Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm back to writing again, although this one is a pairing I've never actually written before (even though God knows I've read a TON of Delena fanfics). The plot bunny attacked me and held me hostage after that last episode until I finally wrote this. Wasn't that episode heartbreaking by the way? I have no doubt that Delena will survive this (They always survive) but things are going to go very badly very quickly for a while.
Anways…here you go. Hope you enjoy!
Silence filled the room as everyone waited to see if Bonnie's spell had worked. The last twenty-four hours since they had discovered that Elena was not actually Elena had been hell on everyone.
Elena opened her eyes.
"Elena?" Caroline asked hesitantly as she lightly took Elena's hand.
Elena smiled weakly. "Caroline!" she laughed lightly as she pulled her friend in a bone-crushing hug, "You guys saved me."
"Well, of course we did," Caroline reassured her. "Did you really think that psycho bitch was going to fool us forever?"
Elena let go of Caroline long enough to pull Bonnie into the hug. The three friends held on for several long seconds before Elena stiffened.
"Jeremy!" she cried in realization. She let go of her friends, rushed over to her brother, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled back and frantically assessed him. "Are you alright?! Is everything okay? Are you having any problems breathing?"
"I'm fine, Elena," Jeremy assured her, "Your—I mean, Katherine's—CPR saved me."
Elena's expression turned stormy. She turned to the entire group and demanded, "What happened to Katherine?"
Stefan hesitantly stepped forward from where he stood next to Matt and asked, "Elena, what do you remember exactly? I mean were you conscious for all of it, or…?"
Elena deliberately avoided everyone's curious gaze and replied, "I remember every second of it. Now what happened to Katherine?"
"She's gone, Elena—dead," Stefan explained, "Bonnie's new witch friend Liv put a spell on the Traveler's knife, and Damon stabbed Katherine in the heart with it,"
At the mention of his name, Elena locked eyes with the one person she had been both dreading and longing to look at. Damon stood in the back of the room, looking unsure of himself. He hesitantly met her steady gaze and offered her a weak smile.
"Hey, Elena," he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.
She chose not to respond, but instead turned her attention to the others once more.
"Can you guys give us a moment alone, please?" Elena asked. "Damon and I need to talk."
Her friends nodded in assent and one-by-one began to file out of the room. Caroline gave her a quick hug on her way out. Matt smiled at her and told her how happy he was that she was back. But, Stefan was the one who surprised her. He hugged her lightly and whispered in her ear, "Don't be too hard on him, Elena. He went through a lot." Elena stiffened in his arms but refrained from replying.
Thick silence settled over the room as soon as the last person exited. Elena, though she was unsure of how to begin, turned to Damon, a look of anger, confusion, and pain evident on her face. Damon, for his part, looked as if her were facing his executioner. He was staring at the fireplace, his jaw set in a hard line, and if he wasn't an immortal and eternally young vampire, Elena would worry about him getting wrinkles from how deeply his forehead was furrowed.
Elena, in the meantime, looked angry and confused and most of all, she looked hurt. She turned to Damon. He was staring at the fireplace, his jaw set in a hard line. Thick silence settled over the room.
They spoke at the same time.
"Damon, I—"
"Elena, we—"
Both paused.
"Elena, I need to tell you—" Damon managed to say before Elena cut him off.
"No. No, you do not get the opportunity to talk," Elena demanded. "I have been trapped inside my own body for days now as I was forced to watch Katherine destroy everything in my life. I have been forced into silence, and I am done with it. So I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."
Damon solemnly nodded his head as Elena angrily made her way over to him. He owed her at least that much, he thought.
A loud smack sounded through the room as Elena, with all her vampiric strength, slapped him on the cheek.
Damon clenched his jaw but did not retaliate as a red handprint began to bloom on his face. He deserved that, and he knew it. He also knew that this was the part where Elena—the real Elena—would truly end it. When she would decide once and for all that everyone was actually right about him: he was a monster.
"That," Elena ground out between gritted teeth, "was for everything you've done in the past several days."
