[A/N : This is only the second story of this kind that I've ever written. Criticism is welcome, when constructive.]
[Disclaimer : I own nothing. All credit goes to J.K. Rowling.]
The fire sparked and crackled, the faint green light of the common room providing some degree of relief to Scorpius as he massaged his temples. The heat from the fire felt good on his bare chest. The common room was empty, save for Scorpius; it was after midnight, and none of the other Slytherins suffered from recurring nightmares. The same dream had been haunting him for months, and was affecting his ability to get a good night's sleep. The dream about a world that was never meant to exist. The world where Voldemort had won the war, and established dominance over the entire wizarding world. The world where he was the Scorpion King. A world without his best friend... without Albus. Scorpius shook his head, trying his best to shake the thoughts out and concentrate on the sounds of the lake. The sounds of the water were soothing if one simply sat and listened; you could sometimes hear the giant squid swirling about. Scorpius pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them tightly as he sunk a little further into the armchair he'd fallen into, and tried to control his breathing. His fingers clenched at the fabric of his pyjama bottoms. "Eyes closed." He whispered to himself. "Breathe in... and out...". After a few minutes of peaceful thoughts and breathing exercises, Scorpius was finally starting to feel okay. He stood, and trudged back to his bed, trying his best not to wake anyone. His head had scarcely hit the pillow when he heard a familiar voice whispering to him.
"Scorpius? Are you okay?"
It was Albus. Scorpius would have probably pretended to be asleep if it were anyone else, but he wouldn't do that to Albus. He couldn't. "Yes, I'm ju... I'm... just having trouble sleeping, you needn't worry." Scorpius said softly. He meant it, too, he didn't want to worry his best friend, but... some part of him was happy that Albus was worried, that he cared. Much as he would have liked to end the conversation there, Scorpius knew that Albus would want to know more.
Albus had rolled over, facing Scorpius' bunk, trying to get a faint glimpse of his friend between the bed's flowing green curtains. All he could see at the moment was a few streaks of platinum blonde hair. "How am I supposed to react?" Albus whispered, keeping his voice as low as he could, lest he wake any of the others. "I can tell that you've been having nightmares. You talk in your sleep, and you thrash around... I think that's a good enough reason to worry." Silence hung in the air, and Albus began to think that Scorpius might have fallen back asleep. He had almost rolled back over to go back to sleep himself, when he heard the swishing and rustling of blankets across from him. Albus sat up, and found Scorpius in the same position, head hidden in his hands. "Scor? C'mon... talk to me."
Scorpius sighed, hands dropping to his sides, eyes still glued to the ground. "It keeps happening in my dreams, Al. Every night, it happens again. I see him. I see myself. A twisted version of a world that could have been, all because two losers decided to try and save an innocent life." Scorpius breathed, his voice barely audible, yet full of sadness. "I know that it's not real... the harm was undone, but I remember it so vividly. I can still see that world through my own eyes, when I sleep. It was horrific. Worst of all, y... you...". Unable to choke out the last words, Scorpius fell backward in a limp fashion, legs still hanging off the bed. He didn't want Albus to see the tears that had formed in his eyes.
Albus wasn't sure what to say. They had discussed this at length before, and he knew that it must have been traumatic, but he hated that his friend continued to suffer because of it. Taking a deep breath, Albus made his way over to Scorpius' bed as quietly as he could, and took a seat next to his friend. "Scorpius..." Albus said in a hushed tone, placing a gentle hand on Scorpius' arm. "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm right here with you. Everything that happened... I can't imagine, it must have been terrible, but... I'm here. You can't get rid of me that easily." Scorpius had let out a brief chuckle at that, but had also flinched at Albus' touch, and, as Albus looked closer, was crying. "C'mon Scor, it'll be okay. You're not there anymore, I'm proof of that."
Scorpius sat up, delicately removing Albus' hand from his arm, and wiping his eyes. After taking a moment to compose himself, Scorpius was finally able to look his friend in the eye. "That isn't the only reason I've been down lately, Al. Some nights, I..." Scorpius wrapped his arms around himself, and looked away; eye contact was too difficult after all. "Some nights, I don't have nightmares. Occasionally, I h-have... good dreams too. Every once in a while. It's happening more often lately, and I just... I can't take it. It hurts." Scorpius was trying hard to ignore the lump forming in his throat.
Albus couldn't make heads or tails of that. A good dream happening more often, breaking up the nightmares? Nothing about that sounded bad. Perhaps the lack of sleep was simply messing with Scor's head. Albus couldn't leave the conversation there, though. His concerns were greater than before, after seeing Scorpius like this. No one would want to see their friend go through such pain, and Scorpius had already gone through enough. "I don't understand, Scorpius, but I want to. How is this good dream making things worse?"
