Welcome to my first Inside Out story! For those of you who have been anticipating this story, it was originally called "Long Distance Goodbye" now it's "A Tad Blue".
In all honesty, I'm a bit nervous. Portraying emotions themselves seems to be rather hard, so I hope that I do a good job. However, I'm planning on practicing a bit so I can write more one-shots, and someday, maybe even an Inside Out multi-chap fic! Also, I apologize if this story isn't as long as some of my others. I always try to hit the 2,000 word mark.
REMEMBER: If you favorite this story, or read it all the way through, please give me a review. I would like to know how I did with this piece!
Sadness, Joy, and any other characters mentioned does not belong to me. The belong to Disney, Pixar, and their creators!
Even after finding a purpose in headquarters, Sadness was still, well, Sadness. Even though the other emotions now treated her with more respect, Sadness was still a bit blue. After all, that was her job. Riley needed her just as much as she needed the others. If Sadness was happy all the time, she wouldn't be herself, but Joy. They already had a Joy. They already had a Disgust, a Fear, and an Anger. None of them could do her job, and she couldn't do any of theirs.
Each emotion, each mind worker, every single memory, was a puzzle piece. When they all did their respective jobs and came together, they made Riley. Without them, their girl wouldn't be their girl. If Sadness knew this, why did she still feel as if something was missing? She had never had the best memory of her own, they were all too focused on Riley's, but the bluer emotion still couldn't shake the fact that something just seemed wrong.
Something was missing. Riley wasn't complete. Through finding herself, she had lost herself, and then come full circle.
In attentive fits of exploration where Sadness tried to think of what could possibly be lost, she often found herself walking to the far end of headquarters, and sitting in a beanbag chair that overlooked Long Term Memory, and the gaping pit that separated her from it. This continued until one of the other emotions realized she'd slipped away from the console and harped on and on until her slow return. Even so she was always reluctant to leave her little thinking place, duty called, and Sadness's number one priority had to be Riley.
Things stayed that way for a long while. Sadness counted the days. These days then turned to weeks, and then months, but never a year.
One day, early in the morning before Riley went to school, Sadness realized what the matter was when sitting along on her beanbag. She hadn't been needed by the console at the time, so it had been easy to slip away. Disgust had stated she would handle breakfast, since it apparently looked disgusting. In a sudden craze of realization, Sadness had grabbed Joy by the arm and yanked her away from her post. The happier emotion simply told the remaining three to handle breakfast and the walk to school until she got back. Joy greatly disliked leaving the console nowadays, and intended to make this chat with Sadness rather short.
"Sadness!" She began. "We're supposed to be at the console! What's the matter? You're alright, right? Is something wrong?"
Catching her breath, Sadness had yet to release her grip on Joy's arm. "I'm fine, I'm fine."
"That's wonderful! Let's get back to Riley!" The second girl announced quickly as she turned on her heel.
"No!" Sadness protested, yanking her back. "I...I have a question for you, Joy."
"A question? Alright! Let's hear it!" The taller emotion then proceeded to sit cross-legged on the floor, eyes wide. This allowed Sadness to take a much needed rest in her beanbag before beginning.
"Um...do you remember when you found me in Long Term Memory?"
Joy tapped her chin, making a few high pitched "hmm" noises as she went. "You mean after I escaped from..." She looked out at the black gorge. "...there?"
Sadness gave a small nod, rubbing her hands together. She tried her hardest not to make eye contact with her fellow emotion. This was rather tough considering Joy's eyes were particularly large at the moment.
"Well, yeah! Of course I do!" Joy nodded enthusiastically. On the inside, she didn't like where this conversation was going. Her Joker grin dialed down a bit, and she hunched over a bit to reach Sadness' level. "Sadness, what is this about?"
"When you found me...you were alone."
A pause. Joy looked on at her companion, mouth open slightly in discomfort and confusion. She was rather unclear of what Sadness was talking about, since the subject itself was rather vague.
"Joy, when you fell...you were with Bing Bong." Sadness took a deep breath. "He wasn't with you when you found me."
Since the incident, Sadness had really been testing Joy's own emotions. She had been afraid of Jangles, cried profusely when revising old memories after falling, and was even a bit mad when she realized that she'd be finding Sadness alone. They were so caught up in their own victory upon reaching headquarters, that they had actually forgotten about Bing Bong. Just like Riley had.
"Sadness...I...I never told you?" Joy looked up, staring straight into her fellow emotion's eyes. Both were a reflecting shade of blue.
The smaller emotion slowly shook her head, an all too familiar lump forming in her throat. "I couldn't remember for awhile...but today I did." Her lips quivered. "Where'd he go, Joy? What happened to him?"
"He didn't make it." Joy, now unusually solemn, whispered. "He jumped so I could. No matter how hard we tried, he wouldn't have been able to come back. Even though I promised him that he could." The taller emotion was now on her knees. Her shoulders quivered from their slouching position, and her hands began to grip at the floor, searching it for something, for anything. An excuse, an explanation, an alternate universe. She couldn't believe herself. She had never told Sadness the truth.
"Did you ever tell the others about him?" Sadness asked, a single tear running down her deep blue face.