Then, she gripped his face and kissed him hard. He froze momentarily, confused, before he groaned and grabbed her waist to pull her close to him. He didn't understand what was going on, but if there was something that he did know, it was this: He was still completely in love with this woman, and if this was the last kiss he was going to get, he was going to make damn sure that it was a good one. The kiss grew heated as their tongues tangled and their hands began to wander. Damon couldn't help but moan into Elena's mouth as he pulled her closer than should have been humanly possible.
Elena pulled back then. Damon's mouth followed hers for a few inches, but her hand on his chest stopped him.
"And that was for ever doubting my love for you."
"Elena, I'm—" Damon tried again, but Elena interrupted him once more.
"No, Damon. I am so incredibly pissed, and it's still my turn to speak."
Damon grimaced, but stayed silent, knowing there wasn't much he could say in that moment to make the situation better.
"Can you even begin to imagine how it feels to be stuck and silenced in your own body while you watch the love of your life tear everything and everyone you love apart?" Elena pulled back and stepped several feet away from him, not giving him the chance to respond. "No, you couldn't know how that feels because I would never do that to you! I understand why you lashed out after you thought I gave up on you, and I can even understand why you killed Aaron—I'm not condoning it, but I can understand why. But you almost killed Jeremy! Hell, he would be dead right now if it wasn't for Katherine, of all people. And so would I! Did you even care when Enzo tried to stake me? Did you ever even think to stop him?" Elena questioned, as the tears started streaming down her face.
That moment would be forever seared in Damon's mind.
***Flashback***
Damon stalked into the room only to hear Elena call out for Stefan. Typical. What was strange was that she sounded like she was in pain. It was then he saw her perched on the floor with a stake sticking out of her back. For a split second, Damon thought she was dead. His whole world crashed down around him as he suddenly forgot how to breathe. When he realized she wasn't, he saw red for a brief moment. How dare Enzo try to stake her. How dare he hurt his—
Oh, that's right. Elena wasn't his any longer. She had washed her hands of him days ago.
***End Flashback***
"I wouldn't have let him stake you," Damon replied.
"You could have fooled me," Elena laughed bitterly. "Do you have any idea how close that stake was to my heart?"
"I wouldn't have let him," Damon repeated. He felt nauseous just thinking about it.
"No, you probably wouldn't have," Elena conceded. "But you would have let him kill Jeremy. How could you do that? He's my brother, Damon, and he was as good as yours, too! God, in a couple of years he probably would have been! I would have married you, Damon! I would have been with you forever. But I can't forgive what you did. I can't forgive you."
"Then why bother kissing me, Elena?" Damon demanded. "Why remind me of everything I had before I screwed it all up just like I have screwed up every other god damn thing in my entire god damn life?! You still love me, and I love you! I love you so much that the thought that you had given up on me nearly destroyed me. Please, Elena, I've already lost you once. I don't know what I'll do if it happens again."
"Katherine was wrong about a lot of things," Elena said gently as the tears continued to fall down her cheeks, "But she was right about one. I can't be the only goodness in your life, Damon. You are better than this. You have good inside you. But you have to find it. I can't be your only reason for not murdering people. I love you, but I can't do this. I can't be terrified every time we get into an argument that you are going to hurt someone close to me. I love you, Damon, but I can't do this. Maybe someday, but not now."
"You said that to me once before, you know," Damon answered quietly. "When I snapped Jeremy's neck, you said that you would never forgive me, that you hated me. Please, Elena." He slipped his hand under her chin and rubbed her jawline with his thumb. "Give me another chance."
Elena shook her head, fresh tears brimming her eyes, "You're all out of chances, Damon. I can't be in a relationship with you. Not like this. I will always be your friend, Damon, but for right now, that's all I can be."
"I can't change who I am, Elena! I'm not Stefan. I am not a hero!"
"And I never wanted or expected you to be! I accepted you exactly for who you were, because I loved you and knew that there was good inside of you."
"So then what changed?"
"You did."