Scorpius pulled his legs up to his chest, resting his head on his knees as he had earlier. He didn't think he would be able to say what he needed to say, but it had to be said. He couldn't hold it in any longer, and to continue to do so was unfair to Albus. It terrified Scorpius to even consider telling Al... his best friend, his only true friend, what he truly felt. "I don't want to lose you again, Albus, but... I also can't pretend not to feel what I feel anymore. When you and I were apart, I was genuinely heartbroken. When you didn't exist... I didn't want to exist either. I wanted to die. That's what it took, for me to finally admit it to myself. Albus, I..." Scorpius was almost hyperventilating, he was so nervous. So many times, he had promised himself that he would never mention this, never say it out loud. Even now, his fears were fighting his desires with tooth and claw, vying for dominance. Having taken a moment to overcome the persitent lump in his throat, Scorpius forced himself to look back at Albus. It took everything he had to stay locked on those bright green eyes. "I have feelings for you. I think I have for a long time... I think that the only reason I asked out Rose was my belief that you wouldn't be able to return my feelings, so I tried to forget... but I can't. I want more than just friendship from you, and trying to ignore that part of myself hurts me more and more every day... I-I'm sorry."
Albus was stricken silent as Scorpius' grey eyes pierced right through him. This was his best friend, but there was only truth in those eyes. "Wow... Scor, I... I don't know what to say. I-"
"You don't have to say anything." Scorpius interjected. "I just... I needed to tell you. I needed you to know. I didn't think you would feel the same, but I had to tell you." He stood, planning to escape back to the common room, his eyes betraying him by tearing up again. Before he could take a step, Scorpius felt Albus' hand take hold of his, firmly.
"Don't go." Albus said, looking up at Scorpius through this hair, expression all of a sudden serious. "There's something I haven't told you either, I... I'm... bisexual." Albus couldn't believe that he'd just said that. It wasn't something that he felt comfortable thinking about at length, and he'd certainly never talked to anyone about it, but he knew that telling Scorpius was the right thing to do. On some level, Albus had always found boys as appealing as girls, and he had grown closer to Scorpius than anyone else in his life. They were best friends, but some of what he had felt probably went beyond friendship, if he was being honest with himself.
Scorpius' eyebrows had shot up, and he was staring down at his friend with incredulity. "H-how long have you...?"
Albus rose to his feet, his face inches from Scorpius', and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Honestly, I'm not sure... I've never really thought about it. Now that I am thinking about it, though..." Albus slid his free hand up Scorpius' chest, stopping over his heart. The way Scorpius shivered made Albus feel something he hadn't felt before, and it excited him. He paused, taking a moment to feel the heart thundering just below his fingers. "...I suppose I've been a bit thick. I've no idea how I didn't see... I feel like it's been right in front of me this whole time, and I just couldn't acknowledge it. Can you forgive me?"
Scorpius dropped his gaze in embarassment, and felt a familiar heat rushing through his cheeks. "There's nothing to forgive, Al, it's not your fault. I tried my best to hide... not just from you, either, from everyone." He slid an arm around Albus' waist, pulling his other hand free to brush the hair from Albus' eyes. "You know, I've always found your hair cute, but it hides your eyes... I love your eyes..." Scorpius whispered, his fingers playing with strands of Albus' dark hair. He was surprised by his own daring, but this was what he had wanted for so long, it was literally his dream coming true. "...and I just want to kiss you now. Can I kiss you? Is it too soon? I don't want to move too fast if-"
Albus leaned in on pure impulse, cutting Scorpius off with a kiss. He felt Scorpius lean in to kiss him back, and his heart almost skipped a beat. When their lips parted, Scorpius' grey eyes found his, their bodies suddenly closer than they had been before. He gave Scorpius another quick peck before giving an actual answer. "I don't think kissing is moving too fast, Scor. Also, much as I'd like to kiss you more... and I would... we need to go to bed. It's late, and we've got double charms right after breakfast."
Scorpius was a little disappointed, but nodded in agreement. "I know..." He said, letting out a heavy sigh. "I just don't want to wake up and find out that this whole thing was another dream."
Albus smiled, and grabbed Scorpius' wand off of the bedside table, handing it to him. "You're better at protective spells than I am. Cast one around my bed, and come sleep next to me. None of the others will see us together, they'll just see two empty beds. How does that sound?"
Scorpius laid down on Albus' bed, Albus cuddling up next to him and pulling the blankets over them. He raised his wand, and whispered "cave inimicum". A wispy sort of shield enveloped the bed, disappearing from sight as it settled into the air. Scorpius slid his wand under his pillow, laid back, and allowed Albus to rest his head on his chest. Both were tired, and Scorpius felt himself drifting already. He kissed playfully at the top of Albus' head, one hand running through his dark hair again. For once, Scorpius wasn't worried about bad dreams. "Albus?"
"Yes?" Albus breathed, clearly halfway asleep already.
Scorpius yawned, stretching a little with his reply. "I'm not ready to come out yet, but... when I do... it would make me very happy to be able to call you my boyfriend."
"Me too, Scor."
"Goodnight."
"Night."
I thought it might be interesting to include some songs from my writing playlist, so here are some recent additions;
The Contortionist – Reimagined
Polyphia – The Worst
Daughter – Landfill (SizzleBird remix)
Halsey – Ghost
Mr FijiWiji ft. CoMa – Apathy