Because He Loved Him
A loud slamming noise startled Tony awake; dragging him away from what had been a relaxing and dreamless sleep and forcing him to sit straight up. The covers pooled around his bare waist, the sheets soft against his skin. Confusion settled in as he was caught between the waking world and the sleeping one, not sure where he was or what the noise has been. He blearily looked around and the confusion slunk away as he recognised his own bedroom.
The noise however still eluded him so he continued searching the room, eyes sweeping over the floor and furniture but found nothing out of the ordinary. The night before he and Steve had rushed to bed, kissing and teasing each other whilst they ripped the clothes from one another. They'd fallen onto the bed half dressed but that had been remedied quickly and he was pretty sure the garments had been tossed to the floor and forgotten about. When they were finished they'd fallen asleep in a tangle of limbs, wrapped up in each other and not thinking of anything but getting their breath back. Looking at the floor now he saw that it was clean, all the clothes having disappeared. As he pondered this he realised how empty the bed actually was and looked to the right. Sure enough that side was empty, the sheets and pillows looking like they'd been tidy before he'd jumped up. Steve must have gathered up their discarded clothing and folded it away somewhere. His eyes travelled around the room and this time they landed on a door, the one leading into their en suite bathroom. It was normally left open in case one of them woke up in the middle of the night and needed to use the toilet. Steve was a super solider and Tony had an armored suit but that still didn't let them see in the dark and considering it was a straight walk it was pretty easy to do.
At this moment, however, the door was closed and as Tony came to the conclusion that Steve had for some reason slammed it shut the muted noise of the shower running came to him. He sighed and flopped back down, spreading his limbs out and starfishing in the bed as he stretched his muscles. It had been a damn good sleep, something that he hadn't been getting enough of lately and he was a little annoyed that the one time he'd managed to finally get some rest Steve had gone round slamming doors. He snorted and shook his head. Door, he thought correcting himself. But still, it had been loud.
A groan escaped him as he realised that trying to get back to sleep was futile, knowing that once he was awake he could never go back asleep. He rolled over and glared at the bathroom door, shooting daggers at it and the man concealed behind it. If looks could kill, or knock down doors, that thing would be off its hinges by now. Sighing to himself he shuffled over on to Steve's side and was pleased to feel a slight warmth there, his face nestling into the pillow and inhaling Steve's scent. He was pissed off with him, but man that man smelled good. Another inhale and he felt his mood grow lighter which wasn't what he wanted, oh no. When Steve stepped out of that door he was going to get such a tongue lashing, one filled with sarcasm and threats of waking Steve up at some point to get revenge.
As Tony went to roll over again, this time on to his back, he caught sight of a book lying on Steve's bedside cabinet. Normally this wouldn't catch his eye and interest him but the cover was blank, a dark navy blue with no title or artwork and it wasn't shaped like a classic book either, the pages looking to be A4 sized. For a moment he thought it was a diary but chuckled to himself at the thought. Steve, the all American Hero wouldn't keep a diary but then he saw the pencil lying next to it and wondered. No, he told himself, it can't be a diary. Steve wasn't the type of guy to write his feelings down so Tony didn't feel guilty when he reached over, grabbed the book and flipped it open to a random point.
His eyes widened when he saw the content, flicking back to the first page and admiring what he saw. No, it wasn't a diary but it felt almost as personal as one. The book wasn't a book but a sketchpad, the paper a lovely quality that all artists preferred. For this first drawing the whole page had been used, creating the scene of an elderly couple sitting on a bench in what looked like a park. The detail was magnificent, right down to the old man's coat, the woman's hair and the pond that lay before them. It was all done in pencil, the trees shaded and sketched beautifully. In the top right there was a close up of the couple, their old and tired faces drawn perfectly.
Tony turned the page and saw quick sketches and doodles, all of them people. Then the next couple of pages looked like practice work with close up drawings of eyes, noses and various other body parts. There were some more full-page drawings of different people, scenes he must have captured whilst he was out. After these he turned over and saw some coloured concepts of the Captain America suit, different versions with different weapons or ways that the suit fit. He smirked to himself as he saw one of Steve's notations. 'Current suit is a little tight especially around crotch area. May need to look at sizes.' There was no way Steve would be changing sizes. Tony liked that tight suit and crotch area just the way it was although as this thought crossed his mind he saw a sketch that had a double thigh holster. He felt himself twitch a little at that, something about a thigh holster on a man always got him going and just picturing Steve with a double one made him want to moan.
