Author: Aria Marier

Title: Irreversible

Fandom: Teen Titans

Pairing: Robin/Starfire

Spoilers: "Stranded"

Disclaimer: Am no longer a teenager, so could not conceivably have anything to do with Teen Titans or affiliated owners, corporations, institutions, or cabals. Similarly, I have no affiliations or connections with the Disney Corporation, which owns Shego and Dr. Drakken, but I used them anyway because c'mon, who doesn't want to see Shego and Starfire duke it out?

Summary: Sometimes Cyborg says stupid things, but he's right more often than not. A trip into an observation of the Titans' non-couple through the eyes of our mechanical friend.

A.N.: Taking a leap here from my usual fandom of Yu-gi-oh, but perhaps this will snap me out of my writing slump, yes? Here's to my first foray into non-angst, non-slash, non-YGO writing. Cheers!

Irreversible

So, sometimes I say some pretty stupid things. Like the time I told Raven she should consider going a little easier on the eyeliner. I mean, c'mon, she looks like she's gotten punched in the eye all the freaking time, people. It's a little much. Or that time Beast Boy and I got into an argument about his getting rid of all my red meat. He said I already had more than enough iron in my system and I really didn't need anymore, which was about the time when I told him I guessed he would have to careful next time he decided to change into a beef bearing animal or I would slap him on the grill before he would be able to say "tofu burger."

But nothing beat the time I called Star Robin's girlfriend. C'mon, you know he had it coming. Like it would have been a surprise to any of us, right? I mean, Star's this beautiful, funny, strong as hell alien girl who can kick his ass any day of the week, and they'd always been close. Good friends, like we all are. I mean, the Titans are tight, y'understand? We're a team, and we're best friends. Frankly, I can't imagine working any other way.

But there was always something kinda different about Robin and Starfire. The thing was, none of us even noticed it for a long, long time. Hell, I can't even pinpoint when it started. Maybe it was always there. Anyway, one thing you've got to understand is that any one of us would do anything for any one of the others. Always. I mean, when you put your life on the line everyday, you've got to be able to trust your friends to back you up, right? And we always did. But I started to notice that if it began to look like Star was going to be in some serious trouble, Robin went into this bizarre overdrive to be able to get to her. Not that he would ignore us, nah, of course not. And he always knew Star could take care of herself. Which was why it was so weird when he would suddenly flip out and start fighting like the world was about to end. Took me way too long to figure out that maybe, for him, it would.

The funny thing is that I never had any doubts about Star. You could always tell that Robin was something special to her—maybe because he was the first person here to really like her for who she was, maybe because he trusts her so totally, maybe coz he leads the team. Who knows? I mean, he is one slick character, right, with the mask and the mystery and the way-awesome utility belt, but if there's anyone of us that can see past the mask, then it's Star.

So B.B. and I started snickering about it, just by ourselves, natch. If Raven noticed, I doubt she cared, and it just popped out there after fighting that freaking space-slug-beetle thing when they were doing their normal awkward (for Robin) and exuberant (for Star) complimenting of each other's fighting prowess (B.B. and I have decided this is the code they've settled on so they never actually have to say anything. Actually, it's probably code for Robin. Star no doubt means everything she says exactly like she says it), and it just comes out. And it was a joke. Lighten the mood a bit, right? But Robin didn't laugh or anything, and that made it awkward. He had this weird, like, spasm or something, and went bright red, and said, in this overly loud voice that she wasn't his girlfriend, which was about the time that Star just wilted and I figured out that I'd just said something irreversibly stupid.

Now, you've got to understand that Starfire doesn't deal with things the way most people here do. Everything, every word and emotion and action, is of equal importance to her. D'you understand? Equal importance. So she can, and does, go from blindingly happy in one second to drooping and blue the next, all because of a few words. And when she gets fired up, she gets fired up. It's actually kinda cute, after you get used to it. Maybe too many people don't feel things as much as they should anymore, but anyway, it's sort of good to know that at least Star has that sort of intensity, and she's corrected our twisted-up priorities on more than one occasion. So when Robin said she wasn't his girlfriend, she took it on a few different levels, and none of them were good.

First of all, there's the "friend" business. The most important thing to Star is her friends—us. Her friends have always been her top priority, and the idea that one of them wouldn't admit that she was as important to them as they were to her, well, that sort of shatters her a little bit. And she knew Robin didn't mean she wasn't a girl, so she probably thought he just didn't want a friend who was a girl, for what reason I have no idea. But Star—her confidence isn't always what it could be, you know? Part of feeling everything so deeply, I guess.

What I don't think Robin got, though, was that Star knows exactly what the term "girlfriend" means here, and even though no one had ever said anything about it, and they'd never defined it, we all knew that was where they were headed. Until this.

Man, I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he was trying to save face or something—I guess I embarrassed him, since it hit so close to home, but it's clear to me and it's clear to everyone else that if Robin loves anyone, it's Starfire.

All this was approximately thirty seconds before we all got thrown around to various parts of some backwater planet that I'd never even heard of before, and that was all I knew about it, or even thought about it, until B.B. and I finally got the T-Plane up in the air and found them on the side of some giant crevasse. They were hugging, so I figured everything was alright, and hailed them. Star of course sparked into absolute delight and waved at us, and Robin even smiled, which was about the time I realized he still had his hands on her waist. So maybe things had gone better than alright, and Star had finally forced him out of his shell and out from behind the mask, and everyone was happy and fine until we got back to Titans' Tower.

Now, you may be wondering why I got myself involved in this at all, right? I mean, come on, I have to wonder myself. Truth is, Star can even soften me up, so when she knocked at the door to my workroom the other day with this sad, kicked look in her eyes, of course I let her in and ask what's going on, even though I already knew. When Star has a problem, she doesn't come to me, she goes to Robin. So it must be about Robin.

And boy, was I right.

"I do not understand," she tells me, drooping into a chair and looking at the floor. "Ever since you said the 'girl friend', he has been acting very strangely. I had hoped he would be able to talk to me about it since we were victorious over the evil space-slug, but he has not been talking to me at all."

She was right, of course. I'd seen it myself. Once we'd gotten home from the mission, Robin had excused himself and then locked himself in his room. Ever since then, he'd only been coming out for meals and training. As far as I could tell, he spent most of his time working out in the gym, and even when he came and hung out, he was normal with us but distant with Star. None of us knew what they had talked about back on the planet, but I guess it hadn't all been settled like I thought it would be.

So now I have to explain Robin to Star. Hoo, boy.

I clear my throat a couple of times, feeling cold sweat bead on my forehead when she looked up at me, and thought yeah, okay, Robin, I get where you're coming from.

But I will KILL you for making me cover for you here.

"Well," I begin, and hate that my voice decides to crack just then, "you gotta understand, Star, that Robin's never been very good with…er…"—I cast about frantically—"…talking. Uh. You know?"

God, those big green eyes are killer. I wish I had a collar to loosen.

"He has always talked before," she offers, confused.

"Well, sure, yeah, he talks, he just doesn't…talk," I finish lamely. "About. Um. You know…feelings." Oh man, is this uncomfortable.

"Oh," she says sadly. "Yes. That is what he said before, as well."

Before? "So…you did talk about it. Back on that planet."

"Yes. And I thought that I understood, but now I know I do not. And I thought that we had talked, but now I do not think we ever did." She looks as though she's going to shrink into herself, with her arms wrapped around her knees, and I resolve to make Robin suffer before he dies. She has her eyes on the floor, which is just as well because it's at about this point when I realize that there's a Robin-shaped shadow at my door, listening.

Okay, Cy, think. There's got to be a way you can use this to your advantage.

I sit down across from Star and run a hand over my head. Luckily, I don't need to pretend I don't know what to say, because I don't. "I don't know," I tell her. See? "Guess I shouldn't have said it in the first place." Well, that's true enough.

She sniffs, a little. "It is not your fault. Perhaps it would have happened sooner or later, anyway." She sniffs again, and pulls herself a little closer. "Perhaps I should not have said anything, either. But I wished to know."

Now I'm getting curious. "Know what?"

"It does not matter," she sighs. "All he wants is to be together the way we always have been. And that is good, I suppose. I am glad to keep him as my very good friend."

"Of course you're friends!" I can't imagine a world where Robin and Star are not best friends. "He just needs some sense beaten into him, that's all."

A small smile quirks her mouth, but her eyes remain on the floor. So there's something else.

"But if he is my friend," she says softly, " then why do I feel differently about him than about my other friends? You are my very good friend, too, Cyborg, as is Raven, and Beast Boy. Why is Robin different?"

I didn't have anything to say to that, and just looked at her, while out of the corner of my eye I saw the shadow at the door slip silently away.

It was only about forty minutes later when the alarm went off and Robin sprinted into the living room yelling "Trouble!"

The mission wasn't a hard one. Some deranged blue guy trying to break into the Wayne Tech. Institute for some Doomsday device. He was no problem—B.B. and Raven and I took him down pretty quickly. The problem was with his back-up, this scary-looking chick in green and black who, it turns out, could prove that Star's not the only girl around who can shoot green stuff from her hands. She and Star were duking it out in the upper rafters of the warehouse we found ourselves in, and even though Star had the upper hand with her flying, she seemed a little sluggish and this other girl was giving her a real run for her money. The blue guy was proving slipperier than we had figured, so B.B. and I were chasing after him, Raven was blocking the exits, and Robin was on his way up to the rafters to help Star when it happened—the other girl swung around a pipe and got a perfect kick straight to Star's midsection and Star just…dropped, and I heard Robin scream her name.

