Hi!
Disclaimer: Do I live in England? No. That should be all you need to know.
Clo is Harry, Rhiannon is Eddie
Mr Edward Anthony Mason Cullen,
The Cottage Beside The Cullen House,
Forks Washington.
I have the great pleasure to inform you. YOU SUCK DRAGON TOES. I was all happy with my girlfriend and all my other friends and all we would to is hang out, go to class and get in trouble. You know, just simple stuff like breaking through full grown wizards enchantments and going into mythical chambers. Helping escaped crimals who are really free make their get-away, going into the Tri-wizard tournament, facing Voldemort, And finaly sneaking into the Ministry Of Magic's most protected department. Normal stuff!
Then you happened.
We were in Hogsmead and BAM the new "Muggle Book of the Decade" just HAD to come! I mean I just wanted some Wet-start Fireworks from Zonko's and some Ice Mice from Honeydukes. Hermione and Ginny just HAD to see what the commotion was at the bookstore so we went, they bought Twilight and they started to read in The Three Broomsticks.
It all went downhill from there.
They started talking in metaphors. Like "OH EMM CEE! SHE HAS BELLA'S HAIR!" and "Oh my Edward, I want someone like Jasper!" and it gets pretty annoying! They kept talking about a certain Edward Cullen so I decided to mail you. So here we go with the main part of this letter. We hate you. The we being me and Ron
EDWARD CULLEN I WANT YOU TO GO INTO A CORNER AND DIE
Sincerely Harry James Potter,
Gryffindor Tower,
Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry