't have to fess up anything!" I let out an exasperated breath after the jumble of words escaped my lips.
"okay, ill give you the not having a dog part, but your sure as fell not breathing heavily the window beside you is wide open, and you just said you didn't have to fess up anything, meaning there's something to fess up, meaning spill love" he gave me that crooked smile he always had, at most times it was cute on him, but now it was just rubbing in the fact that I was caught and he was right.
"Maybe I don't have to fess up anything because there's nothing wrong, ever think of that big shot?"
"Yes, except if there wasn't anything wrong you wouldn't be so defensive about it, that's how you always get when something's wrong. Come on bells, I'm always here for you and you know it, you never just let me know what's wrong, but I always get it out of you anyways so why cant we just skip the argument and get right to the point..Okay?"
I sighed again knowing he was right. I caught him before he could mention it
"That sigh was because your right and I know you'll get it out of me, NOT because of what's wrong"
"Aha, so you admit something is wrong then?" he smirked, already knowing he was right.
"Stop acting as if you're Sherlock freaking Holmes, you obviously already knew that"
He looked at me more seriously now, the smirk coming off of his lips and his eyes staring deeply and caringly into mine.
"Bella, just tell me what's bothering you. I've never judged you before, and I always help you with your problems, let me help you with this one too"
I let a short laugh out "trust me Edward, this isn't a problem you can help me out of"
"Try me"
I looked up at him; he had moved across the room and now sat on the ground in front of me, kneeling so his face was in perfect line with my own. His eyes stared into mine, breaking me down like they always do.
"Its embarrassing Edward, I don't know if I want to…"I trailed off, not wanting Edward to judge me for the way I felt.
"Look Bells, I'm not going to think any less of you, I'm just going to help you through it, it can't be that big a deal, and were best friends okay? Just tell me."
I looked into his eyes once again, turning 10 shades of red all over and looking away. He grabbed me by the chin and pointed my face back to his, locking his eyes with my own.
"Bella it's not as bad as you think it is, I can promise you that much"
"What if it is?"
"Its not"
"How would you know?"
"I just do" he said, still holding my chin with his firm grasp.
"Edward…"
"Bella."
It was silent for a few moments before I finally let out a breath of air, knowing as always he would get his way and id confess whatever was on my mind.
"I'm just frustrated, that's all okay?"
"Frustrated about what?" he asked, earnest and sincerely wanting to know.
"Just...things"
"What things"
"Things I …haven't gotten for a while"
"Okay...and you want these things?" he asked, looking slightly puzzled but willing to play my game and slowly ask indirect questions until he got it out of me, the way he always did.
"Terribly"
"How long have you wanted these things?"
"A while, but it's just gotten worse recently…"
"Do you know why?"
"Not really, I guess I just didn't really notice it as much until recently"
"Ahh, I see." He was silent, looking me straight in the eyes, breaking me down with his gaze, I wanted to look away, break the lock, but I knew it was pointless to attempt. I knew it was coming before he said it. "And what would these things be Bella?"
I felt the heat of my blush slowly heat my face.
"There's no need to be embarrassed with telling me anything Bella"
"I know"
"So… can you tell me about these things?"
"Just…physical things…" I turned my entire face away, completely embarrassed that he got such a personal thing out of me.
"do you mean sex Bella?" he asked, his voice didn't falter, he showed no sign of being shocked or put out by it, just like he was expressing the simplest of things.
"Well, yes, but not just that Edward, everything. I mean I miss everything about it you know? I miss feeling loved, being touched, stroked, felt. Getting and giving pleasure. Just the feeling of connection. You know?"
I looked up sheepishly, highly doubting Edward knew.
"Of course I do love! It's nothing to be ashamed about at all! I have those feelings very often. I haven't felt anything like that for a long time, you didn't have to be embarrassed about telling me something like that Bella, and these feelings are very natural.
"I know, but guys always are expected to want it, when I girl feels that way, it's as if, I don't know, everyone just assumes they're promiscuous." I couldn't believe I actually just used the word promiscuous in a sentence with Edward, which made me blush all over again.