It was something like a three-story fall from the top, where she'd been, and it looked like she was going to plummet the entire way. I caught a glimpse of her face as she fell—she looked terrified, and the green glow that usually signifies her powers was gone from her eyes. That was all I saw before she was encased in the familiar black bubble of Raven's powers and drifted gently to the floor where she sat up with a hand to her forehead. I looked back up in time to see Robin, white as a ghost, get the other girl in the back with a kick and tie her up with one of his handy belt tools. B.B. and Raven had the blue guy cornered, and the mission was over. Star didn't say anything, but instead of flying back to the Tower like usual, I drove her back in the T-car in silence as she looked out the window.

I should never have gotten involved. Never. But I was, so later that night, after wondering about it all afternoon, I went to Star's room to ask her what had happened, but she wasn't there, or in the living room, so I went up to the roof where I know she likes to go to think, but as I went to the stairs, I saw a familiar black-and-yellow cape swirl through the doorway.

Now, I am not normally a curious sort of guy, but like I said, I'd gotten involved in this and I was pretty determined to see it through, so I sneak up after him and watch through the door as he sat down next to Star, who has her arms wrapped around her knees again and is looking sadly out at the sunset and the stars coming out.

They sit like that for a long time without speaking, until finally Robin shifts and speaks almost too quietly for me to hear. "What happened out there?"

She shrugs. "I—was taken by surprise. She was a powerful fighter, and I lost my concentration."

I frown. Star is a terrible lier, so I don't know why she would try to pass this off now, to the person most likely to see through it, unless—

"Don't lie to me," Robin says sharply, and she recoils quickly, resting her chin on her knees. "It was just like before, when you couldn't fly."

Star sits there for a long time without looking at him, and then says, "I'm sorry," in a small voice.

"I told you," she continues after a moment, "I did say, Robin, that my powers are driven by my emotions, and sometimes I cannot control them so well as I would like."

There's silence again for a long time, and in it I watch Robin and see, to my surprise, that his shoulders are shaking.

And suddenly it all comes together.

If Starfire's powers are powered by her emotions, then her confusion and sadness would almost definitely impair her ability to fight. Apparently it had happened once before already, and I had just seen it happen again. Robin's refusal to back down and admit something hard for him to say caused Star to fall during the fight, and might have killed her.

What must have been going through his mind, when he saw her fall?

"I couldn't stop you from falling," he says finally, and his voice is even but low, disbelieving. "I was too slow. I wouldn't have been able to help you."

"I am fine," she tells him. "Raven stopped me before I was in danger—"

"I couldn't stop you," he says again, and this time his voice sounds ragged at the edges, like that though has been cutting at him all day. "But I won't let you fall again, Star."

She still isn't turning to look at him. "Of course, Robin." Her voice is soothing, trusting, but disinterested, and I can't shake the feeling that they're on two separate sides of a bottomless chasm, looking across at each other but too far to hear the other's voice.

A pause.

"I love you, Star."

Finally! It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and cheering right then, but visions of Robin's wrath falling on me was enough to keep me quiet.

"I know you do, Robin." Her voice is still that same soothing tone. "As you love all of your friends. You are very dear to me, also."

I groaned to myself. Some girls might have been saying that to try and get more of a confession, but Star genuinely meant all that she said, always.

Luckily, Robin stepped in. He reaches out and takes her shoulder, turning her so that he could look her in the face, though what expression might be read through that mask of his I have no idea.

"No, Star, no," he says, quietly but with force behind it. "I love you. I always have. I just—couldn't say it before. I'm sorry."

"You—are certain?" Star doesn't sound very certain herself, but at least she's looking at him now. He nods, and a smile starts on her face and in her eyes that transforms her whole attitude until she is glowing and sparkling and even Robin is smiling as he takes her hand and that's about when I leave, while he's pulling her toward him, because, hey, some things should be kept private.

But just to make sure, when they came back down into the living room where I was stomping Beast Boy at video games, I glance up, and give him my best knowing grin, nudging B.B. to look.

"Where've you been?" I tease, winking at B.B., who grins over at them, "out with your girlfriend?"

Robin just gives us all this cocky little smile, and puts an arm around Star's waist. "Yeah," he says, chill as can be, while B.B.'s jaw drops almost to the floor and even Raven looks up with interest from her book. "I was."

Guess I don't say such stupid things after all.