AN – Hey guys!
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and a great New Year last night. I'm knackered.
I'm so sorry this isn't an update to NSN, KTR or TAM. Or the sequel to HHAB, which I'm still working on, or the one shot I've been putting off which Kristen wants me to finish (sorry hun!), but this idea kind of came to me, and it fit in with the time of year and such. So I typed it.
I wanted to post this yesterday but life got in the way, as it tends to...
Thanks go to Anissa and Kristen who both read through this and made me want to actually finish it instead of leaving it as yet another unfinished document on my laptop...
I hope you guys like it.
I'll talk more at the bottom…
New Year, New Start
Haley could feel this pair of eyes on her and even though she was doing her best to pay no attention to them, she simply couldn't ignore the fact that her skin felt like it was burning intently under the scorching heat coming from this stare. She felt a slight shiver run up her spine as she clung on to the glass of champagne she held in her hands and inconspicuously turned herself around on the spot so that she could try to find the person these eyes belonged to. However, as she turned, she was only met with a sea of masks, hiding the identity of whoever lay underneath their disguise.
It was fairly unnerving but she brushed off the feeling that she was being watched and resolved to simply enjoy herself. It was her first night out after all the turmoil she had been through during the past four months and she desperately wanted to prove to herself that she could do this. That she didn't need him. It was the Taurus in her, once pushed too far she was stubborn and unyielding to the very end. And her decision had been made. She'd said those damn words and she had meant them.
However, despite her intention to ignore the stare, the eyes were now burning holes in her skin and the fact that she couldn't find who they belonged to was starting to irritate her immensely, especially as they felt familiar, knowing, like they could see all of her. She felt like they could see through the material of her dress and into the depths of her soul. She'd only ever let one person get that close to her.
She banished that strange feeling from her mind though, because after all, she and Nathan had already argued about the fact that he wasn't going to be here this evening. It was the only way they seemed able to communicate with each other nowadays. But deep down, underneath all the fury and charged emotions which currently surrounded her relationship with him, she knew that his were the only eyes she wanted to be trained on her so intently, so it didn't matter who was staring at her really because she wouldn't act on it, would she?
She sighed and shook her head at herself, mentally scolding herself for thinking in such a way. Why shouldn't she act on anything? If someone wanted to flirt a little with her, shouldn't she be able to flirt back without being consumed with feelings of guilt? She was a free woman at the moment; she had no ties to anybody.
But then she looked down at her left hand and played with the wedding band which she still wore on her finger. Why did she still feel like he had a hold on her when she'd all but convinced herself that there was no way for them to salvage what was left? If she was being really honest with herself, there wasn't anything left to salvage anyway, was there?
Everything was so confusing at the moment. Her relationship with Nathan had disintegrated so much so that she wasn't even speaking to him at the moment. He had been everything to Haley, and not talking to him on a daily basis had been the hardest thing she'd ever done in her entire life. He was her best friend, her lover, her husband, but he'd driven her to the point where he couldn't be any of those things to her anymore. As far as she was concerned, he had betrayed every promise he had ever made to her.
And the problem was, despite how stubborn she was, she also knew how easy it would be for him to fix this. Maybe that was why she still wore her wedding band; she wasn't ready to give up on him completely.
However, she also knew that tonight, being New Year's Eve, held some kind of symbolic meaning. In her head she'd given him to the end of the night, and once that clock struck twelve, it would be time for her to leave the past in the past and concentrate on her future. She was rather mournful about this though, because she knew she'd be saying goodbye to the one person she had given everything to, the one person she thought she'd be with forever, and the one person she'd ever loved. But it was simply time.
Nathan, to Haley, had been literally everything she could ever want in a man. He was smart, funny, self-assured, confident and had the kind of smirk that made you want to instantly drop you panties and beg him to just take you, any way he wanted. She was sure his smirk held some kind of magical power, because the pool of desire she found herself drowning in whenever he used it on her was far too forceful to be anything normal.
But he hadn't used his smirk on her in a long time.
They hadn't been happy together in a long time.
"Haley, are you okay?"
Brooke interrupted her musings and Haley took a deep breath, blinked back the sorrowful tears which had sprung up in her eyes and smiled over at her friend, mustering all of the strength she had inside of herself to stop herself from breaking down completely. "I'm fine."
Nathan couldn't keep his damn eyes off her. He continuously told himself that he shouldn't be here, not after she spat those hurtful words at him. She'd broken his heart; she'd given up on him. Why should he be the one to make everything right?
But the last few months had been the most awful months of his life. He wasn't right without her, his life was incomplete; he was missing this huge part of himself, a part that belonged to her.
He was here because he needed her; he needed her to mend him, to make him whole.
As soon as he'd walked into the crowded ballroom, his eyes began to seek her out, and by some unexplained force, one that was still as strong as ever even after all these years, his eyes instantly found her, standing to the left of the vast room surrounded by her friends.
He didn't need her to turn around to confirm that it was indeed Haley because he simply knew it was her. His body reacted in exactly the same way it had twelve years ago when they had first met as teenagers. Who else would make his heart race so frantically? Who else would make something as simple as breathing feel unnatural? And who else would cause him to break out in such a sweat?
There was only one person who did all that and more to him.
There was only one Haley.
He unconsciously licked his lips, continuing to gaze at her and watched as she shivered slightly. The action caused his lips to curl up a little at the possibility of what that action of hers could mean. Could she still feel him the same way he still felt her? Could she still feel this energy which seemed to flow between them as vigorously as he still could, even after the war they had fought with each other? His eyes travelled slowly up her exposed back due to the low dip of her turquoise dress and his eyes feasted on her skin. His fingers inched to touch her, to feel her again. It was in that moment he realised that it really had been too long.
However, when she began to turn around, he sunk further away into the crowd, keeping his eyes completely focussed on her though, of course. She was searching for him, he was sure of it, and despite the fact that he knew he shouldn't, he couldn't help the surge of joy which overtook his entire body, making him feel as if he were actually floating.
Haley could still feel it, she could still feel those eyes and it was starting to concern her because the only person who affected her like this was Nathan. "Brooke, are you sure Nathan isn't coming?" she asked distractedly as she searched around again, trying desperately to seek the person behind the eyes. She was incredibly confused by the excitement which was creeping its way through her veins, and at the fact that she wanted the person behind the eyes to be Nathan, because she shouldn't be feeling like that.
"No, he's in Australia for New Year; I thought he already told you? Wasn't that part of the deal breaker?" Brooke asked and then yanked on Haley's arm so that she pulled her back around to face her. "And I thought you had decided that things were officially over between the two of you?"
Haley couldn't help the fact that her eyes began to roll skywards. "I know I did. I have," she amended quickly.
