Just Wanted to Say I'm Sorry
By Lady Seto Kaiba
Lightning flashed outside. Seto Kaiba sat at the desk in his office, working on the computer.
Mokuba was right outside the door of his brother's office, watching television. Pretending to watch the television, at least. There was nothing good on. Besides, he was too occupied with his own issues. It seemed like Seto never had time for him. Not only that, but it seemed like his beloved big brother was mad at him.
The younger Kaiba brother sighed and tossed the remote aside. He stood up and slipped timidly to the doorway of Seto's office.
"Seto?" Mokuba asked quietly, unsure of what his brother would say.
"Hm?" Seto answered sleepily, stretching and rubbing his eyes.
Mokuba let out a mental breath, which seemed to have been held for hours. He spoke, more assured than before.
"Are you going to bed soon?"
"Probably not. I have work to do, Mokuba."
Mokuba flinched. "Well…good night then."
Seto grunted, and Mokuba trudged up the stairs to his room. He climbed into bed and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
He woke up in the middle of the night and looked around in the darkness, eyes still blurry from sleep.
He heard an angry voice coming from down the hall. It was Seto's voice.
"…don't care if you can't get it to work!" he was saying. There was a pause, and then he continued. "You're obviously not trying hard enough."
Mokuba fell back against his many pillows. Seto hadn't gone to bed yet? It was nearly two in the morning.
Seto spoke again, sounding a little calmer now. "Fine. Two more days and that's it." He hung up with a clank.
Mokuba shuddered. Then something happened. Not to Mokuba, but it affected him deeply.
From down the hall, Mokuba heard his brother draw in a shaky breath and let it out in a soft sob.
The younger of the two gulped. Was Seto crying? It was too surreal.
Mokuba leapt out of bed and rushed down the hallway. He stopped in the doorway and swallowed at the sight. Seto was bent over his desk with a shiny silver blade in his hand. He held it over his forearm, and slowly lowered it. Mokuba winced and shut his eyes.
Seto whirled around at Mokuba's audible cringe.
"Mokuba?" he said softly, the sapphire eyes brimming with tears.
Mokuba opened his eyes. "Please don't," he begged.
Seto swallowed and held out his scarred arms. Mokuba stared at them for a moment then ran into them and held on for what seemed like hours.
"I'm sorry, Seto…I didn't mean…"
"I'd rather you didn't see what I was doing…but…I guess you'd find out eventually."
Mokuba nodded, unable to speak.
"I…Mokuba, just bear with me…lately I've been having flashbacks…it's been too much to handle…" Seto whispered into Mokuba's head.
"Maybe it's because I haven't been getting enough sleep, but I don't know. When I do sleep, I get nightmares. When I wake up, everything just seems too real."
Mokuba felt almost uneasy at how bluntly his big brother was putting his feelings and what was going on. Still, it was good to know. Finally, he found his voice.
"I'm here, Seto. I'm not going anywhere. Just don't hurt yourself."
Seto paused. "I'm afraid it's not that easy, Mokuba."
"What? Why?" asked Mokuba.
"Well…I'll save that story for another time. For now, go to bed."
"No, I can't sleep with worrying about you hurting yourself!" Mokuba declared.
Seto knew he couldn't blame Mokuba, but still…
"Okay," sighed Seto, "why don't you stay with me tonight?"
Mokuba pulled away from his big brother, nodding.
They crawled into bed and Mokuba snuggled next to his brother. As his little brother fell asleep, Kaiba lay awake, thinking about everything that they'd gone through together, thinking about every bad thing that had happened to them, from the orphanage to losing their souls.