The snow crunched beneath his feet and kept him on the alert. If he heard any sounds but his own, he knew that those annoying Gryffindors James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, were following him. He didn't want anyone to be near him now, especially not James.
James Potter took the love of my life, said Severus Snape to himself as he continued to cross the snowy grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lily was the only good thing in my life and now she's gone.
He refused to admit to himself that he had helped in driving Lily away. He had started to hang out with his Slytherin friends, they called themselves the Death Eaters just like Voldemort's followers and they all aspired to one day be the real thing.
But last year in their fifth year at Hogwarts, Lily had told him that she didn't like his new friends, as if she had any right! She said that they were mean to the other children at the school, that they were bullies. Severus had denied these accusations although his heart had told him that it was true. And when that Potter and his friends had tormented him in front of the whole school at the end of June and Lily had come to his defense, that had been that last straw. He hadn't needed her help, he had been able to defend himself.
Those words were his justification for calling her a Mudblood in front of the watching Gryffindors that had come to egg on his attackers.
She had run away from him then and the Marauders as Potter and his friends called themselves, had followed her into the castle. Since that day almost six months before, Lily had not even acknowledged him in the halls when they passed each other.
A sadness came over Severus as he thought about Lily, hating that he felt so weak and vulnerable when she was concerned in any matter. And he hated feeling weak. The moment he was out of this school, he was going to find Voldemort and ask him to become a Death Eater. He would prove himself to anyone who had ever disbelieved him and that included Lily.
The Half-Blood Prince ploughed on through the snow until he reached one of the corridors that he knew led to the warmth of the Great Hall. Inside, he knew that he would be sitting at the Slytherin table alone until his friends showed up and would have a Butterbeer while he waited. This thought cheered him and he hurried through the snow until he was inside the castle and then sprinted down the many corridors until he was inside the Great Hall.
When he entered, some of the ghosts including Nearly Headless Nick were singing Christmas songs, Muggle ones. It made him smile to know the familiar tunes but he could also see through his dark brown eyes that many a young witch or wizard in the Great Hall with him did not know the songs and so were ignoring the cheerful ghosts by instead immersing themselves in conversation with their friends.
Severus scanned the room and found that not one of his fellow Death Eaters were seated at the Slytherin table yet. With a shock, he wondered if they were going home for Christmas and hadn't told him. They were his friends, they would tell him everything… wouldn't they? He needn't have feared of being alone however, for when he sat down, that Potter and his friends sauntered up and sat down on either side of him. Severus glared at Peter, the only one of the group who was afraid of him. Peter recoiled.
"So, Snivellus, where are your friends?" asked Sirius Black, his long black hair fell into his face and covered for a moment the grey eyes that so many girls, including Slytherin ones, were in love with. Severus looked away nervously and over James' head to where the entrance to the Great Hall was located. He hoped that his friends would be with him soon.
"Go away, Black, before I conjure up a bone so that you can fetch it," he said, somewhat snide. Sirius blanched at the reference to him being an Animagi, most people weren't supposed to know about that and Severus had said it loud enough that a few people were now looking at Sirius oddly.
"Keep your voice down, Snivellus," he warned, coolly. "Or we can go tell Lily that you beat up some first year today by the Black Lake!"
"I did not!" shouted Severus, coming to his own defense. "Don't tell her anything!"
"I thought she didn't matter to you, Snape," taunted Remus Lupin, who leaned in so that Severus felt claustrophobic. "After all, what did you call her?"
"I… I didn't call her anything," stammered Severus and he turned his gaze downwards to look at his folded parchments and his Potions textbook that he held in his hands.
"So you're too much of a coward and a sod to even own up to it?" James Potter clarified. His eyes seemed to bore into the back of Severus' head until all Severus could see behind the lids of his downcast eyes was the face of his personal devil with the messy black hair and cocky attitude. He hated James Potter.
"I didn't call her anything that was not worthy of her," Severus said, much colder. "Now go away. I'm busy."
"Doing what?" asked Peter Pettigrew, who had grown more bold as the others had. "Writing love letters to Moaning Myrtle?" Here, the Marauders laughed as did some of the nearby Slytherins. None of Slytherins besides his fellow Death Eaters actually liked Severus, which made it all the harder for him to defend himself as the Marauders packed on their taunts.
