TITLE: Leather and Lace

AUTHOR: Faith Alana Alastair

DISCLAIMER: I'm not Donald Bellisario, nor am I affiliated with Progressive Insurance in any way.

FANDOM: NCIS, crossed with a certain addictive commercial.

PAIRING: Abby/Flo

RATING: PG-13

SUMMARY/PROMPT: Gibbs has set Abby up with a blind date.

SPOILERS: None

AUTHOR'S NOTES: this is pure crack!fic. I was prompted by my wife, grdnofsmthings as a joke.

FEEDBACK: Oh, please, do tell me how hard you laughed.

DISTRIBUTION:Want...Ask...Have

Abby sat at the bar and sighed, looking down into the empty glass in her hand. She hated blind dates, but Gibbs had insisted she'd like this person. She shrugged, signaling the bartender for a refill. The beautiful strawberry blonde bartender chuckled and poured the ridiculous red bull and cola concoction Abby had ordered and set it in front of her, a toothpick umbrella skewering two cherries to one side.

"There you go, hun." She wiped the bar off from the condensation and picked up the empty glass.

Abby smiled briefly, accepting the drink. "Thanks, Jess."

Suddenly the door opened, a beautiful brunette walking in. She was wearing a brown leather jumpsuit, a hint of white peeking out from under it, and carried a motorcycle helmet under her arm. She made her way over to the bar, sitting next to Abby with a perfect smile. "You must be Abby."

Abby looked over, smiling just a bit. Maybe Gibbs did know her that well. "Yeah," she said, holding out a hand. "You must be Flo."

"...So what do you do?" Flo asked, having ordered a drink and squirmed out of the top of her jumpsuit. She had indeed been wearing perfectly bleached white underneath.

"I'm in forensics," Abby said, chewing a cherry. "I work with the Navy. You?"

Flo accepted the drink from the bartender with a toothpaste-ad smile and took a sip before answering. "Well, to be honest, I sell insurance."

"Well, do you like doing it?" Abby toyed with the stem, looking at Flo.

"It's my favorite thing in the world," Flo admitted with a small smile.

Abby grinned. "Well that's what counts. Gibbs said to me once, if you don't like doing it, it's not worth doing."

Flo nodded. "Did he tell you how we met?" She took another sip from her drink and set it down, forearms leaning on the bar.

"No, tell me." Abby leaned forward, anything about Gibbs behind the scenes interested her. The man was like a father to her.

"He's been a client of mine for years... he came in about boat insurance, for the one he's building? I sail, a bit, so we began talking, and suddenly he says to me, 'I know this girl who'd think you were an absolute knockout.' I was about to ask him how he knew I liked women, but something about him told me not to bother. I agreed to meet you." She smiled around the rim of the glass. "He knows so much about so many things, I figured why not?"

Abby nodded. "I knew about the boat. You sail, and ride? I'm a bit impressed." She blushed just a bit. "I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle."

"I'd be happy to take you for a ride..." Flo smirked, winking at Abby.

Abby grinned, draining the rest of her drink. She set the glass on the bar, folding her hands in front of her. "Anytime you want."

Flo took one more sip, set the drink down on the bar with a generous tip, and stood, pulling up her jumpsuit. "C'mon, I have an extra helmet."

Abby exhaled a deep breath, her arms around Flo's waist. She felt the wind brush past her neck, right where her tattoo was and decided she liked this woman. She was a contradiction in a lot of ways, just like she was herself. "Badass," she said out loud before she realized.

"Hmm?" Flo asked over her shoulder. "Did you say something?"

"I said you're badass!" Abby called over the roar of the Harley-Davidson between her thighs.

Flo laughed, her hand coming to rest on Abby's for a moment, squeezing. She pulled to a stop on an overlook, parking the bike. "I'm just me."

Abby stood, sliding off the bike as Flo shifted, sitting on it sideways. "You sail, you ride, you're beautiful..." she trailed off as Flo lifted her helmet off her head. "And you have perfect hair after wearing a motorcycle helmet." She pouted adorably.

Flo reached for her, pulling her a bit closer. "I'm just me, Abby. And you're beautiful, too." She leaned up, capturing Abby's lips gently, holding her as she melted, guiding her to sit on her lap.

Abby's eyes fluttered shut as Flo's kiss invaded her senses. She unbuckled the helmet from under her chin blindly, dropping it to the ground as her other hand slid behind Flo's neck. She pulled back a bit, smiling shyly. "Did Gibbs also tell you I've only ever dated one other woman?"

Flo nodded. "Right before he said 'so if you hurt her, I'm coming after you.'"

Abby blushed deeply, eyes closing in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

Flo reached out, lifting Abby's chin. "No reason to be. He cares about you, it's sweet."

