He tried to save him.
He really did.
Killua did everything in his power to stop Gon from crossing over to the other side, but it seems like it wasn't enough.
Nothing he ever did was enough, just like now, he lost the most precious person in his life.
They say that whoever has a destined other half, they will be born into a mundane world, without color.
Just black and white.
But they say that whoever manages to find their soulmate, with the first glance into each other's eyes, a brand new world opens up for them and they say that, at that very moment, they feel such indescribable sereneness.
They feel whole.
And that's what exactly happened to Killua and Gon at their first meeting.
A small glance into each other's eyes was all it took for them to realize who that person before them was.
No words were needed, because their eyes betrayed everything that their souls wanted to voice out.
They say that your soulmate is the one who mends your broken heart by giving you theirs, but what happens when there is no other heart to give?
No answer has yet been given to this question, because once someone finds their soulmate, they live the rest of their life with their loved one.
But, for one certain white haired assassin, that was not the case.
He, like everyone else, wanted from the first moment upon meeting Gon to spend the rest of his life peacefully with one another. It seems like the universe had other plans scheduled for them.
After so many hardships and countless obstacles that they had to face together along their way towards their goals, after Killua had believed that all this pain and suffering would finally come to an end, his life turned upside down when Gon had been hospitalized and was into an extremely critical condition after his fight with Pitou.
He had immediately gone back to his home at Kukuroo Mountain to gain his younger sister's help- and he did, as the two of them had left for the hospital where Gon resided in.
He could have saved Gon, they would forget everything and continue on with their lives like nothing ever had happened.
He could have, but he wasn't quick enough.
And now Killua was standing beside Gon.
"Hey Gon, how are you doing? It's been a while since we last talked, hasn't it? Well, yeah, I guess I'm good but nothing's really been the same since the accident, you know? I have started talking to myself a lot lately and am waiting for responses, because I've been so used to you being there and always hearing your energetic voice, but I miss it now- I miss you."
A forced and pained smile made its way on Killua's lips, his eyes now stinging from the salty tears that were rolling down his cheeks, staining his clothes.
"Please talk to me, I want to hear your voice again. I want to know that you are still here with me- please, say something." Killua begged, as his legs wobbled like Jello and fell on his knees.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me, I'm sorry that I wasn't quick enough to save you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything that I have and haven't done."
Killua kept mumbling repeatedly under his breath, just kneeling there beside Gon, and he didn't notice how fast time had passed, until a chilly dead silence and darkness stretched all around them, a close similarity to Killua's obscure and empty soul that has come to be this past month.
Killua held his head high, gazing at the complete void that filled his sight, as a dry chuckle escaped his lips.
"Who would have thought that we would end up like this, huh? You, up there, watching over me, but I can't even see you." Killua slowly rose onto his feet, now his painful gaze fixated on Gon.
"It was nice seeing you again, I will return soon, but for now, this is a temporary goodbye." He whispered, as he let his fingers caress the carved name of his lost lover.
Then, Killua turned around and slowly walked away.
Away from his source of love and pain.
Away from his reason of happiness and misery.
Away from Gon's grave.
Killua is the only one that knows the answer to the dreaded question, but he finally understands why he is the only one to be cursed.
He was condemned to live the rest of his life without sight.
And as he walks the path of unknown alone and sightless, he was destined not to even live into a colorless world, with just black and white, but a world filled with infinite void, pain and loneliness.
I know it's kinda small, but who cares? I don't. Well, as you can see, I love writing angst, I'm sorry that I killed Gon- BELIEVE ME I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT, THEY BLACKMAILED ME INTO THIS!!!
Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed and thanks for reading this! Peace! -Zoe