Still grinning he turned the page and froze. His heart stuttered a little and his breath caught in his chest, the grin slowly slipping off his face. The first page was a drawing of him from the waist up, the background making it look like it had been done in his living room. His head was turned towards something that was out of shot. Something about the way the light was reflected and the shadow on the furniture in the background made him think it was the TV he was focused on. Again the detailing was exquisite, his face perfectly captured in this penciled sketch. It didn't look rushed or hurried either; precious time had been spent on it. The detail in his hair, beard and face drove the breath out of him. He stood out on the page and his eyes were drawn towards his own face. On the page opposite this there were close ups of his face. Those were definitely his lips and the eyes were his too, one eyebrow quirked up ever so slightly. A blush crept up his neck as he saw the attention Steve had put into these.
Tony had had an idea Steve drew; there had been little signs and such. He'd caught him once or twice with something like this sketchpad in his hands, face intent and pencil scratching but every time he'd come near or asked to see what Steve had been up to he had been rebuffed. He would have pursued it but Steve had a way of distracting him with either questions about his work or kisses. Both would lead to very long, intense and passionate tangents and by the time he was finished with either a lecture on his latest project or untangling himself from Steve he would have forgotten about what he'd seen.
But it all came back to him now and as it did guilt washed over him. This was the same as a diary. Steve drew in here, poured his feelings and his heart into these sketches. It didn't matter if they were quick little doodles, hurried practicing or ones like the one he was seeing now. They were all private and personal to him and Tony was invading this. The blush slipped upwards to his face as he realised what he was doing and it was a testament to how much he actually loved the guy that he started to close it over. As he did however a nagging curiosity was dancing about. He wanted to see more, not just because it was Steve's work but also because it was beautiful. The way Steve drew, the way he caught each person and the emotions on their face blew Tony away and he hungered for more of his lover's art.
Tony cocked his head and listened for a few seconds, making sure the shower was still running. His stomach twisted at the sneakiness of it but he knew that if he was caught looking at this then Steve would probably never forgive him. He heard the dull noise of the water and thanked God the super soldier loved his long showers. He told himself that he should quit whilst he was ahead, whilst he had time to put the sketchbook back in the exact same place and then go make some coffee. He told himself all this as he pushed some pillows up against the headboard and settled against them and placed the pad into his lap.
Tony flicked through the pages slowly, eyeing every drawing no matter how unimportant and taking it in. If he was honest, there was no drawing unimportant. Each one had been rendered by his lover's hand and he wanted to see what the man could do. There was more practice work, more Captain America concepts and more landscapes with people dotted about. Every so often he would come to one of him and marvel at it.
A favourite of Tony's came to him when he was about a third of the way through the pad. It was a man and woman sitting at a table, a tall and thin candle placed between them. It looked like they were in a restaurant, the background only quickly sketched. Steve must have decided to just draw the couple, maybe planning to fill the bits and pieces in later on but wanting to catch these two young lovers as quickly as he could. Their hands were clasped in the middle of the table, hovering in front of the candlestick. Tony could see wine glasses half full with a dark liquid and empty plates in front of them. The woman wore a long dress, the fabric clinging to her body and showing her off in a way that was elegant. The man was in a suit; dark and looking like it was tailored to fit him like a second skin. But the main feature that drew Tony in was their faces. Both were filled with such promise, such joy. The woman was laughing, the man's mouth just at the beginning of a smile. Their eyes danced as they held each other in their gaze, locked together forever in this drawing.
It was perfect. It was beautiful. It was harmony at it's finest, a young couple looking so in love and carefree.
Thankful that Steve was deciding on an extra long shower this morning Tony looked through more drawings. He smiled to himself as he saw an amazing drawing of Natasha, her head down and focused on the sheets of paper in front of her. Steve had caught her stoic and calm manner perfectly. He actually chuckled to himself when he turned the page and saw a couple of drawings of Bruce, the man working at his desk in one and standing at one of his screens in another. That perpetual frown on his face as he worked. On the page opposite these there were sketches of Hawkeye. Another chuckle came to him as he realised that most of the Avengers were there. Steve would just need to grab Thor and keep him still for an hour or so and they'd have the set!
