A/N: This is my first fanfic. I was inspired after reading a wonderful
piece about Miroku, written by another Fanfiction.net member. ^_^ Hope
you all like this. I'm starting with Inuyasha, but I'll include
introspective pieces from other characters in the future.
Introspection
Inuyasha
***
Why do they pierce my heart like this?
She, the one who pinned me to the tree, the one who I once loved and...I think...love still. What happened between us is irreparable, yet still she pursues me, still she seeks to take me with her. As though dragging me down to hell will negate everything she...I...we have done. The bitter hate we held toward each other. Hate that drove us to fight, that drove me to steal the jewel, that drove her to pin me to Goshinboku. Hate that killed her, hate that sustains her now. Hate and anger. Why does she still cause my heart to leap to my throat, my body to quiver, my breath come ragged?
And then she...she who saved me. The one who removed the arrow and freed me from Goshinboku's arms. The one who stays by my side, fights by my side. Why does she stir these feelings in my chest, these tremors only my priestess was ever able to stir? Why does her scent make me tremble, and threaten to unman me? Why this weakness around her?
I am supposed to be strong. I buried my feelings years ago, when my love betrayed me and pierced me through the heart with an arrow of power. I tried to hate her, the woman who sealed me. I tried to forget her. I tried to drive that foreign girl away. All I wanted was the jewel, and what it could make of me.
And now I see that it isn't what I want after all. I can never let anyone know, never let anyone see my weakness. But now...now, I want to be with her, simply to be with her, the girl who freed me. Who travels beside me, who has never left my side except to return to her home for her family. I want her to stay so much I try to keep her from leaving, though I know she'll only "sit" me again for trying. But try I do, because I can't stand it when she's not here.
And I will continue to try, until I have one or the other; the woman who hates me, as she hates all things, or the woman who continues to come back of her own free will to this time. Who pierces my heart not with physical arrows, but with emotional ones.
And I welcome that pain.
Introspection
Inuyasha
***
Why do they pierce my heart like this?
She, the one who pinned me to the tree, the one who I once loved and...I think...love still. What happened between us is irreparable, yet still she pursues me, still she seeks to take me with her. As though dragging me down to hell will negate everything she...I...we have done. The bitter hate we held toward each other. Hate that drove us to fight, that drove me to steal the jewel, that drove her to pin me to Goshinboku. Hate that killed her, hate that sustains her now. Hate and anger. Why does she still cause my heart to leap to my throat, my body to quiver, my breath come ragged?
And then she...she who saved me. The one who removed the arrow and freed me from Goshinboku's arms. The one who stays by my side, fights by my side. Why does she stir these feelings in my chest, these tremors only my priestess was ever able to stir? Why does her scent make me tremble, and threaten to unman me? Why this weakness around her?
I am supposed to be strong. I buried my feelings years ago, when my love betrayed me and pierced me through the heart with an arrow of power. I tried to hate her, the woman who sealed me. I tried to forget her. I tried to drive that foreign girl away. All I wanted was the jewel, and what it could make of me.
And now I see that it isn't what I want after all. I can never let anyone know, never let anyone see my weakness. But now...now, I want to be with her, simply to be with her, the girl who freed me. Who travels beside me, who has never left my side except to return to her home for her family. I want her to stay so much I try to keep her from leaving, though I know she'll only "sit" me again for trying. But try I do, because I can't stand it when she's not here.
And I will continue to try, until I have one or the other; the woman who hates me, as she hates all things, or the woman who continues to come back of her own free will to this time. Who pierces my heart not with physical arrows, but with emotional ones.
And I welcome that pain.