Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"Team Sue." As soon as she said the words, Santana kind of wanted to gobble them back up, but she told herself it was for the best. Sue's answering smirk just confirmed it.
She had hoped she could balance things this year: have fun in glee and do some half-hearted spying to appease Sue, but it looked like Sue was on a laser-honed warpath this year. Plus, now she had Becky to deal with, and she'd need to do something soon to edge her out. The only way this year was going to not suck was if Santana was the sole captain of the Cheerios, and senior prom queen. With Quinn having gone completely off the deep end, Santana knew she actually stood a pretty good chance. She needed this. Last year had been a complete wreck, and she needed to gain back her fierceness.
Maybe ruling as the Queen Bitch of McKinley for her senior year would finally give her the balls she needed to own all of herself. Maybe then she could convince Brittany to be with her. She couldn't try to trick her again; Britt had told her how much that had hurt, and if there was one person in the world Santana couldn't stand to hurt, it was Brittany.
How could she destroy one of the pianos? She couldn't just walk up to one and start hacking it apart with an axe, even though she knew Britt kept a hatchet in her locker in case of fire or gremlin attacks. No, this needed to be executed with more finesse and subtlety. What she needed was information.
Who better to ask for the latest than one of the school's biggest gossips?
"Hey Mulan! Slow your ass down; I gots a question."
Tina rolled her eyes. "If you expect me to answer, you'd better quit with the Asian nicknames now."
Santana smiled sweetly. "Sorry. Tina."
Tina narrowed her eyes at the easy apology and correction. "What do you want, Santana? And before you ask, I'm not lending you money for cigars again. They're bad for your health. And you still owe me twenty bucks."
"I don't want money. I want information," Santana replied, sliding her arm through Tina's as they walked down the hall, "And the only person I could think of to come to was Ms. Tina Cohen-Chang, because you're like the human Wikipedia of McKinley."
Tina glared at her. "Is that another Asian joke? Because not all Asians are smart, Santana."
Now Santana had to roll her eyes. "Oh my God. No, it's not an Asian joke." She breathed through her nose impatiently and swiveled Tina to face her directly. "Look, I just want to know if anyone is planning a special purple piano performance. I figured you were the person to talk to, because you seem to know everybody's business all the time. I'm really excited for glee club this year and Nationals and everything, so I was wondering if anyone could use some back up." She fought to keep the smirk off her face as Tina's eyes softened and she started to smile.
"Well, actually, I do know about something going down Thursday," Tina started, now beaming with pride and excitement, "and it's actually pretty awesome."
Santana linked their arms again and steered Tina down the hall, leaning her head towards her as though they were each other's confidants. "So tell me."
"Okay, but you have to promise not to tell, because it's a big surprise. And he asked me to help arrange it. I mean, normally I wouldn't tell anyone, but if you're going to help him out, I guess it's okay."
"Stop being such a tease," Santana fought to keep the hiss at bay, "who are you talking about?" Please be Finn. I'd love to mess with Tall, Bland and Forehead and ruin a stupid serenade to his dwarf all in one go.
"Blaine!" Tina looked around, and then pulled Santana into the alcove under the staircase. "He's transferring to McKinley. But don't say anything to Kurt! It's a surprise. Isn't that cute? He's going to sing It's Not Unusual to him in the courtyard Thursday at lunch as his introduction to New Directions."
Santana frowned. "Wait, so how do you know about this?"
"I told you; he asked me for help. Ever since we did that number for junior prom, we've been hanging out. He asked me to help arrange the song and get the jazz band on board. Blaine said I was the natural choice, since I did such a good job arranging I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance," Tina babbled on, her face lit up with confidence. Santana had to admit it looked good on her. She also made a note that if she ever needed anything from Tina again, the obvious tactic was to compliment her musical talent, which made sense, considering how starved the girl was for recognition and praise in the glee club.
"Thanks T," Santana interrupted Tina's monologue about recording the performance, "It's Not Unusual, huh? Sounds hot. Auntie Tana'll have to look it up and see what help she can offer Kurt's man."
"I hope it works out," Tina replied eagerly, waving her off, "I know he's really excited about it."
Santana smiled and waved back, firmly pushing down that tiny nugget of guilt that had suddenly made its presence known in the pit of her belly.
Santana glanced at the giant clock on the gym building's wall from her seat in the courtyard. Five to noon. She nodded at Quinn, seated with the rest of The Skanks on the concrete steps, surreptitiously. Quinn just took a drag of her cigarette. Don't smoke the whole thing just yet, Pinky Tuscadero. You're gonna need it later.
It was times like these she was glad Sue was such a hard ass bitch and ruled the Cheerios with an iron fist. If the Cheerios weren't so well trained, she had no idea how she'd put together an entire dance routine and teach it to all of them (especially considering a couple of them cheated off Brittany in math class) in two days.
She glanced over at the table most of New Directions was gathered at. Tina winked at her before returning her attention to Mike, who was fiddling with her phone. She had no idea where Brittany was. Her mouth twisted, recalling their conversation two days ago.
