A/N: Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
Beater 2 - Wimbourne Wasps.
Prompt: Fluff including dementors. Additional Prompts: 4. (quote) "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles" ; 5. (word) difficult; 6. (quote) "You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love." ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Hermione Granger had always been a planner. She liked to know what she was doing, when and how she was going to organise it. Planning and organising her life (and everyone else's lives around her) gave her a sense of overwhelming purpose and comfort. At school she had planned her schedule as well as Ron and Harry's schedules, then after school she organised campaigns for her work on a regional and national scale, she managed a team of several other individuals. Then came the biggest planning session of her life – her wedding to Ron; perhaps it was the only wedding that had occurred within the Weasley household that hadn't driven Molly up the walls with lack of planning and so many things that had not been thought of by the couple getting married. And that was because Hermione had thought of everything, made an abundance of lists detailing absolutely everything that needed to be done or considered before the wedding could take place.
Hermione's plans extended all the way through her life in the future – what Ron and her were going to do, and what she wanted out of her life. Then something happened that put paid to all of those well intentioned plans – Hermione found out she was pregnant.
While this had always been in her plan – she always had wanted a family – she just hadn't wanted one yet…She still had several large acts that she wanted to get passed through the Wizenagamot before she had a family, because she had always imagined that when she did have a family she would stay at home with her child and home school them… And that meant making a considerable sacrifice in her career. She had already seen Ginny give up her career as a professional quidditch player so as to stay at home with James, and Hermione hadn't been quite sure that she was ready for that yet. She knew that Ron wanted a family – he really wanted a family, but Hermione had her plans, she had come to a point in her life that she understood that her plans were of such importance to her that she couldn't ignore them. "You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love." She had never wanted to hurt Ron, but she just hadn't been ready for what he wanted – she hadn't caught up to his plans yet. But plan or no plan, it was too late now, she was pregnant and Ron was incredibly excited about the whole thing. Seeing his best mate and sister with a son of their own had made him much more inclined to the starting of their own family. Maybe it hadn't been quite to her plan, but perhaps this new plan was better, unexpected but welcome. She had been six weeks pregnant when she found out, and she had sworn Ron to absolute secrecy; she knew it was difficult for Ron not to tell everyone and anyone that he came into contact with that they were going to have a baby – but she didn't want to risk it just yet… She wanted to wait until she was at least ten weeks before they announced it to the rest of their family, that way Ron and her would have a bit of time to get used to the idea before everyone else was fussing over them.
But even the plan to wait until she was at ten weeks wasn't going to go the way she wanted it to. With only a week to go before Hermione would allow Ron to announce to the rest of his family that they were expecting, the plan began to disintegrate. On Monday Hermione had woken up earlier than her alarm with her head spinning and her stomach churning, instantly worried she had gotten out of bed and caused Ron to wake up at the same time.
"What is it?" He mumbled sleepily.
"Nothing," She had replied, "Go back to sleep, it's early yet." She hadn't told Ron about the pounding headache or how she nearly threw up whilst watching him eat his breakfast. She ignored how she was feeling, went to work and hoped it would pass. Tuesday was worse, her whole body felt exhausted, she pretended that she was extra busy so that she didn't have to be in the same room as Ron as he ate his breakfast and made their lunches. But this time the feeling didn't go away when she was at work, she still felt awful at lunchtime – and couldn't face the thought of food. When she arrived home from work she lay down on the sofa in their living room and tried to sleep for a bit before Ron arrived home. She had been hoping that the feeling might pass, and that maybe it had just been a forty-eight hour bug that was making her feel a bit unsteady, she made an excuse to have an early night – but even then she didn't feel right. Hermione became aware of her own consciousness at about four in the morning, she awoke feeling incredibly hot with sweat pouring off of her and from the moment she opened her eyes in the dark everything seemed to be moving – she felt sick. Was this what morning sickness felt like? She clambered out of bed, almost instantly having to go onto her hands and knees, and with difficulty, crawled to the bathroom – she didn't know how long she had been sat on the bathroom floor with her eyes closed and her head leant against the wall, until she felt hands clasping around her shoulders.
"Hermione?" Ron's voice whispered, and she could feel the presence of his body sitting down next to her. "What's wrong?" He asked gently.
"I don't feel well…" She replied slowly.
"How long have you been feeling like this?" He questioned.
"A couple of days," She said honestly, at this moment she couldn't lie; she had to let Ron know how she was really feeling.