Damon took a hard step back. When he finally spoke, he did so quietly and solemnly, just as one would at a funeral. "I didn't change, Elena. I am a monster. It's who I've always been. It was fun pretending to be your hero while it lasted, but we both knew how this was going to end. I'm the evil brother, remember? I'm the one who killed Lexi and Matt's sister and Zach and who knows how many other people! I am bad, Elena. I'm just surprised it took you this long to figure that out. I am an idiot for letting myself think, even for one second, that the villain of this story could have a happy ending. Go back to Stefan," he spat bitterly. "Go back and enjoy your apple pie life with your two-point-five kids and your house with the picket fence. It was only a matter of time before you did, anyways."
"Screw you," Elena bit out. "Screw you and your ridiculous inferiority complex. I knew exactly who and what you were, and I loved you anyways. I would have loved you for the rest of eternity. We never would have had a Mayberry life with dinner every night at 6 and the house always in perfect condition. We would have had passion and romance and danger, and we would have loved every second of it. But I guess we'll never know that now, because you screwed this one up. Not me. Not Stefan. You."
Then came the one sentence Damon had been dreading and yet expecting to hear ever since he had realized Elena wasn't Elena.
"I'm sorry, Damon, but it's over."
Expecting it did nothing to soften the blow to his heart. Hurt, Damon averted his gaze and stared at the fireplace. His jaw was clenched and every muscle in his arm was taut. No matter how much he tried to stop himself from looking after her, he couldn't help but watch her walk away from him—away from them.
She left him alone, and he was enveloped in darkness once again.
No one heard from Elena for days after that. Everyone started to get worried and had actually gone as far as asking Bonnie's friend to perform a locator spell before Caroline got a text from Elena.
Everything's fine. I just needed some space. I'll be back at the dorm tomorrow. –Elena
Everyone had calmed down after that, save for Caroline, who still had a feeling that something wasn't quite right.
Her suspicions were confirmed the very next day when she walked into her and Elena's dorm and a t-shirt landed on her head. Yanking it off, she looked around at Elena's side of the room and saw it in a state of mass chaos with clothes and shoes scattered throughout the room. On the bed sat two large suitcases that were already half full.
"I can't say that I love what you've done with the place," Caroline commented as she carefully maneuvered her way through a maze of jeans and pairs of converse. "Want to explain what's going on with the whole room redecoration?"
"I'm leaving," Elena explained. "I thought that if I got away for a few days that I would be fine. But I'm not. I can't stay here. I have to get out." She crammed an armful of clothes into the smaller suitcase. "Here, could you sit on this for me?"
Caroline didn't move.
"What are you talking about? Where are you going?" she asked.
"California, Mexico, Bosnia—I don't know. I'll figure it out on the way." Elena hopped on top of her suitcase and proceeded to kneel on it as she forced the zipper to close, and as soon as that was done, she jumped off the bed and continued to grab more of her belongings.
"Elena, you need to calm down and tell me what's going on," Caroline said, grabbing Elena's forearm to stop her.
Elena jerked around and stared at Caroline, her brown eyes misty. "I can't stay here, Caroline! I can't stay here and see Damon every day. It hurts too much."
Caroline finally understood. "So you broke up with him," she pointed out. "I mean, for real this time, not like with Katherine. Look, sweetie, I know you're upset, but I promise this feeling will go away. Hell, I was a wreck when Tyler and I broke up, but I'm fine now. This is for the best anyways. You deserve so much better than that bastard."
"That's just it, Caroline. This isn't going to fade. You don't get it. Damon is it for me. I am never going to move on from him. Even now after everything he did, I am still completely and utterly in love with him. But I can't be with him. Not like this. Not after everything he did. But I also can't stay here and watch him revert back to the evil person he thinks he is."
Caroline threw her arms up in exasperation. "God, I don't get it, Elena! What do you see in him?"
"This coming from the girl who slept with Klaus" came Elena's quick retort.
Caroline looked like she had just been slapped.
