A.N. Title belongs to Eminem and characters belong to J.K. Rowling. AU. Enjoy and R&R!
Draco grasped the silk sheets in his hands. His body covered in a light sheen of sweat as the skinny bleach blonde with fake tits rode him. The regular end to a Saturday night for the 23 year old. She moaned loudly and he longed to strangle her thin, pale neck. Cindy or Shelly, whatever her name is clawed at his chest with her perfectly manicured nails, causing small red welts to appear. He finished quickly and pushed the woman off him, yelling for her to get out of his flat.
The blonde grabbed a cigarette with clammy hands and lit it, taking a long drag while walking out onto his balcony. The lights of London illuminating the night sky. Being named after a constellation he always preferred the night, dreaming of one day being in the stars, in a place where he belonged. He stared for a few minutes, hours maybe. Draco didn't keep track of time anymore. There was no point for him, he didn't want to be reminded of all the time he's lived in hell. Glancing, a glimmer of silver caught his eye, he picked up the cold object and held it close to his heart. His only salvation in this world, his only escape since she left.
2 years earlier
Walking down the streets of Hogsmeade Draco Malfoy stared at the ground. He held no desire to look up, to see the stares of the world, glaring and hateful. The Malfoy's were looked upon in contempt since the end of the war four years earlier. Lost in his thoughts he walked straight into a small person.
"Hey, watch it!" a feminine voice yelled.
Draco looked up to see an angel. A petite red haired, brown eyed girl looked straight at him, but not with hate. No, more of a wondering look.
"Sorry Weasley," he muttered, stocking off.
They met again a week later in muggle London. Draco preferred the muggle world now, nobody knew him. She was with the mudblood Granger shopping for dresses. Supposedly she was marrying the Weasel King and Ginny was the maid-of-honour. They talked a bit while the frizzy haired brunette was trying on at least a million wedding gowns.
He learned that Potter was dating some Australian bimbo named Bridget and Ginny had briefly dated his old friend Theo about a year ago but had mostly stayed single.
Draco was much the same, his betrothed Astoria Greengrass had run off as soon as she graduated Hogwarts with some Quidditch player from Mexico and Pansy married Goyle. He rarely dated, mostly just one-night stands with both muggle females and witches.
They kept in touch and Draco quickly fell in love for the first time. Growing up love was a foreign thing, it meant you were weak. His father never played with him or attended his piano recitals as a child. During Hogwarts his mother would send him sweets but she would never hug him at home. His parents never held him while he cried. He was alone until Ginny walked into his life.
They kept quiet about their relationship, not even their parents knew. It was their little secret. She would hug him when he was down and kiss his wounds better. She was everything he ever wanted. She had been touched the war, she wasn't as innocent as her family thought. She would share about her time down in the Chamber of Secrets and he would tell her about his 6th year and life as a reluctant Death Eater. They had each other, they were in peace.
She gave him her virginity after two months. He never thought that sex could be so intimate, it was always just a form of release before. Ginny told him she loved him after they were done and he could of cried. They made love well into the morning.
Their first fight was after six months. It was surprising considering their clashing personalities but they almost never argued. Harry Potter broke up with the bimbo and was showing an interest in his Ginny. Draco could have killed someone, all he saw was red. When she came home an hour later the apartment was trashed and found him on the bathroom floor, his hand bleeding and the mirror smashed. He found the letter from Potter for her. She screamed and cried about him invading her privacy, he yelled and smashed anything within arms reach, accusing her of cheating. They made up 5 days later and after shagging while she slept he played with her hair before whispering in her ear. 'Please don't ever leave me.'
The first time he suspected something was wrong was during their one year anniversary. Ginny had come home late, dinner was cold and Draco had locked himself in his room, staring at the ring in his hand. She knocked on the door and he hid the piece of jewelry in his trousers pocket. Her hair was messy and she smelt of cologne. Denying that anything happened Draco reluctantly believed her. He would do anything for her. The blonde haired man didn't sleep that night, he just spent it staring at his angel, hoping, begging that they would be together forever.
They went back to normal and three months flew by them, the ring always on his mind. Draco wanted to marry her. He wanted to have children and give them the love he never had. Ginny would make a wonderful mother. Occasionally they would talk about having kids but she never really wanted to talk about it. He understood he supposed, they were still young. He would buy her jewelry and clothes to make her happy but she wasn't the same as she was back when they first started dating. Draco knew she was sad, he thought it was the death of her brother finally taking it's toll. He suggested telling their families thinking that might be what's upsetting her but she grew angry. He didn't like it when she was angry, he just wanted her to smile again.
A year and five months passed since their first date. Ginny wasn't at their flat very often anymore. She said she had to work late and her parents wanted her to stay at the burrow because they didn't see her much anymore. Draco trusted her and always accepted what she said, even if he knew it was a lie. It made her happy. One day he was walking down the same street he met Ginny nearly a year and a half ago and froze. Ginny was standing there laughing with Harry Potter. Ginny hadn't laughed around him in over a month. His stomach hurt, she looked happy for once. He fled the area before he saw anything more.
She broke up with him a month later. Exactly a year and a half since she became his girlfriend. He laughed bitterly at the pathetic excuse of an anniversary. She told him she didn't love him anymore, that she was in love with Harry now. It felt like she ripped open his chest and tore his heart out before stepping on it. He sobbed in emotional pain, pleading for her not to go, to try and work it out. She just gave him a sad smile, her possessions shrunken into a suitcase by her side and left.
He didn't leave his flat for two weeks, barely eating. No one even noticed his absence. The day he finally left his home the Daily Prophet announced that Harry Potter and Ginevra Weasley were once again dating. He went to a club that night and fucked a red haired girl, pretending she was his Ginny.
Five months of pain and misery passed, every night a new women in his bed that he and Ginny used to share. It never filled the hole in his heart no matter how hard he tried.
Still clutching the gun to his heart Draco let the half smoked fag fall to the ground and stared at the stars, the smog and light pollution of London disappearing for a moment. He scribbled down a note letting a tear fall onto the paper lightly smudging the words 'I love you Ginny.' He pressed the end of the cool metal to his temple, his finger on the trigger and smiled softly still looking at the night sky. It was time to go home.