"I mean, I just don't think it's very nice to Blaine," Brittany had said, shrugging her shoulders, "He's like a sparkly ray of sunshine, but I don't think rays of sunshine actually set things on fire. Unless you're like, trying to get a tan by standing really, really close to the sun. Plus, I think it would hurt Kurt's feelings. And I'm a water sign. Maybe I could throw a bucket of water on the piano after you light it on fire?"
"Forget it," Santana had muttered, trying to ignore that growing nugget of guilt.
She straightened in her seat as the band struck the opening notes to It's Not Unusual. She swiveled around and located Kurt and his bouncing boyfriend at the top of the stairs on the left. Blaine was wearing, oddly enough, McKinley colors, and she struggled not to appreciate how good he'd look against the backdrop of Cheerio uniforms. He was also wearing what had to be the most ridiculous sunglasses she'd ever seen. He slid down the rail, and Kurt and Rachel followed him down the steps like a couple of groupies.
She wanted to just think that Blaine danced like an idiot, but there was a certain charm to his flailing. She looked past him into the stands and beckoned the Cheerios forth with her hands. She had to smirk when Blaine did a double-take at his new back-up dancers, but he adapted quickly. They had obviously surprised him, but it was as though he found nothing odd about people randomly coming up to support his song with a choreographed routine. Did the guy jump straight out of Grease or something? It's a safe bet, considering all that crap in his hair.
Right on cue, she ran up to join the rest of the Cheerios, grabbing Blaine's shoulder and smirking at him as she ran up the stairs. He met her eyes for a moment. He looked surprised but pleased at her joining in. She steadfastly refused to pay attention to the growing feeling of guilt in her belly, looking away from Tina, who was gleefully recording the whole thing on her phone.
She ran back down the stairs to dance at Blaine's side, showing him the steps of the dance. He was still a little all over the place, but he actually picked the moves up quite quickly. He grinned at her, a flash of white teeth, before glancing back down at Kurt, who was shimmying his shoulders to the beat of the song.
She found herself laughing, having fun, and grinning right back at him. She even slung an arm around his shoulders once or twice. She noted with appreciation the tenor of his voice, and thought it would sound pretty good with hers, wondering vaguely what song they could sing together.
It wasn't until the song started to close that she remembered why she was doing this. She grabbed Blaine's hand and led him around the piano as he belted out the final notes, and then brought him over to Kurt. He took the bait, singing straight to his boyfriend and dancing with him as the Cheerios circled the piano, dousing it with lighter fluid. Blaine was caught up in the song and Kurt, but she could see the ND guys (no doubt watching the Cheerios the whole time) narrowing their eyes. Her palms were all sweaty as she turned around, dismissing that last little moment of doubt from her mind as she watched Quinn tromp down the steps and flick her cigarette onto the piano right when the band finished the final note.
She refused to look at anyone, especially Blaine or Kurt or Tina, as the piano went up in flames. She kept her eyes focused on the blaze. It was for the best.
Santana sat next to Mercedes in the choir room, surveying the damage while Mercedes yammered on about her new hunk of burning love. All in all, things had turned out well. All the pianos were basically destroyed, so hopefully Sue would stay off her back for a while and she could just enjoy glee club. The Purple Piano Project had been a stupid idea anyway, not that Mr. Schue would ever admit that he had basically thrown them to the wolves once again.
As Blaine and Mr. Schue walked into the room, she moved to take a seat by Rachel in the second row. Blaine made an incredibly cheesy speech, but she clapped for him anyways, because at least he didn't sound as self-important as Frankenteen.
She rolled her eyes as Finn prematurely accused Blaine of ball-hogging. What's the matter, Finnocence? Yentl still refusing to hog your balls?
She noticed Blaine frowning as Finn then claimed he had lit the piano on fire. She couldn't believe what an idiot Finn could be. Does he really think Dapper McEyebrows is capable of that kind of delinquency?
"Actually, doorknob, that was an act of political protest," she informed him sweetly.
And then Mr. Schue was saying something and it took her a second to actually pay attention and realize he had just told her to leave. Something stilled inside her.
"Mr. Schue, Sue made me!" Didn't they all understand this arrangement by now? She knew she was hot shit and the glee club needed her (and not only for her looks anymore; she was one of the best singers in the club at this point), and it really was the best part of her day, but she needed Cheerios. And there was a price to pay to stay in Sue's good graces and remain the Cheerios' top ho.
"Brittany didn't do it," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders, staring at her resolutely. It started to dawn at her that he wasn't going to change his mind. She stared back, heart suddenly thudding in her chest. She could feel everyone's eyes on her and forced herself to stay cool.
"Well, yeah, I was gonna help, but, I don't know; I'm a water sign." She could still hear Brittany's voice over the buzzing in her ears.
