I will be working on my more serious fics again soon, but I really needed to get this one out of my head. I realize that fics like this are already a trend on this website, but it's just so fun to write! For similar fics, check out Sekhem's 'Supplemental Rules and Regulations,' gothfeary's 'Things Not To Do At The SGC,' and Cammy's 'The Atlantis Handbook,' all of which can be found in the 'Favorite Stories' section of my profile page. And yes, I did borrow some rules from those fics.
Sly Cooper is the property of Sanzaru Games; reader discretion advised.
Oh, and if you have any ideas for rules, review and put a request in!
These kinds of things always start with something simple. In this case, it started when Sly fiddled around with Bentley's slides and projector the night before a big heist as some kind of stupid joke.
Bentley, to put it mildly, was not amused.
Immediately afterwards, the irritated turtle wrote the first rule on a white index card and stuck it to the gang's homemade corkboard. He then declared that anything stuck to said corkboard was gang law and would be obeyed forever afterwards.
Little did he know that he'd started a chain reaction that would soon take on a life of its own…
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If you're not Bentley and you don't have his permission, don't touch Bentley's technology.
~ EVER.
After everyone saw what the turtle had done to Sly's tail after the projector incident, this one was unanimously agreed upon.
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For everyone's health and safety, do not insult Dimitri's fashion sense.
~ Even if it is questionable.
~ I don't care if Sly did and got away with it. Don't do it.
Sly may have gotten away with it, but his fur had bald spots for weeks afterwards and they stung like the dickens.
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If you are fairly certain that a female member is having her time of the month, don't piss her off.
~ Or hoard suger/chocolate.
"Penelope's that bad, Bentley?"
"Oh sweet mother of God."
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If you find your ancestor asleep at his post, leave him alone. Don't wake him up for anything short of the end of the world.
"Cute, Salim. You're still doing it."
/
Don't ask how everyone is able to understand everything the Guru and Bob Cooper say but half the time nobody can understand anything Dimitri says.
~ We're not entirely sure ourselves.
"What you cracker-box bros throwing down about Dimitri?"
Sly shook his head and muttered, "Case in point."
/
The phrase "Heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned" is not an exaggeration. For the safety of yourself and others, please bear that in mind when trying to make decisions about your romantic life.
~ You know who you are.
Carmelita was still pretty PO'd about the whole amnesia thing and she wasn't letting anyone forget it, least of all the party responsible.
/
Penelope's RC vehicles are not toys. Please refrain from using them as such.
Sly and Murray had thought it would be fun to race Penelope's RC cars. Unfortunately, Murray got a little reckless with his and crashed it into a wall, breaking various components.
The two of them had to go into hiding for a week after Penelope found out.
/
Mess with Murray's van at your own risk.
Apparently, a few members of a rival gang had decided to sabotage the gang's getaway vehicle and Murray caught them.
The doctor says they should make a full recovery in about three months.
/
Do not question Rioichi's love of anime.
~ Really, people, it's not that confusing. He is Japanese, after all.
~ Even if he is from the Feudal Era.
"I swear I feel a connection with Spike-san."
"Whatever you say, Rioichi."