Disclaimer:- Sorry to disappoint but I am no JK Rowling. In terms of personal wellbeing, my poor 'delusional' soul sees this as just righting a wrong. Seriously, I don't own anything so don't sue me...I sure can dream though ;)

A/N - Now I know exactly how Captain Jack Sparrow felt when Elizabeth discarded the rum... (my liquid confidence is running low! I was inspired by the show 'Outnumbered' and I would like dedicate this series to my little sister who somehow continues to have faith in me.) Just so you know I have absolutely no confidence in my abilities. Reviews would be - appreciated? I expect I'll get a ton of constructive critiscism *cries in a corner* - Here goes...

Hermione awoke to the familiar unholy sound of bickering. Unfortunately, this was a common occurrence in her household; glancing at the glowing alarm clock, she sighed as she slowly got out of her warm inviting bed. Harry, on the other hand was sound asleep. She paused briefly and watched the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed deeply. Hermione affectionately ran her fingers through his raven hair.

'How on earth could her husband possibly sleep through these episodes?' She liked to reason that it was simply his body's way of making up for the loss of shuteye during their angst ridden teen years. Hermione hadn't been at all surprised when he'd retired from teaching Defence against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts to become a house husband. Afterall, their offspring were more than a handful of trouble, to put it lightly she recalled co-training Dumbledore's Army and that had been a walk in the park compared to parenthood. How they coped logistically; she didn't know because they just did, but if anyone deserved rest to it was Harry. As if on cue, her thoughts were disrupted when the racket increased in volume.

"Kids." She muttered to herself as she grabbed his glasses, slipped them into her nightgown and silently exited their bedroom.

Luckily she didn't have far to go. Hermione found the source of disruption pretty fast, she didn't even bother knocking. To say Hermione was feeling pretty smug was an understatement; she loved being right, it was the combination of having achieved the intended result and seeing the desired effects. Using the element of surprise; all the commotion ceased at once as the offending parties were startled, and all hushed insults died on their tongues. They quickly directed their uproar towards her. However, she stopped them in their tracks with her signature look; sporting one hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow, they instantly seemed to falter into submission.

James recovered the fastest. He was irritably scowling at his siblings, most likely from the sheer lack of concern for his privacy. Amber Rose was busy squeezing the life out of a pillow as she defiantly glared back at him on the verge of protest. The tension ended with Lily; who was now watching the scene unfold with pure amusement whilst she held their youngest son Felix, who clearly had no intention of sleeping written across his little face.

Normally, Hermione would've found the scene comical if it wasn't such a ridiculous hour.

"Doesn't anyone in this house ever knock?" James muttered darkly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and chose to ignore his sarcastic remark, "Really guys? It's two in the morning –"

It was at this point that Felix Potter decided to be a right smart arse and hold up two of his fingers in demonstration. He had recently learned to count but…she narrowed her eyes, somehow this was different he was flashing her a 'peace sign' Honestly, the boy obviously spent too much time with Theodore Lupin and Fred Weasley Jnr. At four, Felix was by far the most mysterious of the clan. With trademark messy brown hair and curious green eyes, he possessed an unnatural air of quiet yet displayed an open interest for mischievous activities. It didn't help matters that he was at that stage where he was still mispronouncing words and was cute as a button.

"Mum with all due respect, we're capable of knowing what the time is." Amber Rose countered briskly.

Hermione raised both her eyebrows this time to regard her two eldest children. Since when had they gotten so big? And sooo unbelievably rude. James was the spitting image of his Harry; he'd inherited his jet black hair and emerald green eyes minus the glasses of course. He seemed aloof most of the time when in actual fact he was just shy, once he warmed to you he was one hell of cheeky git. Although, he was like her in many ways; it was in the little things, he possessed her uncanny wit and apparently 'only when it mattered' - her slightly compulsive organisational skills.

Amber Rose Potter was a strange mix; what with the resemblance and much like her mother she prided herself on spell work, her charms and transfiguration were exemplary so she could definitely hold her own in a duel with her no nonsense attitude and her unique hazel eyes often glinted at the mere hint of adventure. Though, if Hermione were being honest her playfulness reminded her one Nymphadora Tonks, That was where all similarities ended, for one she like her brother had an innate need for speed, an intense love of flying they were on rivaling Quidditch teams much to Harry's delight. Unfortunately, both of them had inherited the worst of their parents' unruly hair. Every morning was a bad hair day in their house; this resulted in a lot of fights as they each fought valiantly for bathroom time.

"So then you'll have find no difficulty telling me what you're all doing out of bed." Hermione crossed her arms, meaning she meant business.

