Nov. 9: Added to and revised slightly
..There are so many more people in Arcadia Bay who should live...way more than me!
...Maybe you've just been delaying my real destiny...
...She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner!
Max opened her eyes and jolted awake with a start, the last details of a dream, already three-quarters forgotten, passing through her mind as she stared at the stucco ceiling above her. "Chloe..." she whispered with a morose sigh, wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes. She could taste the sourness of her breath and feel the pounding of her head after another restless night filled with images she'd dare not think about. She turned to look up at the milk crate that doubled as a bedside table and groaned in frustration: the blank face of her alarm clock, the still blades of the small heater on the floor, and the general dimness and quiet of the apartment. The power was out again; third time this month.
"Are you actually cereal right now?" she muttered as she slid off the mattress on the floor and slowly got to her feet, walking to the washroom with her teeth chattering and a threadbare blanket wrapped around her body. She tossed the blanket by the front door and got undressed, hoping a shower might wash away some of her emotional dirt along with the physical. Max caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she passed it on the way to the tub; her attempts to avert her eyes not successful today. The darkness of the bathroom put her on edge, casting shadows on her face that made it look gaunt and corpse-like. Her chest tightened as her anxiety began to rise; she swore she saw figures or some sort of shape moving behind her. Quickly, she closed her eyes and kept them shut until she was safely in the tub with the curtain shut.
I wish I wasn't alone right now.
Her dripping brown hair hung in her face as she stood in the small tub underneath the shower head; the water — lukewarm as always — cascaded down her trembling body. She leaned forward with her eyes closed; her forehead resting on the tiled wall, trying hard not to have another panic attack. "Two months since the storm." Max thought to herself. "Two months since I last used my powers. Two months since Arcadia Bay...ended" Max squeezed her eyes tightly closed and grimaced. Her chest tightened, and she felt herself starting to hyperventilate again; she willed herself to think about something else.
The tepid water on her freckled skin...
The sound of cars outside the window...
The knowledge that she would be home soon...
It had been just about two months since they drove north without looking back; two months since they had found a cheap apartment in a small town in northern Washington on the border with Canada; two months since she texted her parents to tell them that she was alive, and in touch with Chloe again. She let them know that she would tell them everything soon, and to please transfer as much money as they could spare into her bank account. Then she closed all of her social media accounts and cancelled her phone service.
"Two months... Two months" Max whispered over and over into the shower wall, head-butting the tiles and crossing her arms across her chest so tightly that her breasts hurt.
You're my hero, Max…
Looks like fate doesn't even want us apart…
"Your hero…who killed your whole family." Max whispered against the sound of the shower spray. Taking shaky breath after shaky breath, she closed her eyes and tried to keep herself from falling as her head began to spin.
I can't keep fixing everything if all I'm going to do is just break it over and over again.
"I thought I could fix this…but…fuck this is all my fault, Chloe!" Max began to loudly sob, and bang her head harder against the shower wall. She closed her eyes and tried again to relax herself. "Stop it! You have to be strong, Max." She told herself, "Chloe needs you. You need to get your shit together and fix things right!"
After a few more moments, Max finally felt her breathing return to normal; the dizziness and nausea beginning to dissipate. She gingerly stepped out of the tub onto the cold bathroom floor. She pat herself dry with the towel that Chloe and she shared, then reached outside the bathroom for the blanket to wrap herself back up in. Her hand rubbed against nothing but the thin carpet of their apartment floor; it wasn't there.
"Um... Chloe?" She called out, "Are you here? Are you back?"
"Mm?" came the mumbled reply.
Oh thank God!
A small smile crossed her lips and, slipping back on her underwear and t-shirt, she crossed her arms across her chest for warmth and padded quickly down the short hall. Chloe lay in bed underneath the blanket, the orange of her work uniform peeking out. Max quickly slid underneath the blanket and shifted up against Chloe's body, wrapping an arm tightly around her and hugging her.
"Hmm?"
I missed you! Fuck, am I glad you're back!
"I'm cold." Max answered instead and moved even closer to Chloe, "The power is out again." she added, burying her face into the back of Chloe's shirt. Things had felt unusually distant between them for the past few weeks; with Chloe taking as many shifts as she could at work to support them, it seemed to Max like she hardly saw her much anymore. Although she didn't recall Chloe being away any more often than normal, to Max it felt like weeks since she felt the comfort that Chloe provided her. The scent of cigarettes, Slurpee syrup, and sweat emanating from Chloe's body filled Max with a feeling of safety far greater than the thin blanket that covered them. She quickly forgot about the power, the cold and her recent panic attacks; her eyes were starting to close when the shifting movement on the mattress roused her. Chloe turned over to face her, and Max saw Chloe's big blue eyes staring at her from an inch away; their noses almost touching. She could smell the sourness of Chloe's breath on her face and about to make a flippant comment but something about the way her eyes were gazing into hers with seriousness and sadness made her mouth shut again. Instead, she reached forward and pushed a bluish blonde strand off Chloe's nose.
