I sighed as I leaned against the elevator wall. It was too cold in here, but I hadn't thought to bring a jacket. The entire hospital was too cold. Maybe that was just to keep everything clean. I really didn't care. I didn't care because I didn't want to be here, and I was going to make sure my aunt knew it.
"Don't be like this, Lily," Aunt Hermione said, giving me a stern look. I folded my arms, not changing my mind. I had decided years ago, when I realized my mum wasn't getting any better, that I didn't like coming to St. Mungo's Aunt Hermione still insisted on visiting when I was off from school, saying that "She needs to know we remember her." I doubted my mum even knew who we were, let alone that we remembered her, but I didn't say anything to Hermione. She didn't like to be wrong, and it was easier to just agree.
When the elevator reached the Psychiatry Ward , Hermione, the Healer who treated my mother, and I stepped out. It was empty, as usual. I followed my aunt slowly to the end of the long hall. We stopped outside the last door, and Aunt Hermione pointedly sat down on the chair across from the door. I glared at her.
"I'm not going," I argued. "If I do, I'm going to say one word, and she's going to sit there staring at the blanket. Like always. " Aunt Hermione closed her eyes, then shook her head.
"Lily, this is good for her. We can't ignore your mother. Then she'll never get better. Now, you are going to go in there, and talk to your mum. Go," She ordered. I groaned, but reluctantly opened the door and walked in.
There were two white chairs in the far corner, and I went quickly to them, ignoring the woman sitting on the bed. When I sat down, I folded my arms stubbornly. I glanced at my mother, to see if I had any effect on her at all. Nothing. She hadn't reacted to anything in almost ten years.
I was six when mum had first been put into the Psychiatric Ward at St. Mungo's. It had been the very night my dad had died. She had been there, and started screaming and cursing as soon as the Healers pronounced him dead. I had been taken away, and sent to live with my Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. I'd been with them ever since, and was fairly happy with it.
Mum was still staring at the blue blanket, her hands folded up in her lap. Hair fell in front of her face. She looked almost the perfect picture of someone locked up in some kind of mental institution. I tried looked everywhere but her, gazing at the all white walls.
I pulled my legs up onto the chair. As long as I was here, I should get to be comfortable. "Hi, mum," I said softly. I might as well try, even though it would do no good. "It's me. Lily. Um… It's the summer holiday, so Aunt Hermione said I had to come see you. I've been doing okay, I guess. I just finished up fifth year, so O.W.L.'s are out of the way. " I glimpsed her way again. She hadn't moved at all.
Suddenly, I was angry. This was absolutely ridiculous. All the anger I had kept inside, that had lately had just been waiting to spill over, came out. I stood up, and glowered at her. "What's wrong with you? Why can't you just get over it? The rest of us have! He died ten years ago, mum! Ten years! " I was
starting to yell now, and I knew any minute the Healer would come in and pull me out, incase she tried to do something dramatic. Mom didn't respond well to yells. "He's gone!And he's not going to come back just because you can't move on." I stormed away from her, tired of having to deal with mum's issues, tired of trying to get through to her. I couldn't take it anymore.
The Healer must have heard me, for he had been reaching for the door knob as soon as I came out. I ignored his reprimands and walked back towards the elevator.
"I'll be in the cafeteria." I called over my shoulder. I heard Hermione say something exasperatedly to the Healer, but ignored it. I quickly rushed into the elevator. I pressed the ground floor button, then pressed my back to the wall. I ran a shaky hand through my red hair. Guilt was seeping through me. I couldn't believe I had just said those evil things. I was a horrible daughter.
But she's been a horrible mother, a small voice in the back of my head whispered. That was no excuse for the words I had yelled What has she done for you? It continued. Nothing except keep you up at night, too afraid to sleep. I shook off these thoughts. That wasn't fair to my mother.
The elevator ding-ed, and I stood up. A few nurses walked in, and I pushed past them. I made my way through the hospital expertly. I probably new the place better than a few of the younger Healers.
The cafeteria had the worst food imaginable, but it was quiet, which I needed now. After quickly getting a small cup of coffee that I knew I wouldn't drink, I sat down at a table in the far back. Thoughts swirled in and out of my head, none of them really making any sense. I wished everything could go back to when I was younger. When mom wasn't crazy, and didn't try to kill people who weren't there. I wanted somebody to hug me and tell me it would be alright, that mum would get better, despite what all the Healers said.
You always did regret your temper, I thought, stirring slow, small circles with my spoon. My anger had gotten me in more than enough trouble over the years. It was infamous around my family, who knew to watch what they said about certain things. Like my mother.
Why does everything come back to her? I thought fiercely. My stirring speed increased. Maybe I was just on edge. Maybe everything was being blown out of proportion, because of O.W.L results. I was anxious. Growing up with Hermione it was hard not to take schooling kind of seriously.
I sighed and closed my eyes. My head was starting to ache from all of this. I rubbed my temples, and stood to throw away my drink, when I saw something that made my heart speed up. A group of three Healers was rushing towards the elevator. I recognized two of them as the men who often analyzed mum. My eyes widened.
Oh no.
A/N: Yeah, I know. This is WAY diffrent than any of the other things I'vedone. It's going to be completly AU, as you can see from the summary.I hope to get the next chapter up within the next few days. Well, I guess that's it. Remember to review!