Hey everybody! So I'm in a humorous mood at the moment so here I am, writing a humorous fic! This is another CATSone...hope ya'll enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned CATS I would be rich and famous right now. As it is, I'm sitting at my computer, contemplating weather or not I want left-over pizza or PB&J for lunch. I rest my case.

~Rosebud5

Big Paw

"Guysguysguysguys!" Mistoffelees burst into the middle of the Yard, drawing all eyes to him as he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I SAW HIM! I SAW HIM WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!"

"Saw who?" Alonzo asked, raising an eyebrow at his younger brother.

"BIG PAW!" Misto screeched, waving his paws in the air. "HE WAS HUGE AND UGLY AND HAIRY AND STINKY-"

"So kinda like Tugger in the morning?" Mungojerrie smirked, afterwards having a rusty coke can thrown at his head by the afore mentioned Tugger.

"I'M SERIOUS!" the magical cat insisted, running over to Munkustrap and shaking him by the shoulders. "You're the protector, buddy! Go cage him and send him off to some-"

"Misto," Munkustrap inturrupted him with his regular calmness, patting the kitten on the head. "There is no such thing as Big Paw. He's a legend."

"Nu-uh! If he was a legend would I be able to tell you he smells like stinky cheese?" Misto yelped, shaking Munkustrap again.

"Misto. You had too much cat-nip this morning, didn't you?"

"NO-Yeah. Maybe a little. BUT YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME! HE WAS HUGE!" the tux kitten insisted, racing over to Bombalurina, who was yawning in bordeom. "I really did see him, Pretty Lady!" he cried.

Bombalurina snickered and patted him on the head just as Munkustrap had done moments eairler. "I'm sure you did. And I'm Rosmarie Ford in disguise."

"Who?" Misto paused for a moment, looking at Bombalurina in confusion.

"Misto, listen," Munkustrap sighed, getting to his feet and going over to the younger cat. "I'm not sure you saw Big Paw, but I'm sure you saw something. And just so you'll rest easy, I'll stay up tonight and see if this 'Big Paw' comes back, ok?"

"Yes, yes! Thank you, Mukustrap! Here's the important things to remember:" Misto began, as if he was an expert on the subject. "He's bigger than you. He's meaner than you. And he smells like stinky cheese, so hold your breath when you're fighting him. Oh, and one more thing."

"And what's that?" Munkustrap laughed.

"Don't die," Misto's eyes became serious.

"Thank you ever so much," Munkustrap chuckled. "I'll try not to."

XXXXXXX

"I'm telling you, I saw him! he was huge, and hairy, and ugly, and he smelled like cheese!"

"I'm sure he did," Demeter snorted.

"No, really! He DOES exist! I saw him, I tell you! Why would I lie about that?"

"There's no such thing as Big Paw!"

"YES THERE STINKIN' IS!"

"Munkustrap, hon, you've officially lost your marbles," Demeter sighed as she gently massaged the silver tabby's tense shoulders. "Listen, you were up all last night and the dark can play tricks on you."

"But we can see in the dark!" Munkustrap said, annoyed. "And I saw Big Paw!"

"Sweetie, I'm sure you saw something, but I'm sure it wasn't Big Paw," Demeter giggled, leaning foward and putting her head on his shoulder.

"Yes, it was! He smelled like stinky cheese, just like Misto said," Munkustrap sighed. "I should have listened to the kid all along!"

"Okay, Munkustrap, if you really think that you've seen Big Paw, I'll tell you what. We set a trap and try and catch this monster, hmm? And then we'll see just what you and Misto think you saw."

"Which was Big Paw."

"Of course it was, honey. Now how about you go lay down for a while?"

"I DON'T NE-Okay, yeah. That's a good idea."

XXXXXXXX

"Think this net is big enough?" Misto asked Munkustrap that afternoon as they diligently sat up the Big Paw trap. They had tried to recruit others to help, but everybody else believed they had gone off their rockers.

"It's the biggest one I could find," Munkustrap said, putting the last bit of the trap into place. "I think it should be big enough."

"Okay, whatever you say," Misto shrugged. He quickly zapped the net with his magic lightening, enchanting the trap so it would catch the enemy the second it touched the ropes.

"We're finally gonna get proof!" Munkustrap smiled. "We'll be famous, kid!"

"I know!" Mistoffelees beamed. "Now, let's go hide and wait for Big Paw."

"You got it."

The two cats snuck into the broken oven and peeped out through the window, waiting for their prey to appear.

However, minutes turned into hours and soon it was nearly midnight.

"Think he'll come back tonight?" Misto asked in a whisper.

"We can hope," Munkustrap shrugged.

"I think he's not comin'-"

But then a snap and a yowl came from outside the oven. The friends gasped and looked out the oven. Sure enough, something big an hairy and cheese scented struggled inside the net.

"WE GOT HIM!" they cried, leaping out of the oven and racing over to the trap.

"We got you, Mr. Big Paw!" Misto cried triumphantly, standing over the struggling creature. "And you really ARE big and hairy and smell of cheese-"

But then the net snapped and the creature stood up to his not-so-really-big height.

"Oh kitty poop," Misto whispered. Standing in front of him and Munkustrap was none other than the one and only Old Dueteronomy himself.

"O-oh...Sir...um..." Munkustrap faltered. "What are you doing back before the Ball?"

"I was just going to visit and I was trying to make it a suprise by sneaking around for a few days," the Leader crossed his arms. "May I ask why I was caught in a net?"

"We thought you were Big Paw," Misto said sheepishly.

"Pshh, I didn't," Munkustrap fibbed. "I knew it was you all along." (This received him a wallop upside the head from Misto.)

"You two and your imiginations," Old Dueteronomy laughed. "Big Paw doesn't exist."

"Says the talking cat," a new voice came from behind them. They slowly turned around...

"AAAHHHHH!"

The End!

Well? I hope you all laughed alot and loved this! Well all I can say now is REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

~Rosebud5