Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Torchwood characters.
"Why Jack? Why Gwen?"
Ianto was in the achieves where he seemed to spend most of his time nowadays. It was a slow day in Torchwood. Toshiko and Owen were catching up on any outstanding paperwork in a bid to get on top of it and Jack and Gwen had gone out to check up on a few recent visitors but nothing worth really worrying about.
"Why can't Owen ever put the files in the right place," Ianto mutters to himself.
He takes out the files, clearly Owens, that had been once again put in the wrong place and Ianto filed them efficiently away in the right place. Ianto was always efficient with everything he did. It was just his way.
"It can't be that hard to do. Even Gwen can manage it," Ianto continues to mumble to himself.
Then with the mention of Gwen, his mind starts to wonder away from what he was currently doing.
"Why does Jack seem to want to spend so much time with Gwen? What is it with her? What could she possibly do for him that I can't? She has Rhys even though he doesn't seem to be enough for her as Owen well knows. She is caring, I know that and so am I. I must have to be to put up with all this. I cater for his every need," he thinks as he slams another drawer shut and the metallic sounds echo through the damp under belly of the Torchwood hub.
"Every time I see Jack, he is always with Gwen. He spends so much time with her, out on jobs together, just the two of them. Always laughing and joking about something, never sharing the joke with anyone else, drinking coffee. My coffee. The coffee I make especially for Jack, his favourite. He seems to spend all his day with her and I never get a look in so I wait for the nights and then he is too busy doing the work he should have done during the day. When is it my time?" Ianto asks himself as he slams the last drawer.
Ianto picks up the files he had gotten out for Jack, what he had gone down there for and he makes the walk through the damp, dark corridors to the main hub area where Toshiko was still sat at her workstation and Owen was still sat in the autopsy room. Ianto walks past Toshiko and stops at the top of the autopsy room.
"Owen! Do you have a natural inability to put files away where they actually belong or do you just do it to wind me up?" Ianto asks him throwing Owen the evils.
"What's wrong with you? Has someone been messing with your coffee machine again or haven't you had any alone time with Jack lately? Release some of that pressure," Owen asks hitting the nail right on the head not meaning to.
"Yeh. That's it. Make fun of me. I'm always the butt of everyone's jokes. Keep laughing. One day I won't be here to sort out the files, make coffee, order the takeaways and clean up after you lot. Then what would you do? Do it yourself? I'd like to see that?" Ianto tells him and Owens face drops at Ianto's explosion and he isn't smiling anymore.
It wasn't very often that Ianto exploded but when he did, he did it big style and the effects of it could be felt for hours, sometimes days later. Ianto storms off to Jack's office, thankful that the door was already open as the mood he was in, he would have slammed it and probably broken it which meant more work for him. He stomps over to the desk and slams the few files he had brought from the archives on top of a pile that was already sat on Jack's desk. Ianto turns and leaves Jack's office, leaving the door open. As he strops through the hub, Toshiko dares to speak to him.
"Jack just called in. he and Gwen are on their way back and request some coffee to be made. Please don't shot the messenger," Toshiko forwards just following orders.
Ianto doesn't even look at Tosh as he passes her and makes his way to the kitchenette.
"Requesting coffee from me after being out with her and then getting Tosh to ask me instead of asking me himself? I'll teach him," Ianto says out loud not caring who heard him at that point.
Ianto fills the kettle and gets all the cups out for the team and puts them on the tray he usually used. Ianto rummages in the back of a cupboard and finds what he is looking for and he pulls it out. It was a jar of instant coffee that was left in the hub kitchenette and when Ianto arrived, he had put it in the back of the cupboard. Ianto hates instant coffee. He had never had a taste for it and never used it and Jack didn't really like it either. He spoons the instant coffee into the cups, adds sugar and then pours the steaming hot water from the kettle in. He adds milk and stirs the cups.
"Let's see how you like this Cooper and Harkness," Ianto angrily laughs to himself as he hides the instant coffee and picks the tray up.
Just as he leaves the kitchenette, the cog door opens and Jack and Gwen walk in laughing about something.