"Tell me, Caroline, what makes Damon so different from Klaus? Yes, Damon compelled you and fed on you five years ago. Yes, Damon has killed people. And yes, Damon has made some seriously fucked up decisions. And what has Klaus done? He turned Stefan back into a ripper. He has killed thousands of people, Aunt Jenna included. He tried to use me as his personal blood bag and then tried to kill me. He turned Tyler into a hybrid and used the sire-bond and compulsion against us. But you know what? I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you found someone to care about. We are vampires. We've all done horrible things. Damon, Klaus, you, and me included."
"Then why leave Damon?" Caroline asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"He has always been there for me, Caroline. Every time! And he wasn't this time! I needed him, and he wasn't there. I needed him to save me…and he couldn't even save himself. He was consumed with darkness. I can't be the only light in his life—not when I know he has so much light hidden inside. He just has to figure that out first. But I can't just sit around here and wait for that to happen while I die a little bit inside each day. "
And with that, Elena grabbed her suitcases and said, "I can't stay here any longer. I'll call you when I get settled somewhere. Take care of everyone for me, will you?"
Then, without waiting for a response, Elena walked off, her bags in tow.
"Elena, wait!" Caroline called out, effectively stopping her friend from getting any further. She rushed to Elena and pulled her into a fierce hug. "I'm sorry," she murmured in Elena's hair before she pulled back. "Be careful and call me if you need anything. I'll watch over Jeremy for you."
Elena smiled up at Caroline and hugged her friend again.
"I love you, Car."
"Love you, too, Elena."
A week later…
Caroline, a woman on a mission, stormed into the boarding house and appeared at Damon's door. Not even bothering to knock, she pushed the door open and regarded the room in disgust. Alcohol bottles and empty blood bags littered almost every surface of the room, and the room smelled like a homeless person had been living in it.
"What do you want, Barbie?" Damon slurred from where he lay sprawled out on the bed, a bottle of Bourbon hanging precariously from his right hand.
Caroline sneered in disgust, but ignored Damon's comment as she snatched the bottle from his hand.
"Hey! What the hell did you do that for? If you hadn't noticed, I was busy trying to drink myself into oblivion here."
"Okay. Let's get a few things straight here. This—" She gestured to the room. "—is disgusting. No person—human, werewolf, or vampire—should ever have to step foot into this room, let alone live in it. Secondly, I don't like you. I think you are an arrogant, self-absorbed dickhead who I would be better off having never met. You are hateful, spiteful, and self-destructive, and nothing I say or anything you do in the near future will change that. But, you are going to get your pathetic ass out of bed, sober up, take a shower, and you are going to go after Elena. You are going to explain everything to her, and you are going to make her listen. She is going to be pissed, and there is a high likelihood that she will throw something at your head, but you are going to win her back. Because she is completely in love with you, and even though I hate you with every fiber of my being, I can see that you love her. And I am not going to let you two idiots screw that up."
Damon rolled his eyes, giving Caroline a bored look. "In case all those blonde dye jobs have addled the few brain cells you were born with, you should remember that Elena broke up with me. She's not going to take me back."
"God, you two are a psychiatrist's nightmare! You with your inferiority complex and her with her abandonment issues. It's a wonder the two of you haven't self-combusted. Of course she's not going to just run back into your arms. You have to make her! When has Elena ever done anything you told her to? The two of you fight like cats and dogs. One of you does something stupid or tries to protect the other or is just bored that day and you fight. You yell at each other and push each other's buttons, but at the end of the day, the two of you are stronger than ever before. No one has ever made Elena happier than you. God, even when she was with Stefan, she was never really happy—not like she was with you. For God knows what reasons, you're good for her, and she is unbelievably good for you. So are you going to be stubborn about this, or do I need to go elicit Stefan's help?"
Damon rubbed his eyes with his hand. "Look, Blondie. Even if I did want to get Elena back, I have no idea where she is. She could be in Asia now for all I know."
"If anyone could find Elena, you could. Think about it, Damon. Can you think of any place she would go?"
Damon's forehead furrowed, and he sighed. "There might be one place," he conceded. "But it's a long shot."
Caroline gave him an expectant look.
"Oh, fine. But when Elena rejects me again—which she will—it'll be your fault when I descend into alcoholism and debauchery once more," Damon said as he swung his feet out of bed, taking one long last swig out of a bottle of jack beside his bed.
