"Well, what do you think of this place?" The father of Doug asked him as they just finished moving in they're new home in south park.
"What do I think? I think this place is bullshit. It's a fucking dump." Doug said, sitting on the couch.
"Hey! Don't you use that word. How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to use the 'F' word." He said as he hit his son on the head. 'God what a stupid redneck...' Doug thought. He took off his baltimore hat, scratched his head, put his hat back and walked out the door.
"I'm going to see if there's something to do outside." He said as he headed outside.
"Do you need any money?" His dad asked, not actually hoping that he'd have to spare a few dollars.
"No need, I already stole 15 bucks from your wallet." Doug thought. He spent a good half-hour looking for an arcade. He found a bar with an old 'invasion' or 'invaders' game or whatever it was called, y'know that game with the spaceships. He got some change at the bar and bought a glass of whisky. (They didn't ask him his age, they didn't really care.) As he was playing, Stan's uncle Jimbo, who was there with his war buddy Dan and Kenny's father Stuart, took a look at the kid.
"Now there's a man. Right Dan?" Jimbo said. Dan answered in his robotic voice.
"Damn right. Hey, Stuart. How old do you reckon he is?" Stuart didn't answer. He just looked at the kid.
"Hey son, how old are ya?" Stuart asked. Doug didn't look up from his game but did answer.
"Eight, why?"
"Jesus, look at that, eight years old and he's already acting like a 40 year old. I wish Stan would hang out with kids more like him." Jimbo said.
"What's your name? I've never seen you around here." Stuart asked him. Doug took a sip from his drink.
"My name's Doug. I just moved here. I'm actually from Baltimore but...well something about my dad losing money and, well we lost our house. Well, bottom line is...we ended up here." He said as he took another sip.
"Looks like we have a city slicker heh heh." Dan said. They chuckled a bit and Doug just ignored them. It was a little true. He was a little bit of a city slicker. Or how he put it a 'stupid spoiled brat from a city'. But he didn't always act like one. He just did when he was around his dad. Other than that, outside of his house, he was actually a pretty nice guy.
"So you just moved here huh? So you don't have any friends?"
"Well, no. I don't even know anyone from this town." Doug said, still without looking up from his game.
"Hey, d'you want to meet my nephew Stan? He hangs out with a few other kids." Jimbo said. "I think right now they're playing in a parking lot not far from here." Doug, who had just lost his game, turned around.
"Yeah sure, why not?"
"Stan?" Jimbo said as he approached the four kids playing with remote control cars.
"Yeah,uncle Jimbo?"
"Here, I want you to meet this kid we met." Stan looked at Doug. "He's new in town so be nice wit him. I think you two could become good pals." And with that, Jimbo went back in the bar with his two buddy's, leaving the five boys alone. Stan was the first one to talk.
"Hey dude. I'm Stan, this is Kyle, he's Kenny and the fatass is Cartman."
"My name's Doug. I just moved here from Baltimore." Cartman didn't really care of what he was saying.
"Dude, I just need to know one thing : are you a jew?" Doug looked at Cartman.
"Um...no?" Cartman gave a satisfied smile while Kyle looked at him wanting to smash his face.
"Well we're going to go to Cartman's house to watch some TV, you wanna come with us?" Kenny asked. Doug shrugged and followed them. "So you're from Baltimore huh?" Doug nodded. "Where are you living now?"
"In one of those wooden houses just a little outside of town." Cartman burst out laughing.
"Hahahaha you're poor. You're poor. You're poor like Kinney. You're poor like Kinney." Kenny and Doug looked at him with furious eyes.
"By the way dude. Isn't that hat of the baltimore orioles? Don't they like suck balls?" Asked Kyle.
"Yeah, but I don't really care. I mean sports isn't like my favourite thing in life. My real passion is theatre." They all stopped dead in their tracks.
"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FAG!" They all laughed out.
"Ok, ok I know it's a little..." Doug said trying to calm them down, but they kept laughing their asses off.
"Oh GOD, YOU'RE A BIG FUCKING FAG DUDE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Cartman was the one espiecally laughing hard. Doug, just about pissed out enough, left for home, leaving the five kids keep laughing.
Doug on his bed, smoking a cigarette and thinking about the kids who had just made fun of him. Suddenly someone knocked on the door. His dad was talking to someone, but he didn't understand the voice of the other person. Suddenly he heard his dad yell.
"Hey Doug c'mon down here," Doug went downstairs to see Kenny with his dad. "This kid here brought some cake or something cuz we're their new neighbours. Thank him by... I dunno, give him a boor or something." Doug came in front of Kenny.
"Oh hey dude...You come to make fun of my interests some more?" Kenny suddenly took a offended look.
"Hey dude, don't put me in the same bag as those guys. As far as I'm concerned, you're more of a friend to me than that fatass Cartman." It was obvious to Doug that Kenny was being serious. He could see that he hated the fat one.
"What about those two other guys?"
"Stan and Kyle? Listen dude... you left pretty early, you didn't see everything. We, me, kyle and Stan I mean, we just chuckled a bit. It was Cartman who really pissed you off by laughing." 'Sonofabitch' thought John. But now that he was thinking about it,he was right. "Still, I do think you're a little bit of a fag, but you seem like a nice guy so...plus to be honest...you're the first friend I've had who's poor too so..." He looked at the floor. "So...yeah."
"Yeah...You wanna watch some TV...have a beer maybe?" Kenny walked in the door and they watched TV the rest of the day and just talked.
"Um...by the way dude, you do know I almost don't understand anything you're saying right? Because of your Oarka huh?" Doug said.
"Whatever."
End of chapter one.
I know that this isn't very credible in case Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would probably outcast him but...oh well
BTW I don't know if it's important but in my story there's that thing where Kenny has his power to re-born... didn't know if it was important.
Read, review and enjoy.