It was Brooke's turn to roll her eyes. "Haley, what are you doing?" she asked in an exasperated tone and then pulled Haley in closer to her so she could look her right in the eyes, making her unable to use the mask she was wearing as a shield for her emotions. "I thought this was what you wanted? You made up your mind, what was it you said? You were tired of being stagnant, of being trapped in a relationship with no feelings, no communication...?"
"Alright, alright, Brooke, I know what I said," Haley hissed irritably as she tried to shake her arm free from Brooke's grasp. She really didn't need a running commentary of her arguments with Nathan because she replayed them in her head constantly anyway.
"Are you sure you meant it though?" Brooke asked with a raised and challenging eyebrow and then quickly shut up and changed her demeanour instantly as she saw the conflict in Haley's eyes. "I'm sorry, Haley, I know this is really difficult for you, it's just… I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you."
Haley hated that. She hated knowing that she was causing concern for anyone; she had enough of it to deal with on her own, without anyone else worrying for her too. "Well, Brooke, you really don't need to worry about me, no one does," she returned and was grateful when she saw Brooke nod gravely, it seemed she had actually got through to her this time. She took the last gulp of her champagne, eager to steer the subject of conversation away from the depressing reality of her marriage and then readjusted her turquoise mask, which matched the dress she had on for this evening. "I think we need more alcohol."
"I think you're right," Brooke beamed back at Haley as she too finished off her drink and then followed Haley through the sea of people towards the bar.
Ensuring that his mask was firmly in place, Nathan set about following Haley around the party. He always kept a distance and so far they had been to the bar, back out to the main dance floor, back to the edges of the room where she had been chatting to some girls he should probably recognise but didn't and they were now just walking away from the bar again. Occasionally, she'd stop in her tracks and glance around and he'd make sure that she didn't catch his eye, because he honestly didn't know how she would react to him being here.
As much as he wanted to believe that she wanted him here, and as much as he thought he was reading her reactions in the right way, he was well aware that it could simply be a case of him seeing what he wanted to see. He was extremely cautious of the fact that his eyes could be playing incredibly cruel tricks on him, getting his hopes up when he had seriously thought they had driven each other to the point of no return. And maybe they were still there; stuck in that rut with no way out, save for both of them going their separate ways.
But he hoped with all his might that they weren't.
Because simply being near her again, after all the hatred that had consumed their relationship these past couple of months, he was beginning to appreciate her in a completely new light. The sight of her still made his heart flutter and the way she chewed nervously on her bottom lip still made him want her in a way that was feral and wild.
He continued to watch her as Brooke led her over to Lucas and simultaneously to a circle of men. He watched as she nervously stood to the sides, sipping on her glass of champagne and when she reached up and fiddled with her hair, which was swept up in an elegant twist, his heart constricted, because that was their secret code. That was what she did when she was uncomfortable and wanted him near her.
But instead of allowing his feet to walk over to her, as he would have done months ago, he rooted himself to the spot. Because he still didn't know if he should do anything. Did he have a right to swoop in and save her? When she'd said what she had, didn't that instantly strip him of any duty or responsibility towards her?
He wished someone could give him a script to follow, because he had no idea how the hell he should behave. His body wanted her, but his head was stopping him from doing anything about it. It was casting doubt over everything he was feeling, whispering words of doom, quenching any desire and lust, love, even, which was rising inside of him.
She said she didn't want him. She said it was over. She said she was tired. She said she'd had enough. She said he wasn't the person he was when they first met, that he didn't pay her any attention, that he was no longer in love with her, that he no longer wanted her. And all he had done was argue back at her, telling her that he was tired too. Telling her that he was doing everything he could to get them to where they wanted to be, to give them the life they had dreamed about. Wasn't that enough?
But she was right. It had taken one hell of an argument, some extremely harsh words and a few months of brooding for him to realise it, but she was right. He had been ignoring her. Things weren't like they used to be. He'd become complacent, expectant and unappreciative of what they had, of who he had in his life.
He just didn't know how to fix it, or if there was anything left to be fixed, because it felt like everything they'd shared had been obliterated into dust, leaving nothing but a big hole in its wake.
Haley had never felt more uncomfortable in her life, being surrounded by men who wanted to speak to her, but whom she didn't want to say a word to. She wasn't used to this feeling, because when she'd been in situations like this before, Nathan had always been around to save her. But she needed to come to the realisation that he couldn't always be there, and also she needed to accept her decision and get on with the rest of her life. However, she still couldn't help the fact that her hand unconsciously rose to fiddle with her hair, and as soon as she realised what she was doing, she lowered her hand and took a deep breath, excusing herself from the group of people she was standing with because she really needed some time to think, alone. She walked away from them and wandered towards the bar, gulping down the rest of her drink along the way.
Nathan looked up from where he had been musing and frowned when Haley was no longer in front of him. He panicked and turned around on the spot, desperately trying to find her but instead he was met with masks staring back at him, none of them the turquoise colour which Haley had been wearing. He could feel himself getting dizzy, the masks leering at him as if they were mocking him, and in a way he was glad of that feeling, because he deserved it, he'd let the only good thing that had ever happened to him slip right through his fingers.
Haley reached the bar and ordered herself some water, not wanting to spend the night drunk and wallowing in self pity, which was the road she was headed down if she continued to drink any more of that champagne without giving her body a break. She slumped herself down on the stool and rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes in the hope that she could block it all out.
But she couldn't.
She'd been living in a state of complete denial, telling herself that New Years and the time limit she'd given herself to rescue their relationship was ages away, that she still had time. Yet now she found that she was completely out of time. And she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to be.
She gulped down the water the barman had placed beside her and once the glass had been put back on the bar she continued to fiddle with her wedding band. It was one of her habits and she wasn't sure what she'd do when she no longer wore it on her finger. She wasn't sure if she liked the idea that she'd have to take it off tomorrow, if she were to stick to her original plan.
She frowned into space as she idly continued to spin the band around her finger. Had she really been fair, to place all the blame she felt on Nathan? Had she given this relationship all that she could give it herself in the last six months or so? She disliked the fact that the answer to that question was a no, because it was easier to blame Nathan for all of this. But if she looked hard at herself, she knew she was to blame too.
She was finally having her light bulb moment.
She'd allowed them to slip into this routine where they hardly saw each other. They barely talked to each other, let alone touched each other when they were together because there was always an excuse. The washing needed doing, or she needed to call someone back, she needed to head to the bank, to pay some bills, to wash up, clean, vacuum, do the ironing… the list was endless.
And with Nathan travelling so much with work, she'd kind of got used to not having him around. The peace and quiet, the ability to act selfishly, to do as she pleased was something she had grown accustomed to, and she hated the fact that she had. And when he did call while he was away, which lately had been most of the time, the conversation they shared was polite, both enquiring about each other's days but never talking as intimately as they used to. Sharing feelings, opinions and thoughts wasn't something they had done in a long time.