"Oh sure, blame all your deep-rooted psychological problems on me," Caroline said sarcastically. "I don't care. Just get her back." She started to leave but paused before she crossed the threshold. "Oh, and Damon?" she called out. "Shower before you leave. You smell like an old sock."
Guess Blondie didn't hate him so much after all, he thought with a smirk as he went about his business to clean himself up. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. So he was going to hop in his car, drive to Georgia, and hope like hell that Elena was there waiting for him. He was going to win her back.
Elena sat at the bar, nursing a drink in her hand. It was her second of the night, but she had yet to feel a buzz thanks to her extremely fast vampiric metabolism.
Elena hadn't gone to Georgia at first. When she left Mystic Falls, she had had no idea where she was going to go so she just hopped in her car and drove for two nights straight. She ended up in a little hole-in-the-wall town in Illinois where she had crashed in a seedy motel for a night. From there she had traveled to Wyoming and then California before she decided to drive to Georgia and got there the night before. She planned on only staying there for a day or two before moving on. Maybe she would hop a plane in Atlanta this time and go to another country.
She had always wanted to travel, anyway, but that's the problem with immortality. Once you have all the time in the world, the pressure to see and do new things is gone since you quite literally have infinity to do it.
Elena was startled out of her thoughts when she felt an arm slide around her shoulder.
"Hey, darlin'" a drunk man drawled, his sweaty hand clinging to her shoulder. "What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting all by yourself at the bar?"
Elena cringed as she tried to slide away from the man's arm. "I'm not looking for company," Elena said brusquely. "Please get your arm off of me."
"Now, now, darlin'. There's so need to act like that. We could have some fun." The man winked lasciviously.
Elena opened her mouth to tell the guy to kindly go to hell, but she was interrupted.
"I believe she asked you to go away," came the oh-so-familiar voice from behind her.
"Damon, what are you doing here?" Elena growled.
"Yeah, Damon. Me and the lady here were doing just fine," the man asserted as he pulled Elena toward him, despite her protests.
In an instant, Damon was inches from the man's face. "If you don't remove your arm from her shoulders in the next three seconds, I swear to whatever deity you believe in that I will rip it from your fucking shoulder," Damon snarled.
Shook up, the man quickly pulled his arm from Elena's shoulders and let it fall to his side.
Damon's pupils dilated slightly as he continued to speak, a sure sign that compulsion was to follow. "You are going to leave this bar and go back home to whatever human being is kind enough to tolerate you," he ordered, looking directly into the man's eyes. "You are going to remember how lucky you are to have them. And you are never going to hit on unwilling girls at the bar ever again."
Dazed, the man got up and promptly walked out of the bar.
Elena sighed once he was gone and regarded Damon. "I could have taken care of that myself, you know."
Damon sat down at the bar beside her. "I know. But the guy didn't seem to get the message."
"It's not your job to protect me anymore."
"Elena, it's been my job to protect you from the moment I met you. Even when you were an unbelievably difficult pain in the ass and I hated you, I still wanted you to protect you."
"What are you doing here, Damon?" Elena asked tiredly.
"Isn't it obvious? I came to win you back," he answered with a tentative smile.
Elena took a long sip from her drink before she replied, "I thought I made it clear that our relationship was over."
"You did. And you asked for your time to talk, and I gave that to you. But now it's my turn. There are things you don't know—things I need to explain."
"There's nothing to explain, Damon. I was there the entire time Katherine was. I saw everything. I felt everything. Nothing you can say will change that." Elena pushed away from the bar and started to walk out.
"I am in love with you. And I know you're still in love with me," Damon called out across the bar.
The other patrons turned to stare at them.
Elena shook her head. "I can't do this." She turned and walked out of the bar with Damon following close behind her. In the parking lot, she whirled around to face him.
"Leave me alone. I don't want you back, Damon!"
"Then tell me, Elena. Why go to Georgia? Georgia is our place. It has been from the second we came here to take a break from reality. This was the first place we ever had fun together. The place where we let loose and forgot about all of our problems. The place where you fought to save my life. The place where you decided I was worth saving. Face it, Elena. Whether it was subconscious or not, you came here because of me."
