Disclaimer: the world and most characters belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
Trigger Warning: Rape and abuse. Beware.
Hermione had been in the past for eighty and one days, twenty hours and thirty and three minutes now. She knew it because she had been counting her time there as religiously as she would have when she had tests and wasn't sure whereas she would be able to study everything or not.
She had met many people, and some of them for the second time in her life - Ollivanders, Dumbledore, Minerva... And, of course, Voldemort.
In fact, the last was the current subject of a heated conversation in the seventh year's dorm where Hermione slept.
Elysa, her new best friend, was chatting happily about how handsome Tom Riddle was. Paula agreed and added that he was also very charming. Anna, the calmest one, squeaked and said he was everything a man should be.
Hermione felt her stomach twist and the bile rise in her throat. All the girls were looking at her now, waiting expectantly for her to jump in and say something nice about Riddle as well.
She felt like dying.
"He is very... Mysterious." Hermione said eventually, her voice sounding as usual - something for which she was glad.
This seemed enough for her friends and arouse a new topic of discussion.
"Do you think he is still a virgin?" Elysa asked, giggling shamelessly.
"I don't think so. I mean, he is so handsome and proud and..." Paula didn't end, instead sighed heavily, her eyes lost somewhere above their heads.
"He has pretty hands, don't you think?" Anna asked Hermione, smiling shyly. "I'd like to feel his hands on me..." She completed, blushing fiercely.
"Be quiet." He said, one hand firmly against her mouth, stopping her from both screaming and breathing. He pulled her somewhere - a door in their backs - and closed it with his free hand. It was dark and cold inside. She could see nothing, feel nothing but Riddle's body against her. If he hadn't been holding her so strongly, she would have fallen on the ground. "So, you like to spy on me?" He inquired, his mouth right next to her ear, causing a shiver to pass down her spine. She tried to shake her head, but his grip tightened as she felt him smile against her hair.
She was positively trembling now, her eyes full of unshed tears.
Hermione had always been a courageous girl. But even she had her fears.
And he was one of them.
"Yes! I realized it as well!" Elysa jumped in the conversation, saving Hermione from answering. "His fingers are very elegant... The way he holds his wand is just so..." Elysa trailed off, unable to put her feelings into words.
"Exciting." Anna completed, smiling at her friend. "Remember in the last Charms' class, when he simply enchanted that chair like it was not one of the most complicated spells Professor Alin taught us so far?"
"I've managed to cast such spell quite effortlessly, actually, Anna. Thank you for remembering me!" Hermione said, happy for an opportunity to change the subject. She'd much rather discuss her know-it-all attitude. She'd much rather discuss any other topic.
She was starting to feel sick.
"Oh, don't be like this!" Paula replied, coming closer to her friend and bumping their shoulders. "We know you're quite brilliant as well. Only Riddle has something quite unique that make me fall for him."
"I think it's his voice!" Elysa said, suddenly on her feet, walking around the room aimlessly. Hermione almost moaned in discontent. "It's so grave and serious. When he talks, you just have to listen to him."
Her eyes got used to the darkness, and she could now see they were in a classroom - probably a Potion's one, if the forms she saw were, in fact, cauldrons as they looked like. Still, she could not see Riddle, for he was firmly pressed against her back. His hand had loosened now, and she was finally able to breath, something she did with great effort, her chest rising and falling heavily with every gulp of air.
"Do you know, Miss Granger, what I do to those who spy on me?" Riddle's voice was serious, although she could hear a smile on it. He was happy.
She was afraid.
"Please, please-" She tried to say, but he cut her short by again placing a hand firmly against her mouth.
"I don't like to be interrupted, my dear," He continued, chuckling to himself, his voice echoing in the empty classroom as if it was a ghost. "As I was saying, normally I torture those who do as you did. But for you," Riddle put his mouth against Hermione's neck, and she could feel it moving as he said the words. "I have different plans."
The tears she had been fighting all along finally fell from her eyes.
"I don't think it's only his voice, thought," Elysa continued, still passing impatiently. "There's something else. Maybe it's his intelligence. When he talks you know you have to listen because he will say something important."
"For instance, this morning when he said he enjoyed cake. Very important." Hermione talked for the first time in a while, her voice shaking only in the end - but no one seemed to realize that but herself.
"No, you silly girl." Anna said, throwing her head back as she laughed.
"You are all talking about his intelligence and hands and voice, but we are forgetting the most important: his body!" Paula giggled, covering her face with her hands.
"Yes! To someone who doesn't play Quidditch, he's awfully fit!" Elysa commented, biting her lips as she fell in the bed once again, next to Hermione.
"I think he exercises." Anna opined, looking up.
Hermione was shaking badly, and she knew Riddle could feel it thanks to their proximity. The girl was able to feel his breath, which was strangely as heavy as her.
His cold fingers travelled from her back to the front of her chest, and he slowly started opening her shirt. Hermione tried to fight, tried to shake him off, but with a swift movement he threw her against the wall, changing positions. Now, he was pressing against her front. She could see the smile on his face, and he could see the tears on hers.
"There's no need to cry, Miss Granger. I promise I will be gentle, and you will enjoy this as much as I will." His voice was calm despise her own misery.
Riddle used one hand to pin her own over her head, and with the other the boy grabbed her throath, keeping her in place.
"I won't do it again! Let me go, please, I swear-"
"And the bargain phase begins," Riddle interrupted her, kissing her mouth and chin. "It took you long enough."
She tried to fight again, but for no use. He was too strong. She was not.
"Hermione, are you all right? You're shaking!" Anna murmured, placing one hand over her friend's front. Hermione smiled weakly.
"It's alright. I think I have a cold. Can you please pass me that blanket? Yes, thank you, Anna."
"He is actually very strong. I know because once I tripped in the stairs and he got ahold of me, stopped me from falling to certain death!" Elysa continued, unaware of Hermione's discomfort.
"He definetly exercises." Paula agreed, shaking her head.
"All in all, he's the perfect man!" Anna said, clapping her hands happilly.
"Oh, definitely! Strong, intelligent, polite..."
"Polite?" Hermione was unable to stop herself, her voice sounding a tone too high. Her friends stared at her wide eyed. She checked herself, breathing slowly. "How do you know he's polite? I mean, the way he treats the professors doesn't count!" She completed, laughing meekly.
"Well, he always holds the door open for me!" Paula was the first to say, pushing her blonde hair out of her face.
"He also says good morning and good day and thank you. Which is more than we can grante to most boys..." Elysa agreed, shooting a glance to the door, probably thinking about Hulisses, one of their housemates in whom she had a crush.
"And he saved Elysa from certain death," Anna completed, smiling at her friend. "That is a nice thing to do, all things considerated."
"Yes," Hermione murmured, tightening her grip on the blanket. "Yes, a nice thing."
"If you don't let me go, I'm going to scream. I'm going to tell everyone what you-" Hermione's voice died when he bite her on the shoulder, causing a frightened scream to escape her lips.
"You can yell, my dear. No one can hear you. You can also tell people I abused you, but who's going to believe in it?" Riddle looked at her, tilting his head. "All I have to say is that we were engaged and then we were not - and you, heartbroken, decided to try and destroy my life with your lies. I had your consent, you see, but after we broke up you wanted revenge." With this, he gripped her wrist tighter, and she inhaled sharply.
His mouth traveled down her neck until her exposed breasts. He licked her nipples, and she couldn't help but moan. Riddle's eye shot up as he smiled at her.
"I told you, you're going to enjoy this as much as I am."
He turned his attention to her breasts again.
She started crying harder, a knot forming in her throat.
"I think that if we created a list of Most Perfect Boys In Hogwarts, Riddle would definitely be the number one." Paula mused, curling one strip of hair around her finger.
"Surely! In fact, I think he'd be the only one in the list. Honestly, Hogwarts is in short supply of nice, good boys." Elysa replied, laying in Hermione's bed.
"Oh, there are other nice boys here! But I must agree, Riddle is my favorite one," Anna said and looked at Hermione, furrowing her eyebrows. "What about you, love? You think Riddle would be number one? I mean, I know you're not his greatest fan, but you must agree-"
"He'd be the number one, definetly." Hermione interrupted, looking at no one in special, a sly smile on her face.
"Oh, I knew we would turn you to his holy cause." Paula said, jumping up and down on her bed, throwing her hands up.
"Yes, you did." Hermione agreed.
She was naked, and so was he. They were both entangled in a sweaty mess on the ground. There were bruises all over her pale skin, which he kissed gently.
"It's alright, everything will be allright," Riddle kept saying, ignoring the tears that stream down her face. "You liked it, you cannot lie to me, not after all this." He completed, making a gesture to her body.
The girl tried to cover herself, her hands searching blindly for her clothes, but Riddle took them into his, holding them tight.
"Shh, no need to desperation. I am here. I will look out for you." He said, kissing her cold fingers.
She trembled harder.
Eventually he stood up, dressed himself, and advised her to wait a moment to get out of the classroom herself. He murmured sweet things. And then was gone.
Hermione was glad, for she now could do what she had been wanting.
She threw up.
The girl looked for her clothes, the task made harder for her head would not stop spinning. She fell a couple of times. Cried a lot. If she had eaten more, she would have thrown up again.
Even thought she knew it was crazy, the girl could swear she was able to smell Riddle on her skin; on her hair; all over herself.
She had never felt more dirty in her entire life. Hermione knew she'd have to shower for hours to feel clean ever again. She hoped she would feel clean ever again.
She gathered her clothes and dressed herself in a hurry. She needed to get out of there as soon as she could. She needed to forget.
She needed to forgive herself.
Because it was not Tom's fault, she realized, so she could not really blame him. It was all on her. She had been the one spying. She didn't fight with strength enough. She was no Gryffindor.
And even worse, worse than anything, was that she had enjoyed it to some extended. She had moaned, and had came for him.
When she thought about it, the girl felt sick again.
The monster who killed Harry's parents. Who killed Myrtle. Killed millions others. The monster who had held her against a wall and raped her.
It wasn't his fault.
She was also a monster.
"So you like him?" Elysa said, expectantly.
"Of course, I like him." Hermione replied, smiling.