Apparently childhood is the best days of your life, and why not? It's a swirling mixture of ice cream, slimy things and loving parents. Swinging on a tire is a thrill like no other and every child treasures a nighttime story, or so you thought. But what if there was no ice cream, no loving parents and the nighttime stories consisted of warning of beatings and starvation, resulting in nightmares? It happens to some kids, and more often that not, those kids don't enjoy their childhood. Home is a prison and school is freedom. For an abused child, it's a place where family members can't get you, where you can get food and where people treat you like you're a human being. Not a nobody. Not an it.
"Murdoc
Niccals, you wipe your shoes outside this instant!"
It put a
smile on the 10 year old's mouth to be called by his name, unlike
at home. At home he was Boy, or The Boy. He sheepishly looked up at
Miss Matthews and she rolled her eyes at him, a smile creeping on her
own pink lips. She was beautiful, was Miss Matthews. Her golden hair
flopped about in tight curls and she wore different pretty earrings
everyday. Murdoc enjoyed guessing what colour they would be, or
whether they would be made of metal or beads.
"Its
raining outside, Miss, the ground is muddy."
"I
know dear, but we don't want a muddy classroom, do we? Everyone
would be sliding about!"
Murdoc chortled and
wiped his trainers on the ground. They were old and had a few holes
in the sole. Murdoc often felt like he had holes in his soul.
"Are you coming in, Murdoc?" asked Miss Matthews,
peering at him kindly.
He nodded, quickly brushed
long black hair out of his eyes and rushed to his seat.
Grace
Matthews was a caring woman. She was unable to have children herself
and so teaching seemed the next best thing. Children surprised her
everyday with their intelligence, they made her laugh, made her days
happy, but one child made her upset, but it was not his fault. Murdoc
was 7 when Grace started working at the small primary school in
Stoke-On-Trent and apparently no other teachers had noticed that this
small scrawny boy often limped or had a black eye. When asked about
it she was always given the same replies "I slipped and fell
because I'm clumsy" or the more popular "I'm a bad boy and I
get what I deserve."
He said it like he was reading
it off a piece of paper, his tanned face blank and his dark eyes
unblinking.
"Murdoc? Its time for you to go home
now."
Murdoc's gaze snapped up from his book to
Miss Matthew's pretty face.
"Oh…ok." He
grimaced and put his bag on his back.
"How do you
get home?"
"I run, Miss Matthews. Keeps me
fit."
"But don't you live a mile
away?"
"Nearly two, Miss."
"Let
me give you a lift, I live not too far from you."
Murdoc
glanced at the classroom door and then back to his teacher's
beaming face. "Ok then."
Miss Mathew's car was
very small, but it smelled nice inside. Like butterscotch. Murdoc
loved butterscotch. He told Miss Matthews this and she laughed. He
liked her laugh. It sounded like tinkling bells.
"Miss
Matthews, could you drop me off here?" he asked her.
"But
your house is the next street!"
"I know, I want to
walk to it. I don't think my dad would be very happy if he knew I
took a lift from you."
"Why ever not?" asked his
teacher, pulling over.
"I….um…I'm supposed to
run. Thank you for the lift, Miss Matthews."
Without
another word, Murdoc clambered out of the car and began running at
top speed towards his street. The Niccals residence was house number
6, but someone had painted an extra two 6's next to the metal one.
Murdoc didn't understand this, but his father told him it was
because Murdoc was a horrible child who was to be taken by Satan.
He entered his house, tiptoeing across the bare floor
towards the staircase. His small fists were clenched as he made his
way up the steps. The third and fourth step creak, he reminded
himself. He looked up and to his horror, saw his brother at the top
step. Murdoc's eyes became wide and fearful and he mouthed "no"
to his older brother. Hannibal smirked and opened his
mouth.
"DAAAAAD! THE BOY'S HOME!"
The
effect was catastrophic. The man that occupied the couch almost 24/7
leaped up and ran to the stairs. Murdoc froze, his fists clenched so
tight that the object he held in the right one was hurting his palms.
"You tryin' ta get away from me, boy?" The
voice was deep and growling, slightly slurred.
Murdoc
knew what to do. He turned around and came back down the stairs. He
had made it to the fifth step this time, a new record. He looked up
at his father. Jacob was a tall man, like Murdoc he had long black
hair that hung straight and shiny from grease. He had a long nose and
large bags under his eyes and he could scare anyone by just looking
at them. Murdoc's legs were shaking, because he knew what was going
to happen next.
"What's that in yer 'and? You
got food? You 'oldin' out on us, boy?"
Murdoc
shook his head and put his hand behind his back.
"Its
nuttin', I swear."
Hannibal was at his hand before
he could move. "E's got summin' pretty, dad!"
"NO!
ITS MINE!" screeched Murdoc, but his brother held fast to his hand
behind his back and pulled the item out of his grip.
"Dad,
look dad, it's an earring, a lady's earring!"
Jacob
Niccals snatched it away from Hannibal and peered at it. "You been
stealing, boy?"
"I found it! Its mine!" shouted
Murdoc, making to grab the earring. It was bad enough that he had
stolen from Miss Matthews, but to have that precious item taken away
from him? He couldn't let it happen.
