Note: Okay, so since my last Naruto fluff fic went so well, I thought I'd try another one. Errr…warnings? Yeah…GaaLee (TOLD YOU I WOULD!) And…uh…enjoy…yeaaaahhh…idea for setting goes to my friend Zack.
OMG, this is so horrible, you have no idea…cries It's not even that funny…I just can't write a funny GaaLee… I may try a NejiLee instead sometime…that might be interesting…sorry, sorry it's not funny!
I don't own any of the Naruto characters, nor do I own Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, or any of the other people involved…sad more…crycry…emo…
NaruFluff Take Two
"So, you want to know how our vacation went, hm, Naruto?" asked Lee.
Naruto nodded and sat down beside him, Sasuke sitting on his other side, and Gaara curling up in a chair with a bowl of ramen.
"Alright, well, here's the photo album," said Lee, and he pulled a gigantic album from under the coffee table. "Now then, where to start…"
"Wow, this is amazing!" the green-clad boy said, his eyes shifting around widely. He was in awe, in transgression, in shock and wonderment.
The other boy, clad in dark, crimson red—of the likes of blood—merely crossed his arms and glowered. His eyes shifted over to his companion, brooding and uninterested. "I can't believe we wasted this much time and money to travel half-way around the world to come to a house painted white."
"Oh, Gaara, this is the most beautiful house, don't you think?" Lee asked, stars in his eyes as he gazed upon the green yard and the white house byond.
"No."
He looked over at his companion and shook his head. "Well, even so, we're here, so we need to go and take the tour!"
"Tour? What tour?" Gaara asked as the green-clad boy yanked him towards the house and the tour-group gather out front on the flawless lawn. "Lee, what fucking tour?! You never said anything about a tour! Lee!"
"Shh, Gaara, be quiet or we'll disturb them!" Lee said, holding his finger to his lips as they approached the tour-group. "Let's see this majestic house, full of youth and wonderment!"
Gaara just sighed, letting Lee pull him along the group as the tour guide began to enter the house.
"Ma'am!" Lee shouted, raising his hand into the air.
The tour guide turned to him. "Yes, Sir?"
"How old is this beautiful house of youth?"
"Well, just about over two-hundred years," she replied in a chirpy voice. "Now please, if you'll come this way, I'd like to show you the famous ink-stain!"
As the group headed off, Lee turned to talk to Gaara, but saw the other boy headed back down the hallway and towards the door.
Lee hurried after him. "Gaara? Where're you going?"
"Outside and away from here," he replied.
"But, isn't the door that way?" Lee asked, pointing to their right.
Gaara looked down the hall and narrowed his eyes. "It's this way."
"No, I don't think it is," replied Lee. "I'm quite sure we came from this direction."
Gaara ignored him and continued to walk down the other hallway.
Half an hour later, the two of them were lost. Very lost. So lost it wasn't even funny. Except that it was.
"I told you we should have gone the other way!" Lee said. He wasn't upset. No, he was quite content, latched onto Gaara's arm, his eyes examining the hallways and the pictures with wonder. He was very interested in the house, and as he and Gaara ducked under a rope, he examined another picture and—THUNK!
When Lee came to, his vision fuzzy and out of order at first, he saw a giant blob of red. As his vision came back to becoming normal, he saw that this blob was Gaara.
The aforementioned blob was leaned over his companion, his eyes calm, but worry held behind them.
"You knocked right into the bar," he said, helping Lee to sit up.
Lee rubbed his head and sighed. "I guess that's what one gets for wanting to see such beauty."
"This place isn't beautiful," Gaara replied, mostly to himself, as he helped Lee to his feet. "Can you walk?"
"Yes," Lee replied, and he took a step forward to demonstrate.
Just as he moved his foot, he tripped over the very rope he and Gaara had been crossing under and fell flat on his face.
Gaara crossed his arms and shook his head. "Let's go, then."
Lee jumped to his feet and stumbled after Gaara, grabbing his arm and latching on once more. He looked in and out of rooms as they passed by, asking questions to no one in particular about what was in the room, how old it was, and why it was there.
Gaara just walked down the hallway, neither going left or right.
He could care less what was in this house.
Before long, they had reached a room with the door cracked open.
Lee, being his usual interested and curious self, immediately opened the door to investigate. He froze.
"The hell you doin' in here, boy?" asked a man inside of the room, another man's arms wrapped around his neck. His giant ears and big nose, drooping round face and rumpled black suit told Lee that he was a very important person.
