Operation: Toxic Confection by mellownonchalant
--Guys, I need a BETA reader. If anyone is interested, please contact me via e-mail and we can work somethin' out.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kishimoto's Naruto. If I did I would have Sai naked all the time, just kidding!
Chapter 1: Bargaining with a Stubborn Weed
"Please, Tenten. I promise not to bother you– I'll leave you and Neji alone to train. In fact, I'll buy you one of this," Lee pointed excitedly to the horrendous, green spandex suit he donned. Not a pleasant sight in the very least. What kind of ninja in their right mind would ever wear that thing that made you look like some walking green sausage? The Konoha fashion police needs to apprehend Gai-sensei and Lee for possible eye gouging and blindness among innocents. Seriously, these two are doing some serious damage to their dating repertoire.
"Lee," Tenten growled under her breath, trying her best to reign her temper. Lee has been loudly pleading her to aid him on a so-called "top-secret mission" for the last fifteen irritating minutes. The bowl-haired kid had determination, quite an admirable quality, but there is a fine line between determination and aggravating persistence. Lee was walking on said fine line.
It was the day before Sakura's birthday and one fine admirer of the soft-spoken kunoichi was just not satisfied with showering her with (eccentric) flowery compliments and a store-bought present like any normal person would do. However, "normal" never applied to Lee in the first place. Nope! Someone like Sakura, a blooming rose of beauty and brains, would–no, should deserve more than that, the very sentimental and considerate star pupil of Gai-sensei concluded. What's a better way to express his youthful love for the kunoichi than a home-made, confectionary masterpiece?
Indeed, that is a very sweet undertaking, but the thought of Lee baking a cake involuntarily fostered a shiver down Tenten's spine. She remembered her 11th birthday and cringed at the memory. Lee had given her his cake as a present. Who knew that a harmless pastry could do so much damage to one's stomach? The cake looked so innocent nestled neatly in a pink box. Lee, enthused by Tenten's surprised expression, generously sliced her a piece. Not wanting to disappoint Lee's heartwarming gesture of friendship, she ate a piece. Well, more like swallowed it. Painfully. It tasted like burnt rubber, hard as the rock faces of the Hokage monument, and dry as the Village of Sand. But seeing Lee's beaming face, Tenten couldn't voice her disgust for the pastry. Offering Lee a meek smile that looked more like a grimace, Tenten ate the rest of the slice. Tenten's taste buds suffered a few more blows to gratify Lee. Kami-sama, so many taste receptors died as brave martyrs that day. It took Tenten the next week to acquire her gustatory senses back. That was one lesson learned. Never eat anything Lee bakes.
"So, what say you, youthful teammate of mine?" Lee's booming voice pierced her ears. First, the taste buds now her ear? Socking Lee square in the face appealed to her but quelled the thought.
Uncrossing her arms, Tenten shifted and sighed tiredly, "Fine. I'll help."
Tenten pitied Sakura at that point. She didn't exactly know the girl well enough, but she wasn't unsympathetic either, to let her become Lee's next victim for his puke-worthy treats. I should get some kinda good-will award for this, the peeved kuniochi mentally said as an after-thought.
"YOSH! Just you wait, Sakura! You will fall in love with my confection of youthful love!" Lee whooped across the training grounds like a dog on crack Oh, her poor ear. Did this kid ever run out of energy? Socking Lee really sounded more attractive at each second he belted out some ludicrous (ear-splitting) love proclamation for Sakura.
"On one condition," she interrupted him from his wild stampede. Lee actually looked more like a deranged chimpanzee on the lose.
"Name it, Tenten. I am all ears!" Lee busted out his good-guy pose and saluted her. Why did she agree to this again?
"Alright, listen up," maybe she's going bonkers after dealing with Lee's moronic feat for 3 years, "do not bake the cake. I will take care of it." She enunciated each word slowly hoping that Lee will accept it without further hesitation.