Elena crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe I did. So what? It doesn't change anything. It doesn't mean I forgive you for every horrible thing you did."
"I don't expect you to. I screwed up, and I know that. But you've forgiven me before. You knew who I was when we started this relationship, Elena. I'm not Stefan. I'm not the good brother. I'm always going to screw up."
"This has nothing to do with that!" Elena shouted.
"Then, what Elena?! What is it?!"
"I trusted you! You said you would never leave me again, and you did. I trusted you to be there for me, and you weren't. You were the only one who would have realized—the only one who I thought knew me well enough to know that that wasn't me. I needed you, and what did you do? You took off, you killed Aaron, and you almost killed Jeremy!" Elena yelled, clearly angry and hurt, although no tears were shining in her eyes yet. "Do you know what it felt like when Katherine first fully took over? I saw you that night, and it no longer mattered that I was furious with you for breaking up with me the night before. I was so sure that you would protect me, that you would stop Katherine. I ran into your arms, and when she took over, I watched as she broke your heart. And I was sure, so sure, that there was no way you would believe her. That after everything we had been through, after all the times I had chosen you over and over again even after everything and everyone tried to keep us apart, that you would know that I would never do that. But you believed her… How could you believe her, Damon?" Elena's eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. She didn't give him a chance to answer. "And then, I had to watch as you destroyed the lives of everyone that was close to me. How could you? Did you really hate me that much?"
Damon flinched at her question. He had to make her see that she meant everything to him and that her rejection destroyed him. If only she could understand…
"There's nothing I can say to take back what I did, Elena, but maybe I can make you understand why I did it. Just hear me out," he urged. "I've never been the person people chose, Elena. Even before I became a vampire, people never liked me; they didn't choose me. Stefan was always the good child, the favorite. Fathers told their daughters to stay away from me, the boys my age wanted nothing to do with me, hell, even my own father couldn't stand to look at me. I was a disappointment to him and all because I refused to murder people in a war I didn't support. Then Katherine came along and for the first time, someone chose me. She loved me for who I was…or at least that's what I thought at the time. Then I found out she was with Stefan, too. And you know what's really messed up? I didn't care. I was so grateful that she liked me that I didn't care if she was screwing Stefan, too. When I found out she was a vampire, I even forgave her for that. I trusted Stefan to keep our secret, to choose us over our father. But he didn't; he chose our father over me—the same father who later shot and killed us. We became vampires, and I had to watch Stefan chose the bloodlust over everything, while I continued to wait one hundred fifty years to be reunited with the woman I loved.
"And then I met you two years ago. You intrigued me, but I was still in love with Katherine. We grew closer, became friends, and then, in this very parking lot, I watched as you chose me for the first time—as you chose to save my life. Later, you chose to trust me and help me get Katherine out of the tomb. Only to find out later on, that she was never there. It hurt so bad to find out that the woman I had waited for for such a long time didn't even care. Because I wasn't her choice. Stefan was. Then, you kissed me, and I thought that, for once, maybe someone had chosen me. Turns out it was Katherine all along and that you couldn't even believe I thought you would kiss me back. It was like the whole idea was completely ludicrous because how could someone like you choose someone like me?"
Elena pursed her lips, but did not interrupt Damon.
"When I saw Katherine for the first time since I became a vampire, I instantly forgave her. I told her that we could forget everything that had happened and start over. Then she smiled at me like I was a naïve idiot and told me that it would always be Stefan. I was so hurt and so angry when I went to your house that night, and the fact that you said the exact same words Katherine had said to me only made it worse. So I did what I do best. I lashed out and snapped Jeremy's neck. It took a long time to get you to trust me again after that, but you did. You forgave me, and we became friends again."
Elena shook her head. "That's exactly what I'm talking about Damon! Any time you get hurt, you lash out. Then you just expect me to forgive you every time. I can't do that. It hurts too much."
"Things are a lot different now than they were then, Elena," Damon said gently.
