And the Lord said, "Nintendo and GameFreak shall own all of Pokemon and it's affiliations." And it was so.
-Sega Genesis 19:96
Featuring Izena the Beheeyem, Greg the Person, and You the Reader.
"You got them all?"
[Yeah, I think so.]
"Cool. Okay, so just toss down the basket and we'll get going.
[Okay.] Izena put the cloth over the berries in the basket and closed the latch over it.
Greg and Izena were out in the woods some distance from their house collecting berries. Local buyers paid a fortune for the "free range organic berries" that they were too lazy to search for and pick themselves.
Greg caught the basket from the tree and set them down. After a moment pause of not seeing Izena he looked up to check on her.
"Coming down?"
[No. I want you to catch me.]
"Catch you. Why? You can just teleport. Hell, you can fly. You don't need to jump."
[I want to know if I can trust you.]
"Of course you can trust me, I love you. Now come down, we don't have forever."
[Greg, I want you to catch me. I need you to do this for me.]
"You need me to catch you falling from a tree?"
[Yes. What if you miss, or what if you let me fall and hit the ground on purpose?]
"Why on earth would I do that? Besides, even if I did you could just read my mind."
[There! You thought of it! Just now!]
"Of course I thought of it you put the thought in my head. It's like when someone tells you 'Don't think of pink Donphans!' and that's the first thing you think off. Now come down this is getting ridiculous."
Greg turned around and picked up the basket by the handle when Izena called out to him.
[Greg! Please…for me.]
"Alright fine. But don't get upset if I drop you, that's a pretty high tree."
[Are you saying I'm fat?]
"I'm saying you're paranoid. Now just jump."
Greg set down the berries and held out his arms for a full minute.
"Alright. I'm waiting. With my arms out. For you."
[It's high.]
"Of course it is. Look, I'm going to countdown from thre-" Izena leapt down at him and nearly knocked the wind out of him. Thrown down by her weight Greg struggled to sit up. Izena just clung onto his neck in bliss and kissed him.
[I always trusted you.]
At the farmer's market a wide selection of natural herbs and status removing berries were available to the masses for purchase. Several people were still setting up and preparing for the 10 o'clock rush when Greg arrived via Izena's teleportation. The two of them looked for their regular buyer.
"I don't see her. She's usually right at the corner too. Wait, there she is."
The typical arrangement of the stands was a small circle inside of a large square. The lucky few who set up on the corner typically had the most customers but for some reason Monica's Fruits wasn't in it's usual corner. Greg found set up in the inner circle. Her produce included rare gold berries, a variety of Bitter, Burnt, and Ice berries were all placed in the same basket for sale at the same price. RageCandyBars were also available- mostly athletic runners bought those for training.
Monica herself wore a green bandanna around her curly brown hair and a pink apron around her body.
"Hey Monica. Fancy meeting you here, you usually set up in the corner."
"Yeah well I usually don't have an asshole come here hours before everyone to take my spot but what are going to do? Watcha got here anyway."
Greg handed over the basket for her to inspect. Izena occupied her time by teleporting to a building and kicked around a few stones found on the roof.
"Look like Izena found something to do." Monica held up a berry to examine. "Greg. These are amazing, they're at least the size of tangerines!"
"Yep. Back breaking work getting those I'll tell you."
"Oh. Wait. Hold on." Monica put back the berry and closed the basket. "I'm sorry, I can't make jam with these. There's only 19 berries in here. I need twenty for my 20 Berry Jam recipe."
"Are you serious? They look big enough to count for at least two regular berries."
"Well, I just can't use 19 in a recipe that counts for 20."
Izena teleported back to Greg's side and held up a discovery to him.
[Greg! Look, I found an Everstone!]
"Oh my. How…how useless." Greg held the thing and put it in his left pocket. He quickly thought a message to Izena in order to solve his dilemma.
{Izena. We're missing a berry and little miss OCD isn't buying any without it.}
[Oh yeah. It probably spilled out after you knocked over the basket when you caught me in a loving embrace.] Izena closed her eyes and hugged herself while Greg thought it over.
{I got it. Izena, here's the plan…}
"Monica. What's your favorite pokemon?"
"Um. A Celebi."
"Okay….what's your second favorite pokemon?"
"Oddish."
"Well aren't you in luck- there's one now!" Greg pointed to the direction of a group of bushes.
"Oh I see- wait. Hmmm."
While Monica was turned Greg put his hand on the basket and him and Izena teleported to the roof. He quickly undid the latch on the basket and took out a single berry before closing it. "Crazy bitch isn't making this easy."
They teleported back and placed the basket in position on Monica's side of the table.
"Huh. I must have just missed the little thing."
"Oh Monica. Hey. I just happened to find one of those missing berries. So what do you say? Ready to buy? Here, I'll even put it in the basket for you."
Greg stuck the berry in the basket and smiled.