James opened his mouth then decided to close it for the better. Amber Rose bit her lip in an attempt to think before speaking. Felix made sure to avoid his mothers gaze, clever kid. However, Lily eagerly placed her hand in the air and waited for her right to speak. McGonagall would love this one.

"May I?" Lily politely inclined. Hermione nodded; at least one of her children had the decency to use manners in this day and age. If there was one person that shared Hermione's virtues and sensibilities, Lily Jean Potter was it. Her love of books and thirst for knowledge was apparent from a young age. Uncle Ronald had dubbed her as 'Little Miss Confident' or 'Priorities-in-check.' She was fonder of Uncle Percival though.

"Objection!" James dramatically countered. Amber Rose snickered. Hermione shot them a warning look. Lily impressively ignored them.

"You may proceed." Hermione replied rather sharply. Honestly, sometimes she felt like she brought the courthouse jury home.

"I admit I wasn't asleep at all, I was reading under my covers with my torch -" she was rudely interrupted by James who began tutting.

"No doubt it's Hogwarts: A History again." He breathed distastefully and Lily flushed guiltily.

"See? That's why you have to wear glasses. You keep straining your eyes!" Amber Rose exclaimed disapprovingly. Lily frowned at this she loathed her glasses but adored reading, a terrible compromise Hermione knew only too well as her own pair was often discarded.

"Leave her be Ambrose. Besides, Hufflepuff are keen on badgers it's their house symbol after all." James added coolly. Lily was flustered now. Amber Rose detested the nickname, yet seemingly withheld to compose her face.

"Shut up James! Can't you be serious for once?" Lily huffed.

"But I am Sirius." James smirked. Amber Rose snorted at the pun. Felix seemed to be the only one remembering his mother was very unimpressed at the moment.

Hermione cleared her throat. All banter died down and the attention returned to her. She went over to Lily and gave her a reassuring rub on the back. "Rose is right. And I love that you enjoy reading as much as I do pumpkin but you do need your sleep." Lily nodded.

"Shall I continue?" Lily looked up her big brown eyes unsure.

"Yes please, and I promise not to get too angry" she smiled at the rest of her children, they all visibly relaxed. Late nights came with the job description and she could get a little mad sometimes, thankfully she wasn't so tired.

"Well I found it odd that Amber wasn't playing any music, she usually does." Amber Rose averted her gaze, "It helps me sleep." she mumbled in her defense.

"Probably some romantic mix tape from darling Lysander –" James drawled as he batted his eyelashes.

A swift thump and groan was all they heard in reply as Amber accurately flung her pillow at his face. Her cheeks were a lovely shade of rose.

"OW! Mum she –"

"Fair play." Hermione stated matter of factly.

"Aww Jamie maybe Roxanne can come kiss it better?" Amber sing songed sweetly, she looked quite innocent despite the smirk forming at her lips.

"W-what? No!" James turned a brilliant shade of red that would've done Gryffindor proud.

"Wocksy" Felix clapped happily. It seemed like both boys took a shine to Roxanne Weasley. While James groaned into the tell tale silence.

Hermione waved Lily on, mainly to get to the bottom of the story and to put an end to his embarrassment. "Please do continue."

"She'd left the door ajar so I went to close it. Only I could see Felix's door was ajar too. So, naturally I went to check on him." Although she was only ten, she took great pride in being a big sister. "He couldn't sleep so I picked him up and that's when I heard these two arguing over her headphones."

"Your ears – I mean hearing must be top notch. I'm surprised you could see at all. Aren't you as blind as a bat – Sorry badger?" James queried while absently correcting himself.

"I'm not blind! –" she began to splutter.

"Well you're as good as… you did inherit dad's eyesight Jeanie." Amber Rose winced sympathetically.

"You're both extremely loud! Wait, James did you imply that I have big ears?" Lily challenged indignantly.

"Well –"

Hermione nearly snapped her neck as she graced James with a fleeting look. She dared him to finish that sentence. Lily's face was aghast and soon her rising temper would turn into a full blown tantrum if they foolishly kept adding fuel to the fire.

"There's nothing wrong with getting into Hufflepuff. As for you and daddy, I think you both look rather cute with your glasses." Hermione intervened as she started soothingly plaiting her daughter's jet black hair over her ears.

"Of course you do she's your daughter you have to say that." Amber Rose breathed exasperatedly.

"Well thank goodness I don't wear glasses..." James squirmed to himself.

"Ugh James!" Amber Rose caught his implication and shoved him before scooting well away from him.

"Oh grow up." Hermione scoffed as she went and seated herself at James's desk, and silently spun round to critically face each one of them in turn.

"I would like think you aren't that shallow or immature James, although I often have to remind myself you're a teenage boy." he looked down shamefaced.

"Lily Jean, you pride yourself with knowledge but that won't always be of help to you. Sometimes you're going to have to break the rules." she was solemnly letting the words sink in.