Edward lay his cool hangs against my heated cheeks "Bella you are anything but promiscuous! I've never known a less promiscuous girl. You have feelings and of course you would crave physical affection. That's totally normal Bella, you don have to be embarrassed about feeling that way ever! Especially with me love. I know exactly how you feel Bella, you have no clue."
"You do?" I asked skeptically. "But...you never seem like it"
Edward chuckled at this. "I'm just good at covering my emotions, unlike you my dear".
I pouted and looked the other way. "Oh Bella it's nothing to be upset over! I've always been an extremely closed off person. I love that I can always read you. Its not like everybody can, I just have that connection with you. And I really like that I'm the only one that shares that connection with you Bells"
"Yeah me too" I said honestly "if everyone could read me like you can I think id have to kill myself"
"Hey now, that's hardly something to joke about!" he still let a small smile creep past his lips though.
It was comfortably silent for many minutes. Edward looked as if he was deep in thought and I didn't want to disturb him. I waited until he was done and he peered up at me, an odd look on his face. I might not be able to read Edward as easily as he could me, but I could tell there was something he wanted to ask me.
"What is it Edward?"
"I don't know. Its nothing Bella, it was just a though" he looked away, obviously dismissing the thought.
"Hey! You can't just do that! I told you what was on my mind; you have to tell me what's on yours Edward!"
"Look Bells, I don't know if it would upset you, and that's the last thing I would want to do, it was just a passing thought okay?"
"No Edward it's not okay, just tell me, it was obviously important or you wouldn't have thought it so just tell me okay?"
"Bella I'm not sure..."
"Just tell me!"
He looked up at me and saw how serious a was. He let out a short breath before speaking again.
"Okay look Bella; this is just a thought so you can't get mad at me okay?"
"Edward of course I wouldn't!"
"If you say so" he rolled his eyes. "Look I was just thinking and you know I always want to help you, be there for you in any way possible, right?"
"Of course Edward, I feel the same way about you!" I looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
"Okay, well obviously were both….frustrated with our...situations. So…what if…maybe…we tried to help each other out of our…well… frustrations…" he looked up at me nervous, as if he thought I was going to scream at him. I didn't get what he meant and let confusion slide across my features. Until his offer hit me like a ton of bricks and made me gasp as realization washed over my face.
"Wait, do you mean? I mean, are you saying you, and me…have…" I couldn't finish the sentence I was in such shock.
"Sex. Yes. It's only an offer Bella and I totally understand if you don't want to. I told you it was just a thought okay? Don't feel pressured; we can just forget it ever happened! It was stupid Bella I told you, you should have just ignored it in the first place—"I cut him off.
"Whoa hold on Edward, are you seriously offering this to me? Honestly. Would you want to?"
"Only if you did Bella!"
….."And if I did?"
"Then I would in a second"
I let the offer hang in the air for a few seconds, letting it register fully.
"But you'd want to? Not just for me Edward, would you want to?"
"As long as you did, yes, I would Bella"
It was completely quiet for a few minutes until my whispered response
"Okay"
Edward looked up in shock. "What?!"
"Let's do it Edward." I looked him straight in his eyes so he knew I was sincere.
"Bella, are you sure?" he looked me straight in my eyes, gauging my response.
"Positive."
I leant my head down to his ever so slowly, not believing this was actually happening. I looked him straight in the eyes the entire time I leant towards him, giving him the chance to back out. He looked me right back and didn't budge. Our faces got closer and closer until I was only a breath away from my lips touching his own. I waited, letting our warm breath coil together as the unasked question. Edward replied by leaning in the last bit and pressing his warm lips against my own. I moaned into his as our lips started dancing together, moving as one.
I was shocked that it felt so good, so right. I thought it would be weird, feel wrong kissing my best friend this way, but it was the complete opposite. For once I felt right. Completely right. I lowered myself off of the couch and slowly, keeping our lips joined, leaned on top of Edward, pressing our lips tighter together and slowly lowering both of our bodies to the ground, mine on top of his.
