Hello my fellow readers! This is my first story on this account but worry not, I have experience from writing on another account. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.

And Mr. Landy, if indeed you are reading this on Christmas, Hi! What's your favorite color? Anyway, I hope you enjoy my fanfiction.

I do not own Skulduggery Pleasant... The wonderful Mr. Landy does.

Brother of Mine

The dark ominous clouds threatened rain above Haggard as Valkyrie Cain sat in the passenger seat of Skulduggery's Bentley. They were returning from an investigation that had taken two and a half weeks to solve.

Valkyrie rubbed her eyelids in exhaustion and was in the middle of a yawn when Skulduggery's phone rang.

His skull of a head gazed at it as if considering whether to take it or not. The ring tone was different for this certain caller. Instead of the usual sound of someone screaming it was an evil chuckle.

Valkyrie peered at him with curiosity. "What's with the laughing mobile?"

Skulduggery sighed and withdrew the cackling phone from his overcoat pocket. He warily regarded the caller ID and shook his head slightly. He pressed his bone of a finger on the ignore button and put the phone on his lap.

Valkyrie blinked a couple of times and leaned in, trying to see the number of the mystery caller. "Who-" Valkerie started but was cut of abruptly by Skulduggery's curt response.

"No one."

She was taken aback by the force of his voice. She hadn't heard that tone since her new dog stole his arm one day and he had to chase it around her backyard for half an hour. Even then, however, he had his chagrin to keep him from getting to angry. Now he seemed to be steaming.

"Are you okay?" Valkyrie asked, sitting properly in her seat again.

Skulduggery was silent for a moment. He seemed to be pondering something. Then let out a breath he had, apparently, been holding.

"Just an unexpected caller is all," Skulduggery said letting humor creep into his voice. "Furniture salesman and such. Pesky things they are."

"You sounded pretty upset," Valkyrie pressed. She didn't believe a single word he was saying. After all, the other day he was complaining on having to get a shower curtain rod for the new bathroom he installed for guests.

Skulduggery shrugged, "It's been a long couple of weeks." He was trying to shake the topic of as if it were attached to his back. His head stared straight ahead and didn't even flinch. His fingers, however, were shaking nervously. This made Valkyrie raise an eyebrow since Skullduggery was usually calm and cool tempered even in the most drastic of times.

"We've had longer cases," Valkyrie continued, pressing him further.

"Your not going to drop this are you?" Skulduggery said, glancing at her.

"Do I ever?" she tried a grin. She hoped this showed that she thought the topic light and that whatever it was, she wouldn't be too shocked.

"No, I guess not," his voice becoming lighter. "Alright, I'll tell you, but don't go off and tell everybody else!"

Valkyrie pondered this for two seconds and nodded.

Skulduggery parked into the driveway of his house. He put his arms on his sides and layed his back against his chair. "I..." but before he could finish his sentence his cell phone rang in another fit of laughter. "Oh, for the love of-" he clutched the phone angrily and clicked the answer button. He placed it where his ear should have been and answered a rude, "What?"

"Is that any way to talk to your older brother?" said the person on the other side of the phone.

Skulduggery stiffened. "How did you even get my number? I haven't heard your voice in one hundred years. They didn't even have mobile phones back then!" Skulduggery answered bitterly.

"You know me, brother. I have my ways." The voice on the other line was similar to Skulduggery's, except it was more arrogant (if possible) and had a certain thickness to it, almost like a drawl.

"You certainly do. So, why did you call?" Skulduggery's bitterness was replaced by curiosity.

"I was hoping that maybe I could visit," the voice said with a humorous air to it.

"No," was all Skulduggery said as his finger made for the end call button. Before the he hung up, he heard one last thing.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

Skulduggery stuffed the phone back in his pocket angrily. He ripped the keys from the ignition and opened the door, letting a chilly breeze into the car. The air around him was tense again. Valkyrie knew better than to talk and provoke him into deeper frustration. Besides, she had overheard the phone call and the only question in her mind was the obvious, 'Skulduggery has a brother?'

She opened the car door after him and stepped out. She pulled her jacket closer to her to keep the icy wind out. Their steps echoed on the cobble stones as they made there way up Skulduggery's drive way and to the front door.

Once inside, they both hung their coats and Skulduggery rolled up his sleeves.

"Hungry?" said Skulduggery. His voice faking lightness.

Valkyrie stared at the back of his skull and he made his way to the newly installed kitchen.

"Sure..." she nodded slowly. She decided on asking about the phone call later, when he was in a lighter mood. She walked into the kitchen and sat down at one of the creaky wooden chairs at the long wooden table. Albeit new, the kitchen was already gathering dust. Valkyrie wiped of a thin layer of it from the table. She looked at her sleeve, now with gray specks clinging to the black fabric.