"Rose, is right. I think all of my children are beautiful. Yet I know that's down to what's on the inside." Amber Rose hugged her knees to her chest.

An air of dejection hung over them until Hermione decided to speak next, "Felix, you're mummy's little man. Stay exactly as you are. Infact don't ever grow up. I expressly forbid it." she sighed.

"Hey! What about us?" James pouted as he descended his bunk bed.

"Yeah – mummy!" Amber Rose grinned and took the shortcut, landing a stealthy jump.

Lily rolled her eyes up into her fringe, "Age shouldn't be an issue of entry, and for instance, I wonder how you two made it into Hogwarts?"

"Aww, you jealous Lil?" James waggled his eyebrows at his younger sister eliciting a laugh from her.

"One more year Jeanie then he'll be out numbered." Amber winked as she squeezed Lily's shoulder.

"You're all my special babies." Hermione group hugged them all amidst the countless objections only Felix laughed delightedly at the addition.

Hermione freed them, and stood abruptly as she brushed herself off, "Fine. I guess I can't interest adults such as yourselves with a bedtime story."

In no time; she was laughing as James assaulted her cheek with kisses, Amber administered a bone crushing hug which rivaled her own, Lily's squeaks of excitement as she danced around her and Felix gently clung to her leg as he looked up at her with his imploring eyes.

"Stohwy pees mama."

"Alright, everyone take your places." she huffed breathlessly though the corners of her mouth curled upwards.

They assumed their usual positions; James settled himself on the lower bunk and covered himself in Teddy's grey Winchester Wolves duvet, Amber ran and grabbed Lily's yellow Holyhead Harpies beanbags, a present from Aunt Ginny, and set them near Hermione's feet before seating herself on a pillow by the base of the bunk bed so that she leant against its frame. Lily thanked her and sunk into the plush depths. Felix was in her lap nestled against her chest contentedly.

She took Harry's glasses and perched them on her nose. "Now which story will it be? One, two or three? –"

"Goblet of Fire! Hands down." James exclaimed as he fluffed Amber's wild mass of hair.

"As I was about to state, anything after three is too violent. Next suggestion."

"Prisoner of Azkaban! Oh I do wish Hagrid would give us a lesson on hippogriffs." Amber Rose sighed somewhat dreamily.

"Ooh Lysander would you like to ride with me?" James squealed in an overly girlish imitation.

"Oh Roxanne? James – keeps – inexplicably – hurting – himself." Amber Rose chose to retort physically as she decided to punctuate each word with a firm slap to his forehead.

"Already I can see that will be a problem to recount." Hermione responded dryly as she eyed the two teens.

"For educational purposes, I suggest Chamber of Secrets since mum solved that mystery." Lily piped in obviously aiming to flatter her dear mother into agreement.

"Boring!" Both Amber and James chorused in unison. Though Hermione could tell; that with James it was purely out of her lack of action that year, as for Amber Rose, she shared her Uncle Ron's immense arachnophobia. So, giant acromantulas were definitely off the agenda. Lily decided to embellish her argument.

"Felix what do you reckon?" she whispered to her son, and she watched as Felix seemed to ponder as best as he could though it was hard when all three of his siblings were vying for his apparent vote. He twisted round and held up one finger.

Instantly they all shut up.

"When mummy met daddy!" Lily squeaked enthusiastically.

"Such a ladies man." James rolled his eyes in pretend annoyance, though his eyes twinkled fondly with memories of their own.

Amber sighed once again as she clutched her end of the grey duvet, completely unaware that her inner romantic was showing.

"Good choice." Hermione smiled.

And so she retold the story of her youth from the beginning, she recalled the moment a certain bushy haired buck toothed girl met the bespectacled scrawny legend of a boy, Harry Potter. Along with brilliant impressions from James, who mostly mimicked Ron which had them in fits of giggles, Hermione even resorted to making him a temporary redhead. First to fall asleep was Felix, who had had too much excitement for one day. Amber was next, with her head back on the mattress and her hair fanned out across James's bed. Lily fought sleep stubbornly her eyelids drooped traitorously and she succumbed soon after, her body haphazardly lay in the shape of a star fish. Lastly, she surveyed James. He was lying facedown cushioned by the pillow that was unmistakably Amber's hair. She took it as a good sign that he hadn't suffocated yet and his breathing was even. Hermione never reached the end of her tale, though she never could tell with James, he was always a bit harder to read like a certain someone she knew. Hermione chuckled at that that as she switched off the light and opened the door.

"Thanks mum." A soft sleepy voice called from the shadows.

"Goodnight sweetheart." She smiled in the direction just in time to see James silhouette flop back down to resume sleeping.

