Cry
Summary:"Remember to be you, for nothing could be more beautiful," During HBP. Based on the song 'Cry' by 'James Blunt'. He always felt left out, not worthy of being a Gryffindor, that he had something to prove. She always felt 'odd' and used to wish people didn't make fun of her. Join Luna as she helps Neville discover something about himself, talk with him about both their families and generally just bond. This is the story of the beginings of a great friendship. A big 'thank you' to my beta, Vera!
A/N: I own nothing except the plot. I DO NOT OWN THE SONG WORDS THEY BELONG TO JAMES BLUNT.
I
have seen peace.
I have seen pain, Resting on the shoulders of
your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
They
were sat on an old stone bench, hidden from prying eyes by the large
branches from an in-bloom tree. This was a common ritual, a way to
escape from the world of labels and sneers that they were thrust
into. They were sat close together to avoid the gusts of icy wind
this season merited and staring into each other's pained eyes, they
could see their own souls laid out, bare and ready for inspection. An
understanding like a thread of rope connected them, they knew both
knew this, they knew they accepted each other for who they were and
not who others wanted them to be.
They could have looked like old
lovers, at a stage were words were no longer necessary. But they both
new this wasn't true, not yet anyway.
"You think it'll always be this way?" asked Luna, her mood pensive. Her hair was tied up today; only a long strand of yellow hair covered her face. She rubbed her hands together.
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
Neville looked down to the floor, then raised his head and looked around at all the students laughing and joking with their friends. He sighed. "Yes,"
"Is that a bad thing?"
"I dunno, it might be,"
"I used to think it was," said Luna, staring at nothing in particular. "I used to think that because they thought I was strange, I was," she said, motioning to the people surrounding them. "I thought all the things they said about me were true. I used to go into the girls' toilets and cry sometimes, it made me feel better." She wrapped her robe more tightly around her.
And
if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and
cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend
"What made you stop?" asked Neville. "I mean, what stopped you thinking what they said was true?"
Luna smiled gently and took Neville's hand in her own, tracing the deep lines on it. "My dad. He made me remember what my mum had always said to me, he made me realise it didn't matter what other people thought of me, all that mattered was what I thought of me,"
Neville smiled. "You really believe that?"
"Yes…and you should too."
"I want to," he started, "I really want to think that no-ones opinion but mine matters…but I can't, I keep thinking I need to fit in. People then might like me more, Malfoy might not be like he his, everything would be easier,"
I
have seen birth.
I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's
final breath.
Do you see my guilt?
Luna rubbed Neville's hand that was in hers, "But would you be happier?" she asked, her large eyes boring into his.
"If I fitted in, you mean?"
She nodded.
"I dunno, I hope I would be, but I can't be sure, I mean, it's not like I'm suicidal now or anything. I don't know if I need to be happier, does that make sense?"
Luna pondered his question before saying finally, "You're saying you're happy now, you just want people to accept you as you are and not think of you as someone they can look down on,"
Neville nodded slowly, "Yeah, I guess so. I want to be myself but fit in at the same time,"
Should
I feel fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And
if you want to talk about it once again, On you I depend.
"Well, why can't you?"
"I don't know. I don't think people are ready to see the real me," After a long pause, "Luna?"
"Yes?"
"Can I show you something?"
She smiled, "Of course,"
I'll cry on your shoulder. You're a friend.
They walked across the student laden grounds, not talking until they reached a long corridor, at the end of which Neville stopped to look at a large portrait of a rather fat lady.
"Is it okay if you wait here? I don't know if you're allowed in,"
"Why? What is it?"
Neville looked around him, then whispered, "I don't know if I can tell you, you have to promise you'll never tell anyone else if I do,"
You and I have been through many things. I'll hold on to your heart.
Luna leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "I promise I won't tell a soul, I won't even tell to a Cross-eyed Truth Seeker,"
Neville raised his eyebrows but ignored the last part of her sentence; he'd become used to her saying strange things like that. "Okay, it's the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, so you'd better just wait here,"
"Okay,"
"I won't be long,"
I wouldn't cry for anything, But don't go tearing your life apart. I have seen fear.
He came crawling out of the Gryffindor common room entrance a few minutes later, a black and white moving photograph clasped in his right hand. Once free he leaned against the old wall. "We need to find somewhere private. How about the Room of Requirement?"
Luna looked confused but consented anyway. She seemed to realise this must be important to him if it needed it be shown in private.
I have seen faith.
They reached the Room of Requirement after five minutes of wandering along corridors and climbing up many staircases.
Once inside the room, they sat down on large, comfortable beanbags the colour of mustard and took in their surroundings. It was a brightly lit room with only the bean bags they were sitting on and a small wooden table placed in the center. It had an air of being calming as they walls were painted a pale blue.
Seen the look of anger on your face.
Neville held out the photograph so Luna could take it. "That's a picture of my parents," he said, "While they were still happy,"
On the photograph was indeed Frank and Alice Longbottom. They were smiling and hugging each other in front of the background of a large metal structure; the Eiffel Tower.
Luna looked at his parents smiling faces to Neville's sad one and smiled gently, "They're in Paris," she stated.
"Yeah, I think it was taken a couple of years before I born. I think my dad took my mum there for their anniversary,"
Luna looked back down at the photograph then handed it to Neville. "You look a lot like your mum,"
He grinned, "Yeah, people tell me that a lot," then he sobered up. "I don't really know why I'm showing you this, I think it's just you were talking about how your dad told you that it didn't matter what people thought of you and it reminded me of my parents. People tell me they never thought about what other people thought. Even though they used to tell my dad he'd never be able to become Auror, he ignored them and became one of the best. I wish I was like my dad, people expect me to be, but I'm not. It's not fair."
And if you want to talk about what will be, Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend.
Luna patted Neville on the arm. "Have you ever thought that you don't have to be like your dad? He might have been a good Auror, but you're good at other things, like Herbology."
"Yeah, but what use is that? My dad was good at things like Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts, I'm no good at either," he sighed.
Luna frowned. He really didn't know how well off he was. "Last year, in the D.A. you tried your hardest and learnt lots of spells some grown wizards can't even do, isn't that the sort of thing your dad would have done? See, you are like him, you just can't see it," she said as if that settled the matter.
"Maybe,"
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
"You are and I don't want to hear you complain about it again, okay? Stop comparing yourself to your dad, your not him, no one can be, you'll be good at things he wasn't and he'll be better than you at other things. That's how it works, think of the things you are good at and stop concentrating on the things you're not,"
She stood up, dragged her bean bag across the floor to the table, placed it down and sat on it, letting her arms fall onto the table.
Neville waited a few seconds to see if she would come back but she appeared to have fallen asleep. Sighing, he went to join her.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I can't help how I feel,"
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
She looked up at him, her head resting between her elbows. "Yes you can, you can accept you're not your dad, you can like yourself the way you are and stop caring about what other people think. Their opinion only matters if you let it," her head was held up in a defiant motion, it was pointless to argue.
"Yeah, but it's hard,"
"I never said it would be easy, only that you've got to do it,"
"You're very bossy today," he grinned.
"I have to be,"
"Look, I'll try okay but I'm not promising anything,"
She got up and sat down next to him on the hard floor. "Neville?"
"What?"
"You know I said my dad made me remember what my mum used to say?"
"Yeah'
"Do you want to know what it was?" she asked.
"What?"
I'm a friend.
"My mum said, "Remember to just be you, for nothing could be more beautiful."
A/N: If you've got this far, you can't be as bored as I thought you'd be. What do you think?