"Well, I supposed I can pay you now. Now that's the standard fee of course let me just get that for you." Monica pulled a wad of cash and started counting off the sum for Greg. "So, you and Izena have any plans for tonight."
[SLUT.]
"Well I got tickets for a Meloetta show. Gonna go see that. Maybe stop by a restaurant afterwards."
"Nice. Well, here's your pay."
"Thanks. Izena, if you would be so kind. We got some time to kill."
The couple teleported away.
*Meanwhile on the roof of a skyscraper*
"Why are we on a skyscraper? I don't even know what roof this is. Why do you keep teleporting to roofs today?"
Izena floated to the edge of the roof.
[I like the vantage point. Nice open area. Drifloons floating just out of reach of us. Cool breeze.]
"I don't like it here so much any more. I've heard stories. About Drifloons." The floating Drifloons descended to Greg's level. The silent things hovered around him en masse.
[You know sometimes I'll just think about standing up here. Watching the sunset.]
"Izena you can do that whenever you want. And these Drifloon are getting a little too close."
[They say we come from space.] She sat on the ledge looking out at the city. [Like the Clefairy and Deoxys.]
"Izena they're grabbing me."
[You know I'm kind of excited about tonight. Never really been to a concert.]
"They'rrrrrrrre trying to pull me over the ledge now…"
[It's like, remember three years ago when we did it for the first time? I was like, 'I am so gonna fuck that.' And we did it. And there was music.]
"I'm getting pulled over to the side here…"
[Wait, no. The music was on the anniversary. I think I'm mixed up. I should have a diary.]
"I feel like before I die that I should say something but I don't know if you'll hear it or not." Greg was suspended over the edge of the skyscraper, held in mid-air by the Drifloon.
[What's that dear?] Izena turned to observe Greg.
"I said I'm FALLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING." The Drifloon released Greg.
[Oh SHIT.] Izena vanished from the ledge and appeared at Greg's falling body. She grabbed him and teleported to the ground where he landed in an awkward crumpled heap.
"You know…" Greg stood up dusting himself off and just trying to calm down. "For a moment I thought I was going to retain my momentum when you teleported me. Like if I was moving a hundred miles an hour and you teleported me in front of a wall then I would get squished."
[That's not likely to happen. I have to adjust for cosmic forces every time I teleport. ]
"What do you mean?"
[We're on an orbiting planet and all. It's just a matter of shifting energy in the transport. It's all done by instinct.]
"Well your instincts just saved my butt. The again you did ignore…nah I'll just let it slide. Where are we? Please don't tell me we're at Battle Tower."
[No it's a Silph Co building.]
"Silph Co?"
Greg looked around. He found himself on the sidewalk across the street from the building he just fell off. There was a pizzeria, a dry cleaners, and a pawn shop around. Not much else.
"We gotta be at least a hundred miles off course of our home town."
[No, it's just a subsidiary. They've got tons of places worldwide.]
"That makes sense." Greg walked towards the cleaners, noting the distant presence of the Drifloon high above him. "You know we gotta pick up some TMs for you. I never want to experience that ever again. But first we gotta go to the cleaners. I may need a change of clothes and once the shock leaves my body I'm pretty sure I won't feel comfortable in my pants. Since I can't feel anything right now. And stuff."
*Several hours and one new pair of pants later*
"I never realized how I hate walking. Where the hell is this concert hall? You'd think you could see an event this big." Greg, having no sense of direction in life or in the city, was lost. Try as he might he couldn't even say that he was walking in circles since nothing was familiar to him.
[You could just follow the line of people at the next street.]
"Oh, yeah- because that went so well last time when it turned out to be a thirty minute line for a hot dog."
[Those were good.]
Greg crossed the street, kicking litter of his shoes, and saw a great glowing theater covered in neon lights. "Well. I guess that's it. Huh."
Greg got in line behind the colorfully assorted people. Some were in black, some were in neon all over and some were in their mid-forties just looking to hang out. What stood out to Greg most of all though was the prevalence of electric type pokemon. Greg found himself behind an Electabuzz decked-out in metal piercings with his trainer in similar attire and in front of an Electrode and a man wrapped in a metal wire.
{Psst. Izena. I don't we're properly prepared today.} At a quick glance Greg found that Izena was nowhere to be found around him. While his back was turned, she teleported in front of him, giving him a shock when he turned back around.
[You rang?]
"Shit." He said through closed teeth. "You scared me. What the hell? Where were you?"
[I was on the roof!]
"Why am I not surprised."
[There's a ton of electric pokemon around. It's all Gen 1 up in this bitch.]
"What?"
[Inside there's a ton of Pikachu and Magnemites all setting up in stuff.]
"Hmm. Welp. Might as well ask around. Hello, excuse me sir but what's with the, uh, all the electric types." Greg tapped the man with the Electabuzz in front of him.
"Huh? What?" The man turned around. "You mean you don't know? Dude, the more electricity flowing through the audience the lower the music gets!"
"I hope it's metaphorical."
