Title: Inner Justification?
Summary: After their family dinner Jamie and Danny have a heart to heart about Danny being suspended for the shooting Post ep 2.02 'Friendly Fire' (contains some spoilers)
Disclaimer: Um you know by now write? Lol
A/N: Okay we need more brotherly stuff in these eppies and am hoping for some during the season (more than one eppy please Bluebloods writers!) and yes there was so much Danny/Linda goodness in this but I wanted to just focus on my boys and hope that's okay.
"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy."
"I raised your father the way he raised you – to know the difference between right and wrong. Almost sorry I did. Jamie, what's botherin' you?"
"Nothin'."
"Hey, don't think I still can't sweat a guy," Henry lightly teases his grandson in the kitchen after dinner.
"I made this robbery collar, pulled him out on his ass but um….never saw this coming."
"What's goin' on?" Henry continues to press.
"Renzulli wasn't to happy about it, because I didn't draw my weapon."
"This perp…was armed?"
"No…but we thought he might have been. Turns out it was just his hand in his pocket."
"Well you're lucky you were riding with Renzulli and not me…I woulda knocked your teeth in," Henry tells him straight up, forcing Jamie to look up in a bit of surprise.
"Guy wasn't armed," Jamie insists.
"Why did you hesitate?" Henry presses. "Come on Jamie…"
"What if I hesitated to draw for the wrong reason? Two cops…two Reagan cops involved in a shooting in the same week."
"You're thinkin' like a lawyer," Henry replies after a heavy sigh. "Look," he starts out in a firm tone. "You're comin' into your own as a cop, you're improvising – that's good. But when you're out on the job you can't be thinking about what your brother did or who your father is. You do your job – understand?"
"Yes grampa," Jamie whispers his reply.
"Like they used to tell us at the Academy, better you should have to explain to the DA why you shot a guy than have someone have to explain to your family why you didn't."
"Grampa's right son," Frank's voice is heard. "Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6. I'm most proud of you when you come home safe."
Jamie can only offer a weak nod to his father and grandfather as he finishes putting the food away and then quietly slips outside into the cool evening air, picking up the stray basketball and absently tossing it into the air.
"Stupid…" he berates himself as he aims the ball into the air and misses the net, unaware of the audience he now has.
"Blaming the ball for your bad aim isn't fair," Danny's voice teases his brother, prompting Jamie to catch the ball and then look at his brother with a frown.
"Think you can do better?" Jamie retorts as he firmly tosses the ball toward Danny. "Here...knock yourself out!"
"Whoa there little Reagan," Danny smirks. But when he only gets a narrowed gaze from his brother he lowers the ball and frowns. "What gives? I'm the one under the hot seat here…remember?"
"Sorry," Jamie huffs as he merely nods in agreement and then turns to leave.
"Hold…on a sec," Danny's arm shoots out and grabs his brothers, impeding his escape. "What happened in there? I know you went to help grampa with the leftovers, dad went in there and then you came out here…are you grounded or somethin'?" Danny lightly jokes, bringing a small smile to his brother's face before he pulls away.
"I made a bad call on the streets."
"Seems to be the family theme of the week," Danny huffs as they both sit down on the stone ledge lining the driveway.
"Right...so that's why I'm mad."
"Uh last time I checked your name wasn't in the news nor are you under IA's thumb."
"Danny..."
"Unless you are and I don't know about it?" Danny counters.
"No...nothing like that."
"You kill a guy we don't know about?" Danny presses.
"No."
"Complained about your drycleaning bill?" Danny smiles and Jamie's face relaxes. "Talk to me...it's just us and the net...no one else around."
"Danny."
"Please?"
Jamie looks at the pleading in his brother's eyes and feels his stomach tighten. He wanted to talk to Danny, but was also a little afraid of being berated once again for a bad call on his part.
"I...I can't. It's no big deal."
"Seems like a big deal, at least to you. Not good to go to bed like this and then take it out on the streets or your partner, trust me I know all too well," Danny concedes with a sigh. "Are you afraid I'll..."
"It was a stupid mistake and I don't want to hear about it again."
"I give you my word," Danny offers in sincerity. "Talk to me okay?"
Jamie looks at him and after a few seconds, finds himself wanting to give in; wanting his brother's listening ear and guidance. Danny was always so busy with his wife and sons; neither of which he would ever fault him for, so to have his time really was something he wanted. But he also didn't want to seem still the struggling rookie i his brother's experienced eyes.
"I have been there okay...made mistakes too. I was you once before, remember? Now what is it...don't make me sit on you to get the truth out like I did one time before," Danny playfully challenges.
"I let you and...okay fine," Jamie finally agrees. "When you shot that guy…did you um…"
"What? Regret it?"
"No…did you hesitate?"
"No…maybe if I…no see you can't do this and neither can I. I regret being on the street last night without my badge and against orders, but the shot. I regret that it's a cop and he's um…no…no I can't. I went with my training and if I hadn't, Jackie woulda done the same as me. We are only sitting here discussing it because it's a cop – a good cop," Danny gently swallows. "That's the job. We can sit here and try to justify our actions either way but all we are doing is trying to make ourselves feel better for our own mistakes."
"I guess," Jamie sighs as he picks up a small blade of grass and then tosses it into the air.
"What's really going on? Why are you out here stewing…that's my job," Danny's fist gently punches Jamie's arm.
"I hesitated on a call…I um…I thought if I just shot first and asked questions later…"
"Like I did?" Danny snaps and then quickly recants. "Sorry."
