CHAPTER ONE.
Familiar Faces.
She hated waking up from it. The cold, moist feeling of sweat sticking her to her sheets. That feeling of pure terror caused by her nightmares had awoken her, but it was nothing new to Hermione.
For months now these dreams had haunted her, and not being able to control the parts of her memory that held her pain, anger, and grief sickened her to the very core. Being pulled slowly out of her dark abyss, Hermione Granger opened her sore eyes.
She sat up quickly, sweat coating nearly every inch of her body. Her hair was saturated; the sheets were cold and damp.
The memories of the Triwizard Tournament had haunted her every night since last year. She couldn't shake the dreams of Voldemort returning and killing Cedric Diggory. The only difference her dreams held was that Hermione had taken Harry's place in witnessing Voldemort murder. Not only that, but she was witnessing Voldemort kill Harry Potter - her best friend, right in front of her eyes.
It was the beginning of her 5th year at Hogwarts.
The Triwizard tournament had ended, and she was glad for it as just the thought of Harry facing those challenges alone had shook her to the bone, because they did everything in a three; herself, Ron, and Harry, and they would always be there for one another in the face of danger and she couldn't do that for Harry during the tournament. "It's a privilege, Miss Granger," Was what they would say. She thought it was sodding rubbish, she hatedit.
Hermione threw her head back on the uncomfortable pillow, sighing. She craned her neck to her left, and then her right, and saw that Ginny Weasley and Lavender Brown were still fast asleep. Her sleepy eye sight focused on the wooden clock on the side table next to her bed, and she groaned as she noticed how early she had woken: 4.32am. This similar reoccurring dream had been troubling her for months now, and it was really taking its toll - she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a good nights sleep.
Feeling completely exhaustion overwhelm her Hermione pulled herself up, letting her elbows support her upper body weight. She dropped her head back, which gave a loud click in response, and yawned deeply.
Knowing full well that she would not be able to drift back off to sleep, she hopped out of bed and hugged her arms across her chest for warmth against the early morning draft. Moving with purpose, she tiptoed across the room, grabbed a fresh pair of under garments and robes before carefully tugging the door open just wide enough to allow her body to slip through.
"Hermione?"
She cringed, damn it,"Go back to sleep Ginny, I'm just going for a shower."
"What time is it Hermione? Please tell me you're not still having those dreams?" Ginny's voice was hoarse and Hermione could hear her shuffling in the bed.
"Of course not! Just thought I would get an early start, catch up on studying," she lied. Well- half lied, she was intending on studying even though it was completely unnecessary. These early morning starts had given her plenty of time to finish all her homework and studying for the weeks ahead. Studying helped to keep her mind off of things.And, she had all these extra hours with nothing to do, so why not?
She bit her lip, hoping she sounded convincing. After all, the last thing she needed was Ginny constantly worrying- she would demand for Hermione to get a sleeping draught from Madam Pompfrey. She didn't want a potion to help her sleep. In fact she was sure not being to wake up from her nightmares to reassure herself that it was just a dream would just make her nights all the more worse. She didn't want to know what the effects may be if she was under the influence of a sleeping potion.
"See you at breakfast, okay?" Hermione said chirpily, wrapping her towel around herself tighter.
She knew Ginny had fallen asleep when there was no reply. She envied the two girls for being able to sleep so well. The only upside of all of this was the fact that she was ahead of her grades, homework, everything.
Hermione headed to the bathroom, her naked feet slapping the cold steps of the girls dormitory staircase as she made her way down. As usual the Gryffindor common room was empty.
Locking the door of the bathroom after entering, Hermione allowed the warm and scented heat of the bathroom to soothe her airways. She sat on the edge of the bath closing her eyes and let the heat warm her cold body. Leaning over she turned the taps and adjusted the water to the right temperature, before removing her towel.
She leaned into the sink, suddenly feeling a little nauseated, and began rubbing her temples.
She looked up at her reflection. Her eyes were heavy, the lids drooping and the bags surrounding her brown eyes and pale skin were awful to look at! She turned away, not giving a second thought as to how dreadful she had been looking recently.
She didn't have to be like most girls - obsessed with hairstyles and make up, she hardly kept up with fashion trends. Personally, she thought muggle clothes suited her the best.