"I wouldn't write letters to that stupid little Mudblood of a ghost even if she was the last thing on Earth!" he retorted. "Moaning and crying all the time, how depressing."
"There's that word again," said Sirius, who had pointed when Severus had said Mudblood. "Getting into some very foul language, aren't you today, Snape?"
"Shove off," was Severus' weak retort. He couldn't stand up to them on his own.
"You love her," Lupin said suddenly and Severus turned to look at him.
"Love who?" he asked warily. The Great Hall seemed to grow silent like it wanted to hear every one of Lupin's whispered words. Through a sheet of his black hair that could never stay clean, no matter how often he showered, Severus could see some of the Gryffindors on the far side of the Great Hall sniggering behind their hands.
"Evans. You love Evans," Lupin clarified. Recognition dawned on Potter's face as Severus felt his face involuntarily burn at her name.
"I don't love her," he said and turned away from both Lupin and Potter. But Black and Pettigrew were both on his left. Severus was trapped. He sighed. "Just leave me alone. Lily and I aren't friends anymore, why do you have to rub it in?"
"Because it's just so much fun!" laughed James. "Who else is as cowardly as you? What makes you think that she'd pick you over one of us?"
"I don't want her to pick me."
"Come off it, of course you do!" Potter continued, his words burrowing themselves under Severus' skin. "But let me tell you something, Snivellus. She won't choose you. She'll never choose you. After all, you called her… a name. And by calling her that name, you lost your only true friend that you ever had in this place."
And with those kind words, the Marauders left Severus to his own devices.
"Don't cry," Severus thought to himself as he felt tears well up and anger brew in the pit of his stomach. "She is nothing to you anymore, a Mudblood, filth, an abomination. Why, she's no better than her idiotic Muggle of a sister Petunia."
"What?" a voice asked harshly and Severus turned around upon the long bench to see Lily Evans standing before him with the Marauders standing behind her. From behind her back, they gave him winks and cocky smiles.
"Sorry?" asked Severus, ignoring them.
"What about my sister?" Lily clarified as her tone became more harsh.
"I didn't say anything about your stupid sister," Severus snapped quickly before he realized what he said.
"You just called her an idiotic Muggle!" Lily pointed out, her red hair that was swept up into a long ponytail swung once against her back as she took a step forwards. "I just heard you."
"I was thinking out loud?" Severus asked.
"Well you must have been," hissed Lily. "And to think that James and Sirius told me to come over here because you wanted to finally apologize for calling me a… a… well, you know what you called me." Her emerald green eyes flashed with defiance as she crossed her arms over her chest and stuck a foot out, looking annoyed.
"Yeah and I already tried apologizing," Severus pointed out. That was true. He had. But then Lily had pointed out the whole Death Eater thing and had pretty much told him to stick his apology where it would never see the light of another day.
"I know but I thought about it over the summer and realized that you might have meant it," said Lily, her voice softening slightly. "So here I am, walking down here and standing behind you when we have already been at school for another four months and you call my sister idiotic."
"Why are you defending her? If anything, you should be agreeing with me," said Severus before he could stop himself.
"How dare you!" Lily bristled, her hair seemed to flame up although he knew that it was just a trick of the light. "She's my sister and is our equal, even if she is a Muggle!"
"But she's so nosy!" Severus pointed out. "You have said so yourself when you're mad at her. Or when we talk about Hogwarts and she tried to butt in."
"So what if she's nosy, she's just curious," Lily countered. "How would you like it, Sev, if everyone else in our town were wizards and witches and you weren't?" When he didn't answer her, Lily smirked.
"That's how Tuny feels every time I leave for Hogwarts," she pointed out.
When Severus still didn't say anything, Lily sighed, frustrated.
"I see you still haven't changed," she said finally, her eyes growing cold once again. "Well, I guess I will see you around." With that, she sauntered off, her black school robes that clung to her small frame billowed behind her. Remus, Sirius and Peter all ran to catch up with her but James hung back.
"Way to mess up again, Snivellus," he said in a whispered sneer. "Just one more push from you that is making her head in my direction." Then he called out to the others and ran to catch up with them, subtly taking Lily's hand as they left both the Great Hall and Severus, making him feel utterly alone.