"Is that coffee I smell Yan?" Jack asks knowing full well it was. Ianto always made coffee when Jack asked him too. Jack reaches for his coffee cup but Ianto pulls the tray away from him and continues to the sofa area behind the workstations.
"Why don't you sit down and drink your coffee with the rest of the team sir? You must b
e tired after running around all morning with Gwen," Ianto tells him as he and Gwen sit down and are joined by Tosh and Owen, Ianto resisting the urge to drop the coffee over Jack and Gwen.
Ianto sets the tray down on the low coffee table and steps back as the rest of the team get their cups.
"Aren't you having one Yan?" Jack asks him as he picks his cup up.
"No thank you sir. I have cleaning to do," Ianto replies with a straight face and he leaves the team to it.
Ianto makes his way to the kitchenette but stays close enough to see what happens next. The team have all gotten their cups and they take their first, cautious sip as the coffee was steaming hot. One by one, the team pull faces at the taste of the coffee until it got to Jack. He spat his mouthful out.
"Ianto! What the hell is this stuff? It certainly isn't coffee," Jack bellows but Ianto makes his way over to them at his own pace, making Jack wait.
"What do you mean Sir? It is coffee. It's instant," Ianto tells him, half smirking and half still fuming.
"Since when do we have instant Yan?" Jack asks putting his coffee cup down.
"We ran out of the good stuff earlier," Ianto replies simply standing there, offering nothing other than what he is saying. No emotion.
"Then why didn't you get some more Yan?" Jack asks him and then instantly realises that he shouldn't have said that when he sees a flash of anger streak across Ianto's face.
"I have hardly had the time Sir. I have been collecting files, sorting files that some people insist on putting in the wrong place, like it takes a NASA scientist to work out where they go. Cleaning up after people because god forbid that someone could actually but something in the bin on their own. Calling up for takeaways because someone's finger hurts from clicking onto singles websites and too lazy to press dial. To busy washing, drying and ironing peoples clothes because they never learnt how to do it themselves. Exactly, when would you have liked me to get the coffee sir?" Ianto asks Jack finally finishing his rant, complaining about almost everyone but the storm cloud was still hanging over his head and was almost ready to burst.
"Where has all this come from Yan?" Jack asks not knowing what all this was about.
"It doesn't matter Sir. I will be fine. I am always fine," Ianto replies walking away from the team and to the kitchenette so he could sulk in piece.
"I should have warned you earlier Jack. Ianto has been in a foul mood all day. He had a good at me earlier for putting files in the wrong place and then he went off on one about all he ever does is clean, file, make coffee and get takeaways. He then asked what we would do if he just didn't turn up one day. I have no idea where it came from but he is pissed at someone," Owen explains.
"It's not as though he doesn't do all that for us. Anytime I need something, Ianto is always there at hand and he never complains, never asks for anything," Toshiko replies understanding a little about how he left.
"I have never looked at it that way. I will have to talk to him when I have some time," Jack replies, begrudgingly taking another sip of the instant coffee.
"When was the last time you had time spare never mind for Ianto?" Tosh asks him, looking down into her cup as though trying to work out what it actually was.
"And what do you mean by that?" Jack asks her rather annoyed at the fact that she had dared to challenge him.
"I was just trying to say that you never seem to have any time for Ianto nowadays. Before, you and Ianto were always sat together, drinking coffee, talking and laughing but now, it seems that you don't ever have time for him. You always seem to be with Gwen," Tosh further reveals and she can feel eyes focused right at her.
Owen gets up off the sofa's with his coffee in hand and disappears to the autopsy room not wanting to get caught up in whatever was about to go down.
"What do you mean by that Tosh?" Gwen asks now getting a little touchy herself.
"In the last 3 weeks, how much time have you and Ianto had together, alone? Every time he tries to have some time with you, Gwen is always around and I am not saying that it is your fault Gwen. Before you came, Ianto pretty much had Jack to himself but now, he rarely has any time with him and I think that Ianto is finding it hard. I see it in his face though he tries not to let it affect him. He hands you your coffee and tries to talk to you but you then start talking to Gwen, almost pushing him aside. Go and talk to him because I like having Ianto around and I really don't like instant coffee," Toshiko tells them both before taking her coffee back to her workstation and continuing what she was doing before.
