A/N-I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds. The plot is the only original aspect of this one-shot.
Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
"I know, Derek. You're sorry. But that's it! You're sorry! You know you shouldn't have done that, but it doesn't stop you from doing it! And it won't stop you from doing it again. You're always going to do it! You're always going to break my heart." Penelope held herself together, but as the truth spilt from her lips she knew she was going to fall apart. She caught Derek in another lie, and he knew it. He didn't deny it, he didn't give an excuse. He just said he was "sorry", but Penelope heard that word too many times. She tried and tried to forgive and forget, but she couldn't. She forgave him, but she never could forget. Once you're heart is broken, it'll never be mended. And break, after break, after break, the heart is forever shattered.
"Baby, I know I screwed up-" Penelope cut him off. She couldn't stand to hear him apologize one more time.
"Don't." That one word sunk his heart; that one softly, yet determinedly whispered word. She looked so broken and defeated. Derek had never seen her like this, not even after the most gruesome of cases, the ugliest of fights. It made him angrier at himself, knowing that he was the cause of this. That he was the reason Penelope, his baby girl, his God-given solace, was looking so distraught and hopeless.
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said...
"Just stop. Please, for the love of God, don't apologize again." He saw the tears in her eyes, and he saw her chest heaving as she tried to keep them in. "We've been through this more times than I think anyone should in a life time. We tried." Her voice cracked, and a tear leaked. "God knows we tried, Derek. But not only are we destroying ourselves, we're destroying the team." Derek's head snapped up at this. He was baffled as to why she brought the team into this. "I won't stand by and be selfish, letting the team take the hit for our issues." She looked down at her pink night slippers and took a deep breath.
"I'm leaving." He was up out of his seat before she finished the sentence. His arms wrapped around her with a ferocity that took her breath away. She felt his tears hit her neck as his body let loose the sobs. She felt her own body relax, letting herself mold to his body; feeling at home. But this home was destructive. She couldn't let it happen again. They both deserved better.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto
Her body went rigid as she slipped from his hold. The pain was overwhelming, her own and the pain she felt radiating off of Derek. He kept his head down as his tears flowed down his face onto the wooden floor. She had never seen him cry; not at work, not at home, not during their fights.
He knows this is it. Penelope felt the truth and honesty of their situation race through her body, and she knew he had to leave. The sooner the better. The longer he stayed, the more time there was for reconcile. When he looked up she felt her heart beat faster, her blood rushed through her veins, and she felt light headed. His eyes were clouded over with tears that had yet to fall, and his nose was painfully red. Penelope bit the inside of her cheek, keeping her own sobs and sorrow inside. She knew it was painful right now, goodbyes were always the worst, but she wouldn't back down... she wouldn't give in this time.
She reached her hand out tentatively towards his face, and when he leaned towards her touch she took a deep breath. Her hand lingered on his face for a second, and then she withdrew.
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes
And you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
"Good bye, Derek. I thought we could make this work. I thought we could hold on to what we used to have, before-" she looked towards the ceiling, desperately clinging to the tears that threatened to fall, "before all that had happened, but we couldn't." She looked back down, their eyes connecting. Again, her heart fluttered and her pulse picked up. She disconnected their connection and took several steps back until she was against the wall. Hoping he'd take her que and leave, she looked back at the ceiling. Trying to count the different squares, still holding onto her tears.
"I know." His voice broke her concentration on the ceiling, but she didn't look down. She heard him take a step towards her, but then stop. "You need time. I need time. I screwed this up, and I know. I'm so sorry that-" She cut him off.
"No, Derek. I'm sorry, but I can't. Not anymore. Your apologies, they... they fall on deaf ears." Penelope Garcia turned away from Derek Morgan before he could see her tears fall. She turned her back on her best friend, her lover, her sense of security. He was less than a foot away, and as he tried to understand the situation she felt his breath on the nape of her neck. She heard his silent step back, as he distanced himself from her, accepting her choice. When she heard the lock click on the door, finalizing her decision to leave behind all she knew, the tears began to slip from her eyes. Turning back around, her mascara was streaming along side her tears, and her red lips were quivering with the explanation she couldn't quite express.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Oh, woah
With shaky steps, she walked towards the couch and collapsed under the weight of her decision. Even as the sobs left her lips, even as she gasped with pain she never knew she could feel, she was sure she made the right choice.
"Good bye, Derek." The sobs racked through Penelope's body, and as she tried to stabilize her breathing she shook. She shook with the pain that Derek had brought into her life. She shook with the pleasure he brought into her life. She shook with all she had felt with him, the good and the bad.
The ugly and the beautiful.
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto
She knew one day he would understand; she knew one day they would sit together and laugh about this. Laugh about all their fights, all their mistakes, all their trials. She knew one day they would be together, happier than they ever were. But she also knew that "one day" would not be for a long time. They were both young, and neither of them knew what the other needed. Neither of them knew what they, themselves, needed. And until then, they needed this.... this separation.
One hour later she was standing in the doorway of her front door. She looked into the empty room, feeling the memories that flashed before her eyes. Looking at her watch, she knew he'd be back soon; trying to reconcile with his never ending apologies. When the tears threatened to flood her eyes again she stepped outside, closing her door.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto
The one thing that I tried to hold onto
"Good bye to you, Derek." She whispered again, as she walked from her house, her life. As she walked away from Derek.
Oh Woah
And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
A/N-Well, this my first attempt at a Criminal Minds one-shot. Derek Morgan and Penelope is the ship, obviously. & I know most people see them as together, which I do, but I heard this song (Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch) & immediately thought of these two. I'm sure I'll write a sequel, when they meet together again & get back together, but until I find the song or inspiration this is it. :p Okay, tell me what you think; if you love it or hate it. I can take it. :]