Tony turned the page one last time, having come to the middle of the pad and the end of Steve's drawings. They were of Tony and once again they took his breath away. Steve had done a double page spread on him it seemed, using one page to draw a detailed sketch whilst the other had close ups and quick drawings. He was sleeping; lying on his side with one arm tucked beneath his head whilst the other was draped over his own stomach and side and lay on the mattress. The sheets had been dragged down through the night, exposing his chest and belly and Steve had captured them perfectly once again. The detail was incredible; the hair that lay across his skin looking like it had been drawn one follicle at a time. His mouth hung open slightly, most likely snoring and he grinned to himself.
He glanced at the rest of the close ups but his eyes kept coming back to the full-page drawing. There'd been one thing he'd noticed with every drawing of himself that Steve had done. Each one had an intimacy that none of the others had, each one had been special and secret. Not even the one of the loving couple could match the feelings that were evoked when he looked upon them. These drawings had been done with love and he felt it radiate outward. Steve drew him because he loved him and in turn Tony loved him that much more fiercely. He ran his fingertips lightly over the drawing, the pads of his finger just barely grazing over it, not wanting to smudge the pencil. A soft sigh was released and he felt his eyes well up, frowning at that but not knowing how to stop it. He knew for a fact that this one had been done only this morning, not sure how he knew but certain in the knowledge.
At that moment he heard a clatter in the bathroom followed by some humming. He jumped up, sitting bolt upright again and staring nervously at the bathroom door. Realising that Steve was almost done Tony glanced back down at the drawing, taking it in one final time, knowing that it might be a very long time before he was able to look upon these beautiful pieces of art again. He quietly closed the sketchpad over, absentmindedly stroking his fingers over the front. Before he knew what he was doing he'd raised the pad to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss to the cover. Steve's voice grew a little louder as he started to sing to himself, an old song that Tony had never heard of before. It made him jump again and he decided not to push his luck any further. He carefully leaned over and placed the notebook in the exact same position it had been in when he'd found it. Another twist of the stomach at the slyness of it all but it had to be done. The door handle rattled and he threw himself down, pretending to only just be waking up as Steve stepped out of the bathroom.
The sight of the other man before him caused Tony to twitch once more, those double holsters flashing into his mind for a brief second. He had a towel wrapped around him, the wet fabric clinging to his thighs where it came to rest just above his knees. His chest and stomach, along with his arms were beaded with water. The droplets clinging to that golden skin in a sexy way that made Tony lick his lips.
"Hey sleepyhead." Steve sang to him, smiling as he looked him up and down.
"Hey gorgeous." Tony responded, muffling his voice a little and making it sound full of sleep. He almost went a little crazy when Steve looked sheepish all of a sudden, his hand coming up to scratch at the back of his head and his cheeks pinking up a little.
"I hope I didn't wake you up before with the door. I still forget about this super strength every now and then."
"S'alright. Nothing a little morning sex can't cure." Tony told him, his eyes roaming up and down. He felt himself growing hard as he watched one of the water droplets race down Steve's neck, meander over his chest whilst dodging his nipple before racing some more down his belly and into the towel. Dear God he wanted to be that droplet.
"I was going to make breakfast first."
"Breakfast can wait. Get over here Cap'n." Tony growled. Steve smirked at him before walking over. Just before he reached the bed his hands came up and he loosened his towel, letting the material fall from his hips and smiling some more as Tony's eyes flew to the exposed skin. Steve climbed onto the bed and over him, straddling his lap and leaning down. His lips were claimed as the super soldiers tongue slipped easily past his own lips and into his mouth. His hand came up to fist in the still-wet hair, moaning as Steve's taste flooded his mouth.
Soon enough the sheets were kicked off the bed, their bodies coming together in a hot and passionate embrace that led to more. Tony let Steve take him, muffling his groans and cries by latching his mouth onto the other mans shoulder. Their bodies moved back and forth, a rhythm that was more instinct than anything else and all too soon they reached that high together, both tipped over the edge by the other. As it faded they lay there together, holding each other and loving one another as deeply as one human can love another human. Their kisses had become soft and sweet, tender and lazy. They lay in that way for some time, Steve resting on top of Tony and just listening to his heartbeat. Tony himself could feel Steve's and it was a powerful and strong pounding that represented the man he loved. The man he'd always love. The man he'd love forever and a day.
Steve, the man who drew Tony because he loved Tony back.