"Do I really do that Gwen? Do I really shut him out like that?" Jack asks her as his heart begins to shatter into a million little pieces, knowing that she would tell him the truth.
"You have been spending rather a lot of time with me lately. I come in, in the morning and Ianto is always pottering around but you can see that his heart isn't in it anymore," Gwen tells him and that is enough to shatter Jack's heart and Gwen can see it in his face and she puts her hand on his knee.
"Go and talk to him Jack," Gwen tells him and then she also gets up and leaves Jack to his thoughts.
Jack sits for a few minutes and thinks about what everyone has said.
"Do I really push him aside and tread all over his heart when I spend so much time with Gwen? Does he really want to leave Torchwood or does he want to leave me? I don't want him to go. I couldn't bare it if he left me here, left me here alone. My nights are so empty without him and I pray for his warm Welsh smile in the morning with my coffee. Do I really take him for granted and not take into consideration how he feels, using him for my own purposes and discard him when I don't need him? What have I done?" Jack thinks as he sits there.
Jack almost jumps up from the sofa.
"Owen, Gwen, Tosh. It's clocking off time and you have 5 minutes to be out of here. If you are here in 5 minutes, you are fired," Jack bellows across the hub so everyone can hear him.
Owen and Gwen didn't need telling twice and they grab their coats and Gwen gets her bag and they leave through the cog door together. Toshiko shuts her computer down first as she didn't really trust anyone else to do it for her without destroying something. Once her computer has shut down, she grabs her coat and bag and starts to leave the hub's main area. As she walks past Jack, he stops her by putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you Tosh," Jack almost whispers into Tosh's ear.
"Any time," she replies and leaves through the cog door and then everything is quiet except the noises coming from the kitchenette.
Jack slowly walks to the kitchenette, taking off his coat and hanging it on a banister that he passes. He also removes he Webbly and holster and hangs it on another railing. He makes his way up to the kitchenette where there are various, angry noises emanating from. He quietly goes into the kitchenette where Ianto is stood at the coffee machine, cleaning it vigorously. He stands behind him and then slowly slips his arms around Ianto's waist, meeting in the middle of Ianto's abdomen and Ianto stops cleaning.
"Why don't you tell me what is wrong and we can take it from there," Jack whispers into Ianto's ear, Jack's breath tickling Ianto's ear but Ianto resist the urge to laugh or giggle.
"Why Jack? Why do you spend so much time with Gwen and never have any time for me anymore?" Ianto asks him in a stern voice but with a slight wobble as the sadness creeps in.
"I didn't mean to spend so much time with her. She just seems to always be there. We have the nights don't we?" Jack asks him still whispering in his ear, tightening his grip in Ianto as to stop him from running.
"But we don't Jack. Not anymore. You are always busy catching up on paperwork that you should have done during the day. During the night, I bring you a coffee and you can't even spare me 2 minutes to ask me if I am ok or even throw me a smile. I feel as though I am the last person in your thoughts and that everyone else comes first," Ianto tells him, his voice getting shakier by the second as the sadness took over.
"I don't mean to make you feel like that. I am just under pressure and I don't want you to feel the pressure I am under. I don't want to take it out on you. I care about you too much to take it out on you. You always come first with me. I couldn't do this job without you and I don't mean you doing everything like the coffee. If I am having a bad day, I can always come to you and you will comfort me. When I am being moody, you always tell me to calm down and you bring me back to the ground. Please don't leave Torchwood. Please don't leave me Ianto," he tells Ianto, a tear running down his cheek, warm and stinging his face.
Ianto turns around to face his lover and he also has a tear running down his face. Ianto puts his arms around his lovers waist and looks sadly into his arms.
"Sometimes Jack, I don't think you know me at all. I would never leave you unless I had no choice. I will always be here for you, always with a cup of your favourite coffee and a smile on my face and a kind word. I just get a little angry and sad when we don't spend time together. I crave you, your touch, your kiss," Ianto tells him feeling Jack's grip tighten, pulling him closer to him.
"Then kiss me Yan. The team has my days but you have my nights and heart," Jack tell him and there lips meet in a gentle, soft, emotional kiss in the middle of the kitchenette.