"Oh Hermione…" Her husband squeezed the hand that was still resting on her shoulder. "I wish you had told me…" Hermione didn't say anything to that. "Come on…" He helped his wife to her feet and led her back through to bed. In bed he wrapped his arms around Hermione, holding onto her tightly. Hermione couldn't explain just how protected she felt with Ron's arms around her, and instead of lying awake this time it seemed she drifted off to sleep in no time.
She woke with a start as the sun peaked through the gap in the curtains of her bedroom and fell across her face, she sat bolt upright, unaware of how long she had been asleep. When she caught sight of the clock and realised that it was twenty past eleven and she should have been at work at nine; she cursed and had just flung back the covers when Ron entered into the room.
"Oh you're awake!" He commented, smiling at her – he was carrying two cups of tea in her hands.
"Of course I'm awake!" She responded frantically, "I'm two hours late for work Ron! Why didn't you wake me up?"
"It's okay, you've got today off." Ron answered, putting the cup down on Hermione's bedside table. "It's caffeine free." He indicated at the cup.
"I've got…?" She began confused.
"I phoned them and said you were feeling a bit under the weather," Ron explained, sitting down next to her on the bed. "I promise I didn't say why!" He insisted, as Hermione had suddenly cast him a stern look. "I just said you need some rest, you've been working really hard lately… and I know you've not been sleeping much." He stretched his arm out and pulled her in closer towards him, "So I thought we could just have a relaxing day, watch a silly movie or something…" Hermione leant into her husband, there was a spot just in Ron's shoulder that her head seemed to fit perfectly into – like she just fit him. "Is that alright with you?" Hermione nodded.
"Yeah, I guess so…" She agreed, they sat in silence for a little while, and then a question that had been on Hermione's mind burst out. "Do you think we're ready to be parents?"
"Is that what you're worried about?" Ron asked, sounding rather relieved.
"Kind of."
"I think we're as ready as we can be…" Ron replied, "And if Ginny and Harry can do it, then we certainly can – and they're no where near as wonderful as you." He kissed the top of her head gently and Hermione felt a little glow of pride inside – no matter how old she was, every time Ron complimented her she felt like she was back at school and the first time they had kissed.
"I keep having this dream," Hermione said slowly, nestling into Ron even more. "That I'm not very good as a mother, and your mum and you have the baby and there's lots of dementors that have come to take me away to Azkaban." She told him slowly, knowing that this dream was a bit ridiculous, but it had still been bothering her all the same; Ron's instant snort was a great comfort to her.
"Don't be silly Hermione." He said, hugging her tightly. "You're going to be a great mum, it might be a little bit different at first – I know Harry said it was difficult to adjust to when James was first born, but they've gotten into the swing of it!"
"Hmmm…." Hermione didn't sound convinced.
"I promise you that you will be absolutely fantastic!" He repeated, then very gently he laid his hand onto Hermione's stomach. "And the little Weasley in here is going to love you no matter what, just like I do." That was what Hermione really loved about Ron, he was clumsy and a little bit insensitive most of the time, but when it really mattered, he seemed to know the right thing to say to ease her worries.
"With you by my side, I don't see how it could go wrong…" She muttered, being with Ron and talking to him was assuaging all her fears, and her anxiety about being pregnant. He made everything better. "Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" She asked, closing her eyes and breathing in Ron's musky scent.
"Mmm… Boy." Ron replied after a few seconds of deliberation.
"Really?" She questioned, and Ron was surprised by the abruptness of Hermione's response.
"Why? Do you not?" He asked.
"I've pretty much imagined that it's a girl from the moment I found out!" Hermione admitted, "After I got over the shock that is!" She let out a small nervous laugh, but Ron replied:
"I honestly don't mind whether it's a boy or girl… All that really matters is that they're ours, and that we'll always love them."
"But what if we're not good enough?" Hermione whispered, that small niggling doubt still present just in the back of her mind.
"What is that quote that you used to say to me? Something about inadequacy…?" He prompted.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Hermione recited rather sleepily as she nestled into him.
"Exactly!" He agreed, "This is our child – of course we're going to be good enough! And we will be able to use some of our power, definitely your knowledge and wisdom to help guide them in everything they do." He said calmly as he stroked her hair.
"Ron?" She mumbled, almost teetering upon the edge of falling asleep again.
"Yes?"
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too."