She hated to dissect her relationship with Nathan because she realised that it wasn't perfect, it never had been but things were much worse now than they had been previously. However, simply because things weren't as good as they used to be, was that really a reason to give up completely?
Shouldn't she have told him how much she hated being left at home instead of expecting him to second-guess her emotions all of the time? Shouldn't she have spoken to him about this when she started to feel this way, instead of bottling everything up until she couldn't take a second more of it, and exploding at him in a flurry of complete and utter rage, throwing words around without thinking about the implications of her actions, or the fact that it wasn't his entire fault?
She'd convinced herself that she wasn't happy, yet she'd also convinced herself that Nathan was the problem, and in ending their relationship, in asking for a break, for a divorce, she had thought that she would be happier, only she found that she wasn't.
If she looked objectively at the time she'd spent apart from Nathan, the only thing she'd learnt was what she already knew deep down. She loved him. She wanted him. She wanted them to work through this problematic time together, instead of just giving up on it all.
She just didn't know if it was too late for her to take back what had already been said.
And that thought wasn't a pleasant one.
She could feel the unwelcome tears brimming in her eyes and she didn't want to be seen like this by anyone, she could already see the barman looking at her with a concerned expression on his face in her peripheral vision and she didn't want his sympathy. So she jumped off the bar stool and hastily made her way towards the restrooms, hoping she wouldn't spoil her makeup too much because that would be far too much of a give away to Brooke, and her inquisitive nature was the last thing she needed to be bestowed on her at the moment.
Nathan was getting desperate. He was scanning the room from left to right, frantically searching for Haley but she seemed to have disappeared completely. He had half a mind to walk up to Brooke and ask her where she was but he didn't think that would go down too well. After all, he was the bad guy in all of this. His heart was beating frantically in his chest as he continued to search for her, and just when he was going to admit defeat, he felt someone crash into his chest. He looked down, feeling slightly irritated by the person who had bumped into him and suddenly felt this wave of relief flood over him when he saw the feathers from the turquoise mask in his vision.
Haley sniffed, completely embarrassed that she hadn't been looking where she was going and was about to begin to apologise profusely when she was assaulted by the smell of that familiar, sexy, manly aftershave. She almost choked, forgetting to breathe for a second as she tried to suppress the desire that swept its way through her veins, clouding her thoughts and her judgements. She closed her eyes, willing herself not to get over excited about the fact that she thought it was Nathan because it very well could turn out not to be him. He was in Australia after all.
However, despite telling herself all of this, she simply knew, in a way only someone who had spent nearly half of their life with someone knew, that it was him. But before she'd even had a chance to open her eyes, to process the fact that he was here and in front of her, she found herself being dragged by the wrist through the throngs of people.
She wasn't putting up a struggle which made Nathan realise that she probably knew it was he who was dragging her through the party. The relief he had felt in the first instance was quickly replaced with his pride, reminding him of the fact that she had chosen to destroy all they had and it was that thought alone that had caused the anger and confusion he felt over this whole situation to come bubbling back to the surface. He opened the door to the nearest restroom, dropped his grip on Haley's wrist, checked that no one else was inside and then locked the door so that they could be left in peace.
"Nathan, what are you…" Haley asked as she slipped her mask off her face and frowned as he locked the door.
"We need to talk. Calmly, rationally, without either of us getting worked up, throwing things at each other or walking out," Nathan responded and slipped his own mask off his face too, throwing it into the corner of the room they were now locked in.
Haley agreed with him, but despite all the realisations she'd had this evening, she wasn't sure if she was ready to rehash all that had happened again. Simply being in his presence after such a long period of absence and no contact other than heated phone calls was quite unnerving. She decided to begin with a more mutual topic of conversation. "What happened to Australia?"
"I decided that trying to save my marriage was more important than a business trip," Nathan replied solemnly.
"Oh," Haley responded, not sure what else she should say to that reasoning. He hadn't put her before business meetings in a very long time. Every time she had tried to subtly bring up the subject of him travelling so much she was met with a defensive snide remark, and not wanting to cause a fight, she would always steer the conversation away from the quarrel she knew would ensue if they continued that course of conversation. She wanted to fill the quiet that now surrounded them both because she was finding it incredibly awkward. "How have you been?"
"Fine, you?" Nathan responded quickly and curly. It was quite possibly the biggest lie he had ever told her, because he had been far from fine without having Haley in his life. He had been sad, angry, annoyed, depressed even.
"Fine," Haley answered and then looked down at the floor again, not wanting Nathan to see that she was rather put out that he had been 'fine' when she had been nothing but miserable without him.
Nathan hated the silence that was currently swirling around them. It was uncomfortable and they were both nervous around each other, which was something he found to be unacceptable. They were man and wife, how could things have become so strained between them both? He sighed heavily, bringing his hands up so he could rub them over his face. "God, Haley. When did things become this awkward between us?"
"I don't know," Haley returned quietly, knowing exactly what he meant. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall, lowering herself down to the ground.
Nathan watched her slump to the floor with concerned eyes and the silence returned. He found it incredibly difficult to look at her now, because the person in front of him wasn't the confident, funny, lovely, full of life Haley he loved. This was a strange and broken woman, and the fact that he probably, no definitely, had something to do with the destruction of her character was something he found incredibly hard to process. He leaned himself back against the locked door and lowered himself to the floor also.
"We used to tell each other everything, do you remember?" Haley asked, and continued to speak to her hands, not bothering to wait for Nathan to respond. "I can still remember the nights we'd spend talking about silly little things while you waited for me to fall asleep in the small hours of the morning when we were at school, the times we'd spend laying in each other's arms on college visits, talking about our big house and all the meals I'd have prepared for you when you came in from work, acting like the perfect little housewife. I can remember us talking about our fears, our hopes, our dreams, and our feelings about anything and everything. But we stopped. It all just stopped."
"I know."
Nathan wasn't sure how much time was passing. He suspected that it wasn't very long but it certainly felt like a lot. "Why did you say those things?" he asked, filling the silence with his voice after he could bear no more of it, needing to know what she had meant, if she truly felt that way.
"What things?" Haley asked forlornly.
"The things you said a couple of months ago, about you being tired, about you thinking I didn't…" Nathan sighed painfully as his voice trailed off because he couldn't even say it. She had to know that he loved her, how could she ever doubt that?
"It was how I felt. Is how I feel." Haley replied quietly.
"But how could you think such a thing?" Nathan responded in a confused tone.
