Disclaimer: One more word Mr. Tattletale...and...God I'm too tired to make threats today. And I don't own JIF! (You'll see...)
This is actually my first non-romance fic. Wow, I'm shocked myself O.o
Still trying to find those dolls, obsessedwithstabler. Wish me luck!
Olivia sat in her armchair at her desk, looking incredibly uncomfortable and frustrated with the way she was pulling at her hair. More like trying to tear it out. Elliot smirked and stared at her. What the hell was she doing? "Liv?" he asked from across his desk. She flipped on him. "What?!" she almost screamed. He looked a little taken aback. "Calm down, Benson. What's wrong?" She shook her head, and looked at her hair again. "It's nothing." she sighed, continuing to tend to her brown locks. She looked like she was going to cry. She grunted and buried her face in her arms on the desk. What the hell? Was she PMSing or were all women like that? He didn't know, but personally, he thought she was adorable when she got upset. He got up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Liv, are you sure you're ok?" Her face still in her arms, she shook her head. He smiled as she looked up, took his hand and dragged him to the cribs. "Liv, what's wrong?"
He couldn't help but see the faintest of tears in her eyes. He had a sudden urge to say, "Aww, poor baby..." but that wasn't appropriate obviously. She bit her lip and looked down at her feet like a child in trouble. "What is it?" he asked once more. Taking a deep breath, Olivia pulled at her hair once more. "You have to promise you won't laugh." Now she was sounding like a child. "Ok, Liv, I pinky swear." She narrowed her eyes. "It's not funny." He gave a fake surprised expression. "I thought I promised not to laugh. So I don't know why it would be funny." She narrowed her eyes at him for being a smart-ass. Olivia sighed again and looked into his eyes. "I..sneezed..." she began. He chuckled. "So does everyone, Liv. You shouldn't freak about it!" She clenched her fists. "I'm not finished!" she yelled. She calmed down and opened her mouth. "And I was chewing gum-and-when I sneezed it flew out. And well..." She pulled up the strand of hair she was fussing with and his eyes widened. A light green glob of gum was stuck in those perfect locks. He bit his bottom lip hard to keep from bursting out laughing.
"Oh, Liv..." he sighed as he shook his head and let out a muffled chuckle. Punching him in the arm, she glared into his eyes. "It's not funny! I can't go home cause we have a case, and I can't find any scissors, and I-I-" She started to stutter and Elliot grinned and pulled her head to his chest, being careful of the gum. "It's okay, Liv. Come on." He led her to the break room with a hand to the small of her back. He walked to the refrigerator and rummaged through the contents. "I know its in here somewhere..." he sighed. She sat on the table and swayed her legs. "Ah ha!" he replied cheeringly. He pulled out a jar of JIF peanut butter. Her eyes widened. "What are you planning to do, El? Eat me?" He chuckled. "No you retard. To get your gum out." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not letting that peanut stuff in my hair!" He pursed his lips. "Don't be a child, Benson. You should be thanking me for this-" She shoved the jar out of her face. "No! Jesus, El, why don't you just get some strawberry jelly and some bread and I can be your lunch!"
He rolled his eyes. "God, Benson, don't make me get Fin in here and hold you down. Come on." he sighed. With her struggling, it wasn't hard anyway. He grabbed her by her waist and threw her over his shoulder with the peanut butter jar in his hand. As he walked down the stairs towards the locker bathrooms, Munch passed him with a curious expression. "Hey, John." he said casually. He looked at the screaming Olivia Benson, then at Elliot, and then at the peanut butter jar, and some very dirty things went through his mind. "Is this some kind of sex game the kids are doing these days? Stabler, aren't you still married?" He smirked and continued towards the bathroom.
He pulled her to a large sink, set her on the counter, and then took the peanut butter out with a spoon and smoothed it over the spot where the gum was. He twisted the strand of hair for a few minutes, and then made her lean her head in the sink. He pulled the rest of her hair in a bundle and then turned the water on. The gum came out with ease. "There. The peanut butter's off and so is the gum. You happy?" He looked a little pissed but then he smelled the hair that hadn't been in peanut butter and smirked. He obviously didn't notice her cheeks flushing. "You still smell like your pretty self." She snorted and felt her hair. It was actually as velvety as it was before. "Thanks...now I feel like a peanut butter sandwich." He chuckled as he wiped his hands on a towel. "And I feel like a ham sandwich. Come on, let's go to the deli." She smiled and walked with him.
As they were eating and laughing, Elliot was explaining to her how Maureen, Kathleen, and Dickie all got gum in their hair and he had to use peanut butter to get it out. She giggled as she saw him lick his finger with mustard on it. And when she took a drink of her soda, and then looked back, his face was flushed and sweaty. "El? Elliot, what's wrong?" Without one word, he fell over onto the floor. "Oh my God! Elliot!" she screamed as she kneeled down in front of him. She felt for a pulse. It was there barely but he was unconcious and still sweating profusely. "Someone call a bus!" she yelled. The cashier nodded and rushed to a phone. A man knelt down beside her and helped turned Elliot onto his back and breathe normally. What the hell happened?
She sat right next to him after his wife and kids were gone, rubbing his arm affectionately. That moment, the doctor came in. "What happened?" she asked immediately. He smiled. "Don't worry. He'll be fine. Just an allergic reaction." She raised her eyebrows. "To what?" He looked at his clipboard and then cleared his throat. "Peanut butter. He's allergic to the oil." Her eyes widened. Peanut butter? Then why did he...? She half-smiled. "The sweet son of a bitch." she sighed. The doctor shrugged and walked out of the room. She couldn't believe he did that for her. She smiled, kissed his forehead and took out her 5 gum and threw it. Fuckin gum.
Ok this happened to me today! I was chewing gum in school, and we're not supposed to! And I sneezed because I was getting sick, and I spit my gum out and it landed in my hair! And I was all upset, pulling at my strand of hair. Then my friend Tucker shows up and I tell him but he uses the peanut butter I had in my lunch and uses it to get the gum out of my hair. He's so fuckin awesome. And then, I find out later that day, that he's in the nurse's office. At the end of the day, I go and visit him. He's all sweaty and the nurse says he had an allergic reaction to peanuts. So I feel like an ass because I was telling him he was a bastard for making me smell like peanut brittle! I feel so bad and now I'm going to call him later and apologize. :( Review please!
Hugs and Thunder,
Taco Bell (Yeah, Tucker's calling me that now!)