And as for boys, what boy would want her? Not that she cared. There was more to life than boys, things like good grades, good friends and finding things you're good at as well as a meaning for your life. She smiled weakly before slipping her dainty naked body into the tub, letting the warm water relax every muscle in her body.
ooo
"Hermione, why are you still wearing your robes?" Ginny had walked into the Gryffindor common room, a look of confusion upon her face. She sat herself down next to Hermione and crossed her legs before facing her. "Talk to me Hermione..."
Taking her eyes off her ancient runes book, she turned to face her freckled friend, "I'm fine okay? I know what you're thinking and the answer is no."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest, But Hermione cut her off and turned her attention back to her text book.
"Listen Ginny, there is no way I'm taking any sleeping potions - if anything it will make the dreams worse." She shifted around awkwardly.
Ginny sighed, "You really should change out of your robes, it's Saturday Hermione."
Hermione's mouth dropped slightly, and she flushed a little with embarrassment.
Ginny started to laugh, then stopped abruptly. Jumping up to her feet, she shouted "Oh god! Harry's playing today!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Alright, before you ask, yes I'll come with you," she knew all about Ginny's plan to impress Harry by showing up to every Quidditch game and practice. She found it amusing that Ginny always got so flustered around Harry and had taken to accompanying her in case she started to embarrass herself.
Hermione giggled as she stood up. "Just let me change first, okay?" Ginny nodded excitedly.
Hermione and Ginny headed towards the Quidditch pitch wrapped in layers of clothing. The grounds were covered in snow - it was an awful day to be playing Quidditch. It was the first match of the season, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Hermione didn't care for Quidditch, it was probably her least favourite thing about Hogwarts- if there had to be one, but she went nonetheless to support Harry. Not to mention Ginny, who wouldn't let her miss one game.
She thought it was cute though. In the back of mind she wondered will I ever have that? That nervous feeling for a boy she fancied, the way Ginny would get nervous but giddy and blush every time she heard Harry's name. Hermione smiled to herself - One day Hermione, one day.
Ginny was now staring at Hermione and noticed how her friend looked very deep in thought. "Hermione can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, what is it?" Hermione said, shaking the thoughts out of her head as they both stopped walking and turned to each other.
"You know how.. well, uh.. you know-" Ginny paused, looking at her feet before taking a deep breath before suddenly blurting the rest out in a barely coherent mess, "-Do you dream about Harry because you love him? In the same way I love him?" Ginny held her breath, not taking her eyes off that same spot on the ground.
Hermione couldn't quite comprehend, she couldn't actually believe Ginny would think that."Ginny No! I mean yes- I love Harry, but not in that way. I dream of him because Voldemort is back Ginny. I fear for his safety-" it was now Hermione's turn to look at her feet, as she was a little stumped for words, "-I would dream about you if you were in that sort of danger." Hermione looked up, fear flashing through her eyes. "I'll see you later Ginny," She turned on her heel and walked away.
"Hermione, wait!" Ginny called to Hermione but she was already gone from her sight so Ginny headed towards the pitch, now slightly angry with herself for being so thoughtless.
Hermione walked briskly back the castle, bumping into a few gaggles of people who were walking carelessly towards the pitch to watch the match. She felt bad for leaving like that, it's not that she was angry at Ginny, well maybe a little, but it was the lack of sleep.
How could Ginny accuse her of being in love with Harry Potter, her bestfriend? It was thoughtless, but Ginny often said things she didn't mean. Still, how could Ginny think she would do such a thing? Maybe Ginny did not know her as well as Hermione thought she did.
If love did this to people, if love gave people irrational thoughts and made them reckless, then love is something she didn't particularly want to experience. Infuriated at thoughts she suddenly shouted, rather idiotically "Fuck love!", and upon realizing how stupid it sounded coming out of her mouth she flushed a bright red, whipping her head around furiously to make sure no one had heard her.
"Did I really just hear the goody-good mudblood swear?" Hermione could feel the blood rush to her head as she turned around to see none other than Draco Malfoy smirking at her. Oh no.
She sighed irritably. Why out of all days, did today have to be the day that Malfoy heard me swear? She neverswore! Swearing was foul and only spoken by those who had no respect for the witnesses of such profanity. "A Lady should never use Profanity," Was what her mother would tell her.