"Huh, oh you hook up some plugs to your pokemon." The pierced man squinted his eyes and looked over Greg's shoulder. "Is that guy wrapped in metal wire?"
After a few more moments of waiting in line and debating the point of wire based attire, it was their turn to enter.
"Tickets please." The bouncer said automatically. To his side was a Machoke, sure to keep any rambunctious electric types in line.
"Yes of course let me just…uhhh." Greg reached into his new pants and found them surprisingly empty and lint free. The soft interiors held no ticket related contents whatsoever. "Hmm. I don't suppose your favorite pokemon is Oddish."
The bouncer crossed his arms and bore the very striking resemblance to the Machoke next to him in doing so.
{Izena. I have an idea.}
Greg point to a general area of space behind them "Look! A perfect distraction!" The bouncer turned his attention, "A what?" When he looked back they were gone. "I can't believe I fell for that."
Inside the theater the party was nothing short of exploding. Center stage was the rare sight of a DJ Meloetta. Around the crowd Magnemites floated around carrying trays on top of their bodies- taking and delivering drinks to and from the peoples. At the edges of the crowds sparks and lighting showed that the electric pokemon were in full swing powering the stage. Overhead twelve Pikachu on either sides were working on powering the spinning and whirling lights. Amidst the noise and the sound and the rage of sound, he and Izena let go. The sound and fury, it was theirs.
Several hours of noise followed in which Greg and Izena both partied till their heart's content. After round after round of poor singing, dancing and confusing themselves with their neighbors it was high time to leave.
On the sidewalk a random hobo was nearly stricken with a heart attack at the appearance of two beings out of thin air. He scurried off in their opposite direction.
"Shit. It's so quiet. Where the hell are where."
[Oh fuck…aw shit…I think I just got a headache. Did you see that guy passing out beserk gene? That guy was fucked just before we left.]
"I think main street is this way. No. Wait. Okay. Let's take a shortcut through this dark alley."
[I'm pretty sure that's how Zubatman was born.]
"We'll be fine. Let's go." Their progress was slow and through the brick wall they could still hear the thump of the bass playing inside the theater still. Over halfway to the end of the alley Izena stopped in place.
[Greg. Wait. Stop.]
"Hmm?" Greg turned around and shuffled over to her.
[Greg, you gotta see this. There's a Meloetta fucking her manager in the back room. She's bent over the desk and just…taking a pounding. It looks like she's certainly enjoying herself.]
"You mean the DJ?"
[Sit down. We'll watch this together.] She patted the ground next to her. Greg placed his back to the wall and slid down.
"Yeah. Alright." She leaned on him and showed him the vision that her abilities had given her.
It was wrong. It was an odd number. It was a prime number. You can't make 19 into 20. It just doesn't work. Have to find him. Need to make the numbers go away. He's in the air. His smell. His friend is here too. No. Not the people. He's not in the noise. Left. He's in the left. In the hall with no roof. There he is. He should have it. He has to.
"GREG." Greg nearly jumped out straight up into a standing position, hearing his name shouted in such a manner. He stood up, tensing.
"What the fuck is this?" Greg looked to the end of the alley to see the figure.
{Dammit. And it was just getting started too.}
[Actually Greg.] Izena stood up and by his side. [We've been here about thirty minutes so far. There's a clock on the wall in that room.]
{Really? Damn.} Greg called out to the figure and the alley entrance. "Who are you?"
"I need a BERRY Greg. I ONLY have NINETEEN berries Greg. I need it Greg."
[Is that Monica?]
"She's insane, clearly. Follow me. We'll just take it nice and slow…Monica! Hey! How are you!"
"Greg. I'm so sorry. It's just that when you gave me your berries I was missing one and I need one to make it whole and I knew you would be here and all so I thought I'd just come here and get it."
"Monica," Greg exited the alley to confront her, speaking slowly and carefully "I know you want it but isn't it conceivable that you could have simply just taken the time it took to get here to retrieve a berry on your own?"
Monica stared at him as though he'd just spoken a foreign language.
"I don't understand."
"No I didn't think you would. Okay, you look like a smart girl." From the light of the street lamps the haggard look on Monica's face she was anything but a sane high intellect individual. "So how about this. You take ten berries. And you just use that."
"But the numbers!"
"And then you make three berry jams a total of three times over. Can you handle that?"
"I don't. Three?"
"Great! Izena. As averse to your teleporting as I have been today, I must insist that you use it immediately."
Back at the home Greg had showered. In a towel he made himself a glass of water in the kitchen.
"You know. I've been thinking about our source of income since it's clear that Monica isn't the best of mind anymore."
Walking to the living room with his glass, Greg found Izena asleep on the couch with the tv on to a random channel.
"Okay. Great. I'll just be here. All cold and drying off. Yeah." After a few minutes of sitting on the couch and watching the television he sighed and put his glass in the sink. He came back to shut off the tv and smiled.
"Good night Izena."