"What's different now from then?" Elena asked.
"The fact that not long after that I fell in love with you. I think I had been in love with you for long before that, and it just took me until then to realize it. I knew you were attracted to me, but it wasn't until our little road trip to get Jeremy back that you finally acted on it. When you kissed me outside that motel room, I allowed myself to hope, once again, that you would choose me. But then I was dying, and you had to make a choice—me or Stefan. You told me it was always going to be Stefan."
Elena averted her eyes. It was clear that memory was not a good one for her.
"When you turned, things grew more intense between us. We understood each other and connected on a level I didn't even know was possible," Damon explained. "I can't tell you how happy I was that next morning when we woke up together in my bed. I thought that for once things might work out for the good. Then we found out about the sire-bond, and my world was thrown back into its usual order because, of course, you couldn't actually be in love with me. You didn't choose me. The sire bond did.
"But you stayed. You kept reassuring me that this was real, and you were right. The three months after that were quite honestly the best three months of my entire existence. Everything was perfect. But then, as if we need something else to go against us, I found out that the actual universe was conspiring against us to unite the doppelgangers. When you found out about the Augustine vampires and me killing the Whitmores every year, well that was the last straw. Because there was no way you would keep choosing me, not with every single messed up thing between us. I ended it before you could.
Damon shook his head in self-deprecation. "After that, Stefan of all people convinced me to fight for you. He made me realize how much of an absolute idiot I am for ever letting you go. I searched for you all day. Then, when I finally found you, I thought that everything would be okay. You are the best person I know, Elena. You're the only one who's ever seen any good—any light—in me. So when Katherine proceeded to rip my heart out once more and I thought that even you thought I was a monster, I figured what was the point? What was the point in trying to be good if everyone thought I was a monster anyways? When it seemed like you thought I was a monster, well…I knew that it must be true. But it was different this time. I didn't enjoy it. I couldn't revel in it like I would have two years ago. When I killed Aaron, I felt worse than ever before. You have changed me, Elena, and I was miserable because of it. Everything went to shit from there because I lost you and didn't see what the point was anymore. I lost you, and I just stopped wanting to live. That's why I tried to destroy everything and everyone in my path, and I did a pretty good job of that. I cannot tell you what I felt when you broke through Katherine's control that night. Because that was when I knew for sure that I had lost you forever, that there was no way you would ever forgive me for all of that."
***Flashback***
"Spell worked," Damon said flippantly, throwing a scathing glance over at Elena and Stefan. He briefly wondered how long it would be before the two of them got back together, but quickly decided that that was their problem now. "Wes is in Richmond."
"Brilliant. I'll drive," Enzo replied.
Damon turned to follow him out the door when he suddenly heard Elena call out.
"Damon!" Elena shouted, her voice filled with desperation.
Damon whirled around. "What, Elena? What more could you possibly want from me?"
Damon watched as Elena struggled to stand. She had just been staked in the back, but she should've been fine after her hero Stefan pulled it out. But right now, she looked as though she was fighting her own body, as if something was controlling her.
"Damon," she croaked in slow, halting speech. "Help. Katherine—"
Elena collapsed to the floor. She shook violently and her eyes flashed black. Suddenly, Elena was back to normal, albeit confused.
And it was in that moment that everything clicked into place. There was a reason why Elena had been acting so differently the last several days. There was a reason why she tore his heart into a million pieces as he stood there practically begging her to take him back. There was a reason why Elena went back to Stefan.
It wasn't Elena.
Damon felt instantly sick. He felt like running until he was a million miles from here, a million miles from the damage he'd caused. He felt like killing something. He felt like collapsing to the floor and sobbing. He felt like he was drowning.
It didn't matter that it had been Katherine who had ended their relationship because he had effectively just done it himself. There was no coming back from what he had done. Elena had forgiven him for a lot of things in the past, but she would never forgive him for this. He knew that.
But he also knew that despite all he had done, despite how hurt he had been and how guilty he felt now, he would do everything in his power and beyond to get Elena—the real Elena—back. Because he loved her. And that would never change.