"I didn't want dad to have us both suspended or under an IA investigation."
"Ah and lemme guess, grampa gave you his you gotta be your own man speech and that stung because you are the family's know it all golden boy and now you are out here sulking."
"I am not," Jamie retorts, shaking his head as he looks away. "But yeah…something like that; said I was thinking like a lawyer instead of a cop. He gave the same to you?"
"Minus the lawyer stuff. Second year on the beat…there was this call to a drunken nightclub. I was green, brash and whatever…you know tryin' to make a name for myself and get out from dad's shadow. The call went south and then the next thing I know, my loud mouthed partner is spoutin' off about me not doin' things the way my old man would and so forth. Next call I hesitated…wonderin' if its um…what dad woulda done."
"And?"
"And my then partner took one in the thigh and to this day can't walk without a cane. All because I hesitated. I let his stupid words get into my head and it nearly cost him his life. You can't worry about me or dad…"
"Or anything else. Just act or I'm dead…I see that now," Jamie sighs as he looks over at Danny with a frown.
"Renzulli mad?"
"Read me the riot act," Jamie replies with a heavy sigh. "I guess I had it coming. I just…he wasn't armed."
"Did you know that at the time?"
"No."
"No," Danny repeats. "Just like I didn't know it was a cop I was shooting at, running toward us with his waving gun in the air not answering back," Danny continues with a weary tone. "At least you just got read the riot act. I have to live with a tense wife and nosey kids," Danny smirks.
"Linda always has your back," Jamie mentions with a smile. "You're lucky that way."
"We always have yours, you know that right? So no matter if you would have shot this guy and he was only pulling out a stick of gum, your partner would have backed you as mine did me. The family…we'll always be there for you just like…"
"Dad…"
"Dad answers to the city and if he is seen in the public eye, aka the media," Danny pauses, "as showing me favoritism then they'll crucify him and me. I shouldn't have been out there last night…plain and simple. I broke the rules and that I expect him to uphold…for any of us. Remember when your gun went missing. Dad didn't pull any strings and did you expect or even want that?"
"No," Jamie answers meekly. "Just seems like there's so much tension with everyone and I um…"
"Didn't want to add to it right?"
"Yeah."
"Always been your MO kid…always wanting to keep the peace and make sure everything is all sunshine and roses."
"And that's bad?"
"Just you…bad or not," Danny shrugs. "I guess it's a little more complicated for me."
"Why's that?"
"I got Linda and the boys to worry about…truth is I was in a pissy mood that morning and shouldn't have allowed my emotions to flare up so easily."
"But we can't always stay home when we are in a bad mood."
"No…no we can't but we can force ourselves to keep our emotions in check before things really get out of control," Danny admits with a heavy sigh. "That woman had me riled up and maybe…maybe we'd be laughing over the lame hockey score as opposed to this…sitting here trying to justify our actions if I had kept my anger in control."
"I just didn't want to shoot," Jamie utters in exasperation. "But I know I was wrong. If he had a gun…I would be dead."
"Now you see why grampa worries."
"About us?"
"Sure…he's got three, dad's got two and me…I got one."
"One what?"
"One Reagan on the street to worry about. That'd be you," Danny looks at his brotherly squarely. "But no matter how long you sit here and try to talk yourself either in or out of your actions – it's done. No justification needed; from yourself or anyone else. Lesson learned."
"And for you?"
"I'm just praying we find the SOB that started this whole damn thing," Danny groans.
"Yeah…me too," Jamie admits as he lets out a heavy sigh and then leans back slightly. "Think I got good instincts?"
"Okay hey now…we can talk about protocol and argue police politics all night but you know you have them – don't start doubting them."
"Danny…"
"Uh…one more word and I'm gonna hafta…" Danny starts as he hops off the ledge and picks up the ball. "Kick your ass – on the court."
"Yeah…right," Jamie slightly snickers, drawing a small cross expression to his brother's face. "You?"
"Oh what you sayin' I can't beat you…at this?"
"That's what I'm sayin'," Jamie chuckles back.
"Come on then Steve Nash."
"Steve Nash?"
"You're the same height," Danny goads. "Come on twinkle toes and get up here and prove me wrong."
"Danny…"
"Don't make me force an apology for the lame self-doubt comment outta you. Now mover your ass Harvard," Danny teases Jamie, calling him by the pet name he had used when Jamie was in law school.
"Alright…but you might be sorry," Jamie playfully warns as he gets off the ledge and then heads toward his brother. Danny bounces the ball a few times and then heads for the court, warm bouts of laughter now emanating from them as they engage each other. Jamie grabs the ball as Danny goes to shoot, forcing Danny to gently curse but then laugh as he tries to take the ball back.
"Still think you can beat me?" Jamie goads.
"I'll get you for that," Danny replies as he lunges at his brother.
Frank looks down from the kitchen window, Henry flanking his side. He watches his two sons laughing and acting more like the two friends he knows rather than the strained siblings he witnessed before dinner.
"Think he'll be okay Francis?"
"Which one?" Frank questions, his eyes still fixed on his sons.
"I guess…both."
"Yeah pop," Frank replies with a smile as he watches Jamie pass the ball to Danny who dunks it and then give each other a high five. "I think they're both gonna be just fine."
THE END!
A/N: I really did miss more of my Jamie in this but loved the scene in the kitchen and wanted to carry on him and Danny talking and really growing their bond. I hope you all liked this and please review before you go and thanks in advance.
PS: I hope you'll also all check out my newest Jamie/Danny story 'A Darker Shade of Blue' just posted. Thanks!