Peace Arc
by
Weissangel24
12/25/04
Disclaimers: don't own them. Wish I did.
Warnings: Massive depression, shounen ai
Timeline: After endless Waltz
qtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtq
"Longing for Peace"
qtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtqtq
Honestly, the thought of being alone; completely alone, is a very dark and depressing thought.
And yet. . .
That is what I long for. The true peaceful silence that can only be found alone in a mobile suit drifting amongst the stars. . .
Deafening silence. . .
Total bliss.
To be alone with one's own thoughts and emotions, without the intrusive invasion of others.
To be me. . .
Trapped, as I am, on the colony; stuck in endless meetings with dishonest businessmen, lying lawyers and corrupt politions wares on a person. Especially when they spew untruths to my face while causing my heart to twist and ache at the evil intentions that surround thim like a dark aura. The sensation is so vivid that it leaves me with a sour aftertaste, often ruining my appetite.
Yes. . .
I want the peace that comes from being alone.
Completely alone.
One the rare (and I do mean rare) occasion that I actually escape the two-faced vultures and make it home before everyone goes to bed; the petty bickering, short tempered intolerances that form the atmosphere is suffocating. Between Duo and Wu Fei, it's an instant headache. Then add in Hiiro's incisive brooding over on mission or another and then Trowa's manic depression; and I've got a full blown migraine two seconds after walking through the door.
No peace.
None at all.
In the dark of the night,
in the calm just before dawn.
When all is still and the colony sleeps,
I stand by myself on the roof.
Closing my eyes, I can almost feel free.
Almost.
Even in the unconscious state of sleep, Emotions run rampant.
Desires, fears dreams, night-terrors.
It's non-stop, never ending.
I often feel as if I'm drowning.
Lost in a normal life.
Sometimes. . .
Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore.
I get so overwhelmed.
Is there any peace for me?