What do you mean I'm obsessed with this AU? What are you on about? Am not! We were talking about it, and I had to write out V's death. That's it. This is probably the last Dilate-related thing I'll write for this AU. I swear.
Fun fact though! The things Monocathy says in this are quotes I directly pulled from a message she had sent to me.
It was Kaito's turn to be scared that night, even if he never explicitly stated he was scared, and it was a feeling Chris knew too well. Three people had been murdered, and countless had been executed. The group of them kept making mistakes, and they kept picking innocent people to be executed instead of the real culprits. This many mistakes were certain to bear a burden on a person's mind, especially when these mistakes cost the lives of innocent people.
Even so, Chris had something to do; there was no way he could have gone along with Kaito. But when he looked into Kaito's eyes and saw the twinkle of fear that his neutral expression could not hide, he knew what he had to do.
"Of course I'll spend the night with you."
He knew very well Monocathy would have taken this as a sign that Chris was giving up on the plan. He wasn't. He was going to go through with it, but he was just going to have to find a way to get out without Kaito noticing. It really was that simple. Well, it was to him, anyway.
He followed the other to his room. In his head, he formulated a plan; he would wait until Kaito was asleep (if he couldn't sleep, then his plan would be ruined, and he would simply go through with it the next morning if Monocathy allowed it), then leave the room (sadly, he would need to leave it unlocked, but the only people left were ones incapable of murder anyway), and then...
Kaito unlocked his room's door and let Chris in first. Once they were both in, Kaito quickly closed the door and locked it behind him, before putting the key on his desk. Good, his escape would be easy to find in the darkness, then. The thought that Kaito would kill him did cross his mind a couple of times, but he knew that it would not happen. He didn't know why he knew, but he did.
Whilst Chris hovered around awkwardly, unsure of where to sit, Kaito crawled into bed, not bothering to get undressed. Just like last time, it would have been awkward sleeping in the same room as someone when one of them was undressed. Well, it probably would have been pretty comfortable if they were both in their underwear, but Chris doubted the other would have agreed to it. ...not that he would have agreed to it, either, but that wasn't the point.
Kaito shuffled to the farthest end of the bed, before patting the empty space beside him. It took a minute for Chris to understand, but when he did, he hesitantly approached the bed. When he wasn't sent away, he figured he had correctly understood. He crawled into the bed and under the blankets, joining Kaito in the bed.
It was strange but, in that moment, it was like the other had realised they were alone, and that Chris would not judge and could keep a secret. It was then that Kaito had taken the opportunity to shuffle closer and to wrap his arms around him, pretty much burying his face in Chris' chest and taking in the all-too-familiar warmth and familiar scent. Even though Chris didn't know the other too well, he knew that this was strange behaviour for him. Then again, this was a strange situation.
Chris was quick to reciprocate the hug. He would be lying if he said he didn't need the comfort then. He knew this was just going to hurt Kaito later, but at least he could have spent some of his remaining time in this school with the only person in this school he truly cared about. His fingers lightly combed Kaito's hair, sighing. He lay awake for a while, waiting.
Kaito didn't seem to be able to sleep for a while. His breathing was still slightly panicked, and his grip on Chris was impossibly tight. To say that he didn't need this as much as Chris did would have been an obvious lie. Not a word was exchanged between them; Chris silently combed his fingers through the others' hair.
It felt like hours had passed before, finally, Kaito's breathing slowed down. His grip had loosened a little, but it was still surprisingly tight. "Kaito?" Chris asked in a whisper. There was no response. Finally, he was asleep.
But Chris couldn't bring himself to get up. Not yet. He stayed for a little while longer, watching Kaito carefully. He wanted to make sure that he would be okay, but there was no way to guarantee he won't die whilst Chris is gone. This was a risk he was willing to take, though. Kaito had someone who needed him waiting back at home. Chris, on the other hand, didn't have anyone depending on him.
Finally, he had decided it was time, before Monocathy had called off the agreement. Chris brushed the green bangs away from his forehead, before planting a soft kiss on it. "You love Kaito, don't you?" He could remember her voice, clearly speaking to him in his mind, the memory of their conversation not fading. "You and I both know you care about him more than you anticipated."