"So are you." Abby tilted her head, kissing Flo's fingertips. She shivered a bit, pulling her sweater closer around her. "I should get home soon..."

Flo nodded. "I can take you home." She smiled, starting to stand.

Abby stood to let her, and as soon as Flo was seated, took her place behind her, replacing the helmet on her head.

Flo started the bike, pulling away, smiling as Abby tightened her grip. "Direct me?"

Abby nodded against Flo's back and called out directions every so often, sighing with a touch of regret as they stopped in front of her apartment. "Would you... like to come in?"

Flo smiled as she took off her helmet. "Sure." She reached out, stroking a finger down Abby's cheek and took the helmet from her, stowing it and locking up her bike. "That sounds really nice."

Abby grinned, turning to unlock her door, letting Flo into the dark space. "I have kind of a geek cave," she said quietly. "Computer games and stuff. Not as bad as McGee, but still."

Flo laughed a bit and lay a hand on Abby's shoulder. "What games do you have? I have an Xbox at home."

Abby's eyes widened a bit, and she leaned in, kissing Flo, a bit harder this time. Pulling back for air after a few moments, she looked at Flo, eyes taking in all of her. "I think you might just be the perfect woman."

Flo did laugh then, tugging Abby into the living room to sit down. "You keep saying these things, but I'm just me. You're pretty amazing, though. I love your tattoos." She leaned forward, her lips brushing the spiderweb on Abby's neck.

Abby shivered, eyes slipping closed, her own tongue darting across her lips. "Thanks. I have twelve."

Flo breath drifted hot over Abby's skin. "I hope I get to see them."

Abby swallowed hard as she felt Flo's tongue trace the lines of webbing across her pulse point. "I have a feeling you will."

"Oh yeah?" Flo smiled as she pulled back, a trace of a smirk at the corner of her lips. "Well, I see a couple now..."

Abby grinned and counted off, tapping body parts. "Finger, wrist, forearm... ankles." She pulled up her slacks so Flo could see the tiny smiley and dots. "And neck, obviously."

"That's only eight." She lifted Abby's hand to her lips, kissing the smiley there.

"Well, you'll have to earn the others." She smiled coyly, tugging Flo gently as she leaned back against the arm of the sofa.

Flo took her lead, stretching out her length alongside Abby, kissing her deeply. She let her hand trace the inked webbing, over the leather choker and through a pigtail.

Abby slid her hands up the leather to the zipper, tugging it down to her waist before breaking the kiss with a shy smile. "Not that I don't think leather's sexy as hell, but..."

Flo nodded with a smile, standing to tug it down over her hips, her pants the same brilliant white as her shirt. "It gets in the way." She let it hang from her hips, leaning down to kiss Abby again.

Abby smiled against her lips and tugged the leather further, pushing it firmly with a booted foot until it came free of Flo's own boots. "Better. Now at least we're even." She looked up at Flo, eyes twinkling.

"A starting place of equal footing?" Flo quirked an eyebrow.

Abby bit her lip and nodded. "A starting place of equal footing." With that, she rose, taking Flo's hand and leading her through the apartment.

Following Abby, Flo closed the distance, wrapping her arms around her. "I could get used to this," she whispered. "Not that I'm assuming anything..."

Abby turned, kissing her gently. "I could too. I really could." She backed up the edge of the bed and turned, sitting Flo down on the edge. Turning her back to her, she slipped her sweater off, the low-cut back of her blouse showing off the stick figures on her shoulders. "Nine and Ten."

Flo watched Abby undress slowly and licked her lips, feeling her arousal increasing. She reached out, half-rising, and traced her fingertips over the hint of ink visible in the center of Abby's back. "Eleven?"

Abby nodded over her shoulder, winking and grinning. She tugged her lip between her teeth once more and tugged her top over her head, revealing the entirety of the covered tattoo and the mysterious remaining one. "And twelve," she whispered.

Flo moaned low in her throat, fully rising and sliding her arms around Abby, her lips making contact with her back. "You're so beautiful."

Abby blushed, turning in Flo's embrace and tugging at the zipper of the white shirt-jacket. "So are you. And we're not even anymore."

Flo nodded, smiling as she shrugged out of the jacket, tugging off the blue and orange t-shirt underneath. "We are now." She leaned in, kissing Abby deeply. Sliding her arms around her bare torso, Flo's fingers toyed with the clasp of Abby's black lace bra until she nodded, then undid it, sliding the bra off slowly.

Abby's fingers undid the clasp of Flo's bra, and slid it down, lip firmly between her teeth. She reflected briefly on her only other experience, and her confidence in Gibbs, deciding it had ended very well. With the end of her train of thought, she tugged Flo over to the bed, and lay down, smiling. "Make love to me, Flo."