Haley sighed as she wrung her hands together. "How could I not think that, Nathan? What have you done over the past year to prove me otherwise? You barely touch me, we haven't had any moments of passion in a long time, sex has been just sex on the rare occasion that we do it, and you don't seem at all interested in me or…"
Nathan couldn't help but be puzzled by what she was saying. Sex had never been a problem between them both; it had always been good, hadn't it? He racked his brains, trying to remember the last time they'd had sex but he found that he couldn't even remember when that was, which pissed him off incessantly. So instead he grew defensive, because sex with Haley was never 'just sex'. Sure, sometimes it was quick and maybe he didn't throw all the emotion into it all of the time, but he was usually exhausted after travelling and work and everything else he had going on in his life. "But Haley, we're married. We can't stay seventeen forever, having sex in the back of a cinema or down an alleyway. We grew up. And I'll admit that things haven't been great between us recently but if you felt that bad about it all, why didn't you talk to me about it?" he asked desperately.
"I didn't think you'd listen." Haley answered and then sighed heavily because she knew that although that was how she felt, she should have at least tried a little harder than she had. "I know that was wrong of me to presume, but after everything that had happened, after the little attention you'd paid me over the year, it's what I thought would happen if I tried to bring it up. I thought you'd dismiss it as me being irrational and insecure and not bother to do anything about it, yet alone hear me in the first place."
"You know what, Haley? I am so, so sorry you feel that way. I… I don't even know what to say but the fact that you feel that way; the fact that you don't think you can be honest with me about your feelings is unacceptable. But you should always know that I love you, that I find you attractive, that I want you. It's just been a really crazy year with work and all. And I know that's not an excuse. I just don't know what happened to us." Nathan said, feeling incredibly horrible that his own wife felt that way about his feelings for her.
"I just think we both got too complacent with our relationship. We haven't had to ever really work that hard to maintain it, and when the going got tough, you concentrated on work and I made myself feel incredibly insecure. And instead of coming to you to talk through my problems, instead of making you listen to me, I just bottled it all up inside. So I'm sorry I didn't try harder too," Haley returned, and then lifted her eyes up to meet Nathan's, lifting her hand up to wipe a stray tear which had begun to roll down her cheek.
Nathan looked down at her hand which was wiping away one of her tears and he noticed the wedding ring she still had on her finger. "You're still wearing it."
Haley knew what he was referring to and lowered her hand from her cheek as she began to play with the ring. "I didn't want to take it off," she admitted.
"Me neither," Nathan responded and proceeded to twist his own wedding band around his finger, deep in thought about what all this meant for their relationship and finding himself slightly miffed about her comments regarding their sex life with each other.
With cautious eyes, Haley glanced up at Nathan and could see that he was contemplating everything. She took this opportunity to allow her eyes to run over his face. She could see the bags under his eyes from where she was sitting, the feint stubble which was covering the bottom of his face. He looked worn and shattered, but still as devastatingly handsome as he had been all those years ago, in fact, if it were at all possible, he was more so now than he was then. Age suited him. He was dressed smartly in a tux, the crisp white shirt and black jacket and trousers tailored over his muscular body, together with the bow tie which was scruffily tied up, and she couldn't help but smile at the sight of it. He'd never be able to get the hang of tying that bow up properly.
Continuing to spin his wedding band around his finger, Nathan sighed, still feeling at complete unease over the whole situation he was trapped in. However, he was soon pulled out from his musings by the sound of the music stopping outside. He wanted answers; he desperately wanted to know what this meant for them both, did the divorce still stand? Or did they have a chance to work things out, to better themselves? Because he knew with all his heart that he wasn't ready to give up on this, she was too special, too precious for him to let go without clinging on until he knew for a fact that he could do no more. He glanced over at her and could see that she was biting her lip again. The countdown outside had begun, the DJ yelling that there was only 60 seconds left until the new year began. He couldn't bring himself to ask if they'd be facing it together or separately.
Haley was still so perplexed by it all. He said he was here to save his marriage, but he hadn't really hinted that he still wanted her. He'd said he was sorry, he'd offered excuses for his behaviour but he hadn't said that he didn't want the divorce. But she hadn't said otherwise either. The last time she had spoken to him on the phone three weeks ago, when he told her he'd be in Australia for New Year, she'd asked for it, and he had just said something bitter back to her and told her that a divorce was fine. She released the grip she had on her lip and sighed. "I think we should probably head back out there, Brooke will be wondering where I am."
"I think you're right," Nathan responded and then lifted himself up off the floor. He heard Haley's heels click on the floor as she walked over to him and at the same time the man outside shouted through the microphone that there were fifty seconds left of the year. He was just about to reach up and unlock the door when Haley called his name. He spun around and found that she was standing right in front of him.
Haley looked down at the floor nervously and then raised her eyes so that she was looking right into Nathan's gorgeous blue ones. "Your bow tie looks lopsided," she said and then smiled slightly as he rolled his eyes. "May I?"
Nathan cleared his throat, suddenly finding that he was shuffling on his feet and he berated himself for acting like an idiot. She was only offering to straighten his tie; it wasn't like she was going to touch him inappropriately or anything. He nodded his head and lifted his chin up in the air, giving her more room so that she could fix it.
Haley took a deep breath, in the hope that it would calm down the butterflies which were fluttering away furiously in her stomach, before she reached out and untied his attempt and quickly righted it. Once she had finished, she placed her hand flat on Nathan's chest and she could feel his heart beating frantically underneath her palm. She lowered her eyes from his bow tie and hoped with all she had inside of her it was she who had caused that reaction of his.
Nathan was continuously amazed at how quickly she could tie a bow tie. His attempt had taken seven tries to get right, and apparently he hadn't even managed to do that. Yet he knew that Haley's attempt would be perfect, just like she was. He glanced down at her as he attempted to keep his head in the air and stole a look at her beautiful, sexy, womanly body. The dress fitted her like a glove, highlighting her curves in all the right places and he couldn't help but be completely enthralled by her. Had he really become that unappreciative of her, had he stopped telling her how beautiful she was, how sexy she was, how much she turned him on? When had it all stopped? He felt Haley's palm rest on top of his jacket and knew that she could feel the racing beats of his heart through the material.
"Thirty seconds!"
The voice outside the door startled Nathan slightly and he knew he desperately needed to say or do something which would save this relationship. He couldn't leave this room without telling her exactly how he felt. But somehow, he couldn't find the words he needed; they became stuck in his throat, not allowing themselves to pass through his lips. He breathed in deeply and he watched as Haley's eyes lifted from where they had been staring idly at his jacket and he stared right into her deep, brown eyes.
Seconds later, Haley was still locked in this stare with Nathan, finding herself unable to break free from his gaze. She was getting lost in the look she saw coming from his eyes, drowning in the slight darkening of their amazing blue colour, feeling the unfamiliar stir of lust deep inside her body.
"Twenty seconds!"
Nathan licked his now too dry lips as his breathing became even heavier and even more laboured. He could feel the heat coming from Haley's hand; it was still resting on his chest and felt like it had begun to burn a hole in his skin. He lifted his arm up from the side of his body and grasped Haley's hand, removing it from his jacket and finally he felt like he could breathe again. "Come on, we should head back outside," Nathan eventually said and let go of Haley's hand. He didn't know why he said that because all he really wanted to do was to lean in and kiss her, but the conversation they'd just had was still clouding his mind and he didn't quite know what to do with it all just yet. No, he'd been right not to kiss her, kissing her would have just made this confusing situation a thousand times worse.
