Summary: Where, after Sasuke defected, Sakura decided to change and be stronger because damn it all, she's a kunoichi. She deserved better and if Sasuke couldn't see that, then it's his loss. AU. SasuSaku.

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

I.

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy.

- Jason Mraz, A Beautiful Mess

Haruno Sakura bowed deeply in front of Senju Tsunade, the greatest medic-nin in the whole Elemental Nations and current Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure, uncaring of the whispers and judging stares from the people around them.

"Please train me, Tsunade-sama." Sakura pleaded fervently for the tenth time. "I needed to be better. Please."

"I already have an apprentice, girl." The blond kunoichi replied, gruff but not unkind. "It would be better if you apprentice yourself with other medic-nins. I told you I can't-"

"Please." She repeated, her voice a bit rough. Sakura determinedly ignored the lump on her throat. "I'll do anything Tsunade-sama. I- I don't want to get left behind again. I-"

"I already said I can't." Tsunade interrupted sharply, walking away without a second glance. "Excuse me, but I have other things that needed my attention." The kage shook her head in what seemed to be irritation. "Kami, I have no time for this."

Sakura fought the urge to cry and balled her hands into a fists. She- she couldn't give up now.

She'll do better next time.

"Why do you want to apprentice yourself to shishou so much, Sakura-san?" Kato Shizune, Tsunade's apprentice, asked exasperatedly. "It's been months already. There are other medic-nins who would be happy to have you-"

"It's not enough." Sakura muttered, her green eyes flashing stubbornly. Camped outside the Hokage's office in the hopes of getting an audience from Tsunade-sama, she knew she looked pathetic. She started out last week and eventually got used to the looks of pity shot her way. If Sakura had to plea in dogeza for a month, she would do it - pride be damned.

"Kakashi can train you-"

"He can't."

"Why not?"

"Sensei's broken." Sakura smiled bitterly, remembering the way Kakashi-sensei looked almost fragile when she saw him once. "I couldn't do that to him."

Shizune sighed. "Even if shishou's going to accept you as her apprentice, you wouldn't learn as much since-"

"It's okay." Sakura focused her gaze forward. Her legs were going numb. "I'm used to being ignored. I can get by as long as I have only a portion of her attention."

There was silence for a moment before Shizune continued softly. "Why are you doing this?"

Sakura shot the older woman a wry look. "It's for myself. I have always been a burden - to Naruto, to Kakashi-sensei, to Sasu-" She faltered. "I don't have anything going on for me and even though I tried so hard to catch up, I- I'm still weak. A liability. I couldn't let this continue to the point that I would eventually get someone killed for my mistakes and flaws."

She brushed off a wayward tear that traitorously fell down her cheeks and just nodded when Shizune left after patting her shoulder gently.

"Forehead." Yamanaka Ino, her best-friend, asked, voice uncharacteristically soft. "How long had it been since you slept?"

"I don't know." Sakura replied absentmindedly, trying to scrounge up the will to finish reading one of the books assigned to her by Tsunade-shishou. "It can wait. I'm almost finished anyway."

The blue-eyed girl sighed. "It's important to get some rest, Sakura." Ino gestured towards Sakura's face. "You look like shit."

Sakura smiled at Ino fondly. "I know. It's okay. Don't worry."

"You don't have to punish yourself, you know." Ino brushed a wayward curl to Sakura's ear. "It's not your fault."

"I- I'm not."

Ino scoffed. "Could have fooled me. You're training with Gai-sensei. Gai-sensei, I tell you, while doing this thing with Tsunade-sama. It's insane."

"I needed to do-"

"To do what, Sakura?" Ino argued. "You're getting stronger. It's enough. It should be enough. You don't have-"

Sakura closed her eyes. "I have to. I have to do it because damn it, I made Naruto promise something he shouldn't be forced to and he almost died. My team's in shambles and I'm weak. Still so weak-"

"Sakura." Ino said seriously, her hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Sakura- stop. Listen to me, okay. You're strong. You're doing your best. It's okay to get some rest sometimes and please, don't blame your-"

"I-" Her voice cracked. "I don't want to get left behind, Ino."

Ino softened. "You're not-"

"I am." Sakura laughed, the hollow sound ringing around the room acerbically. "You don't have to lie. I- I was so naive." She took a deep breath. "I tried my best at the academy too, you know. I thought that if I read enough, did my best in academics enough, I could offset my weaknesses and surpass even those with clans but-"

"You did-"

"I didn't." Sakura interrupted sharply, tears falling despite her valiant efforts to do otherwise. "I didn't because I was delusional and I'm not- I'm not enough."

Ino was silent, rubbing Sakura's back in comfort. "You're wrong, Sakura." The Yamanaka sighed. "When did you get this stubborn? Come on. Get some sleep. You're shopping with me tomorrow whether you like or not."

Sakura blocked the kick from Maito Gai - a well-known jounin taijutsu master, consciously reinforcing her muscles with chakra. She smoothly countered with a punch and ducked the sweeping kick that followed after.

"Better." Gai boomed out enthusiastically as he flew a few steps backward from the hit. "You're getting better, Sakura. The springtime of youth was definitely in you today."

Sakura smiled brightly. "Thank you, Gai-sensei." She made the seal of reconciliation. "I really appreciate the spar."

"Yosh!" Rock Lee, Gai's student who also specializes in taijutsu, announced from behind. He was watching the fight from the start and was suitably impressed by Sakura's progress. "Let's spar together too, Sakura-chan."

"Sure, Lee." She beamed. "I-"

"Yo." A familiar voice interrupted drolly, holding Sakura by the collar like a mischievous cat. "Can I borrow my student for a moment Gai?"

Gai's gaze sharpened before he smiled at Hatake Kakashi, her sensei, in understanding. "Of course." He boomed out. "Lee, spar with me instead."

Sakura let herself be hefted towards the training grounds, curious about what the older man wanted with her.

"Sensei." She warned after a few minutes of silence. Kakashi had his Icha-Icha in front of his face again, and as much as she valiantly tried to keep her cool, her patience was shot. "If you're just going to flash that disgusting book in front of me, I'm going to tear it to shreds."

Glancing at her slowly, Kakashi eye-smiled in amusement. "So mean, Sakura-chan. What happened to my cute little genin?"

"I grew up." Sakura snarked. "You should do that too, sensei."

Her teacher shook his head in mock-regret. "How time passed by. You should learn how to relax from time to time to Sakura-chan."

"Pot calling the kettle black, sensei." She huffed. "Did Ino put you up to this?"

Kakashi hummed. "I don't what you're talking about."

"I'm a medic. I know how to take care of myself."

He looked at her doubtfully, raising his one visible brow in a surprisingly expressive manner.

Sakura ignored the sarcasm and continued. "Can you help me with my nature transformation then, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hm." Kakashi closed his book with a snap. Sakura was about to deflate when he looked at her fondly. "I suppose I can for my favorite student."

"Cha, sensei. Don't lie."

"I'm not." Kakashi insisted lazily.

Sakura rolled her eyes and smiled wryly. "When do we start?"