***End Flashback***
Damon shook his head to clear the thoughts of one of the worst moments of his existence and continued to plead with Elena, "I just wanted you to understand why I acted the way I did. I know that I hurt you and that I let you down. I'll understand if you don't want to be with me. But I had to try one more time. If nothing else, please just come back to Mystic Falls. You don't have to be with me. We can be friends. I just can't bear the thought of losing you completely."
"I don't condone what you did, Damon, but I understand your reasons," Elena said gently. "But I can't be the only good in your life, Damon. I'm not a doll. You can't just put me on a pedestal, because if you do, I will fall. You have to find the good in yourself and hold onto it. Otherwise, whenever there's yet another misunderstanding to test us or any time we fight and you get hurt again, the same thing is going to happen."
"I know who you are, Elena. You are the best person I know, but I'm not putting you on a pedestal. I'm not blind to your faults. You're self-righteous and impulsive. You rush headfirst into danger without giving any thought to your own safety. You live by a frankly ridiculous set of morals and get pissed at anyone who doesn't agree with it. You absolutely infuriate me. I swear, most of the time I either want to kiss you or strangle you. But, I am also completely and totally in love with you," Damon sincerely declared. "I love you, Elena, and I am going to love you for the rest of my existence. You are it for me," he repeated the words that he didn't know she had said to Caroline only a week earlier.
Looking torn, Elena managed to whisper, "Damon, I—I can't. Too much has happened. Too much—"
"I know, Elena," he interrupted. "But I promise you that if you will forgive me, I will do everything in my power for the rest of eternity to make you not regret making that decision. If you forgive me, I will love you forever, and I will be there for you always."
He took a step forward. "Forgive me, Elena," he asked, his voice low in her ears.
Weakly, Elena slowly shook her head no.
Damon took another step forward, only a foot away from her now. "Forgive me," he asked, his voice gentle, as his eyes bored into hers.
Elena stayed perfectly still.
"Forgive me" came Damon's final plea before he took the last step towards her and grabbed her face, capturing her lips with his own.
Elena froze for a moment, too shocked to do anything, before she finally kissed him back. With one hand circling the back of her neck and the other on her lower back, Damon pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as she finally nodded her head to give him the answer he wanted.
The kiss felt like completion. It felt like coming home as they poured every emotion they had into the kiss. They let their bodies speak in ways their words would not. Damon held her tight to say that he would never let her go again. Elena pressed kisses to his neck to tell him that she still wanted him—that he was still her choice. Damon's gentle kisses down her jawline told her that he was sorry for the hurt he had caused her. Elena's fingers entwining in his hair told him that she was glad he came after her.
Their kiss was interrupted several long minutes later by cat-calls and whistles from a group of drunken teenagers leaving the bar. Damon pulled away only slightly to where he could see Elena's face.
"Do you want to take this somewhere more private?" he murmured, his thumbs rubbing circles on her back.
Elena nodded. "I have a hotel room."
"Perfect." He smiled at her. "How far away is it?"
"About ten minutes." Elena smirked a very Damon-like smirk and said, "Your car is closer."
Damon laughed and then pulled her back into his embrace. With her head tucked beneath his, he spoke gently into her hair. "Elena Gilbert, I am completely in love with you."
Elena smiled up at him as he pulled back to lightly kiss her lips and answered, "Damon Salvatore, I love you, too, and I will always choose you."
Later on the way back to Mystic Falls, Elena laid in the front seat of Damon's car, her head on his lap as he played with her hair with one hand.
"Everything isn't fixed between us, you know," she said quietly, looking up at him.
"I know."
"But we'll figure it out."
"Together?"
"Together."
Author's Note: Thank you guys for reading! If you enjoyed it or even if you didn't, please leave a review. Shout out to my two betas, DelenaDJ and iDontKissAndTell, for being totally awesome and helping me revise about 90% of this.
Oh and one last note, I am currently working on a multi-chapter Dramione fic that should be coming out sometime within the next three to six months (I want to have it completely written before I start posting) so keep an eye out for that if that pairing is your cup of tea.
Ciao!