Haley was one hundred percent sure that he had been about to kiss her, maybe even do a hell of a lot more to her. He'd given her that look, the very look she'd thought he'd lost over the years, but it was still there. A small part of her was relieved to know that he still wanted her but mostly she felt rejected. Why hadn't he just given into his desires, why did everything have to be so controlled and standard between them now, when things used to be so fresh and exciting? This was exactly what she had been talking about earlier with him. Go back five years, maybe even three at a push, and the cons of having sex in a public bathroom wouldn't have even entered his mind. The primal desire, the need to be inside of her would have been all he would have thought about. But now, he was probably thinking about how inappropriate it would be, how embarrassing it would be to walk out of here with more than his bow tie looking a little dishevelled. She was disappointed more than anything though because deep down she knew that sex with Nathan at the moment, while words such as divorce were still hanging in the thick air around them, would probably complicate things even more. "I think that's probably best," she finally responded.
Nathan had to actually force his hand to move towards the lock on the door. He didn't want to leave things with Haley like this, he desperately wanted answers to the thousand and one questions which were racing through his mind, but there was also a part of him that didn't want to know the answers to any of them either. He unlocked the door and opened it, allowing Haley to walk through first. He then bent down and picked up his mask off the floor before walking through the door himself.
All Haley could hear were the excited mumblings of the vast ballroom as people continued to countdown to the New Year which was about to begin. She glanced around the room and found that Brooke was in the same spot she had left her in earlier, and she knew she needed to get to her before the clock struck twelve, but what the hell was she supposed to say to Nathan? She turned around to face him and looked down at her shoes, not wanting to leave their relationship hanging like this.
"Ten!"
Nathan thought this moment was even more awkward than the silences they'd shared in the locked bathroom. He knew Haley needed to get back to Brooke so he decided to tell her to go. He realised that he needed some time alone to digest what had been said and to re-evaluate what he wanted to do about all of this, to re-evaluate what he wanted to do about their relationship.
"Nine!"
"Go on, Haley, go back to Brooke," Nathan said.
Haley didn't want to go back to Brooke, she wanted to be with Nathan when the New Year began, she wanted him to tell her that everything was okay between them, and she really wanted to find the courage she needed to tell him that she wanted to talk to him about everything, to sort it all out. However, she was scared about what he'd say back to her, especially if he still thought a divorce was the best thing for them both. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Eight!"
"Go," Nathan responded and then watched as Haley slowly turned herself around and began to walk back towards Brooke.
"Seven!"
Haley turned her head around as she walked, just to check that Nathan was still there. He lifted his hand up and waved uneasily at her.
"Six!"
Nathan lowered his hand back down to his side and continued to watch as Haley turned herself around and walked quickly over towards Brooke. The room was filled with people whooping and cheering enthusiastically but inside, all Nathan felt was apprehension and anxiety.
"Five!"
Haley finally reached Brooke and the rest of their friends. "Four!" she said as she joined in with the countdown.
"Where the hell have you been?" Brooke asked as she turned to face Haley who was now standing next to her. "And where is your mask?"
"Three!"
"I must have dropped it somewhere," Haley said distractedly as she turned herself around and saw Nathan walking towards the exit. She desperately wanted to run after him but she couldn't bring herself to.
"Two!"
"One!"
"Happy New Year!"
Haley turned herself back around just in time to be grabbed by Brooke in a ferocious hug. She let out a deep breath. She wasn't sure if there was anything happy about this New Year at all.
~*~
Nathan was drowning his sorrows in an extremely expensive glass of scotch in the hotel bar he was currently staying in. He hoped the alcohol would block out all of his feelings, he was hoping it would help to clear his head. However, it had only served the purpose of making his thoughts even more blurry than they had previously been. And the worst part of it all was the fact that he wasn't even drunk. This was only his second glass of scotch.
He knew he should probably leave the drink and head up to his room but what harm would finishing the glass do? He'd paid the obscene price for it anyway already so it would be a waste not to finish it. He had just gripped the glass in his hand when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He released the grip he had on the glass and took his phone out of his pocket, surprised to find that he had just received a message from Haley.
His heart began to beat a little bit faster as he waited for the message to open, part of him desperate to know what she had said, and part of him dreading reading it. Over the past few months, their exchanges had been anything but pleasant, save for tonight, which is why he wasn't sure about what her message would say.
I miss you
Those three words sent his heart soaring. Putting tonight's confusing conversation aside, they were the first positive words she'd communicated to him in months. He read the words over and over again and then quickly typed out his response, knowing that he needed to see her tonight. Even if they only sat and talked and ended with the solution that they should indeed continue with the divorce, at least his mind would finally be put to rest.
Can you come and meet me?
He pressed the send button and almost immediately his phone vibrated in his hands with her response.
Where?
He typed out the name of the hotel he was staying in and sent the message back to her quickly, and seconds later he received her response.
Be there in 10
Yet again his body was in turmoil, not knowing whether he should feel excited or not about seeing her again. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, because he did, it was just that he didn't know what their relationship status with each other would be once they had finally sat down and talked about everything.
It took her longer than ten minutes to arrive. Seventeen in fact. The only reason Nathan knew this was because he spent the entire time fiddling with his glass and staring at his phone. He'd already ordered her a vodka martini and he'd moved himself away from the bar to a booth because he thought it would be a more private place for them to talk.
Haley spotted Nathan almost immediately because the bar he was sat in was completely empty. She'd sent the text to him in the first place because she felt like she'd be cheating their relationship if she didn't tell him how she was feeling in that precise moment. It had been scary to send, she'd debated with herself for a good while once she'd typed it out but eventually she'd decided she needed to tell him.
She slipped herself into the booth and noticed the vodka martini which was placed in front of her. "Hey," she said quietly as she took a rather large sip of the drink, needing some alcohol inside of her before they started to talk.
"Hi," Nathan returned as he finally took another sip of the drink he'd been nursing for about twenty minutes or so now.
Haley had been completely surprised when she received the text telling her where Nathan was. She wasn't sure if it meant something. She desperately wanted the fact that he'd chosen to go here to mean something but she couldn't be sure. Was it just convenience? It was, after all the hotel closest to where the party had been held. She looked around the bar and noticed how much it had changed; the hotel had obviously undergone a huge makeover since the last time she had been here.
Nathan watched as she eyed her surroundings. Did she know that he had chosen this precise hotel for a reason? Did she remember? He hoped that she did. The candle which was flickering on the table between them was casting her face in a soft glow and her brown eyes were twinkling at him as he looked at them. "Did you enjoy the rest of the party?" Nathan asked.
