What Should I Do?

by Gage39

Takes place during 'The Stuff Of Heroes' after Logan leaves them in the cave and before he shows up in the Juggernaut's cell. His thoughts and why he came back.

What Should I Do?

A/N: Takes place during 'Stuff of Heroes' after Logan walks out and before he shows up again in the Juggernaut's cell.

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I have been

Given a special

Gift as some

Call it

Most people

Think that eternal

Life is a blessing

To me it is nothing

But a curse

I cannot die from

Sickness or old age

A wound in battle

Might pain me

But it would not

Kill me no matter

How severe as

My body will heal

As rapidly as it

Was harmed

I have wandered

This planet

For many a year,

More than they

Can hope to count

I can remember

When people used

Chariots and served

The kings and queens

Of old

When hard times

Didn't mean going

Without your

Electronic toys

Where honor meant

Something and was

Not just a word

As it is now

I have watched

Many people that

I care about die

In front of my eyes

More than the number

Of stars in the night

Sky

After many years

Of this I discovered

A way not to get

Hurt; I would

Not let any of

Them near me

So I didn't and

For a long time

It worked

Then I meet

Charles Xavier

And his band

Of mutants

His cause was

Just and righteous

For a moment he

Reminded me

Of myself when

I was but a child

That thought was

Fleeting and but

For a moment

But it proved

To be my undoing

For that moment

Allowed them to

Approach my

Defenses

They weakened me;

Made me care

So I left, frightened

Of what would happen

To them should

They ever get to

Know the real me;

The monster that

Lurked behind

Carefully constructed

Walls that had been

A lifetime in building

But something called

Me and so I found

Myself returning

Again and again

What was it that

Drew me to this

Place? Was it the

Likeness that I saw

Between myself

And the Professor?

Was the affection

I had developed

For his X-Men?

I do not know but

Whatever it was

It hearkened to me

And I listened

Then I was forced

To watch the

Past repeat itself

I watched as Charles

Xavier was taken

From us and how

Scott quickly stepped

Up to the lead

I was angry when

He ordered me

How dare he?

I trained him

I taught him

Everything that

He knew and he

Acted like he had

The right to order

Me now simply

Because he

Developed

Leadership skills

All of a sudden

So I left; not wiling

To watch as the

Children that I had

Watched grow up

Die in front of my

Eyes

I could not bear

To think of their

Broken bodies

Lying in front of

Me, their lifeless

Eyes gazing at

Nothing

So I waited;

Waited for the

News of their deaths

To reach me

But to my surprise

It didn't

Instead I heard

A different tale;

One that said

They had discovered

Charles

I was glad but

Now I was faced

With a choice

What should I do?

My heart told me

To go to them;

To help them

Rebuild their broken

Lives but my brain

Said to leave them be

They would be dead

In a couple of years;

What was the point

Of helping them

If they were going

To die anyway?

That was when I

Realized something

They had not only

Approached my

Defenses but made

It all the way inside

Without my noticing

So what am I going to do?

Should I help them

Then watch helplessly

From the side as they

Leave this world,

Never to return?

Should I leave them

For good and wait

To hear the news of

Their demise?

What should I do?

A/N/N: I am going to be gone all weekend so nothing will get updated until Tuesday. I am terribly sorry for the wait but it is unavoidable.