"I'm sorry, Max." Chloe said to her softly. "For what?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow and continuing to push loose strands of Chloe's hair from her face.
She looks so sad. I did this...
Chloe's eyes seemed to Max not as bright as they once were and dark bags had formed underneath. It had only been two months, but Chloe looked to her like she'd aged five years in that time. "For being a fucking loser; for this shit apartment where the power goes out every other day; for working all the time and not making enough to buy proper meals for us." She took a deep breath and turned to look up at the ceiling, "You don't deserve any of this, Max."
Max frowned and wiped away a tear sliding down the side of Chloe's cheek. "You're no loser, Chloe! Maybe it's not perfect, but I know you're doing your best. I choose to be here with you, just like I said. I'll always have your back!"
"Why, Max? How...how could you choose this shit life with me instead of an entire town...instead of your friends...and my mother?"
Max's eyes tightly closed at the mention of the storm, and she felt her chest tighten again. The destroyed buildings, shattered bodies, the screaming that Max swore she could hear sometimes like it was happening right beside her...
"Why did you tear up that picture, Max?" Max's eyes opened again and she saw the look on Chloe's face, full of the same anguish she had on that day two months ago when she told Max that only she could make the choice, and then she made it; the same anguish that she always had when Arcadia Bay came up in their conversations. The same anguish in that motel bathroom.
Max crawled on top of Chloe, took her face in her hands and kissed her deeply. It took all of her mental strength to continue the façade of strength that she'd been forcing over the past two months, and she knew that if she didn't do something to distract her mind quickly then she'd fall apart, either bursting into tears or being crippled by a panic attack. She couldn't let that happen - not in front of Chloe. "Because I love you, Chloe! I've loved you for as long as I can remember! Because..." she said, still holding Chloe's face in her hands, "I left you once and I'm never leaving you again!" She took Chloe's hand in hers and squeezed it affectionately and reassuringly; brought it up to her mouth and kissed the fingers with the tar stains and chewed nails. Max closed her eyes and felt an undeniable urge to put Chloe's hand on her breasts...or between her legs; to do whatever she could to convince Chloe that she was there for her...and to know that Chloe was there for her as well.
"Okay, Max. Okay." Chloe whispered, a smile starting to form, "I don't know why you chose me...but you did...and I'll always be with you, no matter what. You're everything to me."
Max could feel her resolve breaking with tears starting to fill her eyes. "Always isn't long enough." she mouthed softly, then leaned down to kiss Chloe again and again, whispering her name as she felt overwhelmed by her need to be with her, to give herself fully to what Chloe made her feel. Their lips moved together as gentleness gave way to something deeper, increasing with growing intensity and emotion. Hands moved from her face, down her neck and Max gasped in satisfaction as she felt them move underneath her shirt and rough palms rub and squeeze her small breasts.
"My hands aren't too cold?" Chloe whispered, pulling apart from her to sit up slightly. "Shush!" Max said breathlessly, pushing Chloe back on the bed, and climbing back on top of her. The brunette's pale face had turned from light to dark pink as she leaned down and hungrily began to kiss Chloe again, her lips moving lower each time; first nipping at the bridge of her nose with her teeth...then the tip of it...then gently stopping to take her lower lip in her mouth and suck on it. As Max began to move down Chloe's face, she felt Chloe wrap her arms around her. Max moaned in pleasure at the fleshy invasion of Chloe's tongue in her mouth, then cringed involuntarily at the sudden taste overwhelming her senses.
Max's eyes opened as the tongue was quickly removed and saw a face inches from her own. "It's my breath, isn't it?" She said, smirking. Max smirked and roughly kissed Chloe's lips again, "The taste of 7-11 nachos and cheap cigarettes aren't my favourite, but it's fine." she rasped.
"I can brush my teeth if you want," Chloe said, looking toward the washroom thoughtfully. Max rolled her eyes and took Chloe's face in her hands, "Chloe...I need this...I need you to fu...gahh, I just need you, okay?"
"Jeez, girl! Fine, I'll shut up then!" Chloe said, laughing as she back down. Max smirked, "You're such a dork, Chloe." and, before she could respond to that, Max attached her mouth to the side of Chloe's neck and began to suck and bite. She felt Chloe's body shiver gently at the contact, and that made her body heat up even more. Her long fingers started clumsily unbuttoning Chloe's work shirt, needing to see and feel as much of her skin as possible. When she had finished with the last button, she pulled Chloe's shirt open and her eyes widened as she saw Chloe wasn't wearing a bra underneath. Chloe's eyes met hers, and they both smiled at each other, their faces a bright pink. "I always take it off when I walk in the door." she said unnecessarily.