She was right, of course. Chris didn't want to get himself involved with any of these people. And yet, there was something about Kaito, something pleasant and familiar about him, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. That was why it was so hard for him to fight against Kaito's grip; it wasn't because he couldn't, it was because he didn't want to.
'This is for the best. You will be saving him,' he told himself. Somehow, that didn't make the will come to him. Almost like Kaito was sensing something was about to happen in his sleep, his grip around his friend tightened. Chris sighed again. This had gone on long enough.
He carefully grabbed Kaito's hands and made him let go. It took a little bit of struggling - physically and within his own mind - but he had managed. For a moment, he stayed, taking one good, final look at Kaito. God, he felt creepy, and he felt weird just watching him, but he knew this was his last chance. Quietly, he slipped out of the bed and grabbed the keys.
"Chris?" His heart stopped.
"You woke up," he said, unsure of what else to say.
"Yeah. Where are you going?"
"I'm..." he could feel his heart beat a thousand miles an hour. "I'm going to get a glass of water. I'll be back soon."
This seemed to satisfy the sleepy Kaito, who rolled over and seemed to try and go back to sleep. Chris left the room and left the door unlocked behind him. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, before making his way to the kitchen.
'If you kill yourself, I'll set Kaito free after the trial,' his mind reminded him, mimicking Monocathy's voice perfectly. He understood what he needed to do, but he had never thought it would have come to this. There were many ways to die, and the second most difficult part was picking a method.
There was quite the collection of knifes on display; all kinds and all sizes. He guessed this was probably more for the students who had a gift in culinary arts than anything, but that didn't matter much to him. Out of all of them, he picked the largest one available, as it would have a larger chance of killing him.
'So how about it?' Her voice never stopped in his head, though he wished it would. Chris gripped the knife tightly, placing the point at his chest. No, that wouldn't have done. He placed the blade on his throat, the cold, sharp edge sending shivers down his spine. His breathing became shallow and he screwed his eyes shut.
He was a coward, through and through.
His grip loosened and he dropped the knife. He couldn't do it. But really, compared to Kaito, he didn't have much to live for. Of course, he had his brothers, but they were old enough to not depend on him, weren't they? Haruto, on the other hand, was sick, and he needed Kaito. Kaito needed to get out of here, but Chris didn't.
He grabbed a glass and quickly filled it with water, gulping half of it. Even after thinking about it, he couldn't do it. Suicide was cowardly. The cause was noble and Chris would have been a hero for saving Kaito, providing he wasn't killed before the trial could be finished. It was the thought that it would all be over with one cut, with one stab, and then he would be no more.
Not going through with it made him feel more cowardly, though. After all, he had the chance to save and protect someone. Why wasn't he going to take it? Because he valued his life. But his life wasn't as important as Kaito's.
He bent down and picked up the knife again. 'Will you trade your life for Kaito's?' her voice, so prominent in his memory, asked. The point was pressed against his chest again, and he softly closed his eyes. He took a deep breath.
"Yes, I will," he said. Though he was only repeating what he had told her, and he was speaking to his memories, he still felt like he needed to say something.
He forced the knife into his chest, between his ribs and straight into his heart. He must not scream, he must not make a sound. Chris knew the walls of the bedrooms were soundproof, but he didn't want to give Monocathy the satisfaction of knowing just how painful this was.
His knees gave way as he pulled the knife out, clutching his chest. The amount of blood on his hands and his clothes and the knife was dizzying. The pace of his breathing quickened, trying frantically to stay alive, even though that wasn't what he wanted at all; it was what his body wanted.
The world around him was disappearing in a white blur. He barely registered the fact that he flumped against the floor on his side, his eyes half-lidded. In his last few moments, his memories betrayed him. They showed him a teenagehood that couldn't have been his, one where he was with Kaito, and some of the others to a much smaller extent. But it felt so familiar, and so real. His brothers were among the memories. Though they weren't all good memories, he was still happy when he thought of the worse ones. In his last few seconds, he didn't know what exactly it was Chris thought of, but he knew that it was thoughts of two children, two boys he had seen as his own brothers.
When his final breath had been taken, it was over. Chris was gone. Kaito was guaranteed safety.