Diary of a Mad Black Fan: A Sirius Lover
By Blue Eyes At Night
Note: This is part of what will eventually at some point in time become a series of Sirius/OC one-shots involving my character Aspen Stanton. I don't want to give too much away but she's quite the character…kind of a female version of Sirius and he's narcissistic enough to go for that. She's got very Marauder-esque feelings about pranks and rules and and ol' friend she has affectionately (yeah right) dubbed Snivvy-Wivvy. So, as PURE entertainment, here are snippets from Aspen's diary/day planner kind of thing for the sheer amusement of readers. Feel free to imagine yourself as Aspen, I think she's the type of character we all would love to be.
Note Two: I kind of randomly selected a year but I think we're all in the consensus that the Marauders' seventh year was sometime in the 70s? I'm just choosing 74, I wasn't alive so I'm just guessing…
Part One: September-October of Marauder's Seventh Year at Hogwarts
September 1, 1974
Came to Hogwarts and endured the longest Sorting of my LIFE. Possibly felt long because McGonagal made me sit at the opposite end of the table from Sirius. Something about "the inability to control ourselves". Not our fault we're randy.
Had to endure the whole James/ Lily unrequited love thing AGAIN. Swear if she doesn't go out with him I will personally put a love potion in her pumpkin juice.
September 5, 1974
A sad day, Filtch has decidedly added ever single one of the fifty five new Zonko's products to the Banned List. Not that it stops me from buying them but can now have to do it on sly. Normally "doing stuff on the sly" involves snogging Sirius in Astronomy Tower, am not looking forward to cutting into that time for Fanged Frisbees and Dung Bombs.
September 9, 1974
If Binns weren't dead would KILL him. Not only did I get a Troll grade on the monstrously hard test today, but got detention for making out with Sirius to make myself feel better. Really, it was Sirius or Slime Bouncers for a morale boost and me snogging my boyfriend does not involve half the classroom getting covered in five inches of sticky green slime.
September 10, 1974
Slime Bouncers have been added to Filtch's list. Bugger that man. Contemplating transfiguring Mrs. Norris into a tea kettle.
September 13, 1974
Detention for Binns was made far more entertaining when Sirius and James showed up outside the window and did crazy stunts on brooms. Lily walked in looking for a book on Mideval Charm-work and yelled at them for being such great idiots.
She definitely fancies James.
September 23, 1974
Have discussed plan with Sirius to slip Lily some Veritaserum. At least we can find out if she likes James.
And also what color knickers she wears. (Sirius insisted on flowered while I fought for pink)
September 27, 1974
After searching for Veritaserum have FINALLY found some. Might have promised to lone the Bloody Baron my body though…
September 28, 1974
Not only does Lily like James, but she doesn't wear knickers….who'd've known?
October 5, 1974
Quidditch match, Gryffindor (with James and Sirius) versus Slytherin (Why was I sorted in with those gits?)
Gryffindor slaughtered them 450 to 20.
Managed during that time to fill Snivvy-Wivvy's hat with grape jelly and put a permanent sticking charm on the soles of his shoes. Ah, the first Snape prank of the year, God that feels good.
October 6, 1974
Grape Jelly has been added to Filtch's list of Banned Items….think the house elves might have something to say about that.
October 11, 1974
If McGonagal didn't remind me so much of my grandmother, would Jelly-Legs Jinx her into next century. Got two weeks worth of detention for having a harmless bit of PDA with my boyfriend!
Also had a chair magically stuck to the butt of my robes because apparently Sirius' lap doesn't qualify as a seat. And apparently snogging doesn't count as practicing Transference even though I clarified that she neither instructed us that the transference had to be magical or that it couldn't involve transferring my boyfriend's tongue into my mouth.
October 15, 1974
It took Sirius 4 days to nail the same amount of detention as me. I think McGonagal made the other teacher's hold off on the punishment because she knew he was trying to keep me company.
But I guess Summoning the Giant Squid into Snivvy-Wivvy's cauldron during potions was too big for even McGonagal to overlook.
October 18, 1974
I have discovered a deep love for cleaning cauldrons. Did you know that if you engorge them you can fit two people in there sound as a pound? Hehehehe.
October 21, 1974
The Marauders have, reluctantly, come to terms with the fact that their final Halloween prank in Hogwarts is fast approaching and Sirius won't give me any hints as to what it is.
Maybe I'll have to wonder up to the Gryffindor dorms and persuade him a bit.
October 23, 1974
Despite a whole weekend of persuasion, Sirius will not slip a word about the prank. Have threatened him with Veritaserum, though won't use it. Suppose will just have to try more, er, "persuation".
October 26, 1974
Almost forgot Remus was a werewolf. Didn't even realize that September had a full moon. Poor chap might be too sickly to involve himself in prank.
October 29, 1974
Remus has made a very fast recovery and James and Sirius have dangerous glint in their eyes. Lily is nervous but I'm excited….wonder how much stuff Filtch will ban after Halloween?
October 31, 1974
Am dating world's GREATEST prankster. Well…suppose Lily is too….oh well…
Imagine seeing everyone's faces when at breakfast in the Great Hall not only does EVERY SINGLE goblet start attacking its owners (except of course those belonging to the Marauders and their girlfriends) and not only does all the cutlery start tangoing, but all of the hats on the head of every teacher burst into the most vulgar songs ever written.
Dumbledore cracked a smile, McGonagal cracked a whip.
Ah well, she's lived through us for seven years, I reckon she can handle one more.
Note Again: Well….this looks like its turning into a shoddy humor fic, will go through entirety of seventh year through these short entries. Feel free to suggest stuff, I might run out of ideas. If you like it, great. If you don't…bugger off to a different fic! Lol, just kidding.
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