His timing surprised her. To say things had not been going well for them was an understatement. After confessing to the Chief, she questioned whether they had the strength to endure his disappointment, and, everyday her instincts fought her brain's belief that they were slowly suffocating in the silence. Now she understood, that even in the silence, he had been thinking she should be his wife. That he should be her husband. Knowing that his confidence had not waived was like oxygen to her.
It was time.
Reading at the counter he ignored the familiar footsteps and continued to eat. He hadn't expected her to answer immediately but it was becoming increasingly difficult to control the urge to press her. So, instead of looking at her, he concentrated on the contents of his carton hoping his eyes would not betray him.
"I don't do rings."
She spoke quickly afraid of losing her nerve. His question had consumed her thoughts for more than a week. She had told almost no one respecting that this time belonged to them. She needed to be sure she was making the right decision, and, that decision had to be rational not driven by emotion. Emotional people made ugly mistakes. Finally, she was ready to answer and her hopeful eyes searched his face for a hint of understanding.
As he wiped his mouth, he watched the ring leave her hand and his heart dropped while his mind screamed her words back to him. Since his proposal he hadn't felt scared. Not when he asked her, not the countless times he peeked at her empty finger, not when he tried to decipher the face that had suddenly become so cryptic. Now he fought against the fear infiltrating his soul as the inches between them became miles.
There was no doubt that she was the one, no doubt that therewas no one else for either of them. His only doubt was whether she would say yes. Everyday he imagined a new way to propose keeping the plans, the ring and the moment to himself. With so much in their relationship public he wanted this to belong only to them. He patiently watched for their best chance, and, the night she broke their silence he asked her. He no longer could deny how much he needed this woman to be his wife.
At the sight of his clenched jaw, she reached out to touch his face. It was her sanctuary even in silence, even in heartache. It was the face of her dreams. To her that face was everything.
"Don't expect me to suddenly change. I'm a surgeon just like you."
As she moved her hand away, he thought he glimpsed a smile teasing him behind her serious face. Comforted by her calmness he struggled to make sense of her words, and, chose to place his faith in the unspoken yet again.
The turn of his head bolstered her determination. Her words needed to be clean, precise to be certain that he understood. They could not move forward if he didn't. The ring was perfect but she was not that wife.
"And we'll have money. We can hire a wife."
Impossible. Stubborn. Frustrating. She challenged him like no one else. She loved him like no one else, and, he knew that love was true. This time she had to say the words.
She paused as her mind registered the confusion running across his face. Everything was so clear to her she expected that he would understand. He should understand, he always understood. He knew she loved him without her ever saying the words. He knew her.
"Are you saying 'yes'?"
His words, laced with frustration, expressed his hope. Since she broke the silence they were getting along well even with the unanswered proposal, and, their relationship had grown stronger in the turmoil of the past few months. Now he hoped that she had enough faith to see beyond the ring and every wife she'd never respected to say 'yes'.
The rhythm of her own breathing filled her ears as she stared into the eyes of the man who had ruined her. In a short time he had stolen her heart, her sleep, her edge and so much more. She knew that she could live without him but she wasn't interested in that life. He was her choice.
"Ye…yeah."
The hesitation in her voice disguised the certainty of her heart. She'd always devoted herself to her career never once believing anything more was possible or necessary. Today she was prepared to commit to this man who made her need more.
He restrained his impulse to close the distance between them as she answered. Instead, he remained still, reveling in the fact that he sat inches away from his future wife.
"I'm not letting you scrub in tomorrow."
Holding the ring his mind wandered to the four words she spoke the moments before their first kiss, their first everything. She had meant something more that day just as he did now.He needed to know that he was and would always be more than his hands or a surgery to her.
"Well I'm not wearing the ring."
Her words instinctively carried a familiar competitive edge. From the start, her fear had been losing herself and her career in her feelings for him. Sacrifice was one thing but changing completely was beyond what she was able to give. She needed to know that she was and would always be accepted as his equal. That was more important than any ring.
"Okay."
His eyes remained fixed on the ring that was supposed to symbolize their love, marriage, and commitment. It mirrored her in its strength, brilliance and beauty but in no way rivaled her wild, unpredictable spirit.
"Okay then."
She hadn't imagined it would go like this. She looked down at her hands unsure of what else to say. She'd said everything, and, it was her turn to wait.Suddenly, she was unable to look at the man who would one day be her husband.
"Yes!!"
Those arms were like magic to her. They kept her warm, made her feel safe, and made her believe she could really have it all. As he spun her, her relief she was incredible and happiness enveloped her in a way that only her passion for him had ever done.
"Okay!"
That laugh filled him with happiness every time he heard it because he swore she reserved it only for him; he'd never heard it with anyone else. He held her tighter and tighter as his words seemed beyond his control. Now it was time to share their happiness with the world.
"Okay!"
Together they were so many things.
"Okay!"
They were surgeons used to being in control but powerless to resist what drew them together.
"Okay!"
Ambitious. Driven. There was no reason they could not try hard enough.
"Okay!"
Gone was their team, finally, they were partners.