"Oh, leave the poor kid alone, BB," said his companion, and he kissed the other man.
"Fine, Ker," snapped BB, and his eyes shifted over to the two boys. He went and closed the door on Lee, locking them out.
Gaara's face was blue and pale, his eyes wide and horrified.
He felt sick.
Lee rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Well…I guess these are rooms for couples…we should get one, Gaara! Then we could say we made love in the white house of youth like they a—"
Gaara jumped onto Lee and put both of his hands over his friend's mouth. "Shut up, Lee, and let's get out of here!"
He grabbed Lee by the arm, Lee looking through the doors and arguing, "But I really want to—I think it might be best—oh, that room's empty, Gaara! Let's go in there and—you missed; how could you miss?! Look, another—hey!"
They rounded a corner and ended up in a giant, empty bedroom.
The windows were open and a breeze shit through, slamming the door and locking it (we all know outside somewhere, Temari is laughing her ass off).
Gaara grabbed the door handle and began to pull (little does he know, it's a TURNING knob!!), but it just wouldn't open.
When he turned to Lee, the black-haired bishi was already undressing and walking towards the bed, running his hands on the covers. He was smiling happily. "Gaara?" he turned to his companion.
Gaara's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide in terror. "Lee! You can't be serious!"
"Come on, Gaara! I want our first time to be special!"
"In a foreign place, and in a foreign country?!" Gaara gasped. "I don't think so!"
"But, Gaara," Lee said, giving him the infamous Kim-Possible-turned-Rock-Lee puppy-dog-pout. "I really, really, really want to…"
Lee came at Gaara with his Kissy-Face-of-Doom when Gaara didn't respond, and turned into Gai and Gaara woke up and screamed and the end.
Just kidding.
Going back to before…
Let's rewind this a bit…
Chunk, chunk, chunk…
Okay, here we go…pressing play…
"But, Gaara," Lee said, giving him the infamous Kim-Possible-turned-Rock-Lee puppy-dog-pout. "I really, really, really want to…"
Gaara looked from Lee to the bed and back again.
What the hell? He just had to make sure the door was locked and everything was closed… He started to strip as he walked towards Lee.
Lee grinned.
"And this room, ladies and gentlemen, is the Presidential Suit, where our president sleep and takes his baths, just like you and me!" said the tour guide in her normal I'm-way-too-happy-to-be-here chirpy tone.
She jiggled the handle to open the door, but it was locked.
Frowning, she tried again, putting her feet on the door and jiggling harder and harder. Finally, the dumb blonde got smart and pulled a set of keys from her beltloop and unlocked the door, pulling it open.
"Oh, Gaara!"
"Lee, Lee!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
The two boys jumped and turned to see the entire crowd of tourists staring at their naked bodies entwined on the president's bed.
The tour guide promptly fainted, and tourists, as they are what they are, all lifted their cameras and began to snap photos, some of them filming the moment for latter use and amusement and so that they would have these memories forever and always.
Lee and Gaara both turned bright red and rolled out of the bed onto the other side of the room.
They grabbed their clothes, pulled the blankets and sheets around themselves and prepared to hide when the Men in Black came into the room and chased them out towards the tourists.
One mad fangirl grabbed at the sheet Gaara had concealing himself, but missed and cried while all of the old perverted folks continued to snap photos.
Gaara and Lee broke the record of sound as they raced down the hallway and burst out onto the lawn (haha, they should have just run around randomly before to escape, no?).
The MiB continued to chase them down, eventually catching up with them when they reached the fence and weren't able to get out of the yard.
Because Lee and Gaara had been running so fast, the blankets and sheets they had stolen had burnt up, as had their clothes. They both covered their crotches and stared at the MiB as they lifted their Noisy Crickets and commanded, "Put your hands in the air!"
"Do it now!" Will Smith shouted.
"I'll shoot you!"
"He will, he's crazy!" Will added.
"J?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up," Tommy Lee Jones said.
"Kay, boss," he replied.
Gaara and Lee, now completely confused and out of breath, embarrassed, pale, and in Gaara's case, trying not to break into tears, slowly put their hands into the air.
"DAMN," Will commented.
"And that's how our vacation went," said Lee, showing Naruto the last picture of himself and Gaara being taken away in cuffs completely naked.
"I liked those cuffs," Gaara said saucily, licking his lips and curling up in a chair as he ate some ramen.
Naruto just stared at them and then turned to Sasuke, whose eyes went wide the moment the words escaped Naruto's lips, "We need a vacation."