And now he was saying she was banned. And she had to prove her loyalty…how was she supposed to do that? She felt the panic rising. Wasn't he going to tell her how to do that? Sue always let her know exactly what she expected; she gave very specific orders. Mr. Schue had stopped talking; he was gesturing with his arm towards the door and her hands were gripping her seat and there was a lump in her throat how how could he take this from her she needed it she needed it to feel real and
It was a relief when she slid the mask into place, raising her eyebrows a little disdain.
"You know what?" she asked, tilting her head to the side just slightly, "I could use a break." These tragic losers couldn't handle her anymore? Fine. It was fine. This club was dragging her down anyways.
She kept repeating those thoughts as she stood and walked out the door, head high, full of confidence, still feeling every set of eyes on her.
"You know, good for you, Mr. Schue…" she heard Mercedes say as she rounded the corner into the empty hall, letting her face crumple and squeezing her lips shut to suppress the sound of the shuddering sobs that had started to wrack her body.
She hadn't wanted to start off the next day feeling so shitty. Sue had praised her efforts and told Becky to step up her game, because while the food fight had been effective at dampening the glee club's collective spirit, it had also cost her an arm and a leg in dry cleaning for all the stained Cheerios uniforms.
Still, as Santana slunk towards her Biology classroom, she couldn't fight off the misery. She had missed this morning's glee rehearsal and found herself wondering what had gone on in the choir room and if there was anyone who had been begging for her to cut them down a size. Tina had just passed her in the hall, her eyes shooting daggers. She set her mouth in a firm line. Whatever. New Directions was going to crash and burn, anyways. They were down to nine members now, and she was fully on board with Sue's new order to intimidate anyone who even thought of joining, if only because this tactic would get her in less trouble than stuffing Mr. Schue's tie down his throat.
"Santana!" She huffed out a breath at the uncomfortably familiar voice calling her name and quickened her pace. "Hey, wait up!" Blaine called, catching up to her, despite her rushing.
She turned her head and glared at him. "Oh look, it's Carlton Banks, whiter than ever," she greeted him snidely, "what do you want?"
He actually wasn't glaring back at her like Kurt or Tina might, nor did he look stupefied like Finn or terrified like Rachel. He wore a little smile on his lips and his eyes were light, triangle eyebrows raised. He was apparently set on completely ignoring her fantastic Fresh Prince reference. What a waste.
"I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday."
She pursed her lips before rolling her eyes and glancing away, keeping her pace brisk. "Look. Sorry, or whatever. You were the unfortunate and gullible pawn in a scheme that had nothing to do with you. Sucks to be you. Don't take it personally."
He jogged in front of her and turned to face her, moving backwards, and clearly slowing their pace. "While I appreciate your…apology, that isn't what I wanted to talk about."
She stopped abruptly and crossed her arms. "Well, make it quick, Tribrows. I got much more important shit to do today than listen to you run your trap. And I think we both know I could end you before you could say "I'm addicted to bow ties," she added, glancing disdainfully at the green tie he was currently sporting.
He just smiled at her intimidation tactics. Stop smiling. Why the hell are you so happy all the damn time?
"I just…I wanted to say that I enjoyed performing with you yesterday, despite the flaming piano at the end."
"Still not as flaming as you," she bit out, knowing it was a weak retort.
And then he met her eyes with this look. A knowing look. An overwhelming sense of unease hit her in the chest. He looked at her like that for a moment longer, though, and something in his eyes calmed her down, just a little.
He lowered his voice. "Look, I know that a lot of the time, the reasons we have for doing things are more complicated than they seem to the average bystander-"
"I'm gonna stop you right there," she snapped to shut him up, "I know you think you're like a mini-adult, spewing out sage advice to anyone who will buy it, but I'm not Kurt. I don't need a mentor."
"Kurt didn't need a mentor," he replied calmly, "he needed a friend. Everyone needs a friend." He paused, seemingly unaffected by her withering stare. "Santana, I just wanted to say that if you ever want to work on a song together, not for glee club, obviously-" He cut himself off as her lip began to curl, "- or just to talk. About whatever. Cheerleading. School. Just know that I'm here."
He was still smiling that ridiculous smile and she could feel the corner of her mouth beginning to return it, so she smirked instead, blatantly eying him up and down. "Sure thing, Blainers. I'll let you know the instant I feel like being someone's hag, kay? Now why don't you run off and be a good little lapdog for Kurt. I'm sure you love when he pets you." She grinned nastily as his cheeks colored but the effect was ruined by the look of sympathy he gave her.
"I'll see you around, Santana," he said gently.
She watched as he jogged ahead up to Kurt at his locker and, after glancing around quickly, planted a quick kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Kurt turned the lightest shade of pink, eyes shining, and batted at Blaine's shoulder. She smiled a little, but her lips soon turned downwards when Brittany joined them, grinning from ear to ear and waving little rainbow flags in Kurt's startled face. Blaine laughed and Santana turned away from the sight of them, sneering at an unfortunate member of the Mathletes to distract herself from the added ache in her chest.
AN: I have no idea what "hogging someone's balls" would entail, so I leave that up to your imaginations.