Amy is sitting alone in her New York apartment. She couldn't believe what she had just done. Was it only three days ago that she decided to commit emotional suicide? She doesn't know how she's going to do it but she has no choice. She has to go on living without Ricky. And what about John? Omg what about John? She knew she couldn't take him to New York. It killed her that she knew that. But that's what mothers do right? Make sacrifices? Even if it meant making the ultimate sacrifice? Kathy had done it. She gave up her daughter knowing she couldn't possibly provide for in the way her adoptive parents could. Making the ultimate sacrifice for the better good of your child. If Kathy could be brave and strong enough to do it, then she could be brave enough to leave her son with his father, instead of hurting them both and taking John away to New York. It's a nice thought though. Having John with her here. She wouldn't mind that so much, just her and John. It could be just her and John for the rest of her life and she would be satisfied with that. But, she knew John would be miserable. Her son would have nothing here. At least this way, he is still living in the home he loves, with the man who would be able to provide for him. John would have his father, and not to mention, her own parents, Nora and Rickys parents. If she brought John with her here, she wouldn't be just taking John away from his home and Ricky. She would be taking him away from everything he's known for the first 3 years of his life, including his teachers and friends from daycare. It wouldn't be fair to uproot him like that. And really between school and studying and probably having to take up a part time job, John would be spending most of his time having random people look after him than he would be with his own mother in New York. Of course she would find the best daycare and school for him to go to, and someone solid she trusts to babysit during the nights she would have to work; but what kind of life is she really giving him. No, this was the best option. It might not be the best option for her, but at least she's actually getting to live her dream of going to Hudson. If she could just find a way to see John more.
Amy looked at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. Get out Amy, she told herself. You've been in New York for 3 days and you've done nothing but sulk in this apartment. Get dress and get out. So she did just that. She tied her long brown hair up in a ponytail and decided to head to the store to pick up some groceries.