"But... I thought I'll be the one to bake it. It should be filled with my overflowing love and admiration for my dear Sakura," Lee knited his bushy brows. He would not give this fight easily. Although his contemplating look showed signs of uncertainty at his opposition.
"Lee, hate to break your heart, buddy, but I think it's better if I do the baking. Hey, how about preparing yourself for Sakura's party?" Tenten suggested kindly. She just hoped Lee would also kindly accept her proposal and shut up. She couldn't believe she was actually helping Lee in winning Sakura's heart.
"But Tenten, I--"
"Lee, I insist." She intoned firmly with a friendly voice, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Gee, thanks Tenten but--"Man, Tenten can be persistent, too.
"Just do as I say, Lee," she smiled sweetly, clamping his shoulder with a death grip that could rival Garaa's most powerful Sand jutsu.
"Ouch. Tenten–ouch!–You're hurting me." Lee flinched at the unpleasant sensation.
"Please, Lee?" Ignoring his previous statement, Tenten continued her entreaty. By then Lee couldn't feel his arm. Her sugary voice and warm smile juxtaposed the painful grip she had on him, successfully cutting off circulation in his limb. Tenten was never cruel enough to use this tactic, but some things needed to be dealt with in a more convenient manner. Lee's like a stubborn weed, unless you pull him out by the roots, he will never budge. He was just that darn stubborn.
"O-okay. Just let me go," Lee frowed. He could have sworn his arm was dead by now. He dearly wanted to have two functional arms, thank you very much. Flexing his numb limb, he fixed a glower on his teammate.
"Thanks, Lee," Tenten bobbed her eyeslashes at him and released his shoulder, "I knew you'd understand."
She grinned with satisfaction and mentally did a victory jig. Finally, that was over. Bargaining with Lee took more energy and patience than she had predicted.
"You're welcome." It sounded more like a question. He was currently nursing his arm, massaging it. When did Tenten learn such dastardly tricks? He really wanted to bake the cake for Sakura.
Pleased with the result, Tenten sorted out her thoughts and prepared to leave for home. She felt positively exhausted after training since the crack of dawn. Soaking in her hot tub until her skin shrivels like a wrinkly raisin didn't sound like a bad idea. Yup, that sounds like a plan, she flexed her shoulder muscles, trying to work the kinks out of them. After a good soak and a snack, I'll work on Operation: Toxic Confection, Tenten wryly thought.
Collecting her scattered armory was really a pain in the buttocks! Damn Neji for using the Kaiten on her again. The unsurmountable shield of chakra the Hyuga produced never failed to leave the grounds (and trees) decorated with heavy artillery. If I get my hands on that arrogant prick I'll–
"Hey, Tenten! Where did Neji go?" Lee inquired, scratching his chin animatedly. The sudden question rudely interrupted her from finishing a pleasant way of punishing the Hyuga prodigy. Tenten raised her brow, placing her hands on her waist. Good question. Where was Neji?
"Odd, he was just with me before. But then you got started on that Sakura thing." Tenten was indeed puzzled. Neji was always found in the training grounds. He practically breathed and lived for training. He was the one who forced her out of bed at 5 o'clock in the morning to train with him, for crying out loud. Hyuga's abscesses from team training, as far as Tenten can remember, were as rare as females finding Gai-sensei undeniably sexy and drop-dead gorgeous– now, speaking on behalf of the female population, that has never happened. So, the sudden disappearance was a bit shocking to say the least.
"Maybe he has upset stomach or something?" Tenten grinned as she brushed off her cargo pants after she finished placing her kunais in her pouch.
"Tenten! Did you just jest about our honorable teammate?" Lee crossed his arms, his big eyes alight with amusement.
Again, ignoring Lee's statement, she walked towards the gate. Ignoring Lee has quickly become one of her adopted habits. That soak sounds more appealing by the second.
"See you later, Lee!" She waved as she picked up her pace.