Max saw Chloe close her eyes and heard her sigh in pleasure as the warm wetness of her lips brushed against Chloe's nipples, first one and then the other. "Do you like when I kiss you there?" Max asked breathlessly. Chloe nodded, her face blissful, "Mmmhmm!" Max smiled as she nuzzled and licked down Chloe's belly, "Where would you like me to kiss you next?" she asked, already with a destination in mind.
Chloe opened her mouth to answer when they were suddenly interrupted by a knocking on the door. Max jerked upright in surprise and covered her chest with her hands reflexively, nearly falling backward off the bed; meanwhile, Chloe let out a yelp of frustration and some choice words under her breath.
"Max? It's June Fraser from 103; is your power out too?"
Feeling light-headed and breathing heavily from their activities, Max stumbled across the room - arms protecting her breasts - and loudly called, "Yes, Mrs. Fraser! It's usually only off for a few hours, though!"
"Do you want me to call the super?"
"I swear if she doesn't back the fuck off right fucking now..." Chloe grumbled.
Max showed Chloe that she shared her frustration, then replied "No thank you! It's fine!" as she checked the chain on the door to make sure it was latched. When she heard the sound of footsteps padding down the hall again, she let out a breath she wasn't aware that she was holding and turned back toward the bed. Chloe had wrapped up in the blankets, facing away from the door.
Pushing her hair from her face with a hand, Max padded back toward the bed and slowly got in beside Chloe. "I'm sorry that happened," she said, with a sigh. "I fucking hate this apartment!" Chloe grumbled, her voice muffled by her pillow.
Max bit her lip, anxiety gradually loosening its grip on her chest, but doing nothing to relieve the throbbing ache remaining between her legs. "I guess that sort of killed the mood, huh?" she muttered, staring up at the ceiling and trying to think about something else.
"We...um...can still do stuff if you want." she heard Chloe say. Turning toward her, Max let out a laugh despite herself at Chloe's cheeky smirk and reached over to run her fingers through Chloe's hair affectionately. Hair dye wasn't a priority following their exodus from Oregon, so the blue and purple of Chloe's hair had faded significantly showing Chloe's original red-blonde colour. "I mean...whatever. You don't...have to, I guess. This is nice too; I mean, lying here with you...beside you."
Chloe's smirk turned into a grin that caused her blue eyes to shine. Max smiled back, but the smile turned to surprise as she felt Chloe's hand brush over her belly. "Chloe, wha..." Max started to say, but was cut off by a soft "I love you, Max." Chloe leaned over and placed gentle kisses on Max's bare neck as her hand slowly slid down the front of Max's underwear. The ache between Max's legs grew exponentially as Chloe's fingers parted her moist folds and touched the places where she seemed to know Max ached to be touched.
Max's breathing quickened, and her mind focused on nothing else but the joy and pleasure that her Chloe was giving her; her best friend...her lover...their new relationship hadn't ever been formally defined but that was not on her mind at the moment, The rough fingers that touched her sensitive areas were calloused, and she smelled strongly of unwashed skin, cigarettes, and coffee; yet she knew nothing felt or smelled better. Instead of the urgent desire she felt before, this was something softer...more delicate. More like their first time.
She felt Chloe's touches increase in speed, responding to the gentle moans and whimpers she couldn't help but make; despite the earlier interruption, it didn't take long for Max to return to that place of peak pleasure where a familiar tightness like a coiled spring started in her belly and grew outward. Chloe continued kissing her neck and around her jawline, as she finally reached the edge of release and then gently let herself go. Her mouth opened and she inhaled sharp, stuttering breaths; trembling as she emptied her lungs and closed her legs tightly around Chloe's hand to draw out the feeling.
She lay panting for a few moments, catching her breath, before she turned to Chloe with a smile and saw that she had managed to pry her hand out and was flexing her fingers. Max sat up and kissed her lips. "I love you, Chloe." she said, their foreheads touching.
"How do you feel?"
Max laughed and tried to come up with the proper words to describe the bliss she was experiencing, when, with a loud thump, the lights in the apartment came back on. The microwave in the kitchen beeped, the clock radio blared static, the small heat fan buzzed, and the building was suddenly alive with sounds from every direction.
"For fuck's sake!" Chloe said, laying back in the bed, laughing despite herself. Max lay on her chest and contemplated the past few hours and minutes. She knew the good feelings wouldn't always be there, and she was ready for the next panic attack. It would probably happen sooner rather than later. It had been two months, after all.
It was time to return to the real world.