A/n: The reason why there's a huge difference between the writing styles of "We Don't Talk About Applebees", "Do What Now?" and my others is because all of my others were written for Tumblr! So they're actually in text post format, and I have trouble transferring that style to my actual, full length writing style.

This is another one written in that text post style, as it was originally posted in 5 parts on Tumblr.

TITLE CHANGE BECAUSE THIS IS A SERIES AND FROWNS UPON POSTING MULTIPART SERIES. SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION

This is an awkward read, enjoy!

Sasuke is the really mean English teacher. He seems almost robotic and his unwavering eyes stare into your soul when you speak to him to the point that students just kind of slink away mid-subject.

Naruto is the very nice Calculus teacher. Everybody loves him. He's as bright as day and his smile can warm the coldest of hearts.

Sasuke hates him (or so the students like to believe).

One day the students bring Naruto up in Sasuke's class. Sasuke gets a little annoyed.

"Mr. Uzumaki let us get an extension on our homework because of the blackout. Maybe you should postpone tomorrow's test." A student, who clearly did not study for their test, complains.

"I do not care what daddy said, I-"

The room falls silent.

"I did not just say that." Comes out as more of a "the kettle is ready" squeak than Mr. Uchiha's normal, even toned voice.

Of course, the class erupts into laughter as Sasuke covers his reddening face with his hands.

"I'm sorry Mr. Uchiha, I didn't realize Mr. Uzumaki was your father." A student teased.

A disgruntled sob of humiliation comes out of Sasuke as he walks to the corner of his room and hits his head on the wall.

The kids are laughing, it's all over Snapchat, and Sasuke's life is over.

As soon as the bell rings, Sasuke rushes to Naruto's class to do preventative damage control. He quickly explains that the students are starting a stupid rumor which is "totally untrue" and that he should "most definitely ignore it". Naruto raises an eyebrow. This is going to be interesting.

A student comes in right as Sasuke finishes his long winded but very rapid paced speech.

"He called you daddy during class." The student says nonchalantly.

Now, Sasuke can be very good at denying something and making it believable, and he tried to conjure up that ability now… but it manifests itself into another drawn out "the kettle is ready" squeak as his face turns red.

"D-daddy?" Naruto is barely holding it together at this point, "I wasn't aware I had a son."

Another sob of humiliation comes out of Sasuke.

"Shut up!" Sasuke whines.

"Don't you think you should save it for the bedroom, baby girl?"

"NARUTO!"

"That's daddy to you."

All Sasuke's awaiting class sees is Sasuke come in, face red, still doing his "kettle" whine, walking straight to the corner in his room as he tries not to cry. The students are confused and slightly concerned.

"I hate him so much." Sasuke sobs out in another pathetic high-pitched whine.

This is awful, but hey, he's all over Snapchat again.

Finally, with time between the present and the… unfortunate past, Sasuke feels a lot more relaxed due to the delusion that everyone had forgotten the "daddy incident".

Delusion.

Sasuke is in the middle of a lecture when some giggles were heard. He groans inwardly and turns to see what the students are up to.

"Really? You're passing notes? In my class, much less the year 2018?" Sasuke approaches them.

"This is something that is noteworthy, Mr. Uchiha, please understand." Something about the way the student says this sets warning bells off in his head.

Unfortunately, he elects to ignore them.

He grabs the paper away, scolding them for not paying attention until his voice catches in his throat upon seeing the note for the first time.

On the paper was a picture of Sasuke, planted firmly in Naruto's lap, engaged in a very heated kiss with the other teacher. On the top it said, "kiss me harder, daddy".

Sasuke stares blankly at it for a while. The students are giggling again. The giggles turn to full blown laughter when Sasuke's face morphs into a look of pure disbelief.

"I don't know what upsets me more, the subject matter, or the fact that you took so much effort to draw this what the hell this is really good." Sasuke waves the picture in the air a bit, "Why are you wasting your talent on… on this?"

"What else to spend my time drawing?" A student in the back asks nonchalantly. Sasuke points at him.

"You." He says sternly.

"Yes, it is I, who else?"

"Why would you do this?" Sasuke jabs a finger at the picture.

"Why not? Consider it a gift - free fanart of daddy and baby girl."

Sasuke's face displays a very impressive amount of anger, but the reddening of his face and ears chip away at the effect.

"I do not like you." Sasuke turns away again.

"Not like you ever did," the student replies, "but it's not like you're totally taking that to your desk right now or something."

Sasuke whips around. "I am not!"

Class continues after. Sasuke feels like sinking into a hole - it wasn't his fault he said it after all.

He does keep the picture, though.

But only to show Naruto what he must put up with in his class – or so he keeps telling himself.

When Naruto sees it, he bursts out laughing.

"Oh my god, Sas, this is great."

"It is not great! And it's not mine! I confiscated it from a student! A student! They were passing it around like a note!" Sasuke voice started going towards that "kettle" hysterics pitch again.

"I thought you were going to say they were passing it around like a joint for a second." Naruto said.

"NARUTO! There are STUDENTS in here!" Sasuke almost yelled.

"I noticed."

"You no- you noticed?" The last part came out in disbelief. "You noticed? And yet you're not concerned?"

"About what?" Naruto asked, taking the drawing away.

"About what. About what, he says," judging by his tone, Naruto dictates that Sasuke is completely done at this point. "About this whole "daddy" thing? You're not going to put a stop to this?"

"Why would I? You're the one that said it."

"It was a simple slip of the tongue–"

"How did your tongue slip from 'Naruto' or 'Mr. Uzumaki' to 'daddy'?" Naruto teased.

Sasuke gets really close to Naruto, trying his best to give off an intimidating aura.

"I hope you can see the murderous intent in my eyes, Uzumaki, because mark my words, it's about to not be just intent." Sasuke growls out.

"Okie dokie." Naruto says happily, turning away from the fuming man.

"Oki- what the hell? What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke says.

Naruto laughs, "You are so short."

Sasuke's glare intensifies.

"I can take a man down."

"I don't doubt that." Naruto replies, "Don't you have a class this period?"

"No, it's 5th period, which is my off period. Why are you being so mean?" Sasuke whines the last part out.

"You're the one who got yourself into the mess, Sasuke, I had nothing to do with it."

"You had everything to do with it." Sasuke hisses.

"Um, we're not even sleeping together, much less dating. I have no idea why you referred to me as 'daddy' in the first place."

Sasuke just about dies right where he is standing. That is one detail he overlooked.

Sasuke snatches the drawing off Naruto's desk.

"I despise you, Uzumaki." Sasuke made his way to the door.

"It's daddy to you."

"FUCK OFF!"

A/N: That's all folks. Goodbye.