"You
disgustin' little child! Where did you get this from?" yelled his
father, rattling the dangling earring.
"I found it –
I found it in the playground!"
"You stole it! You
stole it from some poor lady! She'll be crying now, you stupid
selfish boy!"
"NO! I-I found it!" Murdoc sniffed
back tears, he never cried. He lunged himself at his father's fists
angrily, only to be hit back against the stairs. "ITS
MINE!"
Jacob's mouth twitched and he tossed the
earrings to his eldest son. "Here Hannibal, give it to yer
mother."
Hannibal grinned and ran back upstairs as
fast as he could so he could come back and watch the beating. But he
was to be disappointed. This time, Jacob dragged Murdoc into the
upstairs bathroom. Murdoc choked back tears and sat on the toilet,
bracing himself.
"You done summin' very bad today,
boy. Stealin' is in the ten commandments, you know that? Satan's
gonna come get ya."
From the room next to them he
could hear his mother dote over his brother for giving her an
earring. Murdoc's earring.
His focus turned back to
his father, who had a large container in his right hand and a bucket
in the other.
"You need to be punished for breaking
a commandment, boy. God's angry with you, you know that?"
Murdoc
nodded. He made God angry a lot.
"You know you
gotta be punished?"
Murdoc nodded.
"What's
that, boy?"
"Yes, I do."
"You
been a conniving little boy."
"I have."
"And
you have to be punished."
"I do."
With
a grave face, Jacob filled the bucket full with the light yellow
liquid. The smell reminded Murdoc of swimming pools. Jacob set the
bucket in the bath.
"Get in the bath, boy."
Murdoc
couldn't remember the last time he had had a bath. Maybe this stuff
was soap? Jacob retrieved a small container from high up in the
cabinet and turned to Murdoc, a faint smile on his lips now.
"You
upset your mother with your badness. What do you think of
that?"
Murdoc didn't reply. He barely saw his mum.
She watched TV in her bedroom and called Hannibal in a lot for a
cuddle.
"Hey? What do you think of that?"
"I-I'm
a bad boy?" suggested Murdoc, though he knew the answer.
"Yes
you are. And because you hurt people by being horrible and stealing,
you have to be punished."
Jacob held the container
at arms length and then poured a colourless liquid into the bucket.
"Chlorine and ammonia boy, is the Devil's drink. You can have a
taste since you'll be joining him soon. You stay in the bath until
I get you, got that?"
Murdoc nodded, slightly
puzzled. His father left and he sat in the bath, perplexed. It wasn't
until he took in a deep breath did he notice something wrong with the
air. It smelt horrible. It made his eyes water and his throat hurt.
He started gasping. What was wrong with the air? He stood up to open
the window but remembered what his father had said. Stay in the
bath. He would be hurt badly if he got out.
But
his throat hurt so badly, and his eyes were watering. But he was not
crying, oh no, Murdoc Niccals had not cried since he was 6. So he lay
down in the bathtub, as far from the steaming bucket as he could and
closed his watering eyes.
He didn't know how many
minutes or hours went by, but he must have slept. He woke up and
cried out in pain. His vision was blurry and he felt dizzy and faint.
He started coughing and eventually it turned into a violent hacking
cough that made him go on all fours. He looked down and saw splatters
of blood mixed with mucous on the grey bathtub.
"Dad?
DAD?" He hated how desperate his voice sounded, but he was scared
now.
"I'M SORRY DAD! I'M A HORRIBLE BOY!" He
was standing at the door now, pounding it desperately. "DAD!
MUM?"
"SHUT UP, BOY!" came a bellow from
downstairs.
"MY EYES!" He couldn't open them. He
felt hot tears streaming down his face and he knew he was crying.
Footsteps came pounding up the stairs. Murdoc stepped
back from the door and his dad came in.
"WHAT DID I
TELL YOU?" he yelled, pointing at the bathtub.
"My
eyes, dad! They hurt!" sobbed Murdoc, fumbling blindly at his
father's trousers.
"YOU FILTHY DISGUSTING
REPULSIVE BOY!"
"Dad, dad please, it
hurts!"
"HURT? I'LL SHOW YOU HURT!"
Murdoc
felt his father grab his hair and pull him somewhere. When his
breathing got worse, Murdoc realised in horror that he must be
dangling over the bucket.
"No…no please
dad."
"Open your eyes."
"No,
they hurt…please!"
"OPEN THEM!"
Murdoc
let out a whine and forced himself to open his eyes. He cried out as
the fumes hit his already sore eyes.
"You deserve
this, boy! You stole from a nice lady, you made your mother cry and
its your fault we're poor! Its your fault Coalan died! Its all YOUR
FAULT!"
Murdoc cried and cried, keeping his eyes
wide open. It was his fault his baby brother had died! Hadn't he
been there when he had choked on the milk? He had supposed to
baby-sit him! Murdoc squeezed his eyes shut, the pain was
unbearable.
"OPEN. YOUR. FUCKING. EYES!" His
father hit his head, the bucket spilled and corrosive acid splashed
into his left eye. Then the world went red.