Haley moved her eyes back over to Nathan's and quickly dropped her gaze as she gripped onto her glass a little tighter than before. If there was ever a time for her to be one hundred percent honest with him, it was now. She took a deep breath and lifted her eyes back to his. "No, I didn't really. It felt wrong, weird actually, to not be with you when the countdown stopped."
"It felt strange for me too," Nathan responded and then the silence returned, only this time, it didn't feel as awkward as it had done before.
Haley took another sip of her drink, and then lowered her glass back down to the table, dropping her eyes from Nathan's intense stare. She loosened her grip on the glass and ran her finger up the stem and over the curve of the glass until she reached the rim. "I felt you, you know. Your eyes. I... somehow I just knew you were there, looking at me. Before you grabbed me."
"I know felt me. You shivered. And you looked for me," Nathan returned. "I don't think I would have talked to you at all if I hadn't known that you were searching for me."
"I'm glad you did," Haley said as she lifted her eyes up from the glass and connected them with Nathan's.
Nathan smiled. "Me too."
The silence was beginning to become awkward again. Nathan watched as Haley took careful sips of her drink, like she was trying to save it, to make it last, and he had been doing the same, only he had finished his off minutes ago, and was now fiddling with his hands, unsure of what to do, of what to say.
Haley was running out of drink fast. She lowered the glass back down to the table, looking at how much liquid she had left and assessed that she had two, maybe three if she was lucky, gulps left before it had all gone. She wanted to know why he had chosen this hotel out of all the hotels in the city, because surely it was chosen for a reason. She hoped so anyway. "I can't believe how much this place has changed," she said, keeping her eyes on Nathan as she spoke, pleased when she saw him begin to shuffle uncomfortably in his chair. When he ran his hand through his hair she knew she was right though, because that was his nervous habit. She couldn't help but smile at his reaction.
Nathan didn't know how to respond to that. He was glad she remembered, but how on earth could he tell her his reasons for staying here when everything was still so up in the air? Luckily, he was saved from answering by the barman.
"Sir, we're closing in a few minutes," the barman said politely.
Nathan glanced over at him and nodded his head before he turned his attention back to Haley who was gulping down her drink.
"I guess I should get going then," Haley said as she placed the now empty glass back down on the table and gathered her things.
"Would you like me to see if there's a room available for you here? I don't feel right, you getting in a cab this late on your own," Nathan said quickly before any courage he'd been able to muster evaded him.
"Are you sure?" Haley asked.
"Of course, I'd feel much better about it," Nathan returned and then quickly jumped out of his seat. "Let me go and check what they've got."
Haley followed Nathan out of the bar, across the lobby and lingered behind him as he talked to the woman on reception. It seemed they were in luck, because a minute later, he turned around and had a key card in his hand. She smiled at him in thanks and walked with him to the elevators.
Nathan pressed the button on the panel for the floor which Haley's room was on and ran his hand through his hair. He was still so on edge about their whole relationship, mainly because nothing concrete had been said. But maybe it was better that way for now. He should just be grateful that there were being pleasant with each other really, the screaming and shouting had become far too aggravating. The doors opened and he allowed Haley to walk through first. He scanned the sign on the wall and then gestured with his hand to the left. "Your room's this way."
Haley followed Nathan down the hallway until he stopped in front of the door. She watched as he placed the key inside the reader and then held open the door for her to walk through. She was rather surprised that he followed her inside but also glad of it. She didn't quite feel ready to say goodnight to him just yet.
"Is the room okay?" Nathan asked, well aware that he was simply stalling so that he could spend a few more seconds with her before he left for his own room. It felt strange, being with her now but knowing that he would be sleeping without her by his side. It felt much harder to leave her alone when he'd spent time rather amicably with her this evening.
"Yes, thanks," Haley returned and placed her bag on the table which was beside her, and then quickly brought her hands together and began to twist her wedding band around her finger.
Nathan watched as she continued to twist her wedding ring around her finger. He closed his eyes for a brief second, unable to think of anything else he could say which would mean that he wouldn't have to leave her presence just yet. "Well I should get going," he said. His eyes ran over her body before they rested on her face. "You look beautiful tonight, Haley. You always do."
Haley smiled at his words, feeling herself blush slightly given his compliment to her, especially as everything was still so off kilter between them. She lifted her eyes up from where she had been staring at her hands and watched Nathan walk back towards the door. "Why are you staying here, Nathan?" she asked.
Nathan stopped walking and turned around to face her. "It's our place, that's why."
Haley nodded her head and then looked away from him for a second, casting her eyes over the room, memories of that night coming back to her. "I can still remember that night like it was yesterday," she said distractedly as her mind began to play back the events that had happened eight years ago. "I was so desperate for you, and you had been teasing me the entire night. I honestly think if you hadn't dragged me out of that restaurant when you did I would have demanded you take me right there on the table. But when we got back to our room, you were insatiable, dominating, like you just couldn't get enough of me. It was like you craved me more than anything else in the entire world, like you longed for me so intently. It hasn't felt like that in... ages. It feels like you don't want me anymore, like you don't find me sexy or appealing or..."
Nathan took a step towards her but then stopped himself from going any further, because he needed to make her see, to make her comprehend just how he felt about her, because he'd obviously not been the best at showing her lately. "I'm always desperate for you, Haley. I always want you. Only you," he said, surprising himself with how much conviction he'd used in his voice. He walked purposefully towards her, never wavering in his eye contact with her until he had her backed up against a wall. "Do you understand?"
Haley gulped audibly as she watched his hands come to rest on either side of her shoulders. She felt trapped with Nathan's body being in front of her like it was, but she liked it. Her body was responding to him in only the way it knew how. She licked her lips unknowingly and watched as Nathan's eyes grew even narrower, his breathing becoming even deeper than it had been. She revelled in knowing that she was affecting him this way. This was what she'd missed.
Nathan dropped his eyes to her mouth and almost growled at her when she began to lick those luscious, full lips of hers. He wanted to claim her as his again, to show her just how much his body yearned for her. His cock was pushing against the confines of his trousers, his eyes beginning to wander lower, over the swell of her cleavage. He could see her nipples hardening underneath the material of her dress, beginning to poke through and he longed to run his tongue over them, to pull them between his teeth. But most of all he wanted to bury himself inside of her. But he wouldn't do any of that until he knew that she understood him. He lifted his eyes back up to her face and reconnected his gaze with hers. He could see the desire she held for him burning underneath her eyes and it only made his cock even harder. Her warm breath was fanning out against his face, her breaths deep and uneven. "I asked you a question, Haley," he said slowly. "Do. You. Understand?"
Haley whimpered underneath the intensity of his stare. Her hands were pushing against the wall, not in an effort to get away from him, but in an effort to push her body closer to him. She wanted his hands on her, his mouth, his tongue, his teeth, his cock. He said he was always desperate for her, that he always wanted her, and it was what she wanted to hear. She nodded her head, because given the way that he was currently looking at her; she more than understood what he meant.
