Disclaimer: I don't own any Artemis Fowl characters, locations, ect, ect. I wish I did though, then I could make Opal Koboi clean my cats' litterbox!
Prolouge: Wonderful News
"We have wonderful news, Arty."
Artemis Fowl II, 15, genius, heir to the Fowl criminal (or once criminal) empire, and consultant to a fairy private detective team, had no idea how to react to this statement. In the old days "wonderful news" to his father would have been a large monitary gain, but Artemis doubted that was the explanation for this interruption to his daily routine. So he asked a question.
"What sort of news?"
His mother looked beside herself. So beside herself, in fact, that she could not bring the wonderful news past her lips. She stammered, started over, and cut herself off, then after some time finally blurted out the news. The news that would change Artemis's life forever.
"Your father and I are having a baby!"
Artemis struggled to keep his composure. A baby! Insane. Ludicrous. Completley beyond the pale. He forced a smile.
"That's-loveley."
Artemis fled the room, his head spinning. He did not stop walking till he reached his study, where his lifelong friend and protector, Domovoi Butler, stood waiting.
"Well?" asked Butler. "What was their news?"
Artemis flopped over into an armchair.
"You don't want to know, Butler. You don't want to know."