«...I need some time».
«Sure, it's ok, Ran» his tone was resigned, though strangely calm.
He probably thought – no, he'd be sure – she would eventually forgive him. Everyone thought so.
She thought so herself, to be honest.
Ran really cared for Shinichi, she loved him like few do. She trusted him completely.
That was why when she had found out the truth, when all his lies he told her for months went to the light, her pain was tremendous.
Her world went in pieces. Shinichi, whose honesty was one of her few certainties, had lied to her. Repeatedly.
"He wanted to protect her", she knew.
But she didn't want to be protected.
Heiji, a guy Shinichi didn't even know before he shrunk, knew the truth. He found out on his own, alright, but Shinichi had confirmed.
She had known too, that little Conan was in reality her childhood friend. She had told him her theory, but he denied by every mean - Ran let it go not because shrinking was unlikely, but because she trusted Shinichi. He could not lie to her, not this way, not all that time long. He couldn't do that knowing how much that made her suffer, right?
He did though. There were multiple chances, but he never confessed. Not to her, his best friend since their childhood.
He told Heiji, he told Ai, whoever she was – he wasn't crystal clear about that -, he told doctor Agasa, his parents, he involved in his lies almost everyone Ran trusted – but didn't tell her.
Shinichi said he loved her, but love shouldn't know lies.
When finally, after almost two years since their fateful date at Tropical Land, he came back – this time to stay – and told her everything, she felt overwhelmed.
She felt relief. Then, she couldn't help it, disappointment came.
She didn't cry. She stayed frozen, shaken by conflicting thoughts and emotions.
She didn't know what she was feeling herself. In the end all she could say was she needed time.
She wanted to ponder, to digest all those so important, so painful news.
She believed disappointment would vanish, after a bit of time.
But you can't stop time, it keeps running and compels us to go with him, even when we'd want it less.
For weeks after his return, Ran didn't meet Shinichi once. It was good, the anger for his lies slowly started to fade. Disappointment, though, was another matter; it's hard to gain back lost trust.
She went out with Sonoko, with her Karate group, sometimes even with Sera – she hadn't been completely sincere too, but Masumi wasn't her long-time best friend, Ran could understand her -.
After a few weeks, she met another person too.
He had vanished for more than a year, too. Also his behaviour, now that she thought about it, had some mysterious traits.
Ran found Eisuke deeply changed. He was much less clumsy, but there was something more, something in his behaviour... She didn't understand what it was at first.
Maybe that was why she'd see him often: to find out how he'd changed.
Eisuke gave her a big smile and lowered his glass.
«Now, did you get it?»
Ran, on the point to taste her rice, frozewith her chopsticks mid-air. «Get what?» she asked.
The boy laughed. «Come on, Ran, since I came back to Japan you're scanning me like I'm an alien or something. You find me different, don't you?»
Ran's cheeks became tomatoes. She didn't think her purpose was so clear. Fixing her glare on the bowl in front of her, she nodded.
«When I met you I didn't think of myself as free» Eisuke said. «I came here to find my sister, maybe you remember that. Anyway, I had a purpose that was everything to me. I couldn't think of anything else, do you get me?»
Ran, back to a more normal complexion, nodded serious. She didn't expect Eisuke to open up like that, but it certainly didn't displease her. She remembered now how sometimes she'd think he had his head somewhere else, but she'd thought that was part of him, not something caused by an overwhelming issue.
«I got rido f that weight shortly before leaving» Eisuke went on. He took the glass up again and moved it slowly but steadily, watching the fluid inside swirling kind of mesmerized. «That was when I started caring more to what, to whom, I had around. To care more about you, Ran».
Surprised by that last period, Ran looked for the boy's eyes. He was still glaring at the glass.
She found him... beautiful. Had he always been that way?
«I wanted to ask you to come with me to the States».
He said that so quickly that it took Ran a moment to get it. «Me? Why?»
Eisuke slightly blushed. The months spent in the States had changed him, made him more confident. But he still hadn't ever confessed to the girl he had a crush on. When he'd feel down in that foreign and different land, it was Ran's thought what gave him the strenght to keep going. Ascertained that Shinichi liked Ran too, he'd stepped back. It seemed natural. That was the right thing to do… wasn't it?
According to his american friends, it wasn't at all.
Why should he have to step back? Ran wasn't a thing, she wasn't owned by the first who saw her.
Shinichi hadn't even confessed to her. What right could he have on her?
Not mentioning he'd hurt her for months. In spite of being absorbed by Reina Mizunashi's issue, even Eisuke had noticed. Shinichi's distance made Ran suffer awfully, and maybe that was the truest reason why he'd give up that easily. Ran wouldn't choose him over the Eastern Detective. Was he afraid of confrontation so he hid behind an alleged fairness?
He couldn't say, but he didn't care.
Now he was back, and he had no intention of waiting. Shinichi had his own chance, if he hadn't catch it that was certainly not his fault.
He emptied his glass in one sip.
Ran watched him waiting.
«You find me different because nothing restrains me anymore. I'll be honest»
«You're kind, Ran. You reminded me of my sister at once; kind, but strong too» he said.
He gathered some nerve and found her eyes. «I liked you straightaway, and the more I knew you, the more my feelings grew».
That so direct assertion was followed by utter silence.
That was the last thing Ran was expecting, but she realized she wasn't embarrassed. If anything, she was happy.
It was totally different from what she'd felt in London, when Shinichi confessed to her. She'd been very happy that time too, probably more than now.
But that was the past.
She would always love Shinichi a lot, but not that way, not anymore. Things couldn't go back to what they used to be, and she didn't even want them to, she realized.
What had happened between them had changed her. It had been an aching experience, but it helped her growing up. She was pleased with who she'd become.
Eisuke was news. Someone to discover.
She took in she was happy he liked her, she liked him a bit, too.
She didn't know if that feeling would last, didn't know if they could build a relationship. Maybe getting to know each other better they'd find out they were wrong, they didn't really know anything about the other.
Or maybe not.
She couldn't know, until she tried.
She heartening smiled.
«Why did you go without saying anything?» it wasn't a charge. She was genuinely curious.
Eisuke shook his shoulders. Everyone he'd tell about his crush asked him that very question. He really had been stupid.
«I wonder that too» he answered, elusory.
He couldn't say it was Shinichi's fault, in the end he'd made the wrong choice.
«When these holidays are off I'm going back to the States, Ran. My dream is to enter C.I.A.» he paused to give her time to take the news in.
«Will you come with me?»
Third time that night, Ran was shocked.
She seriously considered that proposal.
She had graduated a month before; she could continue her studies abroad, that wouldn't be a problem. She was sure her mother would approve her decision and would help her make it real.
She could also find a job to help with the expenses.
Going away would mean seeing much less her father, her mother, Sonoko and all her other friends. Still it also meant to become more independent.
Lately things between Kogoro and Eri had improved a lot; perchance her departure would speed things up and her mother would go back to her husband's house, Ran couldn't help but hope.
She thought about Shinichi.
She wasn't angry at him, not anymore. She wanted to see him and clear things up once for all.
She saw Eisuke playing with the chopsticks. That unstudied gesture made her smile.
She saw she had already decided.
She'd spent two years waiting just to come out of them greatly disappointed; this time she wasn't going to wait, she'd dive in headfirst.
«Yes»
Eisuke nearly risked to overthrow his bowl. He clicked up straight, his elbow hit the table.
It hurts... I'm not dreaming then. Is that possible?
He found Ran's smiling glare – some of Eisuke's features would never change – and he knew it was all true.
Ran was living him a chance.
«I'm not going to make you sorry, Ran».