Itachi Hokage?
Chapter 1: The Reign of Uchiha
A/N: Ok, some characters may be out of character, so bear with me. This story is supposed to be humorous. I came up with the idea with my friend Gaara of Sunagakure. It's a long story; so I won't get into it.
Disclaimer: Everyone should be well aware by now that I do not, have not, nor ever will own Naruto or and character in it.
"You know, I have always liked bread," Itachi remarked one day to his secretary. When the Hokage received no answer, he continued.
"It has substance, character even. And you know what else?" The man raised his blood red eyes in question.
"What?" Sasuke ground out. Itachi smirked and continued, "It doesn't mind dying. Bread is a shinobi in many ways. I hope that through this conversation you have received enlightenment. Now, send in my guests."
Sasuke turned on his heel and reached for the door.
"Sasuke."
"What?" Sasuke almost screamed.
"You forgot to bow. It is polite," Itachi said with a hint of laughter. Sasuke gritted his teeth and turned to his brother, bowing.
"Now you may go," Itachi said with a wave of the hand. Sasuke marched out of the office and slammed the door behind him.
'I really need to consider killing him. So disrespectful to his elders, yet, I think I would rather him live. Yes, he will live and suffer as my secretary. AND ALL SHALL FEAR MY RATH!' Itachi thought happily.
However, the Hokage got too excited and began to speak his thoughts. Well, actually he screamed them.
"AND I SHALL RULE THIS VILLAGE WITH AN IRON FIST! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Itachi stopped his tirade when a small cough grabbed his attention.
"Hokage, your guests are here," Sasuke said snidely. Itachi glared as his brother left and gestured for the Hyuga clan to sit in the chairs in front of his desk.
Hiashi Hyuga and his kinsman sat down quickly and regarded Itachi with a mix of fear and respect. Itachi smirked and motioned for the leader to speak.
"Hokage, we thank you for allowing us this time to speak to you of strategy and village-
"Hiashi, are you going to tell me what it is that you want, or are you going to bore me all day with formalities?" Itachi interrupted coldly.
He felt proud of himself for leaving "the old fart" speechless, and as a reward he promised himself another hour to torture Sasuke.
'I really need to do something with that brat,' he mused silently while looking at the still silent Hyugas.
He glanced over all the elders, but three random kids caught his attention. They were all Hyugas, but they seemed to be completely different from the elders as well as each other.
The male of the three had hair that Itachi deemed too long. It was pulled back in a pony-tail, and he wore his family's traditional robes. Itachi smiled inwardly at the boy's expression of hate. The youngest female also wore robes, and her expression was dark as well. Itachi smiled once more, but it turned into a frown when he noticed the shy girl beside the other two. She was dressed like a Hyuga, sitting like a Hyuga, and looked like a Hyuga; but she lacked a sense of confidence. She stared at the empty ground, a shy smile on her lips. The Hokage rolled his eyes and suddenly realized that Hiashi was speaking.
"We have come here to ask you to accept a gift from our clan," Hiashi was saying. Itachi gazed at the man and replied lazily.
"What kind of gift?"
"Well, Neji of the Branch Family is a great ninja. We would be honored if you would accept his services as a peace offering between us. We want to show you our allegiance to you. You have only been Hokage for two weeks, and you need willing arms to help you," Hiashi replied.
Itachi gazed at the hate filled boy once more and rolled his eyes.
"That's not enough to prove yourselves loyal. He is of a lesser branch. His talents may be great, but he is one of your cast a ways. I require more," He replied evilly. Itachi noticed that all eyes stared at him in a mix of horror and shame. He smirked and leaned back in his chair.
"What do you require?" A small voice asked. Itachi smiled at the change of speaker and regarded the shy girl from before.
"Who are you?" he asked her. The fifteen year-old fidgeted slightly before answering, "I am Hinata, the heiress." Itachi noticed Hiashi fidget and smiled.
"I require both the cast a way and the heiress. Leave them here, and you will be proven loyal," he said. Itachi grinned at the horror on Hinata's face and looked at the thunder struck Hiashi. Finally the man nodded. He stood and bowed to Itachi, as did the others. Itachi smiled as he thought of how to torture his new recruits.
"Father, please," Hinata pleaded. Hiashi glared at his daughter and replied, "Stay here, Hinata. Hanabi, let's go. Fair well Hokage."
And then the Hyugas left. Hinata looked from Neji to Itachi. Both were staring at her. Neji glared at his weaker cousin, and Itachi simply stared at her curiously. Hinata instinctively moved away from Neji, and bumped into Itachi's desk. The Hokage raised an eyebrow, and she stepped back a bit.
He smirked and began to think. Finally an idea on how to best torture his "employees" came to him. He called Sasuke in and addressed them all.
"Ok, here is the new plan. Hinata is my secretary as of now. Neji is to organize all missions for me and then give the files to Hinata. Sasuke, you are now the gardener. Now, I am going out for a walk. I expect everything to be in order once I return." The Hokage smirked as he left his office. He strutted down the street and hummed a happy tune as children ran from him.
He contented himself on the knowledge that he had given the teenagers jobs that would become unbearable to them. He laughed amusedly and ducked into the ramen stand for a meal.