Edward gladly let me push ourselves down together; reveling in the feeling of our bodies pressed so close together. He broke the kiss for a split second and grabbed my face within both of his hands, connecting eyes with me again as we had so many times this night, but this time it was different, this time they not only held a question, but lust.
"You're sure?"
"Completely"
With that one word of reassurance Edward roughly grabbed my lips within his and licked at my lower lip, asking, no... Begging for entrance. I eagerly opened myself to him and moaned at the feeling of our tongues colliding and swirling within each others mouths. He tasted so perfect, masculine, like earth and amber all mixed into one. Perfect. Just like him.
He moved his hands from my face to my shoulders, and slowly rubbed them down my back before lightly cupping my ass and pulling my legs up towards him so that my core and his manhood were lined up. I could feel his arousal pressing harshly against my warmth through the fabric and moaned as the wetness that I had bottled up for so long seeped through my panties.
I ground myself harder against him, making our lips part at his harsh intake of breathe as his head arched back at the friction. He suddenly flipped us over so he was on top and stood up. I let out a squealed moan of disapproval at the loss of contact, but hardly had time to finish it before he had grabbed me and picked me up to him, kissing me roughly once again. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep me at his height and our closeness. He kept giving me heated kiss after kiss as he stumbled towards the bedroom.
I let out a gasp and he pressed me firmly up against the wall outside the door and released my lips, moving down and attacking my neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking until he reached my collar bone where he harshly bit me, making me gasp and arch into him at the mixture of pain and pleasure he shot through me by leaving his mark.
He kept sucking hard on my neck while I moaned into him as his fingers trailed down to the top button of my shirt and attempted to undo it. Becoming frustrated with the buttons he grabbed the top of my shirt and ripped, hard, making my entire shirt tear and buttons fling everywhere and clatter against the ground of our apartment like a shower of rain.
"EDWARD!" I screamed, shocked at his very un-Edward like act.
"What?!" He looked up at me, eyes glazed over in ecstasy.
"I liked that top…"
"Ill get you a new one" he brought his lips back to mine, being exactly what it took to shut me up and forget all about the stupid piece of fabric that was covering me moments before. I reached down and tugged at the bottom of Edwards shirt. He took the hint and parted our lips while I lifted the shirt up over his head, keeping me pinned to the wall with his hips. I gasped as I looked over his well defined chest. I always knew Edward was attractive, we were roommates, id seen him topless countless times before, but I never looked at him in this way. I didn't have much time to admire Edward in this new light as he wrapped his arms around me and grabbed my lips once again while he pulled me up off the wall and walked through the doorway, letting me fall onto the large bed in his room and climbing in on top of me.
He hovered over me, looking down. His copper locks falling over his hazy eyes. I brushed the hair out of his face and tangled my fingers into it as I brought his face back down to mine as we met in yet another passionate kiss. We both reveled in the kiss for a few moments before Edward trailed down my neck, leaving light butterfly kisses everywhere he passed, until he stopped at the small gap right between my breasts. He darted his tongue out and left a slick mark there and then moved to nip on the small crescent of breast that pooled out of the top of my bra. He slowly kneaded both of my breasts until I arched into him moaning, which he took as a hint and started to handle them more roughly. He kept on kneading my right breast while his free hand went around my back to unclasp my bra and pull it around, disposing it over the side of the bed.
I gasped at the feeling of the cold air on my nipples, feeling them growing taut to the change of temperature. This seemed to please Edward, and I heard him mumble a quiet 'beautiful' as he lowered his face to my left breast and lightly suckled my nipple. I screamed out at the unexpected sensation Edwards lips on my nipple sent through me and arched my entire torso into him. He kept lightly nipping at my breast while cupping the other with his free hand, turning the bud between his fingers. After a minute or so he switched breasts and continued on his exploration. By now I was completely aroused, and could feel the wetness seep from between my legs onto the sheets beneath me.