Harry awoke surprisingly well rested to find his wife, completely out of it. For a moment he watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. Her chestnut curls were sprawled over both their pillows in reckless abandon, he bent down a pressed a kiss to her forehead. As he picked up his glasses from the bedside drawer and checked his wristwatch. It read 12:15 pm. What on earth? This must be one of those rare episodes' he thought. The ones where she slept in till ridiculous hours of the day; the Hermione he knew and grew up with was and is ever the early bird, their children took after him in the sleep department though, late nights meant late mornings. Well, all except for Lily. Right now his house was unbelievably quiet; he was thoroughly stumped and a little amused.

Harry walked through the soundless corridors, he was in need of caffeine but before he wandered downstairs. He checked his youngest sons' room first; Felix was nicely tucked in asleep in his crib. He ventured on and found the girls' room empty, yet hit the jackpot with his eldest son's room. James had burrowed under the sheets hidden out of sight. Amber's head was visible though she'd wrapped herself up in a strange cocoon of some sort with the duvet and Lily lay face up at his feet on her molded beanbags; her body in the shape of a star jump, and her blanket wound like a turban atop her head. Harry blinked, shook his head and closed the door. These rare episodes also seemed to affect his kids. Heck, they were a rather abnormal lot but 'Merlin, when did they start sleepwalking?'

He checked his watch again 12:30pm. Surely by this time, James and Amber would've had at least two fights? One argument involving the bathroom and then both would've gone their separate ways. James would most likely go over to the Burrow have lunch there and play Quidditch with the guys, Roxanne would be over taking lessons from Amber in muggle technology in exchange for some new wizarding bands' and Weasley Wizarding Wheezes contraband. Hermione would spend her day in Flourish & Blotts or making some public appeals and donations to the S.P.E.W foundation or writing up some cases and legal contracts regarding the Care of Magical Creatures. Lily would be busy reciting Hogwarts: A History and asking a thousand questions per second about said castle and curriculum. Felix would be spending his day being spoiled by Molly and Arthur or being indulged in troublemaking lessons by Teddy. Harry prayed it was the former, for the last time Teddy taught Felix how to pronounce Lily's name at The Burrow it had backfired – spectacularly. That night Lily unfortunately became 'Willy!' It was hilarious, Ron had choked on his butterbeer and half the table had to be excused, and their laughter of course, could be heard from the outside. Hermione was not at all amused neither was Lily.

The peace was strangely uncomfortable as he padded back towards their bedroom. Mission: Caffeine long abandoned. He stopped to ponder 'Just what in the world could he do now?' He very well couldn't clean the house as there was no actual physical mess seeing as all occupants were asleep. Besides it was the weekend and muggle chores were specifically doled out to all the kids, even little Felix was learning to put away his toys. Sure they complained at times but it was good and fair that they grew up knowing the best of both worlds, it was a rule Hermione wholeheartedly agreed with. Harry smiled fondly. Maybe he could let them off just this once? He'd just grab the hoover, that would wake them up he chuckled. Incidentally, the smile slid off his face as he hastily withheld his train of thought. 'Harry, mate do he really want to face the wrath of an 'accidentally awoken' Hermione?' Ron's cautionary voice echoed in his mind. Harry shuddered inwardly, he wasn't stupid had learnt his lesson a long time ago.

Alternatively, he reached the door and made to grab the door handle. Without a second thought climbed back into the warm inviting bed, a few more hours extra sleep wouldn't hurt.

It was the weekend after all.

- ONE HOUR LATER…

"JAMES YOU IDIOT! YOU DROOLED IN MY HAIR AGAIN!" Amber Rose's screech reverberated throughout the entire house along with her pounding fists on the bathroom door.

"What was that? Oh, you have a date with Lysander!" he replies loud enough to notify the neighbors. At this, Harry imagines the bathroom window is unabashedly open.

"I-SWEAR-TO-GOD, APOLOGISE NOW–" she hisses trying to regulate her breathing.

"Anger is so unattractive. Just chill Ambrose, get mum to fix it." James lilts back lazily.

"GET OUT OF THE BLOODY BATHROOM SO I CAN HEX YOU INTO OBLIVION!" she shrieks.

"Language Rosie." Lily admonishes calmly, forever the pacifist.

"Yes, language Rosie." James repeats though the barricade of door.

Amber Rose screams now obviously at the peak of fury and Harry warily realises the sound of breaking china is coming from downstairs.

"Amba Wose mad." Felix giggles gleefully from somewhere in the corridor craziness.

"God, I'm too old for this." Hermione moans into her pillow before decidedly silencing the world and covering her face with his own, her movements still once more.

"Kids." Harry yawns then stretches as he grabs his glasses and slips on his robe.