Malfoy spoke again, suddenly jolting her back to reality, "You could hardly be classed as a lady, now could you?" he cooed mockingly, raising an eyebrow. "You're a filthy, pathetic mudblood and that's all you'll ever be!" He paused, searching her cinnamon eyes for any sort of reaction.
Smirking as tears built up in her eyes, he continued, "What's wrong Granger? Are those tears that I see on that ugly little face of yours?" He took a step closer, looking down at her and laughing.
Hermione was ropable. Really?She couldn't bite her tongue any longer, "Sod off Malfoy!" she screamed, storming away from him. Blinking back her tears she realized she'd forgotten just how much she hated him, why did he have to be so cruel to her? Oh, that's right, because I'm a mudblood. She didn't care. She didn't want his approval, she felt sorry for him.
"Don't run away too fast!" She could hear him call out to her, "You might trip over those huge clown feet of yours!" she tried to ignore his last comment, She'd always been rather self conscious of certain aspects of her body. But he probably knows that.
Hermione stopped running, and putting a hand up against a tree she found herself looking towards the river. She was exhausted, the running had completely taken up the little energy she'd had, and her lack of sleep meant the running obviously hadn't helped the situation. She dropped to the ground clutching her ribs. Laying back into the snow and staring into the sky above her, she was completely exhausted and upon closing her stinging eyes she drifted off to sleep.
ooo
Hermione stopped dead still, staring straight ahead. It was dark and cold. It seemed dangerous.
She turned around and saw a brighter path, a path where she could see Ginny in the distance, so she called out. "GINNY!" Ginny stopped and looked at her, her face dropping.
"What do you want?" Ginny replied. Hermione went to speak but Ginny cut her off "Your going the wrong way Hermione! Turn around this path is not the one for you," Ginny sounded bitter, but Hermione couldn't understand why.
Before she could reply to Ginny, Ginny transformed into Ron. He looked at Hermione and she could see the stress on his face. "Ron, what is it?" Hermione asked, beginning to feel rather panicked.
Ron widened his eyes, motioning frantically with his hands, "Hermione, come this way. Please come this way!" He sounded desperate.
Hermione went to step forwards to Ron, towards the Bright Path but her feet were failing her, for they would not allow her to step in his direction. Ginny Suddenly reappeared right beside Ron, "SAVE HIM! " she bellowed at Hermione.
It was Rons voice who triggered the realisation of the dream she was in. "Hermione," Ron spoke softly, "You cannot save him, Your too late..."
Ron looked down, Hermione whipped her head around frantically and saw Harry. Dead. The life bleeding out of him, a knife sticking out of his stomach, "NO!' she cried and began trying to run to him-
ooo
Hermione woke up clutching her chest. She was shaking uncontrollably and she could hardly breathe. She realised she was having a panic attack. Trying to steady her erratic, wheezy breathing and get to her feet, she realized it was a big mistake as her legs could not handle the weight of her trembling and exhausted body.
The next time she opened her eyes she noticed she was laying in the hospital wing. She felt a firm squeeze on her hand, and turned her pounding head to find Harry staring down at her, frowning. He was dressed in his Quidditch robes. "Harry? What happened?"
"You tell me Hermione." Harry replied, "There I was - mid game and about to catch the snitch, and then I notice you, laying near the lake covered in snow completely lifeless. I thought you were dead Hermione! What's going on?" Harry sat back in his chair looking completely finished, but for other reasons- appropriate ones that involved physical sport.
Hermione stared at him with her mouth slightly agape "What? How is this in anyway my fault? Has it ever occurred to you that it is hardfor me to have to be haunted by these dreams. Do you think I actually wantto be having these dreams? Of course not! I thought you could understand, but clearly not." She shook her head and pulled herself off of the bed, feeling very light headed. She didn't care, she didn't want to be there, being told off for collapsing with exhaustion from nightmares about the very person reprimanding her!
Harry sat there, confused at what had just happened. He knew he should have been more sensitive, but she needed to be careful! It's not every day you see someone passed out in the snow, he was only concerned for her. He felt like an arse but figured it was best to leave her be, it would be best to smooth things over in the morning.
Hermione went straight to bed when she had returned to the Gryffindor common room. As much as she feared falling asleep, she was just too weary and upset to stay awake. So she let her eyelids close over, forgetting her urge to keep them open.
A huge thank you to Lolaaaa for beta-ring this chapter! You're Brilliant!