"No, no, no, Haley. I want you to tell me that you understand," Nathan returned, unsatisfied with her response.
"I understand," Haley said, unable to do more than whisper back at him.
Nathan couldn't keep himself away from her body for a second longer. He lowered his head down to her neck and ran his nose up the side of her throat until he got to her ear, inhaling her glorious scent. "You always smell so good," he said.
Haley couldn't help the shiver that went right through her body. Feeling him on her skin, even though it was only his nose, meant that a rush of desire flooded her entire being, heightening all of her senses. She could smell him, taste him in the air surrounding her and it was all too much.
"Who do I want?" Nathan said huskily in her ear.
Haley closed her eyes as she licked her too dry lips once more. "Me," she said, practically having to force the words out of her mouth because her brain wasn't cooperating with her, it had turned to complete mush.
"And who do you want?" Nathan asked.
Haley turned her head so that she was facing Nathan's and breathed in deeply, the scent of his aftershave causing her entire body to feel like she had no control over herself at all. "You," she whispered.
Nathan couldn't help the groan that escaped from his mouth. "Do you know how much that turns me on?" he said as he grabbed onto her earlobe with his teeth and tugged sharply on it. He felt Haley gasp and shudder in response, just like he knew she would. "Knowing that you want me, seeing how responsive your body is to me?"
Haley felt Nathan place a kiss just underneath her ear and she instantly moved her neck so that he could have all the access he desired.
Nathan leaned himself closer to her, placing a trail of kisses right down her throat. She moaned softly, the sound going right to his cock. "I love the noises you make, like when I run my tongue around your pulse point," he murmured against her skin, moving his mouth back up to the side of her neck and running his tongue around her pulse in languorous circles, hearing Haley whimper from his ministrations, right on cue. He placed a kiss right on the spot and pulled his mouth away from her. "God, Hales, that noise. You have no idea what it does to me."
Haley turned her head so that she was now facing Nathan. She ran her eyes over his face, taking in the feint stubble which she always found so manly and such a turn on, moving her gaze over his sexy mouth to his deep, blue eyes. "Tell me."
"It makes me want to throw you down on the nearest surface, rip all the clothes off you and just plunge myself inside of you. But it's not just the noises you make, it's the way you respond to me which drives me completely crazy," Nathan returned. He lifted one of his hands up from where it had been resting against the wall and ran it down Haley's cheek, right down the side of her neck and then followed the neckline of her dress until he got to her cleavage. He moved his hand down to the centre of her breast and began to draw lazy circles around her nipple, watching in complete fascination as they hardened even more because of his touch.
Haley arched her back so that she was pushing herself into Nathan's hand, longing for him to touch her where she wanted, instead of him continuing this deliberate torture. She continued to watch his face, his eyes staring at his hand, watching her nipples poke even more prominently through her dress. "Nathan, please," she whimpered.
Nathan curled his lips up slightly as he bent his knees a little and lowered his mouth down to her nipple, making sure that his eyes stayed connected with hers. He ran his tongue around it through the material of her dress and then gripped her nipple in between his teeth, tugging slightly on it.
"Oh God!" Haley moaned as she pushed her hands further against the wall in another attempt to get her body closer to Nathan's. She felt him release her nipple and in an instant she moved her hands from the wall and grabbed onto the collar of his jacket.
Nathan felt Haley yank him up and before he knew what was happening, she pulled him towards her and the next thing he felt was her mouth on top of his. Her tongue pushed through his lips forcefully, tangling with his own and he pushed her back against the wall with his body, grinding his rock hard cock into her stomach, craving some friction.
Haley felt his cock press against her stomach and it only served to turn her on even more. She wanted to rub her thighs together but one of Nathan's legs was pushed in between hers making it impossible for her to do so. She could feel how wet her panties were, soaked with her arousal. She pulled Nathan's jacket off his shoulders and threw it down on the floor next to where they were standing, and then ran her hands greedily down his toned arms, feeling his muscles through his crisp, white shirt.
Nathan ran his hands up the sides of her body until he got to the straps of her dress. He knew she wasn't wearing a bra and he desperately wanted to see her, to taste her, and so he stepped away from her slightly, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips as he pushed the straps down her arms and pulled the dress off her body, leaving it in a pool of material at her feet. His eyes devoured her body, running hungrily over her curves. "So perfect," he mumbled to himself.
Haley took this opportunity to unbutton his shirt, first untying his bow tie and letting the silk drop to the floor. Her eyes feasted over each inch of skin she exposed and she giggled when she felt Nathan lower his knees so that he could kiss his way down her shoulder towards her breast, making it hard for her to see what she was doing.
Nathan couldn't help himself, his mouth wanted to be on her skin and he couldn't deny himself any longer. He kissed his way down her chest until he reached her breast and ran his tongue around her nipple again, this time tasting her properly. He could feel Haley struggling to undo his shirt and he grew impatient and so swatted her hands away and just ripped the material open, hearing the buttons bounce off the walls and land on the floor around them.
Haley pulled the shirt off his body just as Nathan began to move his mouth back up towards hers. He captured her lips in a greedy kiss, his dominating tongue forcing its way into her mouth. She felt his hands wander down the sides of her body and then they crept between her and the wall until they were cupping her ass. He then took a step back and pulled her along with him, dipping his body and his hands and hoisted her up. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, kicked off her shoes and moved her hands into his hair, gripping fistfuls of it and yanking onto it, feeling his cock just underneath where she was gripping onto him.
Nathan moved his own hands into Haley's hair and removed the clip which was holding her hair up. He threw it down on the floor and pulled his mouth away from hers as he watched her hair tumble down her back and over her shoulders. He then began to walk them towards the bed, feeling her nipples pressing against his chest as she moved her ass against his cock, causing him to groan. "God, baby," he moaned, feeling just how ready she was for him. "You're so wet already."
Haley continued to move her body against his and leaned her mouth down so that she could run her tongue along his neck, placing a hot, wet kiss just underneath his ear. "How could I not be?" she murmured against his skin before pulling away from him.
Nathan couldn't help but smirk at her and watched as a smile spread across Haley's face.
"There's that sexy smirk I've missed so much," she mumbled to herself, feeling completely happy, content and ridiculously turned on.
Nathan threw her down on the bed and quickly took his trousers, boxers and shoes off his body. His eyes roamed over Haley's body, and he watched as she lowered her panties, revealing herself to him. His cock was aching to be inside of her, he desperately needed to be inside of her, to feel her clenching around him. He crawled onto the bed and watched as she opened her legs for him, resting her feet on the bed with her knees up in the air.
