No One's Pity Case
By Laura Schiller
Based on: Glee
Copyright: Ryan Murphy
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To: toosexyformychair
From: asianvampirelady
Date: 24/02/2015
Subject: Nobody's Pity Case
An e-mail? In list form? In which you mention STD's twice?This is your idea of a spontaneous romantic gesture?!
Just kidding. God, Artie, I cried all over the keyboard.
I'd rather be your backup than any other guy's number one. But still, I'm glad you didn't mean it like that. Mike told me once I should accept my role as a prop on the stage of Rachel's life. He fed me some crap about how it was just as important, etc., but it still stuck with me. You wouldn't have said that. You always thought of me as a star, even when I was slouching through McKinley in a knit cap with blue streaks in my hair.
I've always wanted to belong somewhere, I guess. As a Korean-Jewish kid with antisocial tendencies in a place like Lima, I was afraid I never would. In our first years of high school, I tried to tell myself I didn't care, that "true power lay in nonconformity" – remember? – and that the popular kids were all idiots anyway. But I still wanted to be one of them. That's part of why I fell so hard for Mike, I guess. (The other part was his abs. But you don't need to hear that, do you?)
It's also why my dad used to start hyperventilating every time my credit card bills came back from the mall. I've tried on so many identities I can't even remember who I am.
Except when I'm with you.
Remember the time I tried to sing "My Funny Valentine" for Mike and broke down crying? I told everyone it was because I was so in love. But the truth is, I was scared. Scared that it wouldn't last, that this perfect, gorgeous guy would stop wanting me once he found out what I was really like. I never felt that scared when I was with you. You were my best friend before we were a couple. I could yell at you like a crazy person and you took it without batting an eyelash. That sounds weird, but it's true. We could be weird together.
The last time I can remember feeling really good about myself – not just my outfit or my boyfriend or our Glee club trophies – was when you thanked me for believing you could dance someday. Nobody says you have to, of course. You're whole the way you are, I never doubted that. But if by some miracle our scientists get far enough for you to dance again, I want to be your partner.
Of course I can forgive you for Sugar Motta and all the rest. What I'm finding hard to forgive is her telling you and Rory she felt bad for you. You're no one's pity case.
I respected you ever since I saw you back-talking some football players who were giving you a hard time. And I wanted you, I mean really wanted you, ever since I heard you singing in that sexy smoky voice of yours and kicking ass on your electric guitar. But I never pitied you. Even if I cried when you cried that Christmas when your Re-Walk came.
So in case it wasn't clear, my answer is yes. Yes to everything. To getting back together, to the detailed and ambitious career plans you're no doubt already working on, you big nerd. (Pots and kettles, lol.) Thank God our schools are close enough that we can at least see each other on weekends. I'm coming over. You make popcorn, I'll bring The Corpse Bride.
Love you, my future Tim Burton.
- T