"Um... Skulduggery?" she said, brushing the dust off her sleeve.

"Hm?" he asked, deep in thought. He picked up a plate of leftover chicken and stuck it in the microwave.

She listened to the tone in his voice and wondered how she would approach the question. She decided to start out with small talk, then she would get to the question she wanted to ask. Never, in the time she had known Skulduggery, had she heard of him having any living family members. She started to get anxious, but willed herself to be patient.

"Have... um... you talked to Tanith lately?" Valkyrie started uneasily. Small talk had never been her thing. No matter who she was talking to. Even Skullduggery... Especially Skullduggery. Her mind corrected. He had always been able to figure out when she was forcing small talk, being polite or lying.

Skulduggery looked up at her. If he were human he would have raised an eyebrow. "We saw her last week. You're still a teenager Valkyrie, your mind can't be slipping yet. I'm thousands of years old and I remember everything."

"Ha, ha," Valkyrie said sarcastically. Inside she felt slightly relieved that he was using his arrogant voice again. Not to mention making jokes...

Skulduggery pressed a few buttons and watched as the chicken leg started to revolve around the small metal box.

After a minute of awkward silence the microwave beeped three times and Skulduggery pulled the hot plate out.

He placed the plate in front of her and went to get a cup of milk.

"Skulduggery?" said Valkyrie, carefully testing the waters.

"What?" he asked. A hint of curiosity in his voice.

He seemed fine to her...

"You have a brother?" she asked quickly.

Suddenly Skulduggery stiffened again. "Y- yes."

"Why didn't you ever mention him?" She realized that the shock she secretly thought would come, never did. Instead she felt overwhelming curiosity.

He turned around dramatically and put his hands on the counter behind him. He sighed, almost irritably. "Have you ever had a relative you didn't particularly like, Valkyrie?"

Valkyrie blinked as a long list of names practically appeared before her eyes. "A... a couple," she lied.

"Well this is a bit like this," he said. "But worse..."

Skulduggery grabbed the cup of milk he was preparing and placed it in front of her. He stood back and looked at her. He cocked his head and sighed.

"Ah- Valkarie?"

Valkyrie looked up from her plate carefully. She had just picked up a fork and was about to stick it into the wet looking chicken. "Yes?"

"Sorry if I'm scaring you but you see... My brother..." He sucked in a great breath and let it out. "Scares me."

"..." Valkyrie just froze there.

Skulduggery looked up and was surprized by the fit of laughter that took over Valkyrie.

"Ha, ha, ha! Your scared of your brother?" She dropped her fork and it landed on the table with a clatter. With her hands now free she grabbed her sides and continued to laugh. "Since when are you afraid of anything?" She tried to restrain herself but ended up breaking her next couple of sentences with fits of giggles. "You've faced ...dangerous monsters... villains and ... and...death itself, but you fear your... your brother? C'mon... that... can't... be... it!" Valkire lost all her fear from before with this shocking news. This had to be some kind of joke.

Skulduggery shook his head. However his next sentence held a bit of humor. "You don't understand. I'm much smarter and cooler than all of the villains I've faced. My brother... is the only person who could ever manage to embarrass me."

Valkarie smiled, glad that his humor was back. "Well in that case, I can't wait to meet him."

Skulduggery sighed and his hung his head. "I'd better go clean the house..."

As soon as he left the room a thought entered Valkyrie's mind. "Is he a skeleton, too?"

There was a pause in the atmosphere and Skulduggery shouted from the living room. "Of course not!"

"Just checking."

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

The next morning Skulduggery spent looking out the window of his house. He gave the biggest jump when Valkyrie knocked on his back door.

He had opened it slowly to see who it was before letting her in. "Why are you sneaking on me, huh? Trying to scare me?"

Valkyrie smiled and asked, "Still worried about your brother?"

"What brother? I don't have a brother."

"Hey, who's that?" Valkyrie pointed behind him and he gasped and turned around, only to find no one behind him.

"I admire when you pull tricks, Valkyrie, but not when they're on me!"

Valkyrie only laughed as she entered to the house.

Her eyes widened when she saw the inside. She had never seen the place so clean. The wood was polished, the table tops dusted, the floors mopped and vacuumed, the desk organized, the dishes washed and the couch didn't produce dust when she sat on it. Was she in the right house?

"Too much?" Skulduggery asked when he followed her into the living room.

"No, it's very nice... but is this for your brother?"

"N-no."

"Cut the act, Skulduggery."

He sighed and folded his arms.

"So, when does he arrive?" Valkyrie asked.

Skulduggery took out his pocket watch and tensed. "Now."

Well? How was that? The rest will come soon. In fact I will begin as soon as I upload this.

Your welcome to R&R and Subscribe.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter.

Raven Ink