Haley watched as Nathan crawled up the bed, and then felt him place a series of kisses on her stomach. His hands moved up the sides of her body as his mouth continued to pepper her skin with hot kisses until she felt his cock rest against her thigh. She was absolutely throbbing for him, needing him more than she'd ever needed him before. His mouth was now moving up her neck and then it was hovering just above her own.
Nathan leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips before he pulled his mouth away. He felt Haley's hand wander down his back and over his hip until she gripped his cock in her hands. He sucked in a sharp breath when she began to move her hand up and down his shaft slowly. "That's what you do to me, baby. Always," he said.
Haley guided his cock towards her body, running it up and down her slit, coating it with her juices as she felt Nathan's mouth move down onto hers again. She moaned into his mouth as she moved his cock over her throbbing clit and then moved it back down towards her entrance.
Nathan pulled his mouth away from hers and kissed his way down to her neck. "Are you still on the pill?" he mumbled against her skin.
"Yes," Haley returned and then moaned when she felt him run his tongue over her skin. She lifted her hips off the bed as she pressed the tip of his cock inside of her and then released her grip, bringing her hand back up towards his neck as she felt him press himself deep inside of her.
Nathan felt this wave of possession rush through his entire body now that he was inside of her. She was his and he was hers. It was simply how things were supposed to be. He moved his hips back a little, meaning that his cock left her body before he thrust back inside of her. He groaned and rested his arms by the sides of her body as he repeated the action, feeling Haley's hips lift up off the bed to meet his, causing him to go deeper inside of her body.
Haley moved her hands back into his hair and tugged his head so that he moved his mouth away from her neck and back up to meet hers. She kissed him greedily, moaning into his mouth each time he entered her body. She felt the desperation in his kiss, in the forceful movement of his hips, in the way his cock filled her completely. She continued to move her hips in time with his thrusts and felt him up the pace a little, which she responded to.
Nathan placed a lingering kiss on her lips and then lifted his head up a little so that he could look at her. "You look so sexy like this, Hales," he said. He continued to look into her eyes and then angled his hips a little differently on the next thrust as he felt his cock hit her upper wall.
"Fuck, Nathan!" Haley gasped as she felt him hit her in exactly the right spot. She lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his body, giving him more access to go even deeper.
Nathan could feel how far he was going inside of her but greedily he wanted more. "Put the other leg up too," he said and groaned as he felt Haley lock her ankles together on his backside, digging her heels into his ass just how he liked as he continued to penetrate her.
Haley pushed against Nathan's chest with her hands, wanting to change the position. She felt him roll onto his side and she unclasped her legs and quickly found herself on top. She settled herself and placed her hands on his chest, giving herself the leverage she needed to lift herself up before she pushed her body back down onto him.
"You have no idea how much I love watching you in this position," Nathan grunted as he felt Haley lower herself onto his cock, the change of position giving him the most perfect view ever created.
Haley continued to move herself in a fast and frantic rhythm. She ran her hands up his chest, raking her nails into his skin. "I love watching you period," she said sexily.
Nathan moved his hands up to grasp onto her hips when she next raised herself off him and he slammed her down onto his cock as he lifted his hips up to meet her.
"Fuck that feels good," Haley cried out, unable to help herself. "Do it again."
Nathan smirked up at her as he repeated the action, only to happy to oblige. He loved it when she was this free, the wanton expression on her face, the way her back arched each time his cock hit that sensitive spot inside of her, it was all so deliciously sexy. And the way her muscles clung onto his cock felt simply divine.
"Faster," Haley breathed, needing more of this, more of him. She felt him increase the pace but it still wasn't enough. "God, I feel like I can't ever get enough."
"It's the same for me, baby," Nathan returned through laboured breaths. He could feel his orgasm creeping its way through his body. "Touch yourself, Hales."
Haley moved her hand up from his chest and reached down to circle her clit with her finger. She worked up fast rhythm, matching their pace until she couldn't hold her orgasm off any longer. "Fuck yes! God, Nathan!" she cried out as her body began to tingle. Her toes curled into the sheets of the bed and she felt like she couldn't control anything as her entire body shook with the force of her orgasm.
Nathan watched as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. She never looked more beautiful than she did in the moments when she came. They way his name fell from her lips in total abandonment, complete and utter ecstasy, was a sound he wanted to remember for the rest of his life. With a few more thrusts, and the way her inner muscles were clenching around his cock, he couldn't keep his own orgasm at bay for a second longer. He dug his nails into her hips as he released inside of her.
Once Haley had managed to calm her breathing and her beating heart a little, she lifted herself off Nathan and flopped down onto the bed beside him. She placed one of her hands over her stomach; the other was laid on the bed beside her.
After a while, Nathan rolled himself onto his side and rested his elbow on the pillow so that he could look at Haley properly. He ran his finger around her belly button, watching as her hand slipped off her stomach.
Haley bit down on her lip, unsure of where things stood between them both now. She wanted to say something to Nathan, but she didn't want to ruin the moment they were sharing, because after months of not having him by her side, after months of laying in a bed on her own, of missing him, of worrying incessantly about whether the next time she'd see him would be in a courtroom while they argued over who got what, it was nice to have him there.
Nathan could see she was procrastinating about the discussion he knew they needed to have. However, after what they had just done and all they had discussed tonight, he was sure that a divorce wouldn't be on the cards. He lifted his head and placed a kiss on the side of her stomach. "Stop worrying, baby," he whispered as he pulled his mouth away.
Haley sighed and rolled herself onto her side, causing Nathan's hand to move from her stomach to her hip. She looked him in the eyes and couldn't help the fact that she needed some reassurance. "Are we going to be okay?" she asked.
Nathan looked back at her earnest expression and he really didn't want to lie to her. "We have a lot of issues we need to discuss and work through," he said. He moved his hand up the side of her body and watched as she shivered underneath his fingertips slightly. Trailing his hand down her arm, he eventually reached her hand. He placed it in his own and moved it towards his mouth, looking down at the wedding band which sat proudly on her finger. "But I think we're going to be okay."
Haley released a deep breath she'd been holding in and watched as he placed a kiss on her wedding band. She knew he was right, they had a lot of things which needed to be talked through, and it wouldn't be easy. They needed to reach some reasonable compromises, talk calmly about what they wanted from each other and for themselves, both as individuals and as a couple. But knowing that Nathan thought they would get through it all was exactly what she needed to hear. It bolstered up her confidence to a much more acceptable level.
Nathan pulled her towards him and left a soft kiss on her lips. "Happy New Year, baby," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and felt her snuggle into his body.
"Happy New Year," Haley whispered against his skin, so pleased and relieved that she wasn't starting this year alone. She had her husband with her, and it was so much more than she could have hoped for. "I love you."
Nathan placed a kiss on the top of her head and smiled as he hugged his wife closer to him. "I love you too."
AN – I'd love to hear what you guys thought...
An update to NSN is next :o)
And Happy New Year to you all!