Edward continued his torture down my body. He left trail after trail of wet kisses down my abdomen, stopping at my navel to dart his tongue within it quickly, emitting another moan from me. He moved his lips lower and lower until he finally reached the waist of my jeans. He slowly undid the button and zipper, and slid the tight fabric down my milky thighs, leaving me only is my white panties that were now see-through from the wetness.
"Fuck Bella! You have no clue how beautiful you are!" his words brought a stutter to my ragged breathing as he once again trailed back up my stomach and enclosed my lips within his own. I moved my lips rhythmically with his and reached my hand down between us, cupping his length through his jeans and rubbing it in small firm circles. Edward broke our kiss and moaned into my neck loudly. I undid the button of his jeans and pushed them slightly down, pulling my legs up to capture them with my feet and push them off of his legs, leaving us both only in our underwear.
Edward took no time in reaching down and removing my thin panties as I took off his boxers, leaving nothing between us. I grasped his unclothed hardness, reveling in the sound of his deep guttural moan. I pumped him a few times, long and hard, amazed at how large he was in my hand. The whole time out lips moved together and our tongues swirled together in harmony. I could feel Edwards hands reach down and slowly stroke my thighs before stroking my slit in one long deep movement, stopping at my clit and working my bundle of sensitive nerves in small rough circles.
"Oh Edward fuck!" I screamed, arching myself hard into his hand when he moved his hands farther and slowly began pumping his fingers into me, first one, and then two, his pumps getting longer and harder as he went. I could feel myself tighten around him as the foreign tingling sensation was felt in my lower abdomen and my wetness soaked his hands. He took his fingers out and brought himself up to me, kissing me firmly and positioning himself at my throbbing entrance. For the last time that night he looked me in the eyes for reassurance. With a single nod I motioned that I wanted this as much as he did, and he thrust his length inside of my warmth in one swift movement.
Our moans were instantaneous and in harmony and he continued pumping himself in and out of me time after time. His pumps grew faster and more urgent the longer we kept this rhythm, me arching my hips to meet him every thrust and take all of him in. Both of our moans became louder and closer together as we both neared our climax. Our lips stayed pressed together as we met each others penetrations and Edward reached his hand between us to harshly rub my nub, sending me over the edge as the waves of my orgasm ripped through me and I arched myself into him screaming his name.
Seconds later I felt Edwards release coat the inside of me, warm and hot, dripping from me. We both fell onto the bed exhausted and completely satisfied. Breathing heavily, I turned myself to him and he wrapped his arms around me, cradling me into his chest. He breathed in the scent of my hair and sighed, laying a soft and silent kiss onto my head. I sighed and reveled in Edwards warmth, leaning myself deeper into his chest so that our bodies were molded together as one.
I reached my lips up to his ear, lightly kissing his jaw line before whispering "see, sighing doesn't always mean something's wrong Edward"
He chuckled lightly, the laugh vibrating through my heated body. "See Bella, letting someone help you when something's wrong isn't always a bad thing"
I smiled up at him, laying a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. "Yeah, ill make sure to remember that"
"Me too" he replied.
And then, Edward Cullen, my roommate of 5 years and closest friend ever since I moved to forks and broke through his hard exterior, cupped my chin, looked me straight in the eyes, and captured my lips in his own for the countless time that night.
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Hey guys, I hope this was decent at least cause I feel super bad for not updating my other story for this, but I'm hoping that maybe by writing a main stream Edward Bella fic more readers will discover me and hopefully read my other Leah/Jacob based story new realizations. I know most people find it a crazy pairing but I love em so just try it out, give them a chance, and I really hope you do like it as well as this one. Thanks for reading! I really hope you all review and let me know what you think, good or bad, because what's the point in writing if you don't even know how people feel about your work? It's hard to improve something or keep something going if no one tells you what should be done. So thanks a million, please review, even if its just to say like it love it meh its okay not great or I hate it, and wow that was a wholeeeeeeee lotta commas I just missed there. Love you all! Thanks a million! Forgive me for neglecting my other story but ill try to update this weekend! Love you all! 3 33 :D!!!
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