Masking the contorting distress that wrecked her usual smile, Joy could no longer bare to look at her friend. "I told them about him, but I said that he went back to Imagination Land. It was just the easiest thing to do at the time. You know I hate lying, Sadness."
"I know." The first emotion murmured. "But it still hurts."
Joy stood, wrapping her arms around Sadness. "Oh, Sadness, I know. I miss him too."
The shorter emotion didn't respond. Instead, she tried her best to hug Joy back, standing on the tips of her feet and letting her tears fall free. Soon enough, when it became too much, Joy did the same. For Sadness herself, she had been through the tears and the turmoil a million times, but this was different. Bing Bong had been different. If there was one thing she'd never forget, it was the conversation she had with him. Joy, on the other hand, needed someone with her when she cried. Bing Bong had been there before, but now, her guilt was free to catch up with her.
Both sat in the beanbag chair, sobbing quietly. It was somewhat therapeutic for the both of them, and when discovered by the other three, they were relinquished from their duties for a day. Not much could go wrong with Disgust, Anger, and Fear at the wheel. They'd definitely proved that.
===X===
She couldn't sleep that night. Unlike Joy, that was something she'd be comfortable admitting.
Without making a sound, Sadness slipped out of bed, careful not to wake the others in their small sleeping space. She'd never really be comfortable there, anyway. Her beanbag in the headquarters common area was always more serene. Back before the incident, the blue emotion used to step out and read mind manuals while watching the glittering orbs in Long Term Memory. With Dream Duty, this was easy to accomplish. Now, she only watched the lights.
Tonight, however, Sadness was more interested in the gorge below. According to Joy, that's where Bing Bong fell, and he never came back. It amazed her how they could just sit in a tower so far up above it, most of them with little to no worries of falling. Except for her and Fear, of course.
Despite this irrational worry, Sadness pressed her palms up against the glass and looked past the multicolored backdrop, down to the darkness below. She gave a small sigh before speaking. Not to herself, but a lost imaginary friend.
"I know you're probably not down there anymore." Her voice was small. "And you can't hear me, and I can't see you, but I'm gonna talk anyway. I won't make this long, I don't like long conversations, but there are some things I have to say."
A beat. The memories from long term reflecting in her wide rimmed glasses, dancing around in the glass. Blues and purples and greens alike, all combining in her eyes.
"Thank you. Thank you for listening."
So absorbed in her own declarations, Sadness didn't hear the fragile footsteps behind her. They belonged to a certain barefoot female emotion, who's blue eyes and hair paralleled Sadness's own. Joy had noticed her friend's empty bed, and decided to investigate. What she saw after a few moments of investigation broke her heart. Little blue Sadness, sitting all alone, talking to the mist and the haze.
"Who're you talking to, hon?" Her voice was light, flighty, unassuming.
Sadness gasped, giving a small jump ad turning to the stairs where Joy stood. "N-No one!"
"Whoah, whoah, it's okay! I'm not here to yell or anything!" The taller emotion jogged over to her companion, who had tried to run away.
"I'm sorry, I'll go back to sleep!"
Joy jumped in front of the other girl, blocking her from the stairs. "No, Sadness, you're fine! Perfectly fine!"
The smaller one sighed, turning away, not wanting to look at her coworker with such embarrassment so evident on her face.
"You want to talk about it?" Joy bent down, a goofy look on her face. "I'm always here to listen!"
Instead of opening her mouth, Sadness continued to walk away from Joy, approaching the window. If she tried hard enough she hoped that Joy would be convinced that she was simply looking out at the night. In reality, she was mourning one of the only friends she'd ever had. Unfortunately for her, Joy could be rather perceptive.
"He's always here with us."
Sadness looked beside her to see the other emotion looking out at Riley's vast dreamland. There was a peaceful look to her, and it subdued a bit of the shorter emotion's pain. With the silent tranquility they were immersed in, neither could hear the show Dream Productions had put on near the console. In that moment, it was just the two of them, and the imaginary ghost that held their hands.
Sadness closed her eyes, his voice echoing in her mind. She had to admit that she'd doubted him at first, but now, she'd do anything to talk one more time.
"We were gonna go to the moon..." She could see the spectacle of horror on his face as they pushed his rocket over the edge.
And then she was there, sitting beside him, Talking to him as if they were the only ones in that entire world. For once, she was appreciated, safe and secure. She'd never known this feeling, and it was something inexpiable. So different that there are no words that could describe what his tender, fluffy hug really felt like. And just like that, he had gone, like any of them would have, to save Riley.
"Yeah, I can sense him." Joy continued, watching what appeared to be an old memory tumble off towards the pit. "And as long as we have Riley, we have Bing Bong."
"Bing Bong..." Sadness repeated after a moment, staring out the window. She wasn't talking to Joy, but the imaginary friend himself. "Without you, things here got a bit...blue."
So it may not be my best work, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's pretty sad. My favorite part is Sadness's little flashback to when she had her heart-to-heart with Bing Bong, which is written in italics!
I want to thank you all for reading, and as I always say, PLEASE REVEIW! -Kitty