Entry 1: 31 August 1994
This is the diary of Cho Chang – a hormonal 15 year old. Seriously, sometimes (kidding! It's most times) I hate myself.
I hate returning back to school. It's absolutely ridiculous. I live in fucking Scotland and I have to go down to London to take a train which will bring me back to Scotland. Why? Because the school authorities just couldn't implement a Floo Network system for all Hogwarts children to just floo back to school.
It's probably not even that hard. The Ministry does it. My mum gets to floo from home to work all the time and random people can't just floo in. And if Hogwarts can send tens and thousands of letters to pre-first-years to invite them to join the school, why can't they just implement a Floo Network for their students. I have listed below a few reasons why they should do this:
1. They will save the students immense amounts of time. It takes the train about 6 hours to reach Hogwarts from Platform 9 ¾s. If the school allowed us to floo in, then we wouldn't have to spend so much time.
2. It would save Hogwarts money. Because Platform 9 ¾s probably is rented out from the King's Cross Central Limited Partnership, Hogwarts will probably have to pay them rental because they're using a specific line for their own specific purposes. Allowing students to floo would mean they save god knows how many galleons a year.
Addendum 1: they also wouldn't need to hire a train conductor or a snack cart lady
3. It would prevent muggles from going on to the Platform. I have no idea how muggles have not seen a bunch of children with trolleys piled high with cases and cages of owls have run into a wall in one of the busiest train stations in England. It's ridiculous. A muggle could just stroll on to the train for Hogwarts and the school can't do shit about it. You know what muggles don't have access to? Floo networks. That's what.
In essence, the school should hire me as an administrator. I could save them so much money.
Anyway, it's fifth year. Hooray. Mum got me this diary, so I can keep track of my emotions. Apparently, I'm emotional. I blame it on the hormones. 15 is a tough year in a young girl's life. Boys are turning into boys. And everything is in limbo. Plus of course, OWLs are this year. How perfect.
Of course, no one agrees with me. Because "Cho's Chinese, of course she wants to do well".
Firstly, fuck you, being Chinese has nothing to do with wanting to do well. I just don't want to end up a bum. And of course, it doesn't help that my dad decided that cutting off ties with his especially rich and well-connected pure blood family. This just means that I can't bat my eyelashes at old Grandpa Chang and ask him for a job in Hong Kong. I hate nepotism when it doesn't work for me.
Secondly, do people know that Cho is NOT my surname? Everyone addresses everyone by their surnames – it's "Diggory" or "Potter" or "Davies". Cho is not my fucking surname. It's my name. I would prefer it very much if people address me by my surname – Chang. You know, because, if I don't know you well, you don't deserve to call me "Cho".
Ugh, I'm getting upset. I don't like trains. They make me feel carsick. And guess what? Because wizards floo and/or apparate everywhere, they don't get carsick so no one makes potions for that. Merlin's pearls, I really hate trains.
I'm off the train, currently sitting in the Astronomy Tower. Couple of years back, I found a room in here which I suspect was used as a storage room. Anyway, I've claimed it mine. I've packed quite a few books away in here and of course, to claim it as an extension of the Ravenclaw common room, I've been draping Ravenclaw colours everywhere. No one comes here to do anything but snog because it's "claustrophobic" and "stuffy". Ugh, prats.
So interesting news. Apparently, Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons are having the Triwizard Tournament.
Well Cho, what's the Triwizard Tournament?
Glad you asked! It's an absurdly dangerous tournament where "champions" ie: underaged children compete for a stupid gold cup and 1000 galleons. And there's a high probability that they might die! Wowza. To rationalise this absurdly dangerous tournament, which honestly is probably a way for Dumbledore to get his rocks off, the school authorities claim that it's for building "ties with other wizarding communities". It is absurdly stupid.
You want children to die so other children can make friends? Firstly, as with all other tournaments and championships, once you pit one group against another, the only thing that's going to come of it is conflict. Nobody's going to like it when the Hogwarts champion dies so the Beauxbatons' one can win the tournament. Two, you're going to hurt school spirit because everyone in Hogwarts doesn't give two shits about the school – they care about their houses. So if Spinnet from Gryffindor becomes the champion, I bet my last Galleon that Flint is going to get the entirety of Slytherin to support Durmstrang.
Also if you want to "create ties with other wizarding communities", why just invite the schools in Europe? It's not like there is a huge difference in culture. You should invite ALL the wizarding schools. That'd make more sense like the one in Japan or Uganda or America. Also, how is it that Asia – the largest continent in the world - only has one wizarding school while Europe, arguably the second smallest continent has three (four, if you count Russia).
Sorry, I keep moving away from the main topic. Anyway here is the abbreviated version of what happened.
One, Durmstrang guys are good looking. Girls are going crazy over them.
Two, Durmstrang girls look a bit like Bellatrix Lestrange. Slytherin boys are going crazy.
Three, everyone from Beauxbatons is beautiful. Everyone is going insane.
Four, Marietta agrees with me that Cedric Diggory should have been in Beauxbatons. The boy is dreamy. I could stare at him for days. Pity, his lacking in the intelligence department. But he's still quite a gentleman. I once got hit by a bludger from Hufflepuff and he apologised to me, blushing.
This day has been exasperating.
Note 1: Remember to get Luna Lovegood to give you an edition of the Quibbler for Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures (Research title: The statistics of non-existence – the crumple horned snorkack)
Note 2: You